Letters From The Dark
by Escoger
Summary: The final two years of Hogwarts prove more confusing than the previous five combined to Lily Evans. Receiving the benefit of unbiased advice from a mysterious pen-pal, she gains new perspective and learns more about herself and those around her.
1. Aggravation and Insults

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 1**

**Aggravation and Insults**

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Lily frowned as she looked at the parchment in front of her, pensively tapping it with her quill. Swallowing her preferred breakfast of eggs and bacon, she started to realize just how difficult being a pen-pal might be. The idea of sending a letter to someone she had never met before still made her feel awkward; she didn't want to be like one of _those _salesmen her mother always complained about.

At the start-of-term feast for her sixth year, Headmaster Dumbledore informed the students of a new idea that he had come up with for inter-school cooperation. As he explained, even though Hogwarts was the most prestigious of Britain's schools, there were others for less gifted magical students--or as James put it, the _rejects_. From what Lily had heard of those schools, they were hotbeds of Death Eater activity, so she suspected the Headmaster might be attempting to counteract it through his new program.

All of the students sixth year and up had been assigned a pen-pal from another school, to whom they were required to send at least ten letters over the course of the school year. The idea was to forge connections and friendships with those different from themselves, albeit anonymously. According to Dumbledore, the process was confidential on account of parental concern, all of the students using assumed names. However, meeting in person was to be encouraged if they found a connection worth exploring.

To no-one's real surprise, Sirius and James had derided it as a waste of their time, and they planned to send ten short letters the same day and forget about it. From what she had heard, most of the students of their year felt much the same way, planning to do the bare minimum to fulfil the requirements. However, Lily was a prefect, and thus felt she needed to set a good example for the other students; she had to take this seriously.

However, Lily was intimidated by the person that she had been assigned; he possessed a rather impressive set of accomplishments based on the fact sheet she had been given, although information like location and the like wasn't available to keep his name private.

Apparently, he had made almost straight O's on his O.W.L.s; while Lily herself had done very well indeed, her new pen-pal had gotten marks that would have assured him passage into the N.E.W.T. level in every single course he had taken, which was no mean feat. However, he seemed very rude indeed. In the essay attached to his fact sheet, he had simply stated in spiky handwriting:

_Whoever is reading this, allow me to save ourselves some time by making this clear: I believe that in all likelihood, you are an idiot, and I would be much better served with talking to a rock instead of writing to a dunderhead like yourself. All the same, this is required coursework, so I have little choice in the matter._

_Write what you will, and I will try to answer with a minimum of fuss, so that we might be done with this onerous task as quickly as we can. My selected pen-name is Perseus Evans, so if you address it as such, I shall receive it. I do not need to know the sordid details of your likely-insignificant life, nor do I care. We are not friends, nor am I interested in becoming anything more than your temporary_ _pen-pal_.

_Contact me soon, so that we might get this over with as fast as possible._

_Perseus_

Lily chewed her lip as she gazed down at the parchment; she wanted to make the best impression she could on the boy, and if she wasn't careful...Lily suspected it wouldn't go well. She didn't want to have to write ten letters to someone who hated her after all. That would be very taxing indeed.

She didn't want to come across as too anxious, nor too eager to please. On the other hand, she didn't want to come across as uncaring, even if the boy surely seemed not to care about the assignment...

Sighing, Lily started to write:

_Dear Perseus,_

_Although you might consider this a waste, I would hope that we might be able to become friends through this program. In spite of what you may believe, I am far from being a 'dunderhead'; as you should be aware, I have successfully passed six out of my seven courses and have been cleared to continue to the N.E.W.T. level in them._

_Furthermore, even if you think this is just a waste of time, wouldn't this 'onerous task' be easier to complete and less stressful if we at least attempted to enjoy it, Perseus? Besides, you might be pleasantly surprised; perhaps we could become friends in the end after all. Who knows?_

_Regardless, as you shoul know, my pen-name is Medusa. I enjoy Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms, and I rather adore Care of Magical Creatures, not that I'd tell anyone. My forte though is Potions, and my professor says that I am probably the best student he has had the pleasure to teach in over a decade. In addition to the School subjects, I am quite good at chess, and I happen to like watching Quidditch...although I cannot play worth a darn._

Lily then paused, remembering a certain dark-haired, former friend of hers with a scowl, before continuing with a vengeful glare.

_However, in case it doesn't mention it in my set of qualifications and such, I am a Muggleborn and proud of it! If you are one of those Pureblooded, pompous freaks who laugh as they call us 'Mudbloods', then I'll be happy to consider myself well shot of you after we fulfil the requirements, thank you very much!_

_However, if you don't care about stupid 'blood-purity', then I would be happy to try to make you my friend. Please at least consider it. _

_Best Wishes,_

_Medusa_

Perusing her letter, Lily scrutinized it carefully. The section about blood-purity might seem a bit...dramatic, but she just couldn't be friends with someone who thought less of her for her heritage.

Her ex-best friend Severus Snape had taught her that lesson brutally when he had insulted her in front of all of Hogwarts. He might have apologized, but until he stopped hanging around those other blood-purity fanatics, he was merely saying meaningless words. If he didn't believe what they said, then why did he want to be just like them?

'Forget about him,' Lily told herself, glancing across the Great Hall in the boy's direction as she did so, just for a moment. 'If he wants to be a Death Eater so bad, then he can do it on his own!'

Ignoring Potter's attempts to flatter her as she stood up, Lily quickly went up to the owlery and sent the letter. She idly wondered if the boy would even bother to reply at all.

* * *

It was a surprisingly short wait until she received a response. Barely two days passed before she received a reply from 'Perseus', whoever he was. As she had come to expect from the boy after his essay, it was arrogant, demeaning and aggravating in general, written in the same vaguely-familiar handwriting.

_Medusa,_

_Merely passing a few rote tests is no sign of true intelligence; after all, most of students at your institution graduate, do they not? I have no doubt that I could have passed the majority of the tests I have taken by merely reading the textbook and regurgitating the information found therein. If they truly required use of intellect, then the vast majority of my peers would have been removed from the school after the end of the previous term._

_Be that as it may, your point is...sound. The idea of speaking to someone as...enthusiastic as you would surely grate on my nerves, but it is probably best to deal with one another with as much civility as we can manage. (A difficult task, you can be sure.) _

_At least you are interested in useful subjects, with the odious exception of Care of Magical Creatures. (I have to deal with them enough dead; I'd rather not encounter them alive.)_

_However, I severely doubt that your skill in Potions is half of what you say it is; there is a vast difference between skill at brewing a potion and true mastery of the subject, as I would know. My professor simply isn't as skilled as I am in the subtle art and exact science, and that's all there is to it. I am loathe to believe that you could be any better._

_In regards to becoming friends, I have considered it; I merely decided that I have better things to do than deal with an overly-pretentious, likely-dunderheaded female. One in a lifetime is more than enough, thank you very much._

_Very Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Lily pursed her lips as she finished reading the last of his vast collection of insults; she hadn't expected all that much from Perseus, not really, but it was still infuriating that he apparently considered her to be little more than a gnat. It was as if all of her accomplishments were meaningless to him. The fact that he had no interest in friendship with her didn't bother Lily nearly as much as the fact he basically said she was worthless.

More than that, he had mocked her skills in potions; that was something which NO-ONE, not even Severus Snape himself, had dared to do even as a joke! She was the cleverest witch of her generation after all!

"Argh!" Lily let out her anger and annoyance in a low growl, glaring at the letter as she considered shredding it.

"Problems with your pen-pal?" came James Potter's voice from behind, making Lily jump. He then sat beside her on the couch, smirking arrogantly as his eyes dared her to move.

"Even if I was having problems, why would I want to tell you? I would prefer telling a troll!" snapped Lily, groaning in annoyance. Unfortunately, as embarrassing as Potter was, it would be even more of an aggravation for her to have to move, especially since she had been there first.

"Because you're _madly _in love with me after all. You need to tell me these things if we're going to have a trusting relationship after all," replied Potter smoothly. Lily rolled her eyes, her face heating up with embarrassment. Why couldn't the boy just take a hint and leave her alone?

However...Lily suddenly smirked, remembering something. "Actually," Lily purred, laughing inwardly. "There is something you can do for me..."

Potter leaned closer, clearly excited.

"You can go get Remus."

The handsome chaser fell over in surprise, causing Lily to grin at his shock. She then cleared her throat before saying in a much cooler voice, "At least he knows when someone is _not _interested. Go. Away."

Sighing, Potter left, leaving Lily to Perseus' irksome letter. Glaring down at it, she savagely penned her response:

_Dear Perseus,_

_I'm sorry, clearly all of those who pass those 'few rote tests' MUST be idiots. Oh wait! That would include you as well, wouldn't it? Even if your conclusion is sound, that those tests are easily passed by anyone capable of memorizing a few simple facts, that does nothing to prove your point that 'I' am stupid. _

_Please try harder next time._

_I am glad to see that you are willing to speak with civility toward me; now if only you actually had the ABILITY, and not just the intention...then perhaps I would be able to account your biting letter as something resembling 'civil'. Until then though, again...TRY HARDER!_

_Admittedly, you have a fair point in regards to Care of Magical Creatures, even if I disagree with it. Don't forget, knowing how to tell what animals are healthy can be quite helpful in knowing which are best to have slaughtered for ingredients. Please at least consider that._

_I am well aware that there is a vast difference between brewing a potion and mastering potion-making; however, I AM very talented in Potions, and am considering becoming a Potions Mistress myself. I am not ready to claim that I am your equal in the art--although I must express my doubt that anyone as snooty as you could be as skilled as I am, but I am certainly capable of doing any challenge you throw at me. As Muggles put it: 'Take your best shot!'._

_Speaking of which, you never did say anything for or against the blood-purity issue. What are your thoughts on that?_

_'Overly-pretentious'? 'Likely-dunderheaded'? If anyone here has been 'overly-pretentious' so far, that person would surely be you! However, if your powers are so vast that you are capable of judging me so accurately on the basis of a single letter, PLEASE let me know where you got them! _

_Regardless, mind telling me a little bit about yourself? I, unlike YOU, prefer to KNOW that the person I am speaking with is a fool before calling them such!_

_Best Wishes,_

_Medusa_

Feeling a sense of grim satisfaction, Lily capped her quill with a flourish before making the long trek up the owlery. 'Take that, Toerag!'

**Author's Note: **I'm aiming for a very balanced fic this time, so expect almost zero bashing of James Potter...beyond what canon gives us.

I forgot to mention this in the first edition, but I'd like to think _duj _for something I can't mention lest I spoil the plot.

_This was all betaed by Anachronistic Anglophile._


	2. Challenges Met

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 2**

**Challenges Met**

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

After sending the letter, Lily wanted to smack herself for her foolishness; she was supposed to be trying to persuade him to be civil and polite, so that they might actually be able to get along, _not_ aggravating the boy. She had probably guaranteed a truly awful 'relationship' for the time they were pen-pals together, and she had _eight _more letters to write, minimum!

She might not care much for the infuriating brat that her pen-pal was, but she didn't bloody want to send eight more letters forced to someone who hated her!

However, as worried as Lily was about her thrice-cursed temper, that didn't mean that she could afford to slack off in Potions class, especially after she considered her present circumstances...and Potions partners.

One of the things she hadn't counted on happening in her sixth year was the massive drop in the number of fellow classmates. Although Slughorn was a fairly lenient instructor and only required an 'Exceeds Expectations' to continue on into N.E.W.T.-level courses, a great many students either disliked the field or simply did not have the required proficiency. As such, her choices in Potions partners had been drastically limited by the fact that her former best friend had betrayed her, and the majority of her other friends just didn't have the skills or inclination to go on to the upper level.

This meant that her options were limited to the snooty Ravenclaw group, the Slytherin group containing a mix of traitorous best friends and pureblood-fanatics...or James Potter and Sirius Black. After a _great_ _deal _of thought, Lily had had no choice but to accept the latter, as there were really no other options; the Ravenclaws had refused to admit her, preferring the class' solitary Hufflepuff...and she didn't want to talk to the Slytherins any more than necessary.

Surprisingly, it hadn't been that bad, as the two boys had seemed to restrain themselves in the presence of a prefect. Nonetheless, when the opportunity to get away and grab some ingredients from the cupboard presented itself, she took it gladly. She was currently scouring the student cupboard for the last batch of dried figs, a surprisingly normal ingredient in today's particular potion, Vials of Vanishing. 'OK, where is it...? Found it! Yes!'

A quiet cough from over her shoulder interrupted Lily's small moment of jubilation.

Turning around, she saw that Severus Snape was standing right behind her, thin and pale as he ever. He didn't look at her, only muttering in a neutral tone, as if speaking to someone he had only the barest of acquaintanceships with, "I need to get some dried figs; could you please move?"

Nodding, Lily walked past him, returning to her table. As Severus came back a few minutes later, he didn't even glance at her, instead turning and talking with the only Slytherin who had made it to the N.E.W.T.-level apart from him, Arcturus Mulciber. Turning away, Lily shook her head and sighed as she began to prepare the new ingredients. 'So much for friends forever...'

* * *

It was later that same day that Lily received Perseus' reply, and quite an interesting response it was. Apparently, Perseus didn't mind her insults nearly as much as she thought...

_Medusa,_

_I shall respond to your civility (or lack thereof) in kind, worry not._

_Very well, you have made your point. Clearly, you must be a genius simply because of passing a few simple tests, so you will not mind it if I give you a more complex one. On the back of this sheet of parchment, there is a recipe for a potion; your task is to figure out what potion it is, and what is wrong with the recipe. _

_If you are really as intelligent as you seem to think you are, then this shouldn't be TOO difficult of a task. If you aren't...then you are truly as big a dunderhead as I thought you were from the moment I laid eyes on your insipidly-perky essay. This, for the record, is where I base my judgment that you are an overly-pretentious, likely-witless, DEFINITELY-aggravating twit!_

_In regards to blood-purity...will my calling you a 'Mudblood' get you to leave me alone? If so, then I am most assuredly a blood-purity fanatic. If not however, I have no particular personal interest in purebloods and Muggleborns and whatever else my dormmates are obsessed with. After all, one of the biggest, most ANNOYING, most disgustingly arrogant wankers I have ever had the displeasure to provoke is a pureblood, as are all of his cronies! The idea of blood-purity equaling intelligence and superiority dies a most painful death at the sight of those moronic knuckle-draggers!_

_A little about me... I am intelligent (A claim that most cannot aspire to), well-read and a half-blood. I happen to enjoy both Defence Against the Dark Arts and the Dark Arts themselves, and I am a true prodigy in Potions. Additionally, I will admit to being quite the fan of Quidditch, even if the players are generally arrogant fools--a grave pity for the sport, one can be sure._

_Medusa, once you have proven what a dunderhead you truly are, let me know._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus _

As promised, there was a recipe written on the back of the parchment; it was a fairly simple boil-cure potion, one that Lily had made a half-dozen times before in class and easily recognized...and there wasn't the smallest error on it. Lily double-checked the book in which she had found the recipe, feeling sure that she must have missed something, but there wasn't the tiniest mistake in it. It was obvious that the list of ingredients was correct, and that was the problem.

Perseus was clearly engaging in a bit of trickery, something that she had a _lot _of experience in recognizing from her encounters with the Marauders and her former friendship with Severus; there had to be something that she was missing.

Suspecting that the recipe might be one that was actually a modified recipe for a different potion, Lily went to the one person who knew more than anyone in regards to how many different varieties of potions there were: Professor Horace Slughorn. After buttering him up a bit and making it clear that this had nothing to do with her coursework, she asked him.

Unfortunately, Slughorn's advice was of little help to her, as the only potion which had a reasonable combination including even _most_ of the ingredients was the very potion they were a recipe for.

This left Lily rather stumped; while she could send the recipe back as is and tell Perseus it was correct without any changes, such a simple trick as sending her an already-correct recipe seemed...too basic for someone as brilliant and arrogant as her pen-pal.

There had to be a trick to it, one that she was missing.

Laying back on her four-poster, Lily mused aloud, glad for the fact that she was alone, "Alright, there's clearly no errors with the recipe, but his letter implies that there is something wrong with it... What am I not getting?"

Unfortunately, her head seemed filled of yesterday's porridge, with nothing she thought of making sense. Frowning, Lily muttered in a quiet whisper, glancing around guiltily as she did so, "OK, what would Severus have said about the recipe?"

Almost unbidden, an image of her prat of a former best friend appeared in her mind's eye: glaring angrily at their textbooks, the sardonic teen ranted loudly about their moronic teachers and whatever nutcases had come up with the recipes, as almost ALL of them were riddled with errors. A slight smile played across her face at the memory, but Lily soon shook her head to clear it. Thinking of the good memories would remind her of the not-so-good ones...

It was best to remember her friend as what he was rather than what he had become.

Still, it had given her the clue she needed; while the recipe would _work_, that didn't mean that there was nothing wrong with it. After going through_ her _old Potions textbook, Lily found her upgraded recipe quickly enough. Severus wasn't the only one who improved recipes after all.

Lily frowned though as she looked over the letter again; she had been too focused on the test that Perseus had prepared for her to really pay much attention to some parts of his note. Her lip curled in distaste as she read about his interest in the Dark arts. 'Disgusting, how can anyone have any real interest in spells designed solely to hurt, maim and destroy?"

Still, she tried to keep her distaste of such things from coloring her response, writing:

_Dear Perseus,_

_While the recipe you gave me is technically the one listed in our textbook for a boil-cure potion, the recipe is actually flawed; it should include an extra clockwise stir every five and the lentils should be sliced finely, not crushed into paste. That is the 'error' in the original recipe that you were referring to. Although the original recipe would make the potion, the changes I suggested would make the potion better._

_Or, in all of your oh-so-great cleverness, did you miss these additions? _

_You know what? I think that I shall take great pride in proving myself the most aggravating girl that you will ever have the misfortune of encountering, Perseus. And for the record, my essay was NOT insipidly-perky; it was a NORMAL essay! And from what I have seen of your personality, you are a tremendously-huge PRAT, and someone that I will very much enjoy never having the displeasure of meeting!_

_Nonetheless...in spite of your impressively-AWFUL disposition, you seem to at least have some good qualities. I am glad to see that you know that the pureblood-superiority stuff is pure bunk, something which far too many of the people I know seem to not understand. _

_However, I fail to understand how someone who claims intelligence like you do could possibly have any interest in something so...brutal and vicious as the Dark Arts! Please explain to me what there is to gain by killing someone, torturing them or maiming them! It's almost always possible to end conflict without fighting, so why learn how to kill people? Why not learn how to defeat someone without killing, so at least no-one dies if fighting can be prevented? You're only causing MORE death, MORE destruction and MORE shattered lives by using Dark Magic!_

_It...it's just evil, and the world would be a better place if people didn't learn it. There would be fewer deaths and fewer killings...so explain to me something. Explain to me how, for someone who says they are so smart, you can be so incredibly STUPID!_

_No, never mind, I don't even know how you can justify this!_

_Best wishes, _

_Medusa_

After glancing her letter over for mistakes once more, Lily tucked it into her blouse, then took another long walk up to the owlery...

* * *

It wasn't until two weeks later that Lily received Perseus' response, and looking back it proved the beginning of a change in their relationship. However, the night it arrived also marked another turning point for the girl, one that led to a change in how she felt about a certain James Potter...

Although they already spent about nine months out of the year cloistered together in the same dorm, that night Sabrina Percival decided to throw a sleepover for the Gryffindor sixth-year girls. Of course, given that there was only the three of them--Lily, Sabrina and Mary Macdonald--it was a rather small get-together.

They were all wearing their normal pajamas, although it wasn't quite time to turn in yet. At first, they chatted together about schoolwork and what each of them had done lately, gossiping a bit as well, but then they moved onto the most interesting topic: boys.

"Well, how has your love life been lately, Mah-rie-ah?" giggled Sabrina as she raised a mischievous eyebrow at her best friend. "I mean, last you spoke, you were thinking of getting together with one of the Marauders..."

Mary glared at her fellow Gryffindor, apparently not enjoying Sabrina's recent nickname for her, 'Maria'. Her voice icy, she replied, "Is it really be so hard to get my name right, Sah-brie-nah?" Tossing her long brown hair over her shoulders, Mary shook her head. "As for me and Remus...not going to happen; he talks a good game, but when it comes down to it, he chickens out. I just don't like hypocrites, not as boyfriends anyway..." She then smirked at the blond sitting across from her. "You're OK though, Sabrina."

"Why thank you...I think..." trailed off the particularly well-known gossip. Giggling, she stretched her arms, grinning as she spoke, "Well, that's a shame; between the two of us, that would have been half the Marauders...unless you're moving onto Sirius, of course-"

"I'd kill him first." said Mary matter-of-factly. "If I was 'moving on' to anyone, it would probably have to be that nice Ravenclaw, Broderick Bode. The men of our house are just too...Gryffindory for my tastes."

"Oh well," Sabrina shrugged. Mary's complete lack of interest in most Gryffindors had grown rather legendary amongst the males of their house, making her ironically one of the most frequently asked out, as many of the boys were interested in being the one to 'reclaim her'. Turning to Lily, she asked with another mischievous giggle, "So, I notice that you haven't been quite as resisting of the 'legendary Mr. Potter' of late. Should I be expecting to see you with him next Hogsmeade?"

Lily shuddered at the thought, shaking her head in order to clear it of any thoughts of the arrogant jerk, James Potter. "Ugh, no, not in a million years. He may be kinda cute, but he's _sooo_ arrogant, and he's nothing more than a bully. When I said last year how I'd rather go out with the giant squid, I really meant it!"

Sabrina frowned in annoyance, likely because of her well-known crush on James. Crossing her arms, her face went slightly pink as she retorted, "At least he's far better than that Snape boy; I can't believe that you took so long to give him the ol' heave-ho! I mean, it was obvious what he was doing from third year!"

Lily's gaze turned positively frosty as she glared at the girl, who seemed to realize that she had overstepped her boundaries, to her credit. "What happened between me and Severus is none, absolutely NONE of your bloody business! So do make sure that you-"

The sound of something hard striking the window to their room interrupted the conversation. Rushing over to the window, Lily saw the tawny brown owl that she had grown to associate with Perseus flapping its wings outside, seeming to glare at her.

Opening the window, Lily allowed the bird to swoop in, and she swiftly removed the letter from its leg and allowed it to depart. As the other two girls looked at her curiously, she began to read:

_Medusa,_

_I suppose that your mastery of Potions might be...passable._

_Do not worry; you have no need to prove that you are the most aggravating chit I have ever had the displeasure of 'encountering'. YOU ALREADY ARE! And yes, your essay was so insipidly happy that it made me bloody nauseous; it would make the aged fleas on this owl's bum die from its sheer sugary-sweet inanity! _

_However, I will agree with you in one fact; I take vast pleasure in knowing that we shall never meet. Thank MERLIN!_

_In regards to your comments on my political beliefs, not being supportive of the blood-purity concept is not a popular opinion to announce among my peers. This is another reason I am appreciative of the fact that we shall never actually meet._

_I am gleeful to point out though that you have just proven that I was half-right about you; while you are apparently not a dunderhead, you are clearly an overly-pretentious, goody-two-shoes of a little girl who enjoys burying her head in about an entire Quidditch pitch's worth of sand!_

_Even if you are so PERFECT that you never entertain the idea of making someone you hate suffer--something which I really doubt-- you must at least consider this: how do you TRULY defend yourself from the Dark Arts without actually understanding them? DADA is nice and all, but how can one comprehend the more advanced Dark curses and hexes without understanding how they work? It would be comparable to crossing the Channel without a boat, and without the ability to swim! _

_I'll admit that I've used a few Dark spells on my enemies in my time here at my academic institution; even if you disagree with using them though, how can you ignore the simple fact that unless one knows what they are dealing with, it is frequently impossible to defend against non-standard Dark Magic!? I myself have crafted two spells of the Dark variety, and without knowledge of how they work, I doubt that those fools I mentioned in my previous letter could possibly undo them._

_As for more deaths and killings... Please, there will ALWAYS be deaths and killings; it's human nature to be willing to kill if something is very important to us, whether it be for something as important as a worthy cause or something as simple as a grudge. People will kill each other again and again, Dark Magic or no. So I'd rather be the one with Dark Magic to defend myself!_

_Now, if you'll excuse me, my dorm-mates are attempting to beg assistance of me. Until next time, annoying chit!_

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Unmoving as she sat on her bed, Lily looked at the letter in silence. After all the work she had done to complete his little test, he had barely rated her work as 'passable'! Everything else had been his usual barrage of insults, only altered in focus! 'What a...PRAT! I mean-'

"Wow, I think Lily's finally found someone even more unpleasant than Snape," interrupted the mirthful voice of Sabrina. Turning, Lily saw that the two other Gryffindor girls had snuck up behind her and were reading over her shoulder. "I think that whatever dark spirit selected your name to be his pen-pal must truly hate you. What do you think, Maria?"

Mary didn't reply, her eyes busily roving over the letter, but then she gave a dark smile that gave Lily the chills to behold. Walking back over to her four-poster, Mary finally spoke, "Actually, I think that it's rather a shame that we won't get a chance to meet this boy; he seems...interesting." Chuckling, she then slipped under the covers, enjoying her friend's gobsmacked faces. "I'm going to bed now, so 'good night'. Make sure that you let me know if he ever asks you to meet him, Lily."

Mary turned away, a small smile still on her face. Meanwhile, Sabrina turned to Lily and shook her head. "Positively mental, that girl is. I still don't know why we're friends..."

Realizing that it was getting late, Lily got into bed as well, covering herself with the warm comforter her family had bought her over the summer. She'd deal with the letter in the morning.

She was getting ready to nod off when Sabrina spoke, her voice curious, "So, what are you going to do about Potter? He's really turned over a new leaf lately, you know. He's matured, I think, finally gotten a head on his shoulders for things other than just pranks and hexes."

Lily rolled her eyes, whispering in a voice only she could hear, "I'll believe it when I see it."

Soon, she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts untroubled by images of traitorous ex-best friends, immature yet handsome boys, or arrogant, maddening pen-pals...

**Author's Note: **At the moment, the story is fairly uncomplicated, but as is my wont, I'll probably be adding more than a few plot-twists and sub-plots. I can't stand simple stories=(

I'm trying to get into Lily's head in regards to her feelings toward Severus; while her feelings are a bit different from what is fact, that is something that should be expected IMO.

If Sabrina's actions seem confusing for a girl who is crushing on James...trust me, she has a reason, even if it's a pretty long-winded one.

For those of you who like some of my other work, I'm glad to say that I'm posting the next chapter of 'Cursed to Relive' tonight.


	3. Rants And Altercations

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 3**

**Rants And Altercations**

**_Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series._**

Because of the vast amount of homework piled on her by her sixth-year teachers, Lily couldn't muster the time to answer Perseus' letter for a few weeks. During the duration, a couple unusual events happened...or rather, didn't happen.

James Potter had been acting strange in the sense that he wasn't doing anything _too _annoying. He had stopped trying to obtain the record for the biggest prankster (or bully, in Lily's opinion), and he had been surprisingly attentive (if not quiet) in all of his classes, but particularly Potions class. He claimed to have matured a lot over the summer as a result of having to deal with Black's 'familial crisis', which was something that neither he nor the Black boy were willing to discuss.

Still, Lily knew that he would eventually crack; Potter might be able to play the 'mature' card for a few weeks, but Lily doubted that he would ever _really_ mature. It just wasn't in his character, from what she could tell.

Meanwhile, Severus had become fairly annoying himself. Oh, he wasn't going around and teasing her like Potter _always _did--heck, he hadn't even talked to her since their final argument at the end of last year--but he was driving her mad nonetheless. He had pretty much commandeered the Potions classroom for a series of 'projects', with Slughorn's permission. The aged professor was glad that Severus was making something of himself and had given him the ability to do whatever he wished.

The only problem was: this made avoiding Severus a more difficult task. In addition to the room, he had claimed many of the ingredients in said room for his work. Although Slughorn had told him to make sure that he left enough for their classwork, the difficulty was in the fact that Lily needed some of the ingredients for _her _projects.

Slughorn's response to Lily when she brought up the problem had been less than helpful:

_"It shouldn't be that difficult to come up with a compromise satisfactory to both of you, should it? Besides, the two of you really should talk out whatever's going on with you; you were thick as thieves for the past five years, yet this year you haven't spoken two sentences between each other. Really, did something happen that was truly that bad?"_

Slughorn did have a point about the ingredients, which Lily could admit with ease, but he couldn't understand what talking with Severus would be like for her. Talking to the boy at all was a chore, for she was constantly reminded in a painful manner of how Severus was no longer the beloved best friend that she remembered. Instead, he had become just another future-Death-Eater, out to conquer the world in Voldemort's name. As such, she had put off the conversation concerning the potions ingredients for the moment, instead ordering what she needed for her research by owl.

In the meantime, with her projects for the moment halted while she waited for said ingredients to arrive, Lily found herself with a bit of free time on her hands. As such, she decided to write that response to Perseus that she had been planning on sending.

_Dear Perseus,_

_If it is merely passable, then you must have seen and done a great deal of impressive Potions-work...haven't you? You CAN do better, can you not? Or are you just too COWARDLY to admit that I am the superior Potioneer!?_

_Alternatively, merely tell the truth and say that I am one of the best that you have ever seen...if admitting that you were wrong isn't too HARD for you._

_As for your housemates and their endorsement of You-Know-Who's disgusting ideals, if you don't agree with them, then do something about it! Stand up and declare that you don't support them and encourage those around you to do the same! After all, as one of our greatest Muggle Prime Ministers said, 'All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing'...or something of that nature._

_If you don't agree with them, show them that you don't agree! Don't just mention it in short letters to anonymous strangers; shout what you believe to the heavens! After all, if people like you don't, then maybe others will be coerced into following those scumbags! Imagine, you could be a leader... _

_Hmm, I'm getting carried away again, aren't I? Still, don't just complain to me about their foolishness; do something about it!_

_In regards to your interest in the dark arts, I have to ask: is it being a silly little girl to want less fighting in the world, less killing, less pain and less suffering? Is it really!?_

_Don't make excuses for what you are doing; all your reasons for using the Dark Arts may sound nice...but excuses are all that they are! You admit that you want to harm others, just for the sake of making them suffer! Don't try to cover it up with pleasant justifications. Just because we cannot stop **all** death and suffering in this world doesn't mean that we shouldn't do our small part to limit it._

_After all, you expressly stated that you have built two spells for the purposes of hurting others. Haven't you at least tried to make amends with them, haven't you perhaps tried to become friends instead of enemies? If you used the time you use for making Dark Magic to help others, then this world would be a far better place, I believe._

_At least consider my words._

Lily was trying to figure out if she should include anything else when a hand reached out from behind her. It grabbed the letter that she had been writing and pulled it away from her. Turning around furiously, she saw Potter there, a mischievous grin on his face.

Lily glared at him. "What is it, _Potter_? In case you haven't noticed, I'm busy with something...something that doesn't involve annoying Quidditch jocks! Like you!"

"Aw, that's a shame, Evans. We were hoping that you'd want to come outside with us; you know, come out for some sunlight, fresh air, and the like," said Potter with a laugh. He smirked as he held the letter just out of Lily's reach. "You shouldn't be spending _all day_ on your homework and stuff!"

Lily glowered at the aggravating prat. "That's not for homework, you lout; that's my letter to my pen-pal. You know, for the _assignment_ that the headmaster gave us, the one you've been _avoiding_!" Indeed, ever since Potter had found out that he had to actually write ten separate, _real_ letters (not just his planned one-line queries) to his assigned partner, Potter had been procrastinating. Lily didn't think that he had even written the person at all.

"I'll have you know," said Potter in a tone of condescension, "The person I've been assigned is a moronic twit of a girl who doesn't even like Quidditch. How could I possibly relate with her without a _great deal _of time to consider how to translate _cool_ into _Twit-ese_?" As he spoke, his eyes twinkled madly, indicating his enjoyment in teasing her.

Although it was horrible, insulting and immature, Lily had to suppress a snort of laughter at Potter's remark. Even more annoyed now by the fact that his rudeness had amused her, Lily glared hatefully at the boy. "The girl doesn't like Quidditch, eh? Clearly then, she must be some sort of sub-human... Oh wait, that's _you_."

Potter was about to reply when Black shouted to him, "Come on, Prongs, let's shove off already! We were supposed to be in the air five minutes ago. Stop flirting with your 'girlfriend'!"

"Whoops, got to go I guess. Make sure you have a kiss for me when you return, Evans!" said Potter jovially. He left the letter on the table Lily was sitting at, then walked away with a confidant strut, his laughter following him.

Furious, Lily continued to write:

_Speaking of IRKSOME companions bothering you, I'm forced to deal with this truly abominable, arrogant prat of a half-man! He never leaves me alone, and is COMPLETELY obsessed with me, even though I despise the lout; I wish he would just take a hint and leave me be! Just now he came waltzing into the Common Room and took this letter from me, refusing to allow me to write to you until he'd finished subjecting me to his own stupidity. Argh!_

_What's worse is how all my friends think that I should go and date the toerag, even though I can't stand him! And he's SOOO arrogant; he's like one of those Quidditch jocks you described...or worse, YOU! I wouldn't date him in a million years! _

_Do you have anyone like that you know? Someone who just refuses to take a hint and stop bothering you!? Merlin, it's so annoying! What would you do!? I can't 'dump' him, since we're not together, and EVERYONE I know is crazy about him, even the teachers!_

_Ugh, just thinking about him makes my skin crawl...but I'm sure you don't care about girl problems like that, do you, Perseus? _

_Whatever._

_Best Wishes,_

_Medusa_

Still angry, Lily stalked out of the common room; the owlery might be rather smelly, but at least it was somewhere else.

* * *

This time, Perseus responded very quickly to her letter; barely two days had passed before his reply arrived, whilst Lily was busily working on some of her Transfiguration homework.

Although she would never admit it, not to Perseus or anyone else she knew, she was starting to have some difficulties in the subject. While it had been one of the subjects she had passed, it wasn't one of her better ones, and the course had grown vastly more difficult this year. It was at the point that Lily was having some mild difficulties keeping up with her usual 'E' or 'O' average.

Presently, Lily was hard at work, attempting to transform a pincushion into a porcupine. While it was certainly a pointy little bugger now, the pins hadn't quite turned into spines, instead remaining metal.

It was quite aggravating. Lily was just beginning to consider giving up for the night when Perseus' owl flew in through the open window of her bedroom. Much like she imagined his owner would, the owl looked snootily down its beak at her as she removed the letter and gave it a treat.

After the tawny owl flew off, Lily sat down on her bed and began to read:

_Medusa,_

_I will admit my fellow students and teacher would be hard-pressed to compete with the quality of your work...not that such a thing is particularly impressive, considering most of them are complete dunderheads. Do you really need the acknowledgement of a complete stranger to be satisfied though, really?_

_I considered your proposal, however I then dismissed it as the most inanely naive set of ideas I have had the misfortune to overhear in years. Although I may disagree with the ideals my dorm-mates spout, that doesn't mean that I care enough to confront them in a useless philosophical battle; they wouldn't understand it anyway, nor would any such argument persuade them. Also, I have a use for them, in addition to what friendship they offer me._

_Unlike some people, I see little point in stirring up trouble for myself with no benefit._

_As for your comments on Dark Magic, I think that perhaps I could make use of your ideas after all; if my enemies hear your blithering cries for peace, then perhaps they would be halted by your sheer level of idealistic foolishness. Somehow, I doubt it though. _

_If one lacks weapons for war, then only their enemies will have them._

_I have no wish to continue discussing this topic, and will merely say that I believe that your naivety will get you killed one day. You would likely get involved in some silly Wizarding duel and die, simply because you have nothing to defend yourself with, knowing you._

_I consider this topic finished; if you wish to argue, please do so with the nearest wall, as only a wall would be able to match your stubbornness._

_In regards to irksome companions, there is unfortunately very little one can do about them given YOUR disposition, unless you would be willing to consider a hex or two. _

_No? That's a shame; a few good tongue-tying hexes would probably do wonders in getting him to shove off._

_Your best bet is to do as I do: expect nothing of him and never be disappointed. I've found that it works quite well when it comes to your truly-pathetic, idealistic nonsense. _

_Speaking of which, I have ZERO interest in hearing your blather about anyone, so next time ask SOMEONE ELSE for advice! _

_I can hardly wait for the day, seven letters from now, when I can finally bid a permanent farewell to you!_

_Sincerely, _

_Perseus_

Lily's eyebrows rose constantly as she read Perseus' letter, her lips pressing tightly together as she did so.

She was less than impressed by Perseus' back-handed compliment, but she was far more annoyed by what else he had written. He had not only insulted her, he had mocked the very ideas she tried to stand for. By saying that Muggleborns weren't worth fighting for, he was effectively saying that Lily and those like her weren't worth fighting for, that Voldemort's ideas of 'putting the Mudbloods in their place' weren't worth combating.

How could a person as intelligent as Perseus be so foolish when it came to the _truly_ important issues? Was he just an idiot...or worse, was he like Severus: pretending to be her friend, but secretly a traitorous Death Eater, just like _his _friends? Frightening thoughts filled her mind; Perseus liked Dark Magic just like Severus had, and he might just be pretending to object to them...

Lily's glare intensified as she started to write; she was going to give Perseus a piece of her mind, and persuade him to give up his foolishness, like she had failed to with Severus.

_Dear Perseus,_

_Oh sure...I'm sure that you really disagree with them…NOT! If you really disagreed with them, then how could you possibly consider them to be your friend!? You're probably just as disgusting a human being as they clearly are, you toerag!_

_Even if you were telling the truth though, have you even considered what you are doing by not standing up to them, you fool!? Have you considered what lies you are allowing them to perpetuate by letting those friends of yours spew their disgusting ideals to anyone around them!? By letting them go around like that, you've probably caused just as many vile, disgusting things to happen as they have. You make me SICK! You're nothing-_

"OUCH!"

Lily was interrupted by a sudden pain in her posterior. Leaping up, she saw that the porcupine that she had used to practice her transfiguration had apparently slipped away, and had just now impaled her bum with some of its needle-spines.

Cursing profusely, Lily transfigured the animal back into its prior form before returning to her letter. Unfortunately though, when she leapt up, she had apparently ripped it in two.

About to repair it with a simple spell, Lily paused, eyeing the letter thoughtfully. While it certainly got her thoughts across...perhaps it wasn't _quite _what she was looking for when it came to _persuasion_...

Tossing the letter in the nearby trash-bin, Lily picked up a fresh sheet of parchment and began to write...

* * *

Several weeks seemed to fly by in an instant. In what felt like mere days to Lily, cool October turned into icy November. That was far from the only change though, although the truly important changes seemed far more glacial to the Gryffindor girl than the weather.

She had exchanged a couple more letters with the mysterious Perseus Evans, mostly consisting of rants about how stupid the people around her were, especially since the 'get Lily and James together' brigade had only seemed to grow as time passed. It was nice having someone to talk to who didn't either hate her or want her in the sack with Potter.

Unfortunately, he had made it quite clear that the topics of Dark Magic and his refusing to stand up against those who supported the Death Eaters' ideals were completely off-limits. Any time Lily mentioned either of those two subjects, Perseus would simply not mention them in his replies.

That was a shame, as Lily had started to find the arrogant genius she spoke with to be rather...interesting. Sure, if she happened to encounter him in person, the two of them would probably hex each other senseless within minutes, in spite of the fact that she disliked fighting in general. Nonetheless, although he clearly didn't care much for her or her opinion, he did 'listen' to her rant and gave (sometimes-useful) advice, albeit with pointed requests to not bother him about her silly 'girl problems' in the future.

It was nice to have an outlet for dealing with the Marauders, that was for sure...

Speaking of James, he had maintained his 'maturity' plan for far longer than Lily had expected, and it was going on nearly two months now with no end in sight. Although Lily had asked around out of curiosity, none of the usual targets of his bullying had mentioned him attacking them, although there was still talk of his rivalry with a certain Slytherin going on. Lily didn't have the courage to ask that particular boy though.

Hell, she still had yet to confront Severus about his monopolizing of the Potions ingredients, as the monetary expense had been far easier to bear than talking to him...

Suddenly, the noise of cheering and clapping filled her ears, echoing down the stone halls.

Frowning, Lily strode toward where the sound was emanating from, the shouts slowly growing more and more audible as she did so. She felt a sinking feeling of disappointment as she heard the cheers, and knew who they were referring to...

"Get him, right in his oversized conker!"

"Yeah, show that wanker who the real man is!"

"Ooh, that had to hurt! Nice one, Potter!"

Breaking into a run, Lily quickly arrived on the scene. The first thing she saw was Potter, along with Black and Pettigrew, and the trio was surrounding a robed figure. All three of the Marauders had wide grins on their faces as they fired hexes at a wild-haired figure in the center. The robed figure struggled to defend himself against one of them, only to get hexed from behind by one of the others.

Meanwhile, a small crowd surrounded the fighting boys, consisting of all four houses. Most of them cheered the Marauders on, not one person even trying to stop the fight. Potter crowed as he hit the struggling boy with another hex, sending him crashing to the ground, his dark hair growing and attacking him until he was completely entangled in it.

"Alright there, _Snivellus_? That's what you get for hexing me! And look, I've even improved your hair for you!"

Lily, who had been in the process of opening her mouth to shout and put a stop to the madness, stopped in her tracks at the sound of Potter's taunt, feeling her throat deflating. It was _Severus _they were hexing?

Suddenly, Lily wasn't sure if she wanted to go out there. She knew she should stop this, but then she would probably have to speak to _him_. Maybe he would even call her the same word as last time, 'Mudblood'. She didn't know if she could take that...

Lily started to walk away, afraid of speaking with the boy who had betrayed her so...but then she stopped again. Was she going to allow this...travesty to go on, just because she was afraid of talking to some scumbag of a former friend? Was she going to just look away, doing _nothing_ like Lupin? 'No...I won't do nothing... I will never do _nothing_.'

Marching back in as Severus collapsed to the ground, twitching as the students around him laughed, Lily said in the cold tone of voice she had perfected in her time as a prefect, "_What do the three of you think you are doing_!? LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Potter whirled around, his expression a perfect example of the proverbial 'hand caught in the cookie jar'. Meanwhile, the rest of the Marauders blanched, but kept their eyes and wands focused on the battered Slytherin. The watchers seemed torn between leaving the scene and watching the drama unfold. Lily glared at them all.

Quickly setting a grin back on his face, Potter waved a hand at Severus and spoke in a jovial tone, "This isn't what it looks like, Evans. Honestly!"

"And what is it supposed to look like, Potter? Because to me, it certainly looks like you're attacking Severus Snape _again_, in a lovely bit of bullying," said Lily sarcastically, crossing her arms and marching up to the delinquent. "Or am I mistaken?"

"Yeah, but he started it!" growled her fellow Gryffindor, pointing at Severus as he did so. "He just up and hexed Peter in the back! I'm wasn't going to take him hexing my mates lying down. Sure, I might have gotten a little carried away, but it's his fault to begin with!"

Lily rolled her eyes at Potter's attempts to deny the blame once again. He had always done it in the past, so why not today? Clearly, he hadn't changed... "Sure Potter, sure... Now, for bullying, you and your 'mates' get five days of detention-"

The students around them interrupted with indignant shouts, at least the non-Slytherins did. The Slytherins had left the scene at some point without Lily's notice. All of the remaining witnesses started calling out in Potter's defense.

"Hey, he's telling the truth, Evans!"

"Yeah, I saw him hex that Pettigrew from behind, right as he was telling a joke about some witch in a bar!"

Frowning, Lily glanced at Severus, who had just then gotten up from where he was laid out on the floor. She _really _didn't want to speak to him, but... "Severus Snape, is this true?" The other students stopped speaking, seeming more interested in what the boy had to say for didn't even look at her, saying nothing. Lips thinning, Lily pressed on, "Is what Potter claiming true? Did you attack Peter Pettigrew first?" Severus didn't say anything to this, ignoring her completely. "_Is this true_!?"

As Severus once again failed to respond, dusting off his robes without even muttering a word in his defense, Lily found herself sighing. Finally, she said, "Very well, one day of detention to Severus Snape as well."

The indignant shouts broke out again, but Lily quelled them with one stamp of her foot and a heated glare. Her frown deepening, she said coolly, "Even if Severus Snape started the fight, Potter's actions clearly went far beyond the bounds of a simple schoolyard tussle. The punishment _will_ stand. Now, get going before I report the rest of you too!"

As the other students quickly fled the scene, Potter and his Marauders in the lead, Lily let out another sigh. Giving Severus one final look to see if he was all right, Lily said quietly, "I'd suggest going up to the Hospital Wing. Some of those hexes could be pretty painful..."

He didn't reply, instead limping off toward the dungeons, apparently not having any inclination of seeing Madam Pomfrey.

Shaking her head disgustedly, Lily started to walk away, only to be stopped by the sound of Severus' voice. In a flat, emotionless tone, the Slytherin boy said only one word:

"Thanks."

**Author's Note:** Unfortunately for Lily and Perseus, while Perseus might have some things in common with Severus, he has no inclination to treat Lily like Severus does. After all, they weren't childhood friends, nor was she his forever-and-ever love. And trust me when I say that it goes both ways.

For the record, those of you who might wonder why Lily didn't take any points... She can't, as she's only a prefect. It's only fanon where Prefects can take house points. Canonically, the only time Prefects had that right was when Umbridge gave that power to her Inquisitorial Squad. As such, detention was her only option.

Sorry for the long period between updates; I've had this chapter ready since mid-January, but I haven't been quite sure where to take the story afterward.

Suggestions would be appreciated. I'm still not sure quite where the story is going after all.

Remember, I'm trying to avoid pure bashing of any characters.


	4. A Wonderful Guy

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 4**

**A Wonderful Guy**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

After the bullying incident, as Lily had taken to calling it, things had been rather strained between herself and the so-called Marauders. Although the tension surprised her, Lily was really quite disappointed in Potter's actions. She had hoped that his 'great change' had been something more than a mere trick to get into her pants.

Lily was also furious with herself for how hopeful she had been as to Potter's change, and she took it all out on the boy/man who had deceived her so.

For the next several weeks, Lily refused to give James Potter so much as a hallway 'hullo', ignoring the pompous toerag completely whenever she happened to run into him. Even when he cornered her in the Gryffindor Common Room one day, begging for her forgiveness, Lily had given him nothing more than a single look of disgust before walking away. Afterward, he had finally taken the hint and started giving Lily the much-desired space she needed.

Still, it was more difficult to ignore James Potter than she expected. Her daily rejections of Potter had apparently become such a major part of her routine that it had Lily Evans rather out of sorts that he no longer disturbed her. What was worse, Gryffindor Tower had become much less of a refuge than usual, as her fellow Gryffindors had taken to giving her odd looks whenever they saw her. Lily Evans and James Potter's 'relationship' and arguments had always been a great source of entertainment, so now that the Quidditch captain was so woebegone lately, the blame had fallen on her.

Normally, Lily would have used this intra-house fallout as an opportunity to get ahead on her classwork, perhaps experimenting in potions or what-not. However, that idea was brought to a crashing halt by the other male that had been bothering her for the past months, even if it was by his absence rather than his presence: Severus Snape. Her plans to just buy the ingredients she needed for any experimentation had run into a few snags once she started needing more expensive and unusual reagents.

This presented a great problem for Lily, as Professor Slughorn was still determined to get the two former friends talking to one another again, and he refused to talk to Severus on her behalf, no matter how much she pleaded with him. Eventually, Lily had had little choice but to buckle down and talk to her traitorous ex-best-friend. That was why she was now standing in front of the Potions classroom, glaring at the door as multi-colored fumes slipped out from between the ancient entryway's cracks. Lily had no other option but to talk to Severus now.

Still, she had no intention of enjoying it.

Finally, with nothing better to do, Lily gave three knocks on the dungeon door before waiting for Severus to permit her entrance. As an experienced Potioneer herself, Lily knew better than to barge in on someone in the process of working on a recipe--the time that Petunia had nearly killed them all when she interrupted Lily right as she was about to add in sulfur had certainly taught her that lesson. As such, Lily soon found herself settling in to wait, as apparently Severus was right in the middle of something.

'Just great... My timing is clearly impeccable...' Lily felt a sudden wince rush through her as she remembered countless similar incidents before the great betrayal. When he was busy, Severus had a tendency of being hip-deep in the preparation of no less than five different potions. This was no exception. 'He hasn't changed in this, just in everything else...'

It was another five minutes before the door opened with a thud, while Severus Snape's voice made itself heard, speaking icily, "Whoever is there, you can come in now. Just don't bother me. I have more important things with which I am occupied at the moment."

Lily rolled her eyes as she stepped inside. For all that Severus complained about James Potter's arrogance, he certainly took himself far too seriously, especially since he had taken up with those _boys_. However, it was understandable why he was being so pig-headed, she supposed; Severus' pride was only eclipsed by his ability when it came to Potions-work.

'Shame that it's all going to be 'for the glory of the Dark Lord',' mused the annoyed redhead, idly watching her ex-best-friend as he flitted from cauldron to cauldron, stirring here and chopping there, just like he always had. 'I'd bet that Perseus bloke would be completely flummoxed with half of Severus' potions ideas.'

Severus seemed not to have realized her presence, as he blinked in surprise when he finally turned around and looked at her, several emotions flitting across his face. For a moment, Lily felt a strange urge to laugh at how nonplussed her former friend appeared to be, but the shock soon vanished from his face, leaving only a placid smoothness reminiscent of an undisturbed lake. Whatever emotions had lain there before were gone now.

Turning back to his cauldrons, Severus then asked in a flat, emotionless voice, "What do you want, Lily?"

For a fleeting instant, Lily found herself angered that she meant so little to her former friend that he was able to speak with so little care in his voice. She was about to call him out on his apparent indifference...but then she supposed that if she had _really _meant anything to him he wouldn't have called her _that _to begin with.

Swallowing as she reminded herself of the fact that Severus was no longer her friend and vice-versa, Lily instead said in a tone of forced calm, "You've been taking all of the extra ingredients for your experiments." As he looked at her in an inscrutable manner, Lily felt the need to clarify. "I need some of them for my own work you see..." She trailed off, the utter lack of emotion on Severus' face creating a situation far too surreal for her. Severus calmly watched her, not saying a word, even as she said in a near-whisper, "We should share..."

Several moments passed, then Severus said in a frank, neutral tone, "Just write down whatever ingredients you need on a list and put it by the door each week. I'll make sure to leave what you asked for. Is that fine?"

There were several things Lily Evans wanted to say, questions she wanted to ask the emotionless boy who had replaced her former friend:

_"Do you feel anything anymore, Severus?"_

_"Why do you act as if our friendship was nothing?"_

_"Can't you show some shred of remorse that it ended?"_

_"Did I mean nothing to you?"_

Instead, she merely said, "Uh...sure, that sounds fine."

"Good." Severus then turned back to his cauldrons, not sparing a backwards glance at her as he got back to work.

Strange feelings filling her, Lily fled.

* * *

Lily's situation wasn't made any easier when Perseus' owl arrived. As with last time, his owl ignored the normal rules of Hogwarts and entered her room via her window, scrabbling madly on the glass. Additionally, the owl left the present of its excrement right on the shoulder of Lily's shirt as it passed, hooting madly as it flew back out the window.

After the letter Perseus had sent prior to bullying incident, Lily had attempted to persuade her onerous pen-pal to her point of view about the Dark Arts...to little effect.

He was even more obstinate than Severus had ever been, refusing to agree with her in the slightest. Unfortunately, his refusals to agree with her were backed up with a form of twisted logic...but it was logic of the sort that Lily knew underlay every form of rank stupidity in the world, such as the Muggleborn prejudice of the Slytherins.

However, this time it appeared that Perseus irked by something else. He seemed more than slightly annoyed by her minor mentioning of Potter in her last couple of letters...

_Medusa,_

_I have long ago grown bored of your continual mention of this 'Fred' character. Henceforth, please forgo speaking of him when you feel the tiresome need to contact me. I have enough fools to deal with already, for your information. However, I will suggest that you deal best with him with a lovely dose of the 'Bat-Bogey' hex, as you are unwilling to use the Dark Arts in your foolishness._

_If you were willing to consider them though, might I recommend the 'Flesh-Rotting' jinx or even the 'Gender-Reversal' charm. A few days without male bits sounds like it might do the blighter a world of good. After all, he might just leave you alone if he's scared of turning into a girl._

_Of course, you are likely still far too stubborn about the non-use of 'Dark Magic', so you will probably ignore my suggestion thanks to your foolish principles._

_Regardless, I have better things to discuss, such as the FLAW in the boil-cure potion recipe you have sent me. Had you used the recipe you suggested, you would have been using an incorrect method, much as in those textbooks the Potions Professor burdens us with every year. Your recipe would be better off if you were doing the extra stir every five-AND-A-HALF stirs, not every FIVE stirs. It releases just a bit more oxygen, making it possible to finish the potion faster and with better coloration._

_If you still think that you are at my level of intelligence though, here is another recipe, for Blood-Replenishing Potion. See if you can correct it-_

Suddenly, the letter was broken by a streak of muddy, blurred wetness, through which the next several words were unable to be read. Lily tried to clean it up with a couple of simple cleaning charms, but that only threatened to tear apart the parchment. With no other choice, she let out a vehement swear, then continued to read.

_...I apologize for that. Unfortunately, I am forced to deal with my own band of miscreants, Porthos, Aramis and Athos. They are three pureblooded wastrels, who have everything paid for by mummy and daddy and are likely to never do a bit of work in their life, especially their arrogant leader, Porthos. (If you are a Muggleborn as you claim to be, you should recognize the novel from which the names of these three worms springs.)_

_Luckily, although I might have been outnumbered, I have the intelligence to use 'Dark Magic' when the situation calls for it. I managed to hex the third member of the group, a pathetic weakling who somehow possesses a small bit of charm (Athos), then keep them occupied until a teacher arrived. Had I limited myself to only 'Light Magic' spells, then I would surely have been defeated and humiliated, much as you would have been._

_On the other hand, if you were to get yourself killed, then I would be well shot of you... Perhaps it would be best for you to continue avoiding the use of 'Dark Magic' after all. If you must continue bothering me though, please at least consider the logic of having weapons to deal with criminals, much as Muggles claim to believe is the best way._

_Make sure you have the recipe for the Blood-Replenishing Potion corrected by this time next week, or prepare to admit your inferiority. I would prefer to receive Chocolate Frogs as my prize should I be proven, as I suspect, the more intelligent of the two of us. I am missing 'Morgana'._

There was a series of ink-blots on the paper, then the letter continued in a cramped, hurried sort of writing. It was as if the writer were saying something he felt that he ought not to.

_As for 'Fred', if you are truly so concerned about using 'Dark Magic' to deal with the fool, might I suggest the spell 'Rapsodia'. It is not Dark in nature, but it possesses the potential to be quite humiliating for the victim. To use it, it needs a wide flashing stroke of the wand, much like if one intended to cut the victim with a sword. _

_I will keep the effects of the spell to myself for the meantime, but trust me when I say that it would be quite hilarious to see him in action. Best of luck, annoying chit._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Lily pursed her lips as she read the last bit. She wasn't quite sure if she wanted to go so far as to resort to hexing to deal with Potter... but she had a strange feeling that Perseus might just be telling the truth. Also, she had never heard of the spell 'Rapsodia', so it was likely either a spell of Perseus' creation, Dark Magic, or something particularly obscure.

Either way, Lily wasn't sure she wanted to use it, but it would be something to keep in mind. She made a note to herself to thank Perseus for the spell if and when she used it; magic that was created by a person was frequently kept secret. She certainly remembered how Severus had tried to keep his spells secret, especially the battle spells.

Severus...apparently, she just couldn't avoid him today, not even in her most private of thoughts. 'Maybe it's because of how he keeps ignoring me,' thought the Gryffindor girl to herself with a scowl. 'I mean, sure our friendship is over and he betrayed me, but that doesn't mean that he has to act like it never happened!'

Her scowl deepening, Lily glared at the clock, before realizing with a jolt that she had almost missed dinner while pondering Perseus' letter. Quickly throwing on her robes, she rushed downstairs, hoping that perhaps in her lateness she had managed to avoid either Potter or Severus...

She wasn't successful.

* * *

As it turned out, Lily found reason to use the spell offered by the mysterious Perseus that very night. Not realizing that she had arrived in the Great Hall, Potter had gone on a long rant to his fellow Marauders, a rant that primarily consisted of him downplaying the current situation...and claiming that she had offered him the knickers off her very bum, then showed his friends a set of her laciest, white knickers as they rose to return to Gryffindor Tower.

Not knowing what to expect and more than slightly worried that she had used Dark Magic on her fellow Gryffindor, Lily was quite surprised with what the spell caused Potter to do: start dancing and burst into song. She didn't quite remember the name of the song, but given that it had Potter uncontrollably singing "I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy!", Lily didn't find herself minding much.

It was lucky for Potter that most of the Great Hall, including all of the Ravenclaws and Slytherins, had already emptied when he started singing the chorus. Sabrina had almost fallen over in shock though, and spent nearly half an hour trying to undo the jinx before the girl had finally found a counter. It had been bloody hilarious.

Still, Lily couldn't help but burst into a smile at the memory of Potter singing to her that he was in love with this 'wonderful guy'. He really was rather charming when he wasn't attempting to firmly lodge his foot in his mouth.

'It's a pity he's such a jerk most of the time,' mused Lily. 'If it weren't for that, he'd probably be quite a catch for some dunderhead of a girl. Shame really. Oh well, I'd best get back to my letter.'

It had been nearly a week since Perseus' letter and Lily was just now replying to it. Trying to improve upon the Blood-Replenishing Potion recipe he had sent her had proved more difficult than the girl had expected. It was only now that Lily had finally managed to improve it in a significant enough way that she felt ready to send it to the prat of a boy.

Lily found herself smirking. 'If it were anything less than perfect, he would happily rub my nose in it, but I'll bet he's never seen anything quite like this!'

Still, she pursed her lips as she wrote the letter. She had a feeling that she would need something more than merely a good recipe to get the boy to admit defeat in their little competition.

_Dear Perseus,_

_I must thank you greatly for your spell to deal with 'Fred'. It was positively BRILLIANT! I mean, he started singing and dancing on tables, something about being 'in love with a wonderful guy'! I'll bet that half the guys in the school think that he's a bloody POUF now! Normally, I'd feel more than a bit guilty, but he REALLY deserved it this time. He said that I'd...well, it was really bad, that's for sure._

_It's a shame that he's such a gigantic prat, as he's actually rather cute when he's not being a disgusting wanker. I wonder what causes people like that to be such prats... Oh well, you probably don't want to hear me talk about boys, do you?_

_Regardless, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! That was quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen, and I didn't need to use a whiff of Dark Magic either (Hint, hint)! Maybe if you used spells such as this, your problems with those 'Three Musketeers' (Of course I recognized the novel, you dunce! Still, nice comparison!) might just be a thing of the past. I mean, humiliation can be a much better motivator than pain for dealing with bullies like that..._

_Think about it: bullies love to embarrass people but hate it when their targets return the favor. Humiliate them badly enough and maybe they'll give up. It's worth a thought at least, don't you think? _

_Speaking of 'thoughts' and 'intelligence' though, I'm happy to inform you that I have improved the Blood-Replenishing Potion beyond recognition. The recipe is on the back of this sheet of parchment. As such, I have passed your challenge, and expect that you will admit that I'm just as smart as you. I would like-_

"He's not going to admit it, you know."

Lily whirled around, only to see Mary reading over her shoulder as she wrote the letter to Perseus. Her eyes narrowing in outrage at her privacy being invaded, Lily replied waspishly, "Do you _mind_?"

Mary, seeming not to care about Lily's anger, only shrugged and leaned against one of the nearby bedposts as she spoke, "If you expect him to admit you're as smart as he is, you're probably going to be waiting a very long time."

Curious in spite of her annoyance, Lily found herself asking, "And why would that be?"

Mary only chuckled. "'Perseus' sounds like one of those proud, stubborn types, kinda like James I suppose. He'll just keep asking you to correct potions recipes until you botch one up, then use that to declare his superiority. Besides, Morgana's a pretty rare card after all..."

"_You went through my stuff_!" shouted the redhead, enraged once more as she realized that Mary must have been snooping through her mail. How else would she have known that he needed Morgana's Chocolate Frog Card?

"Yeah." said the brunette unconcernedly. "He sounds pretty interesting; I'd love to meet him in person...if he didn't insult me of course." Shrugging as Lily stared at her, mouth agog, she then suggested, "Perhaps you should suggest that he do a similar correction, just to prove he's _your _equal, you know?"

"Get out, _now_!" Lily shouted in response, pushing the other girl away. "And don't touch my stuff again, you little...urgh!" Giving Mary a furious glare as the girl just chuckled in amusement before returning to her own four-poster, Lily let out a small half-scream of anger, "ARRGH!"

Making a mental note to try some more advanced warding spells for the next time her too-curious roommate wanted to spy on her correspondence, Lily returned to the letter, planning to finish and send it before the other girl went snooping again. However, after a moment's thought, she paused.

As much as Lily didn't want to admit it, Mary had a good point. She could just imagine Potter or Severus pulling something like her fellow Gryffindor had described. 'It could go on forever... Maybe I'll give Mary's idea a shot, just to see if it'll work.'

Nodding, Lily continued to write:

_...would like you to try a similar test, just to see if YOU are MY equal. Try the ol' Skele-Gro recipe and improve it, or admit that you are no match for ME! And I would happen to like a nice set of simple, golden earrings if I should win, so that I will be able to forever wear my reminder that 'I' am the superior Potioneer, you arrogant prat!_

_Still...I do thank you for the help you have given me with 'Fred'... Even if you are a moronic fool when it comes to issues of right and wrong and are a bit of a coward when it comes to your roommates...perhaps we could be friends? _

_In spite of how you act some of the time, you don't seem so bad._

_Best Wishes, _

_Medusa_

Nodding contentedly, Lily grabbed the letter in both hands, gave one last glare over at Mary, then left her bedroom to head off to the owlery. Luckily, she was able to avoid Potter, who was on a bit of a warpath in regards to her, not having quite forgiven her for the 'Singing Fool' hex as people had taken to calling it.

However, embarrassed people have a tendency to do rather stupid things, and Potter was no exception...

**Author's Note: **For those of you wondering what song Potter was singing, it was '(I'm in love with) a Wonderful Guy', from the South Pacific musical in 1949. Listen to it on Youtube and picture James Potter singing it. It's hilarious.

I'm going with a bit of a different approach for Severus than I usually do; I hope it proves interesting and In Character.

Sorry I haven't been replying to my reviews lately; things have been quite hectic and I caught the flu bug lately. Trust me when I say that I look carefully at each and every review, even if I haven't responded to them. Suggestions are much appreciated, although I think I might be out of the uncertain phase.


	5. Confrontations And Considerations

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 5**

**Confrontations and Considerations**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series or The Magician's Nephew.**

Given time to think, as two weeks later Perseus still hadn't responded, Lily started to realize that she _might _have been a _little_ too brusque in her letter to the boy. Perhaps she might have attempted a less...provocative message? Really, all she had been trying to do was thank the guy for his help in dealing with Potter, not hit him with a verbal beatdown.

Still, she had little time to worry right then, for Slughorn's class was about to begin in...actually, she was a tad early, come to think of it. Deciding to not spend _all _her time brooding, she glanced around for something interesting to distract her. Potter was there, which she supposed was interesting to see--he might be a pretty darn talented wizard, but he generally avoided arriving early unless needed--but not _exactly _what she had in mind. However, perhaps unavoidably, her eyes soon fell upon a figure seated in the back.

Severus was already there, alone at the desk typically shared between him and his _friends_. As was usual of late, he didn't even seem aware that she existed, either ignoring or not noticing the fact that Lily was now staring at him. Rather annoyed by this, Lily started glaring at the Slytherin boy, mentally daring him to show some form of reaction.

For the next several minutes, this state of affairs continued, until Slughorn finally arrived. The balding man looked around with his usual air of geniality until his gaze fell upon Severus' table. A frown on his face, he quickly strode over to the Slytherins, whereupon Lily suddenly realized that Mulciber still had yet to arrive, leaving Severus alone.

Slughorn spoke to Severus, his expression slowly changing from an annoyed frown to a rather _cunning_ sort of look when the younger Slytherin replied. Although Lily couldn't hear what he was saying, she started to feel a growing apprehension as the man gestured in her direction. At this, Severus' dark eyes followed Slughorn's gesture, fixing themselves heatedly on her for a moment before nodding to the pudgy man beside him.

Lily's sense of apprehension grew further as Slughorn walked over to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, the Potions professor spoke quietly to her. (She noted with frustration that Potter and Black were trying to lean-in so they could hear what he said.)

"Miss Evans, would it be too much of a trouble to sit with Mr. Snape this class? The potion we are working on recommends a minimum of two potioneers working on it at the same time, and if he lacks a partner he might be unable to complete the day's assignment."

Lily frowned. Like Slughorn, she knew perfectly well that Severus had probably found some way to do the potion on his own a long time ago, whichever potion it was... No, what Slughorn was really doing was trying to get her to sit with her former friend, something she _definitely _didn't want to do. Moreover, she was sure that Snape was equally unhappy with the idea...wasn't he? Glancing at Severus, her eyes widened as she realized that he was staring at her, eyes blank but focused. He seemed to be either attempting telepathy or else trying to read her response.

'Does he...want me to sit with him?' Lily asked herself, utterly confused. It didn't make sense; ever since his solitary apology, Severus hadn't shown any signs of wanting to continue their friendship, and instead he'd opted to ignore her completely.

"Miss Evans?"

Suddenly realizing she hadn't said anything in reply to Slughorn's question, Lily stuttered out, "Uh, s-sure. I guess that would be alright." Not looking at Severus, she quickly grabbed her things and slipped into the seat across from him. She didn't know what she was thinking, much less what _he_ was thinking. It wasn't like he cared about her anymore, and she would never forgive him for betraying her like he had, so why was she even there?

Genial once again, Slughorn then proceeded with the lesson, rubbing his hands together and pointing his wand at the blackboard. "Open your books to page 227. The potion we will be working on should be listed there, assuming that you have the most recent edition." He glanced over at Severus, before continuing with a wide smile, "If not, it should be on page 246."

Lily nodded, opening her book, then jerked back in shock; the potion they were going to be working on was Skele-Gro, ironically the very same potion that she had ordered Perseus to improve. Although an interesting coincidence, what really had Lily shocked was the fact that it was perfectly easy to brew the potion one one's own. Severus hadn't needed a partner in the slightest. Slughorn had _lied_!

While Lily was glaring daggers at her professor, Severus suddenly spoke in the same neutral tones that Lily had begun to utterly detest. "You know the ingredients, right? Go get them and I'll get started." He crouched low, carefully performing the normal pre-brewing check-ups, not hurrying through the process like Black and Potter usually did.

Lily, nodding, went off to get the ingredients, only to bump into Potter. Her fellow Gryffindor sent a glare in Severus' direction, to which Severus responded in kind, before asking Lily quietly, "Are you alright with..._him_?"

"Might I ask why you care?" Lily asked, surprised that it would matter to him after she had humiliated him so; sure, he had deserved it, but she doubted that Potter would see it that way.

He paused, then muttered with a red face, picking up his ingredients as he spoke, "I might be angry at you for being a right bint, but that doesn't mean I can't be worried about you, does it?"

Lily nodded slowly, before shrugging as she picked through the cupboard for her own ingredients. "Don't worry about him; Severus might be a prat, but I doubt he'd try to hurt me...at least, not in any way _you _need concern yourself with. Thank you for the thought though."

"You're welcome," Potter replied with a grin, before returning to his work-area while Lily did the same.

As she divided up the ingredients into nice, neat piles, Severus glanced them over, before asking quizzically, "Why didn't you...oh, I forgot." As Lily watched in confusion, Severus quickly slipped over to the Potions Lab and rummaged through it momentarily, before walking back with a small jar of Boomslang skin. Not saying anything, he picked out several pieces of the scale-covered skin and placed them on his portion of the table, whereupon he started to grind it up.

Lily tried to think of how Boomslang skin might be useful in Skele-Gro, running over what she knew of the animal and the exact properties of the skin, before grinning as she clapped her hand on Severus' shoulder and said exuberantly, "You're using the Boomslang skin to increase the regenerative capabilities, aren't you? Like how a snake sheds its skin and has a new one all ready. Nice one, Sev!"

Severus' eyes widened and he looked at Lily as if she had suddenly grown three heads, his mouth hanging open in shock. He worked his mouth for several seconds before finally saying in a dumbstricken voice, his face rather pink, "Uh...thanks, Lily?"

For a moment, Lily was confused by how shocked Severus seemed, then she remembered that they weren't supposed to be friends anymore. As such, Lily quickly returned to preparing her ingredients, no longer looking at the boy near her.

Without saying anything more to each other than _'please pass the knife' _and _'I'm putting in the Boomslang skin now'_, the two of them rapidly brewed the potion, Severus spending most of the time staring down at his ingredients while Lily did the same. She didn't really know what she should say to him; it wasn't like they were friends anymore, he having made sure of that, but she certainly didn't want to go on like this... 'Well, maybe if he did something to truly show he was sorry...that would be enough for me.'

Lily's mind idly slipped into a daydream, although she still kept doing her work as required. In this daydream, Severus, for whatever reason wearing robes of red and gold, came up to her carrying a (overly-large) bloody sword and a large bag. Upon reaching her, he said in a voice that reminded her of a medieval knight, _"Oh fairest Lily, I come bringing you all of the Death Eaters who I have slain in penance for my crimes. I most humbly beg for your forgiveness, although nothing I can do would even come close to that day of awful, terrible betrayal."_

After this, 'Lily' (dressed in a long, floor-trailing golden gown for some unfathomable reason) let out a girlish giggle and said_, "Oh, Severus, there is truly nothing to forgive. You have done far more than you need to in your quest for penance. Come, let us be friends again once more!" _

_"Why thank you, Lily, and might I say that you do look ravishing today." _replied Severus smoothly, offering her his hand in a courtly gesture, his hair seeming perfect for once.

_"Aw, you say the sweetest things, Sev." _'Lily' took his hand in her own, blushing prettily as she did so. _"Now, let's go and grab lunch; I'm positively famished!"_

_"Lily..._"

_"Yes, Sev?"_

"Um, Evans, you alright? You haven't moved for ten minutes."

"Err, yeah. I'm fine." Lily sat up, blinking as Potter whispered in her ear on the way to delivering his potion to Professor Slughorn. At a glance, she could tell that it was made...alright, but hadn't been heated properly. It would gain him an 'E' at best.

Lily was about to roll her eyes at Severus when she realized with a start that he had already walked up to Slughorn with their own sample and was now collecting his things and preparing to leave. Without even looking at her, he picked up his bookbag and started walking out the door. This was the last straw for Lily. Incensed by how he just kept _ignoring _her, she called out, "Hey, Severus, what the bloody hell do you think you are _doing_!"

In that infuriatingly-emotionless tone of voice, Severus replied, not looking at her, "I thought that I was heading toward my Transfiguration class. Was I mistaken?"

Although she knew he couldn't see her, Lily could glared at him furiously. "Well, I thought that you might want to talk, or at least say a bloody 'thank you' for being your partner!"

"Why? It's not like we're friends anymore. So why would it matter what I say?" said Severus smoothly, still not looking at her. "Still, if it means so much to you, thank you for your help, Lily. Can I go now?"

Lily exploded, dragging the Slytherin boy into a corner, she clenched her fists in rage. "Don't you even care that we aren't friends anymore, Severus! Did our friendship mean so little to you that you can just pretend that it never happened? Because I certainly can't!" Severus still said nothing, but he turned his head toward her, listening. "Severus, do you think I liked realizing that my best friend was a bloody traitorous scumbag? I never wanted to end it, and I still don't!"

"Then forgive me, Lily." said Severus quietly, his voice still seeming to be calm, but now with a quaver of emotion running through it. "If you don't want our friendship to be over, forgive me and be my friend again."

"I-I can't!" shouted Lily, glad that the classroom had emptied by now, as she was rapidly becoming hysterical. "I can't forgive you if you won't give up on being a Death Eater, I bloody can't! So if you aren't willing to do that, then I can't be friends with you, Severus. It's just that simple!"

There was silence in the empty room, as they both grappled with Lily's statement. Severus seemed deep in thought, his lips pursed tightly, although she couldn't see anything else. Meanwhile, Lily wondered desperately what Severus would say. The silence stretched on for several minutes, until finally Lily couldn't take it anymore. Tears starting to roll down her cheeks, she pleaded with Severus, "Please Severus, just forget those awful friends of yours, that Dark Magic you're obsessed with and those sodding Death Eaters and-and be my friend again... Please."

Severus turned, and although she couldn't see his face from the hair concealing it, she could make out one solitary, coal-black eye as he looked back at her. That eye seemed like it wished to cry, but was unable to make a single tear. His voice thick, Severus replied in a haunted, choked whisper, "Lily...I-I can't... I'm sorry, but I just can't do it."

And leaving Lily standing there, her face wet with tears, he left.

* * *

That night, Lily sent a message begging for help to the only person she knew who wouldn't react to the end of her friendship with Severus with a 'Good riddance'. It had been long and wordy, and the point of it had been _"What should I do? This was my best friend in the world; I don't want to let it end like this!"_.

Perseus was the only person, save for her father, who hadn't been against her and Severus' friendship--and she had spent the entire Summer telling all her friends and family that Severus was a fickle little traitor, so she doubted that her father would be in Severus' camp anymore. As such, it was to him she had gone for advice.

It wasn't for another two weeks though that Lily finally received her reply from Perseus, by which time she was actually packing her things to head home for the holidays.

_Medusa,_

_You are welcome to your opinions as to my ability, and I am quite enjoying thoughts of this 'Fred's' suffering. However, my Musketters are likely far more challenging than Fred, if only for the simple fact that you are a girl...and this Fred seems to fancy you. Hexing you would be counterproductive to his aims as, to put it crudely, he cannot get into your knickers without your consent. Or at least, he wouldn't be able to do so without a most lovely Azkaban sentence._

_In contrast, the three berks I deal with have no qualms nor sense of mercy when it comes to me; if I were to truly humiliate them, my suffering would only be increased when they paid me back. Pain is alright for them, possibly because they are too pig-headed to feel it, but humiliation... Victory in this battle is merely 'surviving' until the next day without major embarrassment._

_However, we have more important things to discuss than strategies for dealing with my rivals, things such as your demand that I 'prove my ability'! I have no need to prove myself to such an annoying chit, and I have no intention of putting my 'bravery' under your scrutiny, as I'd like to see you provoke your friends for something like that. I, unlike you, have better things to do with my time than fighting a thousand battles I'd prefer to avoid._

_The most important thing I would like to address though is your most recent letter. (Seriously, did your mind throw up on this letter? It has no focus at all.) Whoever this friend is, as well as whatever they have done (I cannot tell, for your letter is an abomination of English literature, and I cannot understand what you have written in the slightest), there is nothing left for you to do. As you said, you tried your best, and your best was not good enough._

_You will have no choice but to forget this friend and act as if he/she does not exist, for they have refused to agree to what you need for the friendship. Don't worry, if you try long and hard enough, eventually the pain will fade and seeing them will no longer hurt...or so I've been told. _

_Simply pretend that they don't exist and that you have never known them in the first place, and eventually it will be as if it were true. There is a famous story in Muggle literature about a man who, upon hearing the sounds of animals talking (in plain English) and told himself that he was only hearing the normal bestial noises, and eventually after trying to do this very hard that was all he could hear. If you pretend that you were never friends for long enough, then sooner or later it will prove to be the case._

_Really, what else can you do? _

_Best of luck, annoying chit! (And I honestly mean it this time.)_

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

_P.S. I have improved the Skele-Gro potion recipe as instructed; the superior recipe is on the back of the parchment. However, given our respective levels of ability, this competition might never end as the basic recipe is typically so easy to improve, so would it be acceptable to consider this a draw?_

Lily gazed down dimly at the letter before her, not even paying attention to her surroundings as she made her way onto the Hogwarts Express. even Perseus didn't think that she and Severus should be friends. His advice had been...well, what she had been trying to do since the end of O.W.L.s last year, and that hadn't been all that successful. But what else was there? She looked at Perseus' advice again and was struck with a sense of_ wrongness_, although she wasn't quite sure why. Like he said, she had done everything she could, hadn't she? _Hadn't she_?

There was nothing she could do; she couldn't be friends with someone who wanted to be a Death Eater, let alone the rest of that stuff, so why did it bother her so much?

Lily frowned as a thought struck her. 'Is there something that the two of us could compromise on? I haven't really tried that, as I can't accept Severus being a Death Eater...but what about the other stuff?' Lily bit her lip as she considered this, ignoring Potter as he tried to gain her attention from the entrance to the compartment, until he finally left her in peace. 'Would it really be that bad if he does Dark Magic, as long as he's not using it to hurt anyone? I mean, Perseus seems like an alright bloke, and he likes using Dark Magic too...'

Was it possible? Could she compromise with him? Lily didn't know, but she planned to find out. She owed it to Severus, to their friendship enough to try just a little bit harder. Maybe this would all be for naught, but she wasn't going to give up quite yet.

In the meantime, her letter to Perseus, sent from the traincar window, read:

_Dear Perseus,_

_I think that I'm going to try something else, but thank you for your help... I have to ask though, have you tried such advice before? Because it sounds right dodgy. I mean, if someone has been that good of a friend of yours, don't you at least owe it to them to see if there is something you can do to salvage it?_

_Your advice...it seems far too callous. Sure, there are some things that people might do to make them unforgivable, but I don't think that what my friend did was one of them. I'm going to give it another go I think, but again, thanks._

_Best Wishes,_

At this, Lily paused, smiling before she crossed her conclusion out and wrote in its place:

_Your Friend,_

_Medusa_

_P.S. I accept your draw._

* * *

The smile faded though when she read the back of Perseus' letter, as apparently Potter had gotten to it. She would recognize that overly-pretentious golden ink anywhere. Frowning with annoyance, as that had been where Perseus had put his improved Skele-Gro recipe, she read what he wrote:

_Evans, _

_I spelled this onto the back of this piece of paper to make sure you'd see it, if that's alright. I'm not tops at Transfiguration for nothing after all!_

_I can see that you're too busy to notice what I was trying to tell you (hard to believe, considering that it's me, but it happens), but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the knickers incident; it won't happen again. I still think that you were a right bint hexing me like that (That was really uncalled-for if you ask me), but I'd still like it if you would forgive me._

_James Potter_

At that, Lily rolled her eyes once more, but she couldn't help but chuckle at Potter's antics. He was rather funny, even if he was an arrogant prat.

That didn't mean that she would forgive him for erasing Perseus' recipe though, let alone for making her knickers an object of public debate.

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the month between postings!

I know that I claimed that James would be doing something stupid, but I never said it would be _really_ stupid. Sorry! (Or maybe I have something else in mind for our much beloved/hated Gryffindor... Mwa ha ha).

While I'm sure that some would disagree with Severus' actions and whether he is in character, I'm trying a rather different interpretation of him than I normally do, so I hope that it interests and ideally provokes thought. Suffice it to say, I'm doing my best to balance my dislike of James and my attempting to avoid character bashing. I do hope it's balanced.

_Anachronistic Anglophile betaed this work, so any spelling errors I will blame her for =). _


	6. Restarting Anew

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 6**

**Restarting Anew**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

As was usual ever since the first year of Hogwarts, Lily was welcomed home by her thrilled mother, her quietly-proud father and her disgusted sister. Her mother had greeted her with a huge hug and a heaping platter of Yorkshire Pudding, while her father had taken her into the sitting room and asked her all about how the school year had gone so far, tactfully not mentioning any Slytherin friends. For this, Lily was grateful, as she didn't want to talk to anyone until she had made up her mind as to what to do.

Of course, Petunia spent the whole time sulking, barely speaking to her at all. Lily wondered if things would ever change back to the way they were, when her sister had been her beloved 'Tuney'...but it seemed that her sister would never stop hating her. Other than Severus, her strained relationship with her sister was what she regretted most. However, it seemed that Petunia had no intention of changing...and as such, there was nothing she could do.

No, that was one difference between this year and previous years' Holiday Breaks: Severus wasn't there...

Lily shook her head, smiling at her father as he asked her how she was doing in Potions this term so far (_Very well, but the class isn't half as enjoyable as it was when...nevermind_) and if she had been holding up alright without them (_I miss you guys, but I'm alright_). Both knew that she was hurting, as even if Severus had hurt her horribly, he had been one of her very best friends for half her life, and she couldn't forget that so easily.

Sure, she could make new friends, and her sense of right and wrong just wouldn't stomach the idea of him being a supporter of Voldemort's ideals--Pureblood-supremacy and the oppression of all magic-users who happened to be Muggleborn--but that didn't mean that the loss of her friend wouldn't hur-

"Lily dear," her mother, Marigold Evans, suddenly said with a frown, pointing at the sitting room window. "Look out the window a moment, at the bushes. Do you see anything odd, or are my eyes playing tricks on me?"

Lily frowned too, then crept over to the window before peeking through the shades and looking out, trying to ignore the glare caused by the lamp-lights. "Hey, you're right! There's someone over there, crouched and stuff. I can't get a good look with the lights on though, mind turning them off?" As Lily's father, Richard Evans, turned off the lamp, Lily's eyes widened. "I-it's Severus!"

"Oh great," Petunia sulked, pursing her lips in annoyance. "What is _the freak _doing here?"

"He's not a freak!" Lily snapped automatically, watching Severus sitting there with a sense of fascination. It didn't make sense; Severus had ignored her for months, rejected her offer (admittedly a rather unfair one) and had shown no signs of changing his insane path whatsoever, so why the hell was he crouched outside her sitting room _window_!

"Should we call the police, Richard?" said Marigold worriedly, backing away from the window as if it were a bomb.

Richard Evans, a rather portly man, frowned as he glanced at Lily before turning his attention in direction of the window. "Hmm, I don't think so. Still, if he doesn't leave by tomorrow, then we'll reconsider. In the meantime, let's pretend he's not there."

Marigold's frown deepened as she stared questioningly at her husband, her lips pursed, but in the end she nodded. "Very well, Richard, but he'd better be gone by tomorrow. Or I'll see just what the police can do with underaged wizards."

Petunia protested, but the family returned to their meal, and enjoyed the evening as planned...although Lily was sure the presence of her former friend weighed on everybody's mind.

* * *

Finally, in spite of the fact that Severus still hadn't left his spot outside the window, the Evans family got ready for bed--after making sure to lock all the doors, just in case. Even though Severus had once been Lily's best friend, that didn't mean they were stupid. Soon, the sounds of her parents sleeping--her father's horrid snoring especially--echoed through the house, and Petunia's light had gone out ages ago.

Still, Lily couldn't sleep; she wasn't even sure she wanted to. Severus was out there...but what should she do about him? She had told Perseus that she wanted to compromise with him...but how far was she willing to go? How far would she go for her best friend?

Lily didn't know...but she knew that she couldn't stand there and do nothing. Getting out of bed, she quickly threw on a robe and slipped out of her room. Making her way to the back door, she sneaked outside.

The night was very cold, and every chill breeze seemed to slip through the holes of her bathrobe. Shivering, Lily crept around the side of the house, not wanting Severus to see her, not just yet. Even though she was being particularly quiet, it seemed as if every noise were magnified to the point that it seemed impossible that Severus couldn't hear her, and yet she managed to make her way over to the solitary oak tree beside the bushes without him showing any signs of noticing her. There, she crouched low and watched her former friend.

Severus was heavily bundled up, far more so than Lily herself, but she was sure that she could see frostbite on his fingers as he clenched what appeared to be a single, solitary pebble. He didn't say a word, only staring up at Lily's bedroom window with wide, fearful eyes. He had a single spot of blood coming from his lips, running down the corner of his mouth, which Lily realized was because he had bitten his lips so hard they bled.

Looking down at the pebble, Severus stared at the small grey piece of stone as he rolled it onto his palm. He seemed to consider something, something important, while Lily waited with bated breath, the freezing night air chilling her veins.

Suddenly, he spun around and made to throw the pebble...but it never left his hand, even as his arm swished through the cold night air. He tried again, but once more he still failed to let go of the small stone. A single tear started to trail out from his left eye, when finally he attempted to throw the pebble once with an anguished cry. This time, though, he let go of the rock, which hit her bedroom window with a low tapping noise that Lily was sure would have been quite a bit louder had she been in the silence of her room.

For a moment, there was quiet as Severus stared up at the window with a desperate terror, and Lily caught herself wondering if the girl in the window would open it, peeking out at the boy below. However, as she was down there with him, there was no opening of the window to reply like there had been in all the time they had been friends.

Severus' face seemed to shatter before her eyes, changing from terror-filled desperation to utter hopelessness as Lily watched him. Feeling something inside her breaking, Lily finally spoke up, tapping her friend on the shoulder as she quietly said his name.

As anyone, _anyone_ who knew Severus could have told Lily, surprising the boy was an idea of such rank stupidity that it was only surpassed by going into the Forbidden Forest blindfolded and wandless, or pulling Mrs. Norris' tail in Filch's presence. In an instant, Severus had whirled around, throwing her off of him as he trained his wand upon the redhead. Seeing who it was though, he blinked in surprise. "Lily? What are you doing...here?"

Lily took a deep breath, then swallowed once, before finally saying quietly, "I...I saw you earlier, and came down to see...what you wanted." She didn't know what else to say; she had planned on seeing if they could work out a compromise somehow when she saw him next...but she hadn't expected him to come _here_. Severus had never, at any point in their friendship, come home for the holidays; why should he have started now? "Uh, why are _you _here?"

At this, Severus' face seemed to deaden and all emotion rapidly fled from it, as if it had been sucked into some sort of black hole, leaving nothing behind but a much-loathed blandness. "I was just passing through the area. It was nothing. I'll be going now..." However, Severus did not move, instead staring at some point on the ground in front of his toes.

Silence stretched for several moments, Severus closing himself off again while Lily fought with herself, debating what to tell Severus. Did she want to become friends again? Definitely. But how much could she compromise? She could deal with the Dark Arts, maybe even his friends, but the Death Eate-

"-I wanted to say..." Severus spoke, interrupting Lily's thoughts as he gritted his teeth and said in a voice that seemed so haunted, so torn that Lily could easily see that it was probably the hardest thing the boy had ever done. "...I wanted to say that..." At this, his voice failed him, but he continued forcing out the words, "...that I accept your deal. I'll give up the Death Eaters...my friends...even Dark Magic..." His words then fell to a whisper. "Just promise me that you'll stay my friend...please?"

At this, Lily's eyes went wide; Severus had just agreed, agreed to _everything _she had asked for. Every last condition had been agreed to; there was nothing stopping them from being friends again, _nothing_! Even her friends in Gryffindor would be supportive of her now that Severus had just agreed to her terms; it was _perfect_! There hadn't even been the slightest need to compromise!

A smile on her face, Lily opened her mouth, about to tell Severus that it was a deal...when she saw the look on his face and stopped. His teeth were still gritted and his eyes screwed shut. His expression reminded her of someone who had been told that it was necessary to choose between the lives of their only child and their beloved pet dog. Sure, the person would always choose their child...but that haunted look... Lily couldn't say 'yes', not with him looking at her like that...

So instead, she looked away and quietly said, "Severus, I...you don't need to give up on your friends...or the Dark Arts." At this, Severus' eyes opened wide and he looked at her with something akin to worship, giving her the strength to continue. "Just promise me you won't act like those friends of yours, not in the slightest...and I guess I can look the other way with your adoration of Dark Magic. But most of all, swear to me that you will never, _never _become a Death Eater, alright?"

Severus, his eyes still wide as she watched him that cold winter's nice, nodded slowly. "I...I swear, I promise...just please promise you won't leave me... Promise me you won't forget me."

"Never, Severus...Never..."

**Author's Note:** I'll bet that that my readers, all six of them, are surprised to see Severus' sudden change of heart. Trust me, there's a good reason for it...I just can't tell you what it is, yet.

I will say though that I have you guys to thank for this chapter's rapid posting; things are going to be far from simple though, as things continue. The friendship might have been restored...but this story is far from over. Sorry the chapter is so short, but I didn't want to detract from the scene's power.

_This work has been betaed by the brilliant Anachronistic Anglophile. She says: 'Read my work or die, numbskulls! Mwa ha ha ha!'_


	7. Returning to Hogwarts

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 7**

**Returning to Hogwarts**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

Lily couldn't help but smile as she came downstairs for breakfast, quickly paying off the post-owls and thanking the ones sent by her friends before sitting down, lost in contentment at how last night had gone. Although she honestly would have preferred it if Severus had 'broken up with' those awful, Death-Eater-happy friends of his completely...she was alright with him being friends with them, as long as he didn't act like them.

For example, he couldn't call people 'Mudblood' (although come to think of it, she hadn't heard him say the word in a while) or hex people and use Dark Magic on them for the fun of it (she did _not _like bullies, no matter how handsome Potter was). If he didn't do stuff like that, then she could handle him hanging around with them, even if people like Avery and Mulciber gave her the creeps. Well, maybe he'd eventually wise up about them...maybe.

Breakfast at the Evans family home during the holidays was always a bright and cheerful affair, unless your name was Petunia, of course. Mum would prepare eggs while dad made rashers--a deliciously greasy, fatty stuff that Lily would never recommend to anyone trying to diet--and they would all talk to each other throughout the meal, with even Petunia sparing a few kind words for her sister. If she ever had a family, Lily wanted it to be like her own.

Suddenly, she heard the sounds of quiet knocking; Severus was at the door. Not wanting to get up, she called to him, "Come right in, Sev, the door's open!"

As he opened the door with his usual silence, Lily felt a sense of relief as she watched Severus slip into the kitchen, giving a characteristicly tentative wave. She couldn't help but to smile at this; while much had changed in the past several years, it was good to see that he hadn't changed half as much as he had seemed to at school... 'Maybe it was just because of those sodding friends of his...or perhaps the ruddy Death Eaters... Either way, I hope this lasts.'

However, Marigold frowned as she held the bowl of scrambled eggs, halted in mid-motion as she had been about to spoon some onto Lily's plate. Giving a quick look to her husband, who was frowning as well, she forced a smile and asked pleasantly, "Why, Severus, it's...good to see you again. How have you been?"

Severus gave Lily a strange look before turning and replying guardedly, "Uh...I've been alright I suppose, Mrs. Evans. I did well on my O.W.L.s..." He seemed about to say more, but instead trailed off, questioning eyes jumping from Marigold to Richard and back again.

Marigold nodded, serving up the eggs onto Lily's plate, then Severus', before returning to her seat. Lily was surprised at this, as her mother normally asked Severus a lot more questions, such as how things were going at his home (_"They're...alright, I suppose."_), whether he had been eating well (_"Mmhmm..."_) or what he planned to do when he got back to school (_"I'll think about it."_). Although Marigold's response to his answers was rarely more than a perfunctory nod, it had become almost a tradition for when Severus came over.

It seemed that Severus hadn't missed the lack of questioning either, as his eyes roved around slowly before finally returning to his plate in front of him. Slowly, he started to dig into his eggs, eating each bite swiftly, as if eating food were merely a necessary task that he needed to complete. His brow furrowed, and he flinched as her father dropped his knife with a muffled clang, reminding her of some small, scared animal readying itself to bolt for cover.

Hoping to pierce the dark cloud that had somehow fallen upon the table around them, Lily forced a smile and asked Severus with a nudge on the shoulder--a gesture that she usually avoided, as it seemed to scare him for some reason, "So, Sev, get any letters this morning? Mary sent me one, and so did Lupin. Anything good on your end?"

Severus gave one last look around the table, before returning his attention to her as he said slowly, "Lily..." His voice caught slightly as he said her name. "...I received a letter from Mulciber and...nevermind."

"Hmm?"

He shook his head, shrugging uncaringly. "It's nothing, just a letter from someone I don't particularly care for. I've got to respond to it though... Politeness and all."

Lily nodded, offering her best friend a smile, which he returned with a...well, a not-frown at least. Frankly, if Severus smiled a true, full-bodied smile, Lily would probably die in shock. Changing the subject, she asked, pointing a finger vaguely outside, "Want to go out and have some fun, Severus?"

He shrugged, but returned his attention to Lily's parents, saying distantly, "Thanks for the meal..."

As they left, Lily couldn't help but feel a sense of relief, as if the two of them had left a prison rather than a home...

* * *

The Holidays passed swiftly, much to Lily's disappointment; she had hoped to use the time available to spend more time with Severus, but her parents had been insistent that she spend Christmas with only family that year. It had saddened her greatly, but Severus had told her not to worry about it, hurt clearly festering in his eyes as he said, _"It's nothing; have fun with your family..."_

Afterward though, she had made sure that she spent every moment she could with him, as it wouldn't last when they got back to school. After all, she had her friends and he had his, and they didn't mix. He thought her friends looked down on him (which, to be quite honest, they did) and she knew that his friends were evil (which they were). Sure, she would try to spend time with him and he would do the same for her, but it was so _little _time in comparison to the summer months, barely a few hours every couple of days.

Lily hated it very much, but there was nothing that could be done...unless either Severus or her friends were willing to change.

In the meantime though, she had bags to bring in, as her mother had just gotten back from the grocery. Luckily, she had access to Severus' help as he had volunteered to assist her. As she grabbed as many bags as she could handle in one load, Lily started walking back inside, her thoughts focusing on how she wished that Severus and her friends might somehow get along...

'Maybe now that he's definitely not going to be a Death Eater, they might give him a chance. Unless he blows it by being a prat, of course. I'll have to warn him to be on his best behavior.'

However, Lily was distracted from her thoughts when she realized that one of the bags in her left hand was just a smidge out of position. It was rather uncomfortable for the girl, as the strap of the bag was digging itself into her shoulder.

Adjusting herself as she made her way to the front door, Lily quickly realized that she had accidentally overbalanced, and now the bags perched on her right arm were throwing her out of alignment. Swearing mentally, she tried to fix this, but she just _couldn't _quite reach. Knowing that she was about to have a spill if she did nothing, Lily looked around frantically for somewhere to set some of the bags down without having to bend over, which would have caused her to crash then and there.

Spying the metal chair on the porch outside the front door, Lily tried the best she could to hold everything together while she shuffled over, praying she could keep everything balanced long enough to reach the chair and set everything down.

However, it became obvious soon enough that she wouldn't make it, and would probably spill everything in trying...when suddenly, Severus took a couple of bags off of her left arm and strode to the door, holding it open without a word.

Lily him a quick grin and "Thanks, Sev!", to which he didn't respond, only nodding perfunctorily and following her inside without a word. Returning to the couch, where the two of them had been studying for the past several hours, Lily continued their conversation where it had left out before they went to get groceries from the car.

"So, Sev, what did _Mulciber_" (Lily spoke the name in utter distaste) "have to say in his letter? Any plans for something special?"

"Hmm..." Severus seemed to ponder, before finally replying, "He wanted to know if I could pass the time with him when we get back to Hogwarts; he has some Arithmancy homework due though, so it might be an issue, but why..." As Severus spoke, Lily's mother walked into the family room, and Severus stopped in mid-speech. After several seconds, he continued in a voice that cracked ever so slightly, "...why do you ask, Lily?"

Lily frowned at his strange behavior, but covered it up with a simple shrug, although she feared the worry in her voice gave away how important the coming topic was to her. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd be alright with spending the day with Sabrina and I when we get back. I know you don't like her...but maybe if you give her one more chance, it'll be worth it. Please, Severus, as my friend could you please do this?"

He didn't look at her, his eyes boring a hole in the threadbare couch beneath him, but in the end he said dully, "Very well, Lily, I'll 'try'..."

Although she could tell that Severus was less than enthusiastic...Lily still smiled; it was a start. Still, she asked curiously, "And what's up with my mum you think? She's been really odd lately."

For a moment, Severus stilled, but then he replied in an almost pleading tone, "We won't have much time this holiday; could we please not talk about our parents?"

Lily frowned, before shrugging. "I suppose that's alright, Sev..."

* * *

The last few days of the holidays continued much in the same vein as that one, with Severus coming over to the Evans' house to hang out pretty much from morning till dusk. Lily enjoyed this, but Severus seemed rather taciturn, even considering that their friendship was so recently patched up.

Soon enough though, they returned to Hogwarts, whereupon events continued in a fashion that was much closer to what Lily expected instead of what she hoped. She and Severus ended up spending much less time with each other, maybe four or five hours every couple of days, and only one or two of those outside of class. It was times like this that Lily wished that she and Severus traveled in the same social circles; it would make things _so _much easier.

Although Severus made a point to be...well, not friendly, but at least not mean...and though he began to spare a nod for Mary, Sabrina and Lily's other friends when he encountered them in the hallways, her friends didn't seem to notice. Or if they had noticed, they hadn't cared, something which was made very clear a couple of weeks in.

Then Potter and Severus apparently had a fight, although neither party was willing to talk about it; if it weren't for some of the bystanders mentioning it to her, Lily might never have known. Severus had always been reluctant to mention anything having to do with the Marauders, but Potter not bragging about it was new.

The only reaction to this from Sabrina and Mary had been "I hope that Potter wasn't hurt by that slimeball." and "Shame it couldn't have happened to Mulciber too..." respectively. Neither seemed willing to take the first step, albeit for different reasons: Sabrina was firmly on the side of the Marauders when it came to Severus, while Mary's hatred of Mulciber was legendary and anyone associated with him could justifiably drop dead, in her opinion.

For that, Lily could hardly blame Mary--he had humiliated her the year prior--but it was still quite a shame.

Even though the Death Eaters were no longer making things impossible for her and Severus, the other problems were still there. This was made obvious by the fact that when she had told her friends that Severus had no intention of being a Death Eater anymore, their reactions had been lukewarm at best. 'Of course, Severus _could _make a bigger effort too...but he already did something really big when he was willing to throw everything away for our friendship. I don't want to ask too much of him...'

Still, she was rather cheered up when she received a letter from Perseus. Sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, ignoring the chatter of the Marauders' fans as they asked them to do something, she began to read:

_Medusa,_

_I find it odd that you are so willing to compromise with someone who clearly won't do so with you when you are apparently INCAPABLE of considering the Dark Arts for more than merely spells of cruelty and torture. Although most of the spells that would fit that description are indeed Dark Magic, such as the Unforgivables, there are also Dark Spells and Arts that could be very easily used for the benefit of others...if you are so inclined, that is._

_I must admit, I find you incredibly perplexing. Why are you so willing to keep trying for someone who doesn't deserve it when your ideals are apparently unbending paragons of unthinking self-righteousness? Argh, you really are an annoying chit._

_For your sake, I hope he doesn't laugh at you, and that your attempts do work. Regardless, consider carefully what I am about to tell you, Ms. Stick-Up-Her-Butt._

_"The Dark Arts are known as such because they fall under two major categories: spells/artifacts based on dark emotions (hatred, anger, fear and what have you) and spells/artifacts designed expressly for the harm of other (non-Dark) beings. Although many things of Dark nature fall under both categories, not all do (Pg. 12, SoM)... _

_Many so-called Light wizards, such as Albus Dumbledore, Corus Crouch and even Godric Gryffindor himself have made a study of the Dark Arts, as even if one has no wish to use them, understanding how they work and how to counter them is considered of great importance to many (Pg. 52, SoM)..." _

_*SoM refers to Shadows of Magic (1947) by Charlus Potter, one of the great Aurors of our times._

_So you see? Even some of the greatest and brightest of wizards and witches believe that the Dark Arts are worthy of study, not solely scorn. I suggest giving Shadows of Magic a readthrough before simply dismissing the Dark Arts and Dark Magic as evil and vile._

_On an off-topic, how would you suggest that I get a friend to stop talking about something that really bothers me. I really don't want to talk about it to them (or you), as it would probably worry them unnecessarily and it's not really worth the trouble to talk about it, but I dislike them bringing it up. You see, I want to have them stop talking about it without me having to explain why._

_Any suggestions, annoying chit?_

_If it makes you feel better, if my friend doesn't stop talking about this, I will probably have a mild nervous breakdown, so consider it a public service (I know you'll just love that idea, won't you?)._

_Out of curiosity, how has the situation with 'Fred' been going? You didn't mention him in your last letter, and I'm rather curious to know what, if anything he has done since then. After all, if he's the thoughtless, insensitive bully you describe, it should be quite entertaining._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Lily frowned as she finished Perseus' letter, glad that the noise-level had diminshed. While she did feel a touch of concern about whatever it was the boy felt he had to hide, she didn't much appreciate much of the other contents of the message--although she did mentally file away the fact one of Potter's recent ancestors had apparently written a book advocating the study of Dark Magic.

She _certainly _didn't appreciate being called a Ms..._that_! Lily did not have any objects stuck in her posterior, and she hated how everyone, _everyone, _seemed to think she did just because she followed the rules.

Oh, Lily certainly enjoyed a bit of fun or a good prank as much as the next girl; it was just that the 'pranks' that the Marauders and their imitators pulled were more along the lines of senseless cruelty!

'Although, apart from Severus at least, Potter doesn't seem to have done anything particularly _foul _this term...' admitted Lily to herself, her frown deepening as she recalled that the Marauders _had _generally shaped up and could do an alright job lately of being normal students. '...although making my knickers an object of speculation is not something I appreciate!'

"Hey, Potter's back, and he brought food!" Shouts came from the door, where some of the Gryffindor boys had stationed themselves. Lily ignored them until she suddenly heard one of them shout, "And...ooh! It looks like he brought something else, _Firewhiskey_!"

Lily's eyes widened as she heard this; even if they _had _been old enough to drink the stuff, which the majority of those in the Common Room weren't, it was against the rules to bring any alcoholic beverages into Gryffindor Tower--although Butterbeers were tolerated sometimes, provided that no-one was caught. Firewhiskey though... "Hold it right there, Potter!" shouted the furious redhead, her prefect's badge gleaming on her chest.

"Why, Evans, here to join the party?" said Potter, a toothy grin on his lamentably-handsome face. "I brought plenty of food and Firewhiskey for the celebrations. Sirius is going to have a great deal of time celebrating his new home; he's been invited to stay at my place until he graduates, so let's give a cheer for Sirius!" The last he shouted loudly enough for all of Gryffindor tower to hear, and they responded exuberantly.

"Go Sirius!"

"Yeah! I heard Potter's place is _incredible_!"

"I'll even throw you a little...personal good-bye party, Sirius..."

Rolling her eyes as Sabrina not-too-subtly propositioned the other Gryffindor boy, Lily then gave Potter a stern look before saying coolly, "You know as well as I do what the rules are, Potter. No Firewhiskey, _period_! Show's over, people. If you want to celebrate, throw out the alcohol!"

At this, a storm of booing met her ears, but Lily stayed firm. She didn't like having to lay down the law, but rules were rules...weren't they?

However, James then put a hand on her shoulder and muttered in her ear, "Come on, Evans, just this once. I mean, the reason he's staying at our house is because his parents disowned him. Can't we let the rules slide this one time?"

Lily frowned, even as the other Gryffindors continued their catcalls and jeers, refusing to budge. However, Potter then whispered, "Please, Evans? It's just this once...and you really could do to loosen up a bit. Don't want to be a stick in the mud, do you?"

_"...Ms. Stick-Up-Her-Butt."_

With a final glare, Lily caved, mainly to prove Perseus and Potter wrong. "Alright, but just this once, ok! And if any of you lot get hangovers, it's your own bloody fault!" Grabbing a Firewhiskey, she shouted, "Here's to Black, even if he's a right prat!"

"_Hear, hear_!" shouted the crowd, as she took a giant swig of the drink, feeling it burn all the way down. For once, she would be just like everybody else...

But that was only the first mistake she would regret in the morning.

Kissing James Potter was the second.

**Author's Notes: **Some interesting thoughts that have come up for me lately in my looking up of canon: first, we never see Severus really complaining about James' treatment of him in canon per se, (to Lily or Harry) save for the werewolf incident when Harry asked directly. Instead, he complains about how James is basicaly an arrogant brute, in all the scenes that I can recall. Perhaps this was a partial cause of his actions in the Mudblood incident, as he was ashamed to have to show Lily that James was bullying him? Just an interesting thought.

Also, I wish to apologize that I have made what appears to be a canonical error: from my reading of the Wiki's and what I recall from the books, there is no mention of Lily Evans being a Prefect at any point in canon. Although popular in fanon--like James being an Auror, which is also incorrect--Lily was most likely not a Prefect during her fifth or sixth year.

Oh, and I'm sorry to say that based on my reviews, I was incorrect in saying that Prefects are unable to take house points--they just can't take them from other Prefects.

Regardless, thanks for reading, and I hope to get the next chapter of this and Cursed to Relive up quickly too.

I am considering changing the fic's rating to M and adding a bit of M-rated material to future chapters, although nothing REALLY explicit. Would any of you guys particularly dislike that?


	8. Of Kisses and Spoiled Porridge

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 8**

**Of Kisses and Spoiled Porridge**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

As Lily somewhat expected, most of Gryffindor failed to drink with any sort of moderation, leading to half of the house getting hangovers the following day.

McGonagall had been absolutely furious, especially at Lily; Lupin of course had mostly gotten off the hook because _everybody _knew that he couldn't stand up to his friends under any circumstances. She had gotten detention for a week and Gryffindor had lost nearly a hundred points from the fiasco.

Still, that had been but a minor problem when she considered the other things that had been going wrong ever since that night:

Firstly, Severus hadn't spoken to her for a full week, carefully avoiding her so thoroughly that Lily barely saw him during any of the classes they shared, and never during the rest of the day. Whenever she managed to get a peek of him though, before he was either whisked away or vanished on his own--she never could tell which it was-- Severus would give her this hopeless, tired sort of look. It was much like the same one he had been wearing ever since the holidays, but far more pronounced and pained-seeming.

Of course, Lily would have immediately tried to cheer him up and see if she could help him with his melancholy...if it weren't plainly obvious that Severus had no intention of speaking with her of his own free will. 'Sometimes I wonder how he gets so..._weird _about the oddest things. Why would a stupid, drunken kiss bother him so?'

And that led to the second problem: the infernal blush-and-stutter routine she was getting around James Potter ever since their kiss...a problem that was exacerbated by how _everyone _was discussing it, either to warn Lily off or congratulate her for finally getting on the happy train to perfect couple-dom that everyone could see in their future.

'I mean, it's not like I'd go singing his praises for a single, drunken kiss...even if it had tongue...and wasn't as err...awful as I'd expect from Potter.' thought Lily to herself with _another _irksome flushing of the cheeks as remembered Potter waving cheekily at her, an embarrassed grin on his face.

Lily tried to distract herself from thoughts of either of the two young men by thinking of the letter she had written to Perseus, even as she laid in wait for Severus in the Potions Classroom. She had exhausted most of her other ideas in trying to talk to him...although ambushing him in the loo was starting to become awfully tempting...

_Dear Perseus,_

_For your INFORMATION, me and my friend are doing just fine; we talked things over and agreed to a compromise, where he gave up some stuff and I forgave him. He's been being a bit silly for the past week, ever since a mild incident involving Fred, but once he gets past that we should be good._

_And I do NOT have a stick up my bum; in fact, it is quite bouncy and stick-free, and I have no intention of changing that! Just for your INFORMATION!_

_In regards to your points about SoM... It sounds nice, but what's the REAL difference between Defense Against the Dark Arts and actually studying the Dark Arts if you have no intention of using Dark Magic to begin with? I mean, if you don't want to use the Dark Arts, then why isn't DADA sufficient to protect oneself from them?_

_If there is no difference, then why do you need to know them other than to use them (and there are other spells for self-defence, before you go that route, oh arrogant one)?_

_I'm sure that you have a reason, but ask yourself: is it actually a good one?_

_As for your friend situation...it depends on what you don't want to talk to them about, but it's HIGHLY unlikely that it would be better to hide whatever it is from them rather than simply telling them why. Those sort of secrets can cause all kinds of damage to friendships, believe me. I mean, the resentment of not being trusted with that sort of thing alone... _

_Still, just to be sure, you can send me a letter telling me about it. If it truly is one of those things that are best left unrevealed, which I admittedly doubt, it's not like I'd be able to reveal it anyway. So, why not?_

_Unless you just don't like getting advice from silly, annoying chits. _

_And yes, the idea of doing a public service such as preventing your nervous breakdown is music to my ears. You know **exactly** the way to a girl's heart, don't you.  
_

_Fred...let's just say that the situation with him is complicated, and probably something you have no real interest in. He's still a bully, but he's stopped bullying MOST people, which is of course still not good enough._

_Regardless, I wish you luck in dealing with your friend situation, and wonder how your Potions studying is going--people like you and me don't just stop when we're done competing, do we?_

_Your friend, _

_Medusa_

Conveniently, the very moment she had finished her recollection of the letter, the door to the Potions Classroom opened. Severus slipped into the room. The same sad look laid upon his face as he went over to the cauldron he had apparently been using and started to work.

She barely suppressed a gasp as she saw him; Severus looked even more horrible than she had anticipated, vaguely resembled a zombie, having no light in his eyes nor energy in his movements. For once, his hollowed cheeks seemed to match his mood perfectly and his straggly hair seemed even more dirty and disheveled than usual. He was a wreck.

Quietly slipping from her position behind the door, Lily locked it before turning to Severus. She had abandoned her ideas for the confrontation she had been planning as she didn't have the heart, "Sev? Are you alright?"

He stopped almost in mid-motion, and a sudden thunk of wood crashing against stone made itself heard as the stirring spoon in Severus' hands fell from unmoving fingers. Lily couldn't see his face as he didn't turn, but a feeling of mute horror filled her chest as he spoke, "Hello, Lily, did you have some plans for Potions-work too? I can leave now, so I won't disturb you."

It wasn't that Severus' words were cruel, malicious or even angry. They weren't filled with hurt or pain...and yet Lily desperately wished that they were; instead, his words were perfectly calm, polite...and emotionless, just like in those dark days before they reunited over holidays.

It was as if Severus wanted to pretend that everything that made up their friendship had never happened, that it all meant nothing to him...that she meant nothing to him. For a moment, Lily felt like she had on that awful day he had called her a Mudblood, that day when he had shown that he'd rather be alone, suffering at the hands of the Marauders than have _her _help. For that moment, Lily felt once more as if she couldn't breath, stabbed in the back by someone she called friend and who clearly didn't care what damage he had caused her.

The moment passed. Lily remembered the desperate apology Severus had given to her that night, begging for her forgiveness. She remembered how he had shown himself willing to give up everything for the sake of their friendship when she had asked him to do so. She didn't know why he was acting the way he was now...but it certainly wasn't because their friendship meant nothing to him.

It didn't mean that the way he was acting didn't hurt though. Her voice pleading for him to listen to her and tell her what was wrong, Lily whispered, "Severus...don't act like this, please; I don't know what's the matter, but could you please tell me what's wrong?" She paused, seeing his back go rigid, then asked tentatively, "Is it...Potter? Because if it is, trust me when I say that I only kissed him because I was drunk."

Severus finally turned to look at her, and Lily had to suppress the urge to flinch as she saw the empty, frozen look in his dark eyes. It brought to mind the lake outside, frozen over and obscuring anything beneath it. His voice the same way as before, he spoke, his face blank, "Don't worry, Lily, I'm just fine."

"Sev-"

Severus didn't even seem to noice her interruption, his words washing over her own as if they didn't exist. "Really, it's not as if you have anything to be ashamed of with that kiss..." His face seemed to spasm for a moment, but then he continued. "Potter is handsome, wealthy and popular... Why wouldn't you want to go out with him? I don't mind really; I expected this to happen sooner or later..." He trailed off, his eyes seeming to stare into nothingness. "The timing just surprised me is all..."

Lily swallowed, feeling a terrible sense of guilt as she looked into Severus' empty eyes. Her own eyes started to water, and she walked closer to him, putting a hand on each of his wrists and holding them gently. "Severus...listen to me; I was just drunk. The kiss didn't mean anything. Besides..." She tried to lighten the conversation, saying in a teasing voice, "...do you really think that I'd go out with anyone who hurts my friends like that? What kind of girl do you think I am?"

Severus looked down at his arms, seeming almost surprised to see her hands placed where they were, then slowly pushed them away as he spoke. Although quiet, his words cut like knives through the teenage girl. "Just go date him and leave me alone, Lily. I don't need you...and you don't need me, not if you have him." He then laughed, a bitter, humorless laugh. "If you love somebody enough, you don't need anyone else, after all."

"_Love _him?" Lily was about to respond to the rest of his words, but that phrase jumped out, refusing to let her go without countering the misconceptions in it. A barking laugh escaped her as she stared straight into Severus' strange eyes. "Sev, aren't you listening? I only kissed the prat because I was bloody drunk! That's not love, that's a stupid mistake! Ideally, one which we could all forget about...but a mistake nonetheless!"

"Lily...I know you; you said...you promised to save your first kiss for someone you love...the same promise that I made..." replied Severus in in a quiet tone of voice, his hands held limply at his sides as he stared blankly at his feet. "Why would you let it go to someone you don't even care about for just a little bit of alcohol?"

"Severus!" Lily replied with a gasp, shocked at Severus' naivety. With a giggle on her lips, she shook her head in disbelief. "That's what this is about? A silly promise I made eight years ago, back when I thought that Walt Disney was God's word on romance! Merlin, Severus, do you really think that people wait until they're in love with someone before they have their first kiss? I mean, seriously..."

Ignoring Severus as he stared at her, mouth agape, she continued, "Besides, it's not like the act in itself means anything special, not unless the people involved make it so. I mean, it was just a stupid..." An image of Potter's lips sensuously caressing her own invaded her mind, causing her to pause, blushing momentarily. "...drunken kiss. Trust me, it meant nothing."

"I...suppose you might be right." Severus replied reluctantly, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. At least he had stopped with the 'nothing bothers me' act.

"Of course I am," said Lily briskly. A thought coming to her, Lily grinned at the boy in front of her. There was a simple way that she could do him a big favor _and _prove her point. As Severus looked at her in a confused manner, Lily poked him in the ribs, saying winsomely, "I've got an idea Sev. How would you like to kiss me?"

Perhaps it was just too weird for him, given that she was probably like the sister he had never had, but Severus' mouth fell open anew. His face turning a rather unattractive shade of red, he stuttered out, "You w-want to kiss m-me?"

"Sure, why not?" replied Lily with a shrug. "It'll be fun! Besides, it's not like it'll mean anything."

Severus gave her a strange look, seeming to consider her words. Finally, he swallowed and said in a very small tone of voice, "Alright, I'll do it."

However, he didn't move, merely staring at Lily while biting his lip.

She waited for nearly a minute, before saying, trying valiantly to keep from smirking, "Err...Sev, you gonna do something?"

His face turning an even brighter red, he snapped, "It's not like I've ever done it before. Give me a minute!" Taking a deep breath, he walked forward and pressed his lips to hers, closing his eyes as he did so.

'Hmm...not _too _bad for a first time I suppose...' evaluated Lily mentally, unable to stop herself. 'But his lips are really chapped, and he has no bloody idea of what to do with them. Still, he's doing it ardently enough that it makes up for it, at least to an extent. Still, pretty poor showing, all in all.' Nonetheless, Lily had to admit that Severus' lips felt pretty nice against her, even if his kissing skills were absolute crud. 'Still, he'll probably get much better with practice. And it does have a nice warm feeling to it I'll admit, kind of like being in a bubblebath in the Prefect's bathroom.'

Withdrawing after about twenty seconds, Lily smiled at Severus, who was looking rather dazed, his lips quirked into a small grin. "See? Nothing at all. No feelings of romance whatsoever, just a little bit of fun. And you got your first kiss, too! See why you're worrying too much about that prat, Potter?"

Taking a moment to collect himself, Severus' face returned to its normal (as of late), somewhat-grim state, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yeah...that was pretty fun..."

"In fact...How about we go celebrate next Hogsmeade weekend, just the two of us?" beamed Lily brightly, putting her arm around Severus' shoulder. "It's in a couple of weeks, and it would be nice for the two of us to go together for once, you know?"

"Err...celebrate?"

"Yup! You just had your first kiss, Sev. And it wasn't in some silly broom closet either!" replied the redhead with a chuckle and a wink. "If that's not worth celebrating, nothing is!"

"_Broom closet_!" shouted Severus, eyes wide with shock.

Lily frowned, remembering a particularly embarrassing incident involving a dunderhead a couple of years back, where the moron had elbowed her halfway through the liplock, causing her to nearly ralph on the guy. "Let's just say that there are lots better examples of romantic first kisses. " Giving her friend a small nudge, Lily winked again. "Hell, even kissing your best friend in the Potions classroom probably beats it, eh Sev?"

Severus' face flushed bright red, but he muttered, "It wasn't that bad...and I really wouldn't mind celebrating with you..."

"Great!" Lily felt like she wanted to whistle as she and Severus strode out of the classroom, since Severus seemed...well, not upbeat, but happier than he had been since before that disastrous O.W.L.s week. However, when she checked her wristwatch, she sighed, "Err, Sev, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to let you go for now. I dunno about you, but I've got class in ten minutes."

He nodded, still red, but gave her a small wave as she turned away and walked off.

* * *

And for the rest of the week, Severus seemed to have cheered up significantly, although for whatever reason he still seemed somewhat melancholy. Lily was starting to wonder if she had done something to hurt him...apart from that silly (if brilliant) kiss from Potter, but he had been acting weird even before that.

Still, all thoughts of Severus were temporarily put aside when she received Perseus' letter later that week, his owl having taken the opportunity to poop in her porridge as it dropped its letter in her lap. With everyone at the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables staring at and commenting on the poob-bombing bird (even Severus, she supposed idly) Lily flushed and began to read.

_Medusa,_

_I'm glad to hear that your rank foolishness hasn't bitten you in your 'bouncy behind'. Still, I suggest you watch it if you're dealing with such a Judas as you describe, that's all I'm saying._

_Good to hear that you're using your brain for thinking, rather than the mere spouting of silly slogans like most of the people who act like you. The REAL reason is that the Dark Arts change quickly, far faster than most DADA texts can keep up, making it foolish to base your defences on what you hear in school._

_Besides, in addition to simple self-defence, if one is shown to be dark and dangerous, it is possible to avoid some battles before they begin by the simple fact that one's opponents are too scared to fight. It doesn't work all the time, but would a warrior rather strike an armed warrior or a defenceless peon?_

_Perhaps you are right, but the secret won't harm my friend if it's kept to myself, and I'd hate to burden them with unnecessary pain. Especially since we've just been through a couple of rough patches before this..._

_Still, it's not like I'm going to have to keep sending letters to you much longer if things go pear-shaped, so it probably can't hurt... The secret is that my mother killed herself the day before school let out for the holidays. I don't want to bother my friend with this, as I think that I'm doing a fairly good job of handling it myself, but it would still be nice if they stopped mentioning their parents all the time. It's rather painful to hear about their happy parents, when mine chose to kill herself rather than continue on..._

_So, thoughts? _

_In regards to Potions, of course I am still working on them! What kind of dunderhead do you think I am, annoying chit! In fact, I should have some really good ones for you the next time I reply!  
_

_Hope you're making Fred's life hell. People never change, remember that._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

After reading that letter, first-kiss celebrations and pooping avians were the last thing on Lily's mind. A single tear trailing down her face, she whispered quietly, hugging herself tightly, "Perseus, poor, poor Perseus...I hope that you're alright...whoever you are..."

**Author's Note: **If you're wondering why I'm making Severus a sucky kisser...he's a first-timer who is as nervous as he can possibly be. Really, it wasn't going to go well, regardless of how skilled he may or may not become.

As for the hubbub about Lily not being a prefect and James not being an Auror...I don't know where it's mentioned in the book, but in the Harry Potter wiki they mention how James was able to keep Lupin afloat monetarily without having a job. In regards to Lily's needing to be prefect or quidditch captain to be Head Girl, I'm pretty sure that it's fanon that being a Prefect/Captain beforehand is required.

In regards to the M-rated material, I haven't decided quite yet, but if I include it it probably won't be anything really lemony, maybe limey at most.

Hope you enjoyed the result of my work, edited by the brilliant_ Anachronistic Anglophile_!


	9. A Friend in Need

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 9**

**A Friend in Need**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

Laying down in her four-poster later that night, tears rolling down her face, Lily hugged herself as she once again read the now-wrinkled letter. Some lines jumped out at her in particular, causing her to cry even harder and wonder if she could ever stop, lines such as '..._but the secret won't harm my friend if it's kept to myself, and I'd hate to burden them with unnecessary pain..._' and '..._I don't want to bother my friend with this, as I think that I'm doing a fairly good job of handling it myself...It's rather painful to hear about their happy parents, when mine chose to kill herself rather than continue on..._'

Lily tried to imagine someone she was close to, such as Severus, hiding that sort of pain out of fear that it would bother her. The very idea felt like a thousand knives stabbing her. She didn't want to consider the possibility that someone would feel like they couldn't count on her, that someone would think that she'd prefer it if they suffered alone.

With these thoughts running through her head, Lily wanted to scream at the boy for not going and getting help, leaving his friend to wonder why and how he was hurting...and at the same time hug him, telling her newfound friend that everything would be alright. For indeed, that was what Perseus had become, a valued friend even if it was through the medium of paper and quill rather than hugs and laughter. Helping him was just part of the call of duty, and she would help him as much as she possibly could, except...

...Except for the fact that Lily knew this was far out of her depth. Her biggest problems up until now had amounted to a six-month (or so) freeze on a childhood friendship while dealing with handsome, if annoying boys trying to woo her. She had no idea how to deal with something like _this_.

She needed help, badly. She needed to talk to someone who might be able to help her deal with this...but she wasn't sure who to ask.

Normally, Lily would go to her parents for stuff like this, but it might be weeks before she received a letter back from them...and Lily felt she needed the advice _soon_ if she wanted to help Perseus.

She considered telling Severus, but the thought of how miserable he seemed to be already stayed her tongue...and he wasn't really the guy that one would go to for solutions for emotional situations. Lily might lean on him for support, and perhaps mention it to him in the future, but she needed the advice from someone with the empathy that Severus frequently lacked.

'Hmm...perhaps Slughorn would be a good idea? He's always been very helpful to me when I needed it...' Lily considered, trying to find any holes in the idea. 'Still...he's a teacher; it might be difficult for him to be discrete. I'll have to make sure not to name names if I go to him...'

The door to the room opened and shut with a click, causing Lily to turn to see that Mary had entered, dusting off her robes as her gaze fell onto the tear-covered redhead. Her eyes seemed to soften slightly with concern, and she slowly made her way over until she was standing before Lily. "Mind if I sit down?" asked the brunette quietly.

"Sure." Lily moved over a bit to give Mary some room, allowing the girl to sit down with a flump, before turning toward her roommate and friend. Although a little embarrassed to be seen like this, at least Lily had managed to stop crying, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"So...why did you leave dinner like that, in tears and such, I mean." One of Mary's hands made an expansive gesture, perhaps trying to explain what she meant, while the other held gently onto Lily's arm, stroking it with immense softness. "You don't have to tell if you don't want to, but maybe it would help..."

Lily bit her lip, not quite sure how much she wanted to say. Mary was better with emotions than Severus, Lily knew that, but this didn't seem like something she wanted _everyone _to know about. As such, she spoke in a quiet voice, nearly a whisper, "Remember Perseus? Well...his mother died right before holidays...and he's hurting because his friend doesn't know, and talks about their family all the time. He's afraid to tell his friend, because he's worried that it'll hurt them to know..."

Mary's eyes widened, her mouth open as horror wrote itself over her face, sparing no part of it as she raised her hand to her lips. "That's awful! I mean, you'd tell me if something happened to your mom. Same with..." (she made a face) "...Snape, right?"

"Of course I would!" Lily made a note to talk to Severus about this as soon as possible; she didn't want to be a liar. "But I don't know what to tell him. It's not like I can just order him to talk to his friend...and I don't know what else I can do to help him..."

For several minutes, there was silence as Mary seemed to digest the information, Lily biting her lip as she wondered what she could do.

"I think that I need more time to think about this, but you don't have much, do you?" Mary pondered aloud, frowning as she brought a finger to her lips in thought. "I mean, he needs help fast I think, you know? How about I ask Sabrina if she has any ideas?"

"I dunno...maybe." Lily frowned, laying back and staring at the ceiling as she thought about it. "Just make sure she promises to tell _no-one _else, under any circumstances. Got it?"

Mary nodded, then changed the subject, "By the way, I was told to tell you that your mother sent you a letter; it arrived earlier today. McGonagall has it for now."

"Oh, thanks. I'll take care of it tomorrow," Lily yawned, her tears laying stickily on her cheeks. "But for now, I think I'll go and get ready for bed."

And so she did, thoughts of what she might do to help Perseus running through her head all the while.

There was something else that had bothered her about his letter; she just couldn't figure out what.

* * *

The next day, Lily was on the way to McGonagall's office, her thoughts still on focused on the letter she had received from her pen-pal when she was halted in her tracks by a distasteful sight:

Severus was there in the corridor ahead of her, leaning against the wall. Now, normally Lily would have been happy to see her best friend, especially given the fact that she wanted to talk to him about Perseus' letter, but unfortunately he had the loathesome twosome of Arcturus Mulciber and Justin Avery as company. And while she may have said she had no problems with Severus being friends with them so long as he didn't act like them, that didn't mean that her instinctive reaction to vomit at the sight of them had changed.

As quickly as she could, Lily hid behind a nearby door, hoping that she hadn't yet been seen.

Lily really didn't understand why Severus wanted to hang around with them, let alone change so much in an effort to fit in with them as he had last year, and she was beginning to think that she never would. Out of all the people who attended Hogwarts alone, let alone people outside of it, why had Severus chosen them to be his friends?

Even considering how Slytherins were generally untrustworthy (with the exception of certain ones such as Severus), Mulciber and Avery were particularly disgusting specimens. Mulciber was a rather large boy with shaggy blond hair and a cruel, mischievous grin, possessing a love of the Dark Arts that Lily found appalling, primarily because he liked to test his knowledge of those spells on his fellow students. Meanwhile, Avery was a short, skinny boy with a giggle of a laugh, who enjoyed the same cruel jokes and pranks as Mulciber.

Lily still remembered how the two of them had cast that spell on Mary which had had her acting like an idiot for an entire day, talking like a fool and banging her head into walls whenever she had gotten the chance. Severus' inability to understand just how horrifying the incident was for her and actually _defending _these two pieces of slime had been one of the reasons she had soured on their friendship, especially since he was bullied by Potter and Black himself so often.

"...Frankly, I don't know why they don't just fire the lot of them and start fresh. My aunt's been out of a job for months, but her old boss just keeps hiring more of those nasty little Mudbloods instead of helping her out."

"I know, Justin, it's right disgusting. That's what it is." Mulciber shook his head in anger. "Giving all that stuff to filthy vermin when the old families starve. It's just plain wrong, don't you agree, Severus?"

"Ummph..." grunted Severus with a nod, not even seeming to be paying attention as he stared out into space.

"Head in the clouds, Severus? Or maybe thinking about getting a peek at Selene's cleavage? She's been practicing her warming charms a bit too much, I'd wager, if the lack of clothing has anything to say about it. _Look_, there she is, an' she ain't wearing a bra either!"

At this, Severus turned around, his eyes frantically searching the corridor for the nonexistant Slytherin girl. Realizing that he'd been had, Severus turned a glare upon his laughing Slytherin friends. "Thanks a lot, Arcturus."

"Heh, sorry, Severus, but you know how it is..." At this, Lily prepared to leave without a word, not wanting to hear much more of Severus' friends, when Severus said something intriguing.

"Um...what does it mean when a girl kisses you, on the lips, I mean?" His voice was hesitant, and sounded rather confused. Lily couldn't say his face, as he had looked away from all of them. She hoped that Severus wouldn't reveal that she had kissed him; she had enough trouble with the rumors about her and Potter. She didn't want another set of them roaring through Hogwarts.

Mulciber frowned, before shrugging as he said, "Probably that she likes you. Who was it, anyway?"

"Wow, Severus got kissed! Will wonders ever cease?" Avery teased, giving Severus a bop on the head as he performed his giggle-laugh.

Mulciber chortled. "I know, right? Hell, I thought that he'd never find a girl who would touch lips with him!"

Lily frowned, feeling rather miffed on her best friend's behalf, but Severus merely shrugged. "It wasn't about me; it was someone..._else_." He made a face. "They told me that they kissed someone, but it didn't mean anything."

Mulciber gave him a strange look, before rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Snape, either she was in love with the bloke or she was a slag, no two ways about it."

"She wasn't in love with me!" shouted Severus in a heated tone of voice, making Lily blink in surprise. "And she _certainly _isn't a slag! Trust me on that!"

"Ooh, you _did _get a kiss!" Mulciber's mouth gaped open in shock. "Really?"

"Who was it, anyway?" Avery interrupted. "You never said who it was."

Severus paused, and Lily pursed her lips in worry, but he pointed down the corridor. "Her, Evelyn Matthews." His finger was pointed at a tall. buxom girl with stringy, blonde hair and the top three buttons of her blouse open. "You know, one of those two Ravenclaws in our Potions class."

As the two boys seemed to consider this, Lily let out a held breath, relieved that her secret hadn't been revealed. Finally, Mulciber nodded, giving Severus a quick appraisal, "Yeah, I can see it. Just like a girl, really; she gives you a kiss, but decides she doesn't mean it when she realizes that she kissed _you_."

"And she really is a slag, mate," pointed out Avery, much to Lily's reluctant agreement. Evelyn had become infamous among the sixth year females for the number of conquests she had had in the past couple of years, and Lily was willing to bit that these boys didn't know the half of them. "She was probably hoping that you'd take her right there, slip her a nice bit of todger."

"Sure, that sounds about right." Lily had to fight the urge to giggle, as while Severus' voice was normal, from her angle she could see him rolling his eyes.

"Speaking of birds," interjected Mulciber, a smirk firmly planted on his ironically-handsome face. "Selene Malfoy said she's throwing a party tomorrow night, and there's gonna be booze!"

Severus' eyes widened as he whirled around in surprise, but Avery was the first one to speak, "Cool, and we're all invited, right?"

The trio started walking down the corridor, so Lily had to strain her ears to catch the last few words of their conversation as Mulciber spoke, dark mischief in his voice, "Well...Avery can come, but first you'll..."

As his voice trailed off, Lily had a slight frown on her face, rather disappointed that Severus was going to go to such a party after she had just become the poster-child of why _not _to go, but then her face brightened.

He _had _protected her reputation, after all, and even Evelyn's. In comparison to that, what was a night pouring booze down his throat?

'Besides...' Lily grinned, a giggle escaping her. 'He could _really _do with a bit of relaxing, I'd bet!'

* * *

As it turned out, her mother's letter had been very short, only mentioning minor neighborhood happenings. However, she had told Lily in the letter that she was hoping that they could all go together on a vacation over Easter and _"...we wouldn't mind it if you brought one of your friends from school along. Even Petunia says that it's alright."_

Lily planned to ask Severus, unless she somehow managed to get a boyfriend or something in the next month or so, of course. It was a shame that she didn't know who Perseus was, with the exception that he was from another school and had good grades and the like. Still, knowing that his mother had committed suicide didn't mean that she knew who he was--she had considered combing the obituaries, but Sabrina had helpfully pointed out that suicides were rarely listed as such, to protect the good name of the deceased's family.

Speaking of which, that was why she was particularly fidgety as she waited for Potions class to end; she wanted to talk to Slughorn when class was over.

After the holidays, Slughorn had changed up the seating arrangements, putting everyone into groups of two--Lily was all but certain that it was because he wanted to put her and Severus together in classes again. Knowing the man, Lily couldn't blame him; she and Severus had a tendency to make each other work harder when they were put together in Potions, probably because they each enjoyed competing with the other when they had the opportunity.

It wasn't like they wanted the other one to fail...but Lily never could resist a triumphant grin when her potion proved the better of Severus', and Severus had a sneer ready and waiting for the times he brought home the win.

Still, the competition was over for now--both of them had already finished off their potions, hers being done just a smidge before Severus', and now they had to wait for the rest of the class to finish. Potter and Black's potion in particular was going awfully slowly, although Mulciber and the Hufflepuff girl's potion wasn't much better.

As such, Lily took the opportunity to fill Severus in on the weekly gossip--neither of them believed most of it, but some of the wilder rumors could make even the sallow Slytherin chuckle. Besides, it was good to see that the kiss didn't seem to bother him much anymore.

"...and so, per Bertha Jorkins, Sirius Black was found making out with a first-year Hufflepuff outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom...while dressed in Slytherin robes!"

Severus raised an eyebrow at this, a dark smirk forming on his lips as he glanced appraisingly at the Gryffindor member of the Black family. "And so...Black has clearly suffered from an Obliviate spell, a Confundus charm, and possibly an Imperius curse all in the same evening, only to be miraculously healed in the morning? For how else would he ever be caught, dead or alive, wearing Slytherin colors?"

Lily pressed a hand to her lips in an effort to stop her giggles. Then she spoke, gesturing dramatically in spite of the laughter, "And yet he was somehow on the other side of the castle as well, as Jorkins _also_ claims that he was busily buggering Potter at the same time!"

Severus made a face, looking for all the world as if someone had transfigured the contents of his cauldron into dragon dung. "Lily, if you ever mention Black buggering Potter again, I'll have to _obliviate _to remove those horrible thoughts from my mind!" He then paused, a snort escaping him, seemingly unwillingly. "It would explain why all we hear of Black with girls are Jorkins Rumors though."

Slughorn walked over to them, eyebrows raised as Lily broke into peals of laughter. "Might I ask what is so funny, Miss Evans, Mr. Snape?"

Severus immediately quieted down, his face turning that ugly mottled red shade it did when he was embarrassed, but Lily only smirked. "Well, professor, we were merely discussing how likely Sirius Black is to continue on the Black family line if Jorkins' rumors were to prove accurate."

Slughorn chortled. "Well, that is an interesting topic of discussion, and I'm glad to see that you're doing well."

"Yes, sir," chorused the two teens, Severus politely and Lily with a touch of the cheek she knew the old man loved so much. However, remembering her plan, she then asked, "By the way, professor, would you mind if I had a word with you after class?"

Slughorn gave a jovial smile. "Why of course, Miss Evans. I'd be delighted! Delighted!" He then turned his gaze upon Severus, saying with a somewhat softer tone of voice, "I'm glad to see that you accepted my offer, Mr. Snape. It'll do you good, I promise."

"Thank you sir." Severus spoke in a tone of politeness as Lily gave him a questioning look. A quick nod later, and Slughorn was on his way to check up on the Ravenclaw table. At which point he explained, "Slughorn offered me a job tutoring one of the other N.E.W.T. level students--not Black or Potter. I accepted."

"That's wonderful, Sev!" Lily beamed at him, causing him to turn an even darker shade of red. "No, I mean it. You would do such a great job, I'm sure, and it could give you a great opportunity to meet new people, new friends too!" After all, it was true. Even Evelyn, Hogwarts most-used bit of chuff, would be better than Avery or Mulciber in Lily's opinion.

Severus frowned though, a single dark eye boring into her own. "You said that you'd stop bothering me about my friend, Lily."

"I wasn't saying anything!" defended Lily, but Severus didn't speak for the rest of the class, save for to say "Goodbye" at the end of it. He left with Mulciber, who gave Lily a disgusted sneer when Severus had his back turned, to which the redhead responded in kind.

Everyone quickly leaving, Lily went to Slughorn, who was seated at the comfortable chair he favored behind his desk. "Um...professor, would you mind giving me some help with a...friend? I can't name names, you see."

Slughorn's smile faded, and he gave a slow nod. "Of course, Miss Evans. What do you need help with?"

Lily couldn't help but feel apprehensive, but managed to say, "Well, this...friend's mother. She commited suicide before holidays, and I was wondering if there was anything that I could do to help him. Can you help me, professor?"

Slughorn gave Lily a sad smile. "It's a good sign that he trusts you enough to trust you. I suggest merely being there for him, talking to him if he says anything about it. But generally try to make his life as easy as possible. The suicide of someone close to him... The pain probably won't go away for a long time, perhaps years. He'll need all the help he can get in the meantime." He gave her a proud, weighing look. "I trust that you're up to the challenge?"

"Of course, professor!" responded Lily instantly, nodding firmly.

"Well then, do your best, won't you?" said the professor with a trusting smile. "Still, make sure to talk to me whenever you think you might need a bit of assistance, alright?"

Leaving swiftly, Lily began to compose her letter:

_Dear Perseus,_

_I'm so, so, so, so sorry to hear about what happened to your mother! Trust me, I spent the night crying in my bed when I found out! I just want you to know, if you need anyone to talk to, I'd be happy to help you. If there's anything I can do by mail, anything at all, tell me!_

_As for your friend: you HAVE to tell them. I know that you don't want to burden them, but trust me when I say that there's nothing that would hurt them more than knowing that they could have been there to do something, but didn't because they didn't know that you needed the help!_

_I'm serious, TELL YOUR FRIEND! I'll be there to talk to you as needed...but you REALLY need to TELL THEM!_

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

After giving it a quick once-over, Lily hurried up to the owlery, sending the letter with all possible speed.

She could do no less.

**Author's Note: **Sorry if Slughorn's advice for how to help Lily deal with Perseus isn't correct; I tried my best, but I am neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist. (Well, I suppose Slughorn isn't either...but he's old and worldly, so that might make up for it.) Hell, I have no intention of ever being a doctor of any persuasion.

As such, I have no real idea of how to deal with such a thing, although advice for what Lily might be able to do to help via mail would actually prove extremely helpful. Suggestions are appreciated!

_Again, this chapter is at least partially thanks to my brilliant Beta, Anachronistic Anglophile!_

After reading all of my reviews, especially those of Totalreader at Yahoo and Marauderhater, I find myself likely corrected about the thought I had that Lily wasn't a prefect (I'm still certain about James not being an Auror though! One wonders if that might be why Harry's fortune wasn't much of a fortune--I mean, Black was able to easily afford a Firebolt as a bloody birthday present!). It's probably a good thing, all in all, as it means that I hadn't messed up canon in my fics in a blatant way--I try to keep things as canonical as possible, thanks to personal belief that it makes it more 'real', if you know what I mean.

Still, I would point out that while I'm probably wrong, the fact that Sirius doesn't mention Lily as not being a prefect might be mitigated by the fact that, per Hermione, he was rather James-obsessed. He'd probably focus more on James in that than Lily, you know? Just a thought, and I KNOW that I'm probably wrong.

As for the school thing...I apologize, as I had no idea that boarding schools worked that way. Thanks for the info, although given that Dumbledore seems to have a great deal of power and influence within a school--his gratuitously adding hundreds of points during the leaving feast Harry's first year comes to mind--I wouldn't be surprised if that meant very little to him. Again, I am probably grasping at straws, and realize that my thoughts on Lily's not being a prefect have been rebutted quite thoroughly.

Still, I might try a story where she wasn't a prefect, just to see how that might change the scheme of things. You know?

**_Regardless, I think that I have allowed myself to get too distracted from the story (an admitted flaw of mine at times), and as such request that we not continue this discussion in reviews; PMs are fine though. _**


	10. Three Letters, a Guy and a Girl

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 10**

**Three Letters, a Guy and a Girl**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

After sending the letter, Lily wondered when she might get a response from Perseus, desperately hoping that she might receive a quick one. He clearly needed someone to talk to, whether or not he was talking to that friend of his. No one should be left alone to deal with something like that, under _any _circumstances.

As it turned out though, she didn't get a reply to her letter for another week and a half, but it wasn't like she lacked things to do in the meantime. It seemed like she had to deal with James Potter's stupid smiling face everywhere she looked--though he refused to think about why her heart seemed to skip a beat whenever she saw him--and then there was Severus.

She glanced at the sallow-skinned boy, her lips quirking into a smile as she saw his brows knit themselves together. A small giggle escaped her lips as she returned her attention to the parchment she had lying in her lap. Perseus had finally responded, but Lily didn't want to read it while Severus was in the room, as it was a message best kept private and Severus was practically a born spy.

Severus had brightened up considerably as of late, although 'bright' was still an adjective that she would probably never apply to the dour young man. He had particularly enjoyed himself when the two of them had gone to Hogsmeade, even going so far as to follow Lily into Zonko's and smirk once or twice at a particularly amusing joke product. (While Lily would _never _consider actually using such products, she couldn't deny that they could be rather enjoyable to look at sometimes).

Of course, that didn't mean that _everything _had been fun and games; to her surprise, Lily had found herself dreading Severus' tutoring session today far more than the Slytherin boy himself, probably because she was afraid that Severus might botch up this chance to make a good friend through his little 'job'.

'And hopefully make some friends other than _those _boys!' Lily scowled as she thought about the two of them. They were horrible, laughing and chuckling as they went around Hogwarts beating people up because it was fun. At least Potter had stopped going after everybody but Severus, and she had hopes that he might be cured of _that_ filthy habit as well. Mulciber and Avery on the other hand... 'I hate to use the phrase 'trading up', but that's really what he should do--get some friends that aren't teenage _monsters_!'

Lily had been less than thrilled when Severus had talked to her after Selene Malfoy's party. Apparently, it had been basically a Death Eater rally with plenty of booze and girls who were interested in 'hanging out' with those 'in the know' about 'you-know-who'. 'And by 'hanging out', they didn't mean talking...'

From what Severus had told her, he had spent the night drinking alcohol alone since none of the girls were interested in him. Luckily for him, he had had the foresight to prepare a hangover potion _before _the party, so he had been just fine the morning after, albeit rather despondent from the night's events. ("_It's not like I particularly _wanted_ them to try anything, but it would have been nice for someone to show some interest, you know?_").

Although Lily had been less than thrilled about the alcohol, especially after her own foolish escapades, it wasn't like she was his mother or anything. 'Besides, it would probably do him a world of good to loosen up a tad.' Lily giggled as a thought came to her. 'And I can hardly imagine how much fun it would have been to see Mr. Stoic downright piss-drunk!'

"Might I ask what's so fun, Lily?" asked Severus with a note of curiosity, never taking his eyes off of the parchment on which he was writing. "If it's Black's escapades again, please count me out. I would have _obliviated_ myself if I could have, upon hearing of his buggery." Both of the teens shuddered at that thought. "Otherwise though, I wouldn't mind hearing it."

"Well..." Lily's grin widened, having gotten a great idea. Her voice quite melodramatic, she stood up and began to speak in a voice which could only be termed 'woe-is-me', "Oh, my dear Severus, it appears that a great wrong hath been done upon my fair form and joker's heart. Oh sadness, oh _woe_!"

Blinking in confusion, Severus dropped his quill upon the parchment. "Err...come again?"

Bringing her hand to her mouth, her eyes widening with horror, Lily took one step back. "You do not even recall the terrific and terrible boon that thou hast denied unto me? You monster! You _cad_! Thou hast wounded my heart, stabbing it as if with a knife!" As she spoke the word 'knife', Lily mimed the action of stabbing her, collapsing onto her knees as she screamed to the heavens, "Why dost thou torture me so!"

Severus' mouth worked for several seconds, seemingly unable to contend with Lily's sheer strangeness. Finally, he spoke in a questioning tone of voice, "I...err, would never allow you to be tortured, in any way...Lily?"

"Then why hast thou denied unto me the privilege of seeing thine blessed form in its truest and most honest state!" Lily waved her hands in the air, forcing a pleading look upon her face as she spoke, crawling to her dearest friend as she begged him for mercy.

Meanwhile, Severus just looked overwhelmed.

Reaching a crescendo, Lily grabbed his robes and veritably shook the boy as she spoke in a voice of false betrayal, "Severus, why did you refuse to let your dearest friend see you in the beautifully-odious, the awesomely-disgusting, the perfectly-maddening state of you drunk as a lord? _Why_!"

For several seconds, there was silence as Lily fought to keep a straight face, but then she exploded into peals of laughter. Severus followed suit albeit with snorting chuckles and coughs rather than laughs and giggles as he put everything together. Her knees buckling, Lily held onto Severus, dragging the boy to the ground on top of her even as her peals of laughter transformed into gales. Laughing so hard she started to cry, Lily grinned up at the pale teenager's dark eyes.

Finally Severus, bearing a genuine (albeit hesitant) smile for the first time in living memory, responded, "Well, Lily, had I known that the lack of such a thing would lead you to bodily assault me, do be sure that I would have conferred upon you said priviledge."

"Oh come on," teased Lily playfully, wriggling shamelessly as she poked his chest. "don't tell me that you aren't enjoying your opportunity to be this close to such a beautiful girl as myself? I must say that I am quite offended!"

Apparently realizing his position, Severus all but leapt off of her, stuttering apologies much to Lily's amusement. His eyes widened with horror, Severus made quite the comical sight.

Taking the opportunity to stretch her limbs as she got up, Lily grinned at her friend once again. "So, Severus, now that that's over...might I ask what you're working on?"

Severus' eyes flickered slightly, then he shrugged. "Well, if you must know, it's just a bit of Potions homework, Lily..." He then frowned. "...and for the record, I was _not_ as drunk as a lord as you claimed. I was merely tipsy."

"From what Jorkins claims, you were more than a little tipsy," replied Lily with a flick on his nose, smiling at the boy to show that she was just kidding around with him. However, a sudden thought struck her. "Say, Severus? Why are you working on _Potions _homework today? Shouldn't you have finished that _before _your tutoring session, considering it's about _Potions_?"

"Well...you see..."

Whatever Severus was about to say though was interrupted by a knock at the classroom door. Quickly walking over to open it, Lily was surprised to see... "_Evelyn_? What're you doing here?"

"I'm here for my tutoring session...Lily," came the quick reply from Evelyn Matthews, her lips quirking mischievously. "You know, to learn and all that. It's quite the pre-modern theoretical concept, or so I heard." Her eyebrows then raised. "Although I don't recall you being my Potions tutor...unless you really are Severus T. Snape in disguise?"

"Of course not!" shouted Lily in an indignant tone of voice, seeing her plan of getting Severus to make some new friends going up in flames around her.

"Then would you mind leaving? I'd rather keep this..." The stringy-haired blonde winked at Severus, licking her lips as she spoke. "..._private_."

Severus, until now silent, said in a frosty tone, "Do keep in mind that _I_ am in charge of this tutoring session, not you. If I want Lily to stay, then she can stay." Crossing his arms, he then gave a nod in Lily's direction. "Besides, she knows just as much as I do, and has twice the patience I'd say."

"Don't worry, Sev." Lily replied, trying her best to keep in mind that really _anybody _would be an improvement over Severus' current friends. "I'll leave the two of you _alone _together." As Severus' face flushed rather pink, she continued with a roll of the eyes. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Severus."

Walking out the door, Lily paused and whispered in Evelyn's ear, "And that goes doubly for you, _Matthews_. Don't go messing with my friend!"

"Wasn't going to," replied Evelyn with a frown. "But who made you his mom, anyway?"

"Just don't do anything stupid." And with a dark glower, Lily swept out of the room.

* * *

_Medusa,_

_Thank you for your nice thoughts, I suppose. You shouldn't worry so much about me though; I'm doing fine, with the march of time and such. Also, I did something to help pass the time and that helped. Really, if I told my friend now it would just be cruel. I'm over it and they would be horrified to discover about my mother's death and how she died. _

_What would be the point? That is what I ask you. What would be the point of tormenting my friend with this knowledge nearly two months after the fact? _

_Speaking of time passing, how was Valentine's Day for you? It just passed yesterday, didn't it?_ _Did you do anything special?_

_On a far more important note though, have you been researching more about the Dark Arts? You didn't mention them in the slightest in your last letter, so I'm wondering if you've completely forgotten about it._

_Trust me when I say that this is as or more important than anything that happened with my mum; per what my dorm-mates are saying, there could be a war coming on. While I don't think that things will get half as bad as they seem to think (Then again, they seem to think that the 'Muggleborn horde' will steal the very lifeblood of the pureblood families, driving them all into the poorhouse, etc.), I do strongly advise that you be PREPARED._

_For the sake of your irksome self, I hope that you listen to me about this._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Lily frowned as she read through the letter for a third time, having had plenty of time thanks to the length of Severus' tutoring session. While Perseus had some good points...there was something in the letter that just bothered Lily, once again. It was as if there were something she was missing from what he said, and she couldn't figure out what it was.

Still, there were plenty of other things to work out before she could really consider what she was missing.

'Only two months to completely get over a suicide of one's mother?' Lily shuddered at the thought. 'Without the help of friends at all? He's either inhuman or lying to himself. I mean, if it happened to me, I'd be a wreck for months, maybe even years. How can he claim to be 'pretty much over it' after not even two months!'

Really, it was quite unimaginable for Lily, and because of this she wrote:

_Dear Perseus,_

_I'm going to be perfectly honest: I find it IMPOSSIBLE to believe that you could be over your mother's death so quickly, after not even two months. I'd put good money on you lying to yourself if I were a betting woman; people don't get over things like that so quickly. Seriously, talk to someone about it, ANYONE._

_Really, you may think that you're over it, but trust me when I say that talking about it is the best thing you can possibly do. Again, TELL YOUR FRIEND! If they're really your friend, they won't be bothered by this--they'll be thrilled for the chance to help YOU._

Lily then paused, thoughts of the past week running through her mind. She had barely given a thought to the fact that Valentine's Day had been earlier that week, as she had been too busy being worried about Perseus. As a matter of fact, it had been the very day that she and Severus had gone to Hogsmeade, now that she thought of it.

_In regards to Valentine's Day, I honestly forgot about it completely. I did have a good time of it though--I went and hung out with a friend, generally enjoying ourselves together. He was the guy I was having that disagreement with a few months back, you know?_

_As for the Dark Arts, I'll take a look at some of the books, but I'm not making any promises. I personally agree with your friends about things getting bad...although I suspect that it might be your friends who will be the cause of it, what with You-Know-Who and all. _

_I don't know if you've paid much attention, but I heard that he's trying to shove some bill through the Ministry that'll make it pretty hard for anyone like me (a Muggleborn) to get a job. The purebloods of course think he's the best thing to come around in ages, given that he probably wants to kick all Muggleborns out of England, but I heard he's building up this army of Death Eaters and Dark creatures... I don't know if it will end without war... _

_Regardless of how I prepare myself though, I promise that I won't be stupid, alright?_

_By the way, in regards to your previous letter, how are you doing on those Potions you said that you would have ready for me? You never mentioned them in the one you just sent me._

_Regardless,_

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

Smiling a small smile as she finished up the letter, Lily was about to walk up to the owlery and send off her letter when the door beside her opened, allowing her to hear Evelyn Matthews' voice as she left the Potion's Classroom. Standing up, Lily listened intently, trying to gauge how well the tutoring session had gone by what they were saying.

"...you very much, Severus. Today was quite helpful indeed; I didn't know half of this stuff before you told me. I was doing alright on the theory of course, but the practice...not so much."

Severus' voice, while not particularly warm, was at least polite as he replied, "You are welcome, Miss Matthews. When would you like to meet for our next session?"

"Hmm..." Evelyn pursed her lips, seeming deep in thought until her eyes suddenly fell upon Lily. "Huh, it seems that we have an audience, Severus. You didn't tell me that your friends made a habit of _eavesdropping_."

"What?" Severus' face appeared from behind the door, reddening in what Lily strongly suspected was embarrassment. "Lily?"

"I wasn't _eavesdropping_, Evelyn," retorted Lily hotly, crossing her arms across her chest as she tossed a quick jibe at the girl, "Besides, it's not like I'm interested in the sort of _stuff_ you do, especially since Sev wouldn't be interested anyway." At that, Evelyn's eyes narrowed dangerously, but Lily ignored her, turning her attention to Severus. "I just wanted to see how Severus' first session went, _after _the fact."

Severus glanced at Evelyn, but shrugged as he muttered, "That's private, I think."

"Not if your name is Lily Evans, apparently," snipped Evelyn with a scowl.

Lily's eyes narrowed into slits, but then she smiled as a thought came to her. "Hey, Severus, I need to talk to you about your plans for Easter. D'you mind?" She sneered at Evelyn. "That's _private _too, by the way. So would you mind giving us some time alone, _Evelyn_?"

Evelyn glared at her, but started off down the corridor without another word.

Smirking triumphantly, Lily continued in a much lighter tone of voice as the two of them walked up the corridor, "Anyway...I was wondering if you would mind going on a vacation with my family and I for Easter. My mum said I can bring anyone, and I was hoping that you'd say 'yes'. I dunno where we're going, but it should be a load of fun!"

Severus seemed less than thrilled though, saying in a very lukewarm tone, "Hmm...alright, I guess. Let her know soon, just to make sure it's alright with her if I come."

"Don't worry, I'll send a letter out later tonight," replied Lily with a wave of her hand. "And don't be so glum, Sev! It's not like my whole family hates you, just Petunia, and she'll come around sooner or later."

"I hope you're right, Lily..." Severus' voice was barely a mumble. "I really do..."

* * *

Another two weeks went by without major event, although from what she heard from Mary, Severus and James had had yet _another _confrontation and Sirius Black was continuing in his attempts to woo Mary to little effect. Apparently, he had tried to show her how much he cared by singing a song he had personally written for her, as well as sending her a box of her favorite flavor of dark chocolate when he had discovered that she liked the Muggle brand Godiva.

None of it had worked, with Mary simply ignoring the singing and returning the chocolate. Lily hoped for Sirius' sake that he would eventually take a hint--so far, the closest thing to affection that Mary had shown to him was sheer loathing, and that was only if one believed that only a thin line seperated love and hate.

Meanwhile, Severus' tutoring sessions with Evelyn had been going well, from what little Lily could glean from the stoic Slytherin. Luckily, at least as far as Lily was concerned, Evelyn seemed to be keeping her claws off Severus. From her perspective, Severus would be much better off if he kept Evelyn at arm's reach rather err...genital's distance.

It wasn't so much that Lily disliked the girl (although she certainly wouldn't deny as such if asked) as it was the fact that Evelyn had quite the reputation for getting together with a guy, sleeping with him by the third or fourth date, and then breaking up with him by the tenth one. She had more notches in her bedposts than Lily cared to think about, and although Severus certainly wasn't the most attractive of guys, Lily doubted Evelyn would mind adding another notch for Severus T. Snape. 'And with how naive and idealistic Severus is about romance and stuff...she could really hurt the guy.'

Still, in spite of all that, for the moment Lily was doing something that she did all too rarely: relaxing while watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice. Perhaps it was because of how _different _Quidditch was from similar Muggle sports, but Lily enjoyed watching the game like few others--although she hated the fact that someone like James Potter had been chosen to be Quidditch captain.

Somehow though, he had managed to lead Gryffindor to the Quidditch Cup for two out of the last three years, only failing to achieve this on his fifth year. Lily privately admitted that it was unlikely that that failure would repeat itself though, especially with how the team was doing today. With how quick and sure the movements of the players were, Lily doubted that anything would stop them from winning the Cup again.

However, even though it was a nice, quiet day, Lily's thoughts were rather distracted by the newest letter Perseus had sent. Even though she wasn't looking at it now, she could recall it almost word for word even as she watched the Gryffindors playing in their scarlet Quidditch uniforms...

_Medusa,_

_I have talked to someone about it, you (and I'm regretting it already, you can be absolutely certain of that). Even if I hadn't spoken to anyone though, I still would have been fine. And as for my friend and I...we have a relationship that is close, but one where it is not necessary to tell each other everything to assist one another. _

_Even if they don't know, that doesn't mean that they haven't been of a great help to me, merely by being there and cheering me up through...I suppose one could call it 'diffusion'. If I should need to talk about it though, I hope that you would be able to listen._

_How are you and your 'friend' doing, by the way? You haven't told me anything about him, and I'm truly glad to see that the two of you have worked things out, in spite of your probable mistake of keeping him as your friend._

_As for the war though, that is something that should be thought about with great care. After all, even if one of the sides is not an option for you, why would you wish to risk your life for something so silly as politics? Politics are not worth dying for, nor are mere differences of opinion. After all, I may truly LOATHE 'Porthos' and 'Aramis', but I am certainly not prepared to get in a battle to the death against them, although I cannot say the same about them._

_Regardless of whether you agree with me on this or not, do try to keep yourself safe, annoying chit. _

_In regards to the Potions though, although I have not 'spoken' to you about them, I have been hard at work improving a particular recipe during my spare time. It is a recipe for Dreamless Sleep, and you may feel free to test it out and show it to your friends...if you think that you are capable of making it (once again, the recipe is on the back of the parchment). _

_Don't strain yourself though._

_Sincerely,_

_Perseus_

Lily had a difficult time believing what Perseus was saying, that he could have recovered that quickly...but he did seem very sure of himself, far past the point of arrogance. Could he have already recovered? Could she merely be annoying him by continuing to harp on what he said? 'After all, it seems that he's been getting more help than I thought, even if his friend doesn't know they're helping...'

Still...

"Err...Lily? Could I have a word?"

Lily jerked, whipping her head around to see Remus Lupin standing beside her on the bleachers, a nervous look upon his face. Blinking several times, she finally shrugged. "Uh, sure, go right ahead."

Remus nodded, swallowing nervously and glancing up in the direction of the Quidditch players high overhead before muttering, "Before I say anything, James didn't ask me to do this for him, alright?" At Lily's confused nod, he took a deep breath, then continued with an embarrassed blush, "I'm sure you've noticed how James has been pursuing you for...well, a couple years now, at least."

"Remus," said Lily sweetly. "A blind, half-dead chipmunk could see that Potter has been pursuing me. Your point is...?"

His voice hesitant, Remus said in a quiet voice, "Well, James has been particularly hopeful ever since the night when you both, you know, _kissed_. But...you don't seem to be acting any different, except for more embarrassed and such. So I'm wondering...should I be telling him to give up, to try his luck with some other girl?" Remus swallowed again, his voice growing more determined. "He's my friend after all, I don't want him to be wasting his time if there's absolutely no chance that you'll ever want to go out with him. So should I?"

Lily opened her mouth, about to say yes instantly, that _of course_ she would never want to be with him...

...but then she closed it, a coldness settling in her breast at the thought that he would just...stop. If she said yes then perhaps Remus _would _succeed, and James _would_ give up his pursuit...and Lily wasn't so sure she wanted that.

'In fact,' The image of that annoyingly-handsome face, those maddeningly-sparkling eyes filled her mind while the confused yet happy sensation that she felt whenever she saw him of late echoed through. 'I think I would hate the idea of him _never _wanting to go out with me again, I would hate it quite a bit actually... In fact, I...'

Nervous, Lily started to whisper, her cheeks pink, "Well, he has matured quite a bit, I'll give him that. I suppose that..."

Then she stopped. The image of Severus, broken and bleeding on the cold stone floor of Hogwarts suddenly forced out that of James' twinkling eyes, the stark, cold truth behind the beautiful illusion of jokes and laughter. Her voice cold, she continued firmly with a hardened heart, "I think that it doesn't matter much, does it, Remus?"

The ragged young man blinked. "Err, what?"

"Remus," continued Lily in the same cold voice. "Do you really think that it matters if he's going to keep fighting with my best friend? Potter might have stopped hexing everyone else in the school, but if he thinks that I'm going to go out on one measly date with him while he keeps it up with my friend, then he's bloody mad!"

Remus opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, seeming to think the better of it. His eyes searching her own in an manner as penetrating as any of Dumbledore's looks, he finally nodded, sitting down beside her as he sighed. "Alright, I'll let him know when he's done with practice."

Several minutes passed, then Remus said in a curious tone, "By the way, how are things going with you and your pen-pal? The two of you getting alone well?"

"Why would you want to know?" Lily asked suspiciously.

Remus frowned for a moment, his eyes not looking at Lily's, seeming nervous as he spoke, "Well, it's supposed to be a secret...but I was the one who gave out the assignments. And...err...I kind of peeked at yours before I gave it to you. Is it going well?"

Lily gave Remus a single, piercing look, then she shrugged. "Well, he's a great guy, but he's just so...I dunno, 'mysterious'."

"Mysterious?" Remus raised his eyes, seeming surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." Lily tried to explain, "He's kind of like Severus in a way: really great at Potions, generally smart and up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts..."

"I'm not surprised." Remus mumbled, causing Lily to stop and stare at him in confusion. "Err...I peeked at his file, you know. I'm not exactly surprised that he's like Snape..."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not _that _much like Severus. This guy's as arrogant as Potter without even trying, really proud and stoic, you know? Severus wouldn't know self-confidence if it bit him on his uh...nose." At Remus' dubious look, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh come off it, I know what I'm talking about. I know that you and your _friends _don't like him much, but he's really shy underneath all the prickles. You really should get to know him better; I think you'd find that the two of you have a lot in common."

"Maybe in the future," replied the boy in patient manner. "But for now, I've got to get going. James is done with Quidditch practice, and I want to...congratulate him."

At Lily's silent nod, Remus quickly walked off, not looking back as he did so. For a moment, she felt a wave of sadness as she stared up into the slowly-darkening sky.

A single, dark thought struck her as she turned back to the castle, walking back inside. 'If no-one's willing to try to be his friend, does it really matter if Severus isn't as bad as they all think? '

Taking one last look out toward the Quidditch pitch, Lily whispered to herself, "I suppose it makes no difference at all..."

**Author's Note: **On an offtopic, I've been rather distracted from writing this chapter of late due to the fact that my girlfriend has come over from across the country to stay for a few weeks (Also finals, but that tortures _everybody_ about my age). Still, I do hope that the chapter makes up for the wait.

Enjoy!

_This has been betaed by the brilliantly-annoying Anachronistic Anglophile. Fear her._


	11. Revelations

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 11**

**Revelations**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

"Come on, Mary! Tell me what you think!"

"Sabrina..."

"_Please_! I need to know which is better: the red for Gryffindor or the blue because it goes with my cerulean hairband?"

"What would be _better _would be if you would _shut up _about it! Could the two of you please keep it _down_!" shouted Lily before covering her head with her pillow. "_Some _of us are trying to _sleep_!"

"But Lily, this is important," replied Sabrina in scandalized tones, her voice muffled by Lily's pillow but still understandable. "Slughorn's party is almost two weeks away and I haven't picked out an outfit yet! You _know _there's going to be a dance. Do you really want me to _humiliate _myself?"

"Sabrina." Lily turned and leveled a cold glare at the blond girl. "If you don't shut up and go back to sleep, I'll try testing some of the hexes that Severus taught me out on _you_. Got it?"

There was silence for several seconds, then Mary stage-whispered to her blond companion, "You think that she might teach me some of those hexes? Mulciber's been bothering me a lot of late and it would be nice to have a couple of new tricks up my sleeves the next time he tries to put me in the hospital wing." Scowling darkly, she then muttered, a cold glint in her eyes, "Wish Dumbledore would expel the prat, preferably after giving me a few days alone with him, him wand-less."

Both Lily and Sabrina shivered at the naked cruelty in Mary's voice, but it was hard to gainsay the poor girl. Although Severus might be able to turn a blind eye to Mulciber's viciousness, Lily had to see the results every time that Mary came back from the hospital wing after the latest atrocity. Luckily, this didn't happen more than once every couple of months, but still it worried the redhead greatly.

"Well, Mah-rie-ah," said Sabrina with a bright smile, her slim hands clasped together over her bosom. "Since Lily seems to have woken up..._back to work_! Help me with my outfit, please!"

Mary blinked twice, turning to her friend with a quizzical look on her face. "Err, Sabrina, I thought that James Potter had already rejected you as his date _twice_. Who could you possibly be going with?"

Sabrina giggled, a mischievous grin on her face. "Well, you know how Remus has been staring at us a lot lately? Well, he decided to offer to take me to the Slug Club meeting earlier this week. Apparently all those times that we thought he was staring at you, Mary, he was really looking at me!"

"And...?" prompted the brunette.

Sabrina gave a quick twirl as she looked down at her latest set of dress robes, a blue affair. "You see, it's all part of my clever plan. I made it clear to Remus and James that I'm just going out with the boy to be nice to him, but I'm going to show him a great time and make sure that this date goes really well for him. Afterward, he'll tell James what a great date I was and that'll get our favorite Quidditch captain thinking about how it might _just _be worth it to go out with me once...or twice...or get married!" Turning back to the two gaping girls nearby, she laughed brightly. "See? It's positively _brilliant_!"

Lily and Mary shared a look, shaking their heads as Mary muttered, "Oh, it's something alright." As Sabrina looked at her best friend in confusion though, Mary snapped her fingers before turning to Lily, nodding decisively. "I just remembered! McGonagall wanted me to tell you that your mother sent another letter."

Lily cast a last, longing look at her bed, but sighed as she reached for her trunk and pulled out a set of robes. "I guess I'll go and see what she wrote..."

"Don't bother," said Mary as she reached into her robes, pulling out a lilac-colored envelope and offering it to Lily. "McGonagall said that I can just give the letters to you from now on; she's trying to see if she can persuade the school governors to chuck Mulciber out on his pimply bum and I offered to take care of it as a favor."

"Why not have one of the prefects handle it?" wondered Sabrina aloud. "I mean, sure the fifth and seventh years have plenty to deal with what with O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year, but surely Remus would be willing to pass you the letters. He seems pretty trustworthy and all..."

"Actually," Mary said with a smirk, "your date's in a bit of trouble with Dumbledore at the moment."

"_Remus_?" asked Lily, shock written on her face. "Remus Lupin is in trouble with Dumbledore?"

"Yeah, remember how he was put in charge of passing out pen-pal assignments and such? Well, I heard that he sorta...changed a few of them." Mary shivered as she sat back down on her own four-poster bed, her voice dropping down to a near-whisper. "McGonagall was in a right state from what I heard, something about 'If you ever do that again, you'll have to beg to be a janitor at this school!'."

"Yeah... Can I have my letter now?" Although the current topic was interesting, Lily was far more interested in finding out what her mother had to say. If the vacation went as Lily hoped it would, then Severus would surely have a great time. Thanks to his family being rather impoverished, Lily was certain that the poor boy had never gone on a real holiday vacation, and surely this would be a great chance to do so.

"Sure," said Mary vaguely, handing the letter to Lily before returning her attention to Sabrina. "I wonder who's pen-pal assignments Remus changed though; it can't have been any of the Marauders, since I heard that the assignments were inside the school and you _know _that James and Sirius were both complaining about the work for _weeks_."

"Yeah," replied Sabrina in a wistful, giggling sort of tone. "I ended up writing all of their letters for them, as a favor to James... Good thing too, as I think James' was a girl. Best to avoid more competition, if you know what I mean..."

However, Lily's mind was quickly distracted by what her mother had written, as she could almost hear her Easter dreams crashing down around her...

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm really sorry, I should have made this more clear in my last letter. I meant to say that you can bring anyone with us for Easter vacation except for Severus Snape. You may have forgiven him for insulting you unprovoked in front of a whole crowd of people, but that doesn't mean that we will._

_To be honest, the only reason that we put up with the ornery berk was because he was your best friend and seemed to care about you, but after betraying you so brutally for no reason at all, I refuse to deal with him any more than is necessary. He can come over to our house if you really must associate with him, but that is it._

_Petunia is of the same opinion as well, and you know how the two of them get along already. I am not going to ruin our vacation so that you can bring him with us, and I think that you should give serious consideration as to whether or not you want him as a friend. He has lied to you about his...acquaintances, insulted your heritage and is frankly a waste of your time._

_I don't mind if you bring one of your other acquaintances, Mary MacDonald perhaps, but Severus Snape is not an option._

_Your father sends his love and hopes that you are doing well on your studies. Remember, just because O.W.L.s are over and your N.E.W.T.s are over a year away doesn't mean that you should be wasting your time partying and what-not!_

_Lots of love,_

_Marigold Evans_

_P.S. Bring home a chocolate frog or two when you come for Easter; your father adores them!_

* * *

"Hmm...were you aware that Chameleon blood works well in Polyjuice Potion, and no-one in the past hundred years considered the _possibility _that an element relating to a creature that famously changes it's appearance could be useful in a potion designed to do the same? Really, it's completely dunderheaded." Severus muttered from his position standing over their cauldron, his eyes roving over the potion inside as most teenage boys' eyes might over an attractive girl, determined to examine every inch for the slightest flaw or defect.

"It is rather strange, I suppose..." admitted Lily, looking down at the flames, ostensibly to make certain that they weren't too hot for the brewing concoction.

Severus snorted, continuing exuberantly even as he kept his gaze focused upon the potion, "Indeed! You'd think that _someone _would have thought about it..." He continued speaking, but Lily was unable to pay attention, her thoughts consumed by far more pressing matters than optimizing their potion.

It was the end of Potions class, nearly a week after Lily's mother had sent that letter. She hadn't been able to look Severus in the eyes since that day, the guilt of not telling him about what her mother had said continually threatening to consume her. How couldn't she have told him that her mother had said that she could bring _anyone _but him with them on the vacation? How could she sit there talking to him while keeping this from him?

Lily felt somewhere below pond-scum with how she was keeping this secret from him, but she couldn't just _tell _him, not before she did _something _about it. Severus didn't deserve to be treated so badly, not when he was clearly very sorry about what he had done, not when he had offered so much to pay for it.

Of course, the problem was that Lily still didn't have that many people to talk to who would really be on her side in this issue; Severus was out of the question for the moment as she just couldn't tell him that her _mother _had told her that he was a waste of time, and most of her other friends would recommend dumping the boy if they thought she was listening.

Luckily though, she had Perseus, and she had quickly sent out a letter to the boy asking for advice on the matter:

_Dear Perseus,_

_That does sound as if it was a great help, I suppose. I'm glad that you had someone to help you through it, even if he/she was unwittingly doing so. By the way, what's he/she like? Just wondering._

_Of course I would be willing to listen; I would like to call myself your friend, even if officially we are nothing more than pen-pals. As such, I would want nothing more than to help you through such problems._

_As for the friend that you were curious about, although it would be inappropriate of me to tell you his name, I am happy to inform you that he is a bright, rather-ambitious young man and he could kick your butt in Potions if I say so myself. I find myself constantly in awe of his intelligence, and he is great company if he's willing to open up to you._

_I don't know if it's necessary to fight You-Know-Who YET, but if he is determined to wage war to succeed in his disgusting ideals like he seems to be, then I'll fight him to my last breath, you can be sure of that! There's politics and then there's right and wrong. There's no way I could stand by if he's half as evil as I think he is!_

_I think that I'll show the recipe to my Potions Professor sometime, as it certainly seemed to work well the time I made it. At the least, it might be useful in getting a recommendation in the future, you know? Make sure that you try it too if you are thinking about going into the field of Potions (an idea I might suggest)._

_However, I have something far more grave to ask of you, and I really need your help with this:_

_I told my friend, the one I mentioned earlier, that I'd like to bring him along with my family for something. He said that he would come, but my mom said that she would allow me to bring anyone EXCEPT for him. Apparently, she hasn't forgiven him for the falling out or something._

_I really don't want to tell him he can't come, and frankly I'd rather not go if she won't change her mind, but I hope that it doesn't come to that. I'm not sure what we'd be doing during this 'something', but my mom knows me well and it's probably going to be a lot of fun._

_How would you recommend dealing with it? Please, I need your help_

_Your Friend, _

_Medusa_

Lily knew that it was unlikely that Perseus would be able to help, given how little she had told the boy, but she had nothing but hope. At the least, the boy would be on her side in the matter, so it couldn't hurt-

"Miss Evans? Mr. Snape?" Lily whipped her head up, only to see Professor Slughorn standing behind Severus, a genial smile on his walrus-like face as he held several pieces of parchment in his old hands. "Might I ask for your homework? After you turn it in, along with a vial of your potion of course, the two of you are free to go."

"Of course, Professor."

"Alright..."

Lily reached down and pulled out her twelve-inch essay on Antidotes from her book-bag, handing it to the professor with a smile and a cheerful "Here you go!', but for some reason the man seemed puzzled as he stared in Severus' direction.

Following the man's gaze, Lily saw that Severus was frantically searching through his bag, pulling out one book after another, casting them onto the floor with a snarl. The young Slytherin turned to Slughorn and bowed, saying in solemn tones, "Just a minute, sir. I seem to have misplaced my essay."

Slughorn blinked, but nodded understandingly. "Very well, let me collect the rest of the essays now. Be sure to find it, Mr. Snape. I'd hate to have to give one of my best students a 'T' for a relatively simple essay."

Severus nodded frantically and quickly returned his attention to his book-bag, Lily assisting him in his search this time, but it soon became obvious that Severus didn't have it. "Sev, what happened? You had to have finished it ages ago, right? I saw you working on it before you were tutoring Evelyn that time. You brought it to class, didn't you?"

"Of course I did it, and I'm sure I brought it with me," muttered Severus, his eyes roving hopelessly over his empty bag. Soon enough though, he collapsed into his seat with a sigh. "Where could it have gotten to? I know I-" His eyes suddenly hardened as he whipped his head around to glare at Potter and Black. "_Potter_. He must have done something. It's the only explanation!"

"Probably," admitted Lily, allowing her own frosty gaze to fall upon the charmingly-waving Gryffindor boy. "But how are you so sure?"

"Who else would want it?" replied Severus with a scowl. "No-one else in the class has a motive, being either clever Ravenclaws, Ravenclaws who I am tutoring, Mulciber, or a Hufflepuff. None of them would need it or care enough to mess with me, only Potter or Black!"

Although part of Lily wanted to point out that trusting Mulciber not to need to cheat was like trusting an alcoholic not to drink, she nodded nonetheless. "Let's see what the two of them turn in; even if they change the name, it's not like they can alter the handwriting so quickly!"

Albeit confused at the request, Slughorn allowed them to look at the turned-in homework, however that turned out to reveal... "Nothing, bugger it, nothing at all!" cried out Severus in a mixture of helpless fury and endless hatred. "I checked everything, _everything_! None of it's mine!"

"Don't worry, Mr. Snape," said the professor in an understanding tone of voice. "I'll let you rewrite it and hand it in tomorrow, and with only a bit of a mark-off too! What do you say?"

"Fine, I guess that's fine," replied Severus distractedly, glaring at Potter as he strode out the door, a mischievous smirk on his face. "I'll see you in a bit, Lily. I've got to tutor Evelyn again...well, if she can detach herself from that bloke over there." He waved a hand in the Ravenclaw girl's direction as she giggled at the boy she was currently dating (a fifth-year Slytherin if Lily remembered correctly), her smile wide and her eyes seemingly vacant of thought. "Shame, she can be pretty smart when she's not hanging off of her... Are you alright, Lily?"

"I'm...fine," whispered Lily, handing back a piece of parchment to Slughorn. "I'll see you in a bit, Sev."

Although looking at her strangely, Severus soon left, not that Lily really noticed, for she was too busy staring numbly at her hands. She had recognized the handwriting on the parchment for someone it _couldn't _be, but it wasn't because it was Severus' handwriting (not that she saw too much of that, considering how secretive he could be)...

...but because it was Perseus' handwriting, on the homework of _Arcturus Mulciber_!

* * *

The next morning, Lily didn't even bother to stay for breakfast, for Perseus' (or Mulciber's) letter to her had finally arrived. Hurtling out of the hall in search of privacy, she ignored the small grumbles of her stomach as she spied a solitary corner wherein she could read the message. However, once she sat down, she paused.

Although she felt leery of reading anything that she suspected had been sent from Mulciber, Lily wanted nothing more than to read Perseus' letter, for although he was not a nice boy he seemed to be quite sensitive at times...which made it even more strange that it was _Mulciber _writing the letters!

How could she possibly equate the clever, fearful,_ not-_charming Perseus with the cruelly-smiling and evilly-joking visage of Arcturus Mulciber? She had watched the boy eat at breakfast, and he had spent half the meal eating, half chortling with his fellow monster-boys, and a third half (Lily allowed him three halves because he was more evil than most, so perhaps he could break the rules of mathematics as well as those of the school) sneering at Mary while pointing in the brunette's direction and mouthing curses at her.

Really, it was quite absurd that Perseus should be this..._monster _of a boy, and yet apparently he was. Still, it was Perseus, so-

"Evans! Hey, Evans, I need to talk to you about something!"

"Ugh, not now... " Although Potter was normally annoying enough, Lily was especially irked as she hadn't the time right then to deal with his pompous posturing while she was trying to come to grips with the idea of Perseus and Mulciber being the same person. "Can it wait, Potter? I'm _busy_!"

"You're always busy, Evans. Come on, just a couple of minutes?" wheedled Potter in an almost-pleading voice. "I promise I won't be long."

Lily whirled around, furiously shouting, "Potter, I-" She stopped, unable to finish; she hadn't been expecting Potter's face _that _close to hers. His brown eyes begging for succor and his proud lips mere inches from her own left her breathless and blushing. Images of the last time that those lips were that close flashed through her mind, turning it into something resembling sludge. "I...uh..."

He seemed to realize this, his lips quirking into a smirk. "Yes, Evans? May I talk to you?"

"I...suppose that would be alright, Potter." Lily couldn't help but whisper, although she had the presence of mind to hide Perseus' letter in her pockets while she did so. Closing her eyes and swallowing as she took a few steps back, trying to beat back the stupid butterflies that seemed determined to make a permanent home in her stomach, she managed to regain some degree of control over herself. "Well? What is it?"

Potter's smirk slowly faded and he sighed, his brown, almost-amber eyes mesmerizing the Gryffindor girl as he spoke, "Ev-Lily, you told me last year that I was as bad as Snape was, nothing more than a brute and a bully who got off on tormenting other students...but I've changed, really I have. I haven't bullied a single student this whole year, honest, so why won't you give me a chance?"

Although a small part of Lily wanted to say yes, the part that seemed to have butterflies infesting it constantly, the greater part of her replied, "Potter, are you trying to tell me that you've left _every _student alone? If I asked Severus for example, would he say that you've left him alone, quit picking on him?"

Potter's eyes hardened, resembling rocks buried in his head as he said angrily, "Snape's different; it's not bullying him if he keeps provoking me, by hexing me or my friends or mocking us, treating us like buffoons. If he insults me or my friends, I'm not just going to sit around and take it, you know!" Stopping, Potter took a deep breath before continuing in a softer tone of voice, "The others you were right about, I admit, as I was just humiliating them for my enjoyment, but Snape's a different story."

"Well, you'll just have to get used to the idea that I'll never give you a chance then," replied Lily frostily, both of her hands on her hips. "Besides, if Severus really is hexing or insulting you and your friends, then why not just let Remus handle it? He _is _a prefect, is he not? There's no need to let it devolve into brutish violence, you know."

Potter looked as if she had just forced him to swallow a vomit-flavored Bertie Bott's bean. "Is it really _that _important to you, Lily? I mean, friends are important and all, but you and I..." Potter drew nearer, until his lips were barely inches from her own. "I think there could be something here, something incredible between us. Is someone like Snape, a rotten, rude prick of a boy, worth more than something that could be that special?" Shaking his head, Potter put a hand on her shoulder. "Honestly, Lily, he's just not worth it. Just forget about him."

For several seconds, there was silence between the two Gryffindors, but then Lily said quietly, "And what if I said that my condition for being with you was that you throw Black out onto the streets, abandoning him when he needs you? That's what you might as well be asking me when you tell me to ignore _my best friend_ and how you treat him. So yes Potter, Severus _is _more important to me than some romance with you, and if you want to have the slightest chance of being with me, then you'll just have to leave him alone."

And with that said, Lily turned to leave, hoping to find somewhere she could read alone. 'I wonder if the library is empty-'

"Alright, it's a deal."

Lily blinked, before turning around in surprise. "Err, what?"

Potter, still looking positively ill, nodded slowly as he said, "You heard me: if leaving Snape alone when he pesters me and my mates is what it takes to be with you, I'll leave him alone. Of course, don't be surprised when Remus starts taking points away from Slytherin by the bushel." A grim look on his face, Potter then asked, "Well? What do you say now?"

"To be honest, I'll believe it when I see it." Nonetheless, Lily offered her hand to shake. "If you leave him alone until the end of the school year though, I'll give you a chance."

"Until _June_?" Potter seemed disgusted. "That'll be _ages_."

"It'll take at least that long to convince me that you're serious, Potter. If it's too hard though, I'm sure that Sabrina would like to go out with-"

"Fine," replied Potter, taking Lily's hand and giving it a firm shake. "And here," Potter reached into his book-bag, pulling out a written-on piece of parchment. "I'll even give you his Potions paper from yesterday as a...how would my dad have put it? A gesture of sincerity."

"Very well." Lily swallowed, a relieved smile breaking out onto her face at the thought of the endless fighting between the two boys _finally _coming to an end. "If you make it that long, I'll give you some serious thought, _James_."

And with a grin and a "Until next time, Lily!", James Potter left Lily to her hiding place, whereupon she whipped Perseus' letter out from her pocket to read it. However, she barely managed to make it to the opening of the letter when she noticed something:

Perseus' handwriting on his letter, Severus' handwriting on his Potions paper, and Mulciber's handwriting on _his_ Potions paper...

...they were all identical.

**Author's Note**: Sorry for taking so long to post this, as I've been...err, distracted by my girlfriend. However, I am proud to say that Chapter 11 is now complete! Part One of this fic is over, and part two is about to begin. Trust me when I say that the complications are only set to multiply as time goes on.

A couple things to mention though:

1. If you guys are hoping for only a small amount of Lily and James, I'm afraid that you are set to be disappointed. Although it may or may not be the final pairing, there will be _a lot _of Lily/James if I keep following my outline.

2. You may be wondering why Lily's mother has apparently reacted even more to SWM than Lily did herself...well, bear in mind that what Lily told her parents might have been a skewed version of the truth. Shame she'll probably never realize it.


	12. Chagrined Misconceptions

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 12**

**Chagrined Misconceptions**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

_Medusa,_

_The fact that you would call me your friend is something that I value greatly, although I don't particularly need the help that you offer at the moment. Nonetheless, thank you._

_That is a rather glowing description of someone, and I'm sure that he appreciates knowing that you think so highly of him. However, I still doubt that he could best me at Potions, for there are VERY few who can even claim equality, if I do say so myself. _

_It is nice to see someone who doesn't automatically assume that ambition is a bad thing, for where would we be if we lacked the will to change our reality? Which is the very definition of ambition, in my opinion._

_However, I find myself greatly disagreeing with you in regards to the war. While I myself am unsure in regards to how far He is willing to go, that doesn't mean that I would ever find myself willing to risk my life to stop him. Although it may sound weak, I don't want to fight against my friends or room-mates, even if I disagree with them. _

_Besides, it's not like I would be in particular danger, given that I am not a Muggleborn. It removes the utter necessity of kill-or-be-killed from my thoughts on the matter, although it may sound rather cowardly._

_As for your parents, I suppose that there are three options for you:_

_You can go with your parents on the trip and not bring your friend._

_You can not go at all._

_You can try to argue with your parents about it._

_Which option you choose is up to you, I suppose, but you'll have to consider how important the vacation is to you versus a disagreement about who you can bring along with you. Do consider, though, that if they have good reasons for disliking your friend, it's unlikely that they'll change their mind about him._

_I wish you luck with your decision._

_Your friend, _

_Perseus_

_P.S. There is something that has been bothering me of late: is it normal for girls to pretend to be...dumber around their boyfriends? I have recently made the acquaintance of a girl who has a fairly active acumen, but you wouldn't know it if you saw how she acts around her bloke. Is this something that I should be concerned about?_

_Normally, I wouldn't bother, but she's actually rather enjoyable to talk to._

Lily stared at the lonely freckle dotting Severus' nose as she reread Perseus' letter for the fifth time. She was sitting across from the young Slytherin as he looked over his text-book, pursed his lips, and periodically jotted down some notes. He seemed comfortable, much in contrast to the young red-head watching him, although sometimes he would give her a strange look, whereupon Lily would try desperately to pretend that her attention was on her Charms text-book (the letter having been hidden inside).

It was an interesting little game, one which Lily sometimes lost, her face flushing with embarrassment as her companion caught her staring. For whatever reason, Severus always seemed pleased when this happened, his lips gifting her with a small smile.

In hindsight, it was quite obvious that Severus and Perseus were the same person, considering that they shared handwriting (Lily wanted to hit herself for missing their identical scripts), Perseus' clear brilliance at Potions (something which ruled out Mulciber, since he had barely scraped an 'Exceeds Expectations' on their O.W.L.s), Severus' clear discomfort around Lily's parents, and a host of other similarities (how could she have possibly missed Perseus' use of _Dunderheaded_?).

Really, Lily felt like the label of 'Dunderhead' would be perfectly applied to her, given how oblivious she had apparently been. She was his _best friend _after all, so shouldn't she have noticed this stuff?

It was part of the reason that she hadn't told Severus that she knew he was Perseus yet, the simple embarrassment of telling him that she had completely missed _all _of the signs that it was him. What would he think of her if he knew this? She knew that she'd have to tell him sooner or later, but she desperately wished that sooner didn't have to mean _today_.

Turning to look at her friend, Lily sighed once more, resting her young female chin upon her palm as she watched his dark eyes rove over the pages of his text-book.

Presently, the two of them were in Slughorn's classroom again, taking advantage of everyone else's absence to turn the room into their personal study area. In contrast to how it was during their class periods, the many desks had been pushed over to the wall, leaving only three for Lily, Severus and (whenever she happened to have a tutoring session with Severus) Evelyn. As such, there was a great deal more room to walk around the area, which Severus frequently made use of when they were working on Potions.

Slughorn didn't mind it when Severus had asked of course, provided that they give him credit for whatever they invented using his ingredients, something he was sure would be the case, given their _'incredible talent and thirst to prove yourselves!'_. It was incredible how helpful he was to the two of them at times, as was shown when the portly gentleman had accepted Severus' late-completed homework with no trouble whatsoever, Lily's privately informing him that James had stolen the work so as to ensure that Severus would get full credit.

Right now though, Severus and Lily were seated, Severus preparing for today's session with Evelyn while Lily got a little extra work done for her Charms class...or so she claimed to be doing. Instead her thoughts were distracting her far too much for her to even consider the uses of Disarming Charms and the like.

'And it's awful to think about it, how Severus must be feeling about the death of his mother. It must be hard enough to have a parent die, but to have them purposefully kill themselves... It's just terrible.' Lily felt her eyes grow hot and wet, like they had when she discovered about the death of Perseus' mother, but even more so since it was _Severus_. 'I wish that I had been able to help him, but he just wouldn't talk to me, only Medusa-'

"Lily, can I ask you something?"

Lily blinked, looking into Severus' intensely dark eyes, his hands clenched into fists as a single bead of sweat ran down the side of his sallow face. Happy to divert her thoughts from the sad tracks they had been going down, she nodded. "Sure, Sev, what is it?"

"Well...you know how Slughorn's making the meeting later this week a dance, right?" As Lily nodded again, Severus paused for a moment before continuing, seeming incredibly uncertain as he spoke. "Did you manage to get a date for it?"

Lily shrugged. She had completely forgotten about it, what with Severus being Perseus, her mother's letter, James having agreed to leave Severus alone, and Severus being _Perseus_. "I suppose not; Ja-...erm, Potter asked me about it a couple of weeks ago, but I said 'no' of course." Lily rolled her eyes, although it was mostly for Severus' benefit. She hoped that the two of them would eventually get along, but for the moment she didn't have her hopes up.

Severus nodded slowly, before returning his gaze to his book, although Lily noticed that his eyes weren't moving anymore, merely staring at the oft-written pages. A second bead of sweat joined the first in its slow trek downward as the red-head watched, thinking about the current situation.

She'd prefer not to go without a partner to dance with, in case there were no...'eligible' young men for her to dance with. The thought of being forced to dance with someone like Avery made her skin crawl. A sudden thought struck her. "Hey, Severus? Did you ask anyone to go with you yet?" Severus' face went pink, but he muttered a denial, bowing his head swiftly and allowing his hair to cover his visage. "Well, if you don't have anyone else to go with, want to go with me?"

Severus' eyebrows threatened to become one with his hair as his mouth opened into an 'O', his skin rapidly turning that unattractive shade of puce that it had back when she was dealing with the aftermath of the 'James-kiss' incident. He seemed as if he were carved out of reddish stone, merely staring at the young woman waiting patiently for him to respond.

After several minutes of waiting though, Lily started to feel rather annoyed at this; really, it wasn't such a hard question, was it? "Well, Sev? If you don't want to come, that's fine, but quit staring at me like I've grown another head!"

Severus shook his head, his dark, stringy hair flying too in fro as he held his hands out in a placating manner. "Err...Sorry! That'll be...just fine, I think. I just...I'll pick you up at seven-thirty?" finished the boy weakly, seeming befuddled.

Lily smiled darkly as she wagged her finger at the worried-looking boy. "Uh-uh, we might just be going as friends, but you're going to be my 'date', got it? That means all date rules apply, and I'm not going to let you go there looking all woebegone like you do in class. It's your business normally, but this is a dance. It's a formal occasion! So stand up, arms spread, so I can see what we have to do."

Lily's eyes narrowed as Severus practically leaped out of his seat, roving all over boy's lean form in contemplation. Walking around Severus, she poked at his stomach, felt his hair, and generally tried to examine every inch of his body. She wanted to make sure that he would look his best, after all, and Severus rarely dressed to impress, so she decided to help him out.

Oddly enough, it was far less awkward than the teenage girl had expected, as Severus held his body perfectly still while she examined him. He was generally warm to the touch in most places, warmer than Lily would have expected down here in the dungeons, and she caught herself rubbing his stomach a bit, her fingers clearly enjoying the warmth. He possessed very little in the way of fat, being so skinny and lean that Lily made a mental note to get him to eat more, as he was clearly quite unhealthy.

Finally she finished her inspection and took a step back, nodding slowly as he quickly, awkwardly sat down, placing a book in his lap as his face flushed. "Alright, make sure that you wear some nice black robes, or some other dark color if you can charm it or something. Wash your hair and face a bunch this week, alright?"

There was a pause, as Severus looked at her strangely. "Err, is that it? Just wash myself extra and wear dark clothes?"

Lily allowed a giggle to escape her lips at how put-off Severus seemed to look, sitting down across from the sallow young man as she spoke, "Well...yeah, dark clothes already go well with your body, and it's not like you want to wear a bunch of make-up or jewelry, do you?" As Severus shuddered, she continued with a grin, "Didn't think so. Just keep yourself neat and tidy and you'll look plenty decent to be my date, alright?"

Severus nodded, removing the book from his lap and resting it on the table between them. A thoughtful look crossed his face as he spoke, "I doubt that charms would work, not if someone like Potter's around. He'd try to undo the charm if he could... I suppose I can ask Arcturus if he has something dark I can borrow though, as a favor..."

Lily frowned, but decided not to mention that James probably wouldn't bother with undoing Severus' charms for much longer. No need to get his hopes up for a promise that Lily wasn't sure James would keep. However, it did bring something else to Lily's attention... "Severus, I was looking at the homework you lost...and the handwriting looks rather like the piece Mulciber turned in. Care to explain?"

Suddenly, the room's temperature seemed to drop a few degrees, Lily shivering as the warmth surrounding the conversation was sucked away. Severus appeared to notice it too, as he spluttered, his face pale as he searched for words, but Lily spoke first. "Would you mind telling me why you're doing his homework for him?"

"Not really _doing_ it," muttered the Slytherin boy lamely. "I'm just correcting it for him..."

Lily gave him a knowing look, crossing her arms as she looked at him."Sev, the only handwriting in it was yours. Tell me now, or I'll have to go talk to Slughorn about it. If Mulciber's _making _you do this..."

"No, it's not that. It's just..." Severus sighed, giving her a careful look before saying quietly, "Well, Mulciber's got a lot of stuff to take care of this year, you know, and he needed a favor..." Taking note of how Lily's eyebrows were disappearing into her own hair, he quickly continued, "You see, he does the work, just...he's kinda _bad _at writing essays is all. And I wanted to go to some of those parties, so he offered to put in a good word for me if I...gave his essays a bit of attention. Please don't tell Slughorn! Alright?"

Lily leaned back in her chair, digesting what Severus had told her as she stared into his pleading eyes. "Fine, I won't tell Slughorn, but you shouldn't be forced to do Mulciber's homework for-"

The two of them were interrupted by the sounds of a piercingly-girlish giggle coming from outside the door. An annoyingly high-pitched voice came through the door, "Don't worry, Douglas, I've just got to take care of this tutoring session, then the two of us can have all night for...other stuff."

"Tutoring session?" The door swung open, revealing Evelyn Matthews and the Slytherin boy she had been dating of late, Douglas DeWitt if Lily recalled correctly. He seemed embarrassed, and edged away from the Ravenclaw girl as she gave him a beaming, vapid smile. "Uh, I'll see you later, Matthews!"

"Bye, Hon'!" And with great speed, the boy darted down the corridor and out of sight, whereupon Evelyn's smile turned much cooler. "Hello, Severus...Lily. Here to spy on Severus and me again? The thoughts of our Potions lessons together that riveting to you, hmm?"

"_Hardly_, I was just leaving," snipped Lily, turning back to Severus and saying in a much lighter tone of voice. "So...I'll pick you up this Friday, at seven?"

Severus nodded, before asking curiously, "Evelyn...that was your boyfriend, right?"

"Who cares?" whispered Lily under her breath.

Evelyn spared a glower for the Gryffindor girl, before saying with a happy little smile, "Yup! Douglas is my boyfriend, and he's gonna take me to the dance on Friday! He's really great, and we're having an incredible time together."

Barely restraining the urge to point out that of course a girl like _her _would be having a great time, Lily gave Severus a wave, mouthed 'good luck', and left.  


* * *

Several hours later, Lily was back in her dorm room, the only one awake amongst her sleeping (and in the case of Sabrina, loudly snoring) roommates. The combined total of all of Perseus' letters laid on her lap as she sat at the head of the bed, her wand emitting a soft white light which her curtains kept from escaping to the rest of the room.

Telling Severus that she knew he was Perseus had been the right thing to do, really the smarter thing to do...but Lily hadn't done it, for what reasons she didn't know yet. The red-head just kept reading all of his letters again and again, phrases leaping at her as she pored over each one, some bearing messages of happiness, others sadness, and a few bringing guilt.

Each one of them contained some small piece of the boy that she didn't know, not as Lily Evans.

_...not being supportive of the blood-purity concept is not a popular opinion to announce among my peers. This is another reason I am appreciative of the fact that we shall never actually meet._

Had she ever asked Severus about it? Had she ever truly spoken to the dark young man about what he believed? Lily couldn't remember a time that they had ever truly spoken about it, now that she thought of it. Severus had never truly attempted to explain anything, and she had never asked, certain in her own opinions.

_Besides, in addition to simple self-defence, if one is shown to be dark and dangerous, it is possible to avoid some battles before they begin by the simple fact that one's opponents are too scared to fight. It doesn't work all the time, but would a warrior rather strike an armed warrior or a defenceless peon?_

Was this what Severus thought? That if he could be strong enough, dangerous enough, that he might be safe? What could possibly be so terrifying that he felt that he needed the power of the Dark Arts to ward them off? Surely the Death Eaters were not so big of a concern for a half-blood Slytherin, and if anything _really _awful were to happen with the Marauders, then certainly Dumbledore would step in, right?

Regardless, it was another piece of Severus that she had missed, and now Lily was left to chastise herself for missing so much of him.

Was the reason she had missed all of these pieces because she had been unobservant? Had she been so busy dealing with the seemingly endless madness of her own life that she had missed parts of Severus, important ones. Certainly, her life had the capacity to be quite confusing, but she had always prided herself that she knew more about Severus than anyone...so this had proved to be quite the rude awakening.

But how could she rectify this? It wasn't like Severus would just _tell _her these things (after all, he hadn't told them to her in umpteen years of friendship), and it wasn't as if she had access to his thoughts...

Lily stopped, a smile spreading across her face as she sat up, her green eyes sparking with excitement; she _had _a way to access his thoughts! All she needed to do was send him letters as Medusa, and he would tell her what she needed to know as _Lily_! It was almost the perfect plan!

Besides, perhaps she use Medusa could get him to listen on some of the things he was always obstinate about, like his stupid friends! It was practically win-win. She could find out all of the things she had missed about Severus, and he would _finally _realize that he was better off without those parasitical prats.

Nodding, she began to write, weighing her words with a care that she had never used before:

_Dear Perseus,_

_I am glad to hear that you feel that way about me; I value you very much as a friend already, trust me._

Probably more than he would ever know, Lily suspected.

_He certainly merits the glowing description, and I'm sure he does appreciate knowing how impressed I am with him. However, he is most assuredly your equal in the art of Potions. Ah well, you can use a few equals, so it isn't that big of a problem, right?_

_What are your ambitions though, Perseus? Sure, they can be the cause of some of the greatest joys of our world, but only if the thing you are ambitious to do is something great. If it's simply to show off...then it's probably not going to do anyone any good, right?_

Lily considered this for a moment, then nodded decisively, her quill finishing off the question mark with a flourish. It seemed an excellent way to get Severus thinking a bit. However, now the war topic was to be brought up...how could she make use of this? Carefully, she put her pen to the parchment and continued:

_I can understand the desire not to fight against one's friends, but do you have any friends who might be on the other side? You know, the one fighting AGAINST the Death Eaters. What if by not fighting, you put those friends in danger? Even if you weren't in personal danger, would you be able to stand knowing what you COULD have prevented?_

_As for my parents..._

Lily paused, her brow furrowed as the topic that had seemed so important before Perseus' latest letter came screaming to the back of her mind. What could she do about her parents? Well, it wasn't like she could tell Severus she was going without him, she'd never be able to stomach the idea of leaving him behind even if she did get in trouble with her parents, so that wasn't an option.

Maybe she'd be better off trying to persuade her father otherwise... He had always liked Severus more than Petunia or her mother had. Perhaps he'd have a better chance of changing Marigold's mind...

_...thanks very much for the tips, I'll keep them all in mind as I think about it. It shouldn't be too big of a deal though, regardless._

Lily then frowned as she read the postscript of Perseus' letter; it was obvious now that she knew that he and Severus were one and the same that the boy was referring to _Evelyn_. It made it a lot harder for her to summon up any sympathy for the girl, knowing who she was and how she acted all the time, using her body to get men like some sort of whore.

Still, the stringy-haired blond was a hell of a sight better than those beasts like Mulciber and Avery were as friends, and perhaps Severus could be a good influence on her anyway, so Lily wrote:

_Some girls do act like that, particularly the ones who are gold-diggers or the like._

Lily sent a rather nasty look over at Sabrina, who had just let out another particularly loud snore. Sabrina might not be a gold-digger, but most wouldn't know it with how she acted around James, like the most vapid of women.

_Still, perhaps she doesn't realize that she is doing it, or thinks that most men would find that attractive in a girl. Frankly, it's a rather foolish thing for them to do, but that's life in the seventies. If you have to pretend to be some vapid twit to get a guy's attention, then clearly you are better off without him. I know I'd rather my 'significant other' be comfortable with my intelligence, you know?_

_Regardless, your best bet is probably to talk to her, or maybe that friend of yours that you keep mentioning. If you need more help though, I'd be happy to provide it._

_Your friend,  
Medusa_

Lily paused to analyze it one last time, checking for things that might give away her secret, then finally nodded as she deemed it worthy. After writing a quick letter to her father, explaining how she felt that her mother was being overly dramatic, she dashed up to the owlery (never had she been more thankful that she was a Prefect, so she could go out like this) and sent them both off, using a school owl for the one she sent to her father.

**Author's Note: **There were a number of reviews wondering if James had been asking his father for advice about Lily, based on a line I used. As I was revising the chapter anyway for better grammar, I took the time to make it a bit more clear as to his intent.

_I apologize for not mentioning it of late, but the brilliant Anachronistic Anglophile has been betaing this work, so if I forgot to mention it, the past several chapters are all thanks to her. She has an interesting and humorous fic btw that I highly recommend reading, called 'Tom Riddles Time'. Trust me, it's not what you think it is!_

_Also, be sure to check out 'The Dool Tree', another of her works that I am heavily involved in. It's a blend of SS/HG and SS/LE, but it's taking a while to get set up, so be patient._


	13. Surprises in Slughorn's Office

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 13**

**Surprises in Slughorn's Office**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

"By Merlin's beard, he's taking _forever_!" whined the Gryffindor girl as she waited outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room, periodically glancing at a nearby clock. It read 7:15, a full fifteen minutes after her date was _supposed _to have been out. "Where is that prat?"

Harrumphing, Lily settled her back against the nearby wall, opposite to the one that Severus had told her was the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. Given the Slytherins entering and exiting periodically (a full half of them looking at her as if she bore some sort of disease), Lily knew she was in the right place, albeit perhaps not the right place for _her_.

It was the day of Slughorn's Slug Club party, nearly a week since Lily had sent her latest letter to Perseus, and he was clearly just as late as Perseus' reply. (Seriously, how long could it take to reply to a letter sent from the very place in which one is _living_?). After a bit of thought, Lily had decided to take this 'date' seriously, and had dressed herself accordingly. She was dressed in a silver-blue dress with a delicate, wavelike pattern, accented with silver jewelery and strappy high-heels.

Unfortunately, the young woman was beginning to get more than a little nervous at the cold looks and occasional lustful leer coming from passerby, but in the age-old manner of Gryffindors everywhere, she channeled that discomfort into angry bluster. "If he's not here soon, I'll wring his pasty little neck!"

"Please," came a gracefully-smooth voice from behind her. "Don't tell me that you were referring to _me_, I'd rather my neck remain un-wrung, to be _quite_ honest."

Lily whirled around, only to see Severus Snape standing there, dressed in robes of dark blue. His hair was...pretty much unchanged, though it looked like he'd tried to clean it...and as for his face, it was marginally less oily. "Wha...how?" spluttered the redhead in surprise, at once cursing her inability to finish a sentence.

"How did I sneak up on you?" Severus finished. He paused, cheeks flushing as a sheepish little smile crept upon his face. "Actually, I forgot that _you_ were coming to pick _me_ up. I'd been waiting for nigh half an hour at the Fat Lady's portrait before I remembered."

"Well, I'm glad you're here now," replied Lily, fighting the urge to laugh as she pictured Severus impatiently waiting outside the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room, checking his watch every minute as he tapped his feet uselessly on the stone floor. Offering the embarrassed young man her hand in a suave motion, she grinned. "Shall we get going, oh date of mine?"

Severus' cheeks burned, and he swallowed several times before taking her offered hand in his, saying in an awfully quiet tone of voice, "Yeah, that would be fine, I guess."

And with that, the couple began the short walk to Slughorn's office, Lily chatting about who she suspected was taking who to the party, Severus nodding for the most part, occasionally interjecting with a grunt. He did seem pleased though when he heard that apparently Sirius Black had been caught trying to take two different girls to the dance; of course, given that both were twins in Hufflepuff, perhaps that was understandable, although neither of the girls saw it that way.

However, Lily soon grew rather disappointed at how little Severus was saying, as the boy was so tight-lipped that Lily feared that he might never speak again. He seemed terrified to speak, much as he (being Perseus) seemed afraid to talk about the death and suicide of his mother.

It was something that hurt the young Gryffindor greatly, knowing that her best friend had refused to speak to her about something which had bothered him greatly and, if Lily didn't miss her guess, was at least part of the reason he had come up to her house that cold winter night in the first place. 'However, that is something that I _can _change, although I'll have to be subtle about it, so he won't realize that I know about her death.'

Opening her mouth, Lily began to speak in calm, pleasant tones, "Speaking of Sirius Black's awful mum and dad, I was thinking that maybe it might be possible for your mum and my parents to have a little get-together around Easter. Think that that might be a possibility?" Smiling a falsely bright smile, Lily congratulated herself for her skill and tact as she continued, "I don't think that they've spoken in years, now that I think of it."

"I dunno..." Severus' voice cracked as he replied, his words sounding strained even as he spoke. "It probably wouldn't be a good idea. She'd probably be...indisposed, I think." He then changed the subject. "We're almost there now, no more than a couple of minutes."

"Severus...are you alright?" spoke Lily tentatively, biting her lip as she looked at the boy. His face seemed calm, but now that Lily was looking, she could see something in his eyes, something that seemed like a bitter mixture of pain and...fear. "Is there something going on with your mum that you don't want me to know about?"

Severus stopped, his face turned away from Lily's as he stood in the corridor, the people around them cutting past the duo. He swallowed and slowly, ever so slowly, turned to face Lily, his eyes shadowed and skin seeming particularly pale as he said in a near-whisper, "I...I...not now. Can we talk about this later?"

Lily nodded, biting her lip as she realized how much pain was in his eyes. "Alright, Severus. After the dance."

The rest of the short walk was subdued, and Lily reflected that it felt more like a funeral march than a 'date' as they strode through the corridors, neither speaking a word to each other. Lily cursed herself for her error in judgment: bringing up a topic like that would have been a much better idea _afterward_, now that she had taken a moment to consider her actions.

'Well, that was just brilliant Lily. Really, really _brilliant_.'

* * *

Much as Lily expected, Slughorn's office had been magically expanded to accomodate the dance-floor needed. As it was by invite only, Lily was rather surprised by the somewhat-large turnout, well past fifty if her head-count was accurate.

It seemed divided into a couple of main areas: the obligatory snack-bar, the lit-up dance floor (complete with a disco ball to her surprise-Muggle inventions were rather rarely seen in the Wizarding World), and several dimmed areas, suitable for 'couple activities'. The normal deitritus of the Potions Master was conveniently absent, instead replaced by a collection of Wizarding portraits and sconces.

To Lily's great fortune, Severus seemed to recover from her inadvertant verbal faux pas by the time that they arrived. Then again, perhaps he was simply so nervous that he didn't have time to consider them. Lily could hardly blame the boy, what with how she couldn't recall him having gone on a single date in all the time that she had known him.

True, Lily had only gone out on one or two dates of her own, what with how James had been claiming her as his territory for so many years, but even so that meant she had had far more romantic experience than her friend.

Trying to help him...hopefully better than she had last time, Lily whispered in the young Slytherin's ear, "Don't worry, Sev, it's nothing to be nervous about, just a 'date' with your childhood best friend, no-one special." Seeing Severus' face still tensed up, Lily continued with a chuckle, "If it makes you feel better, picture everybody in their knickers. That might do the trick."

Severus let out a small gasp as Lily poked him in the side. "Come on, it usually does the trick when I'm feeling nervous in DADA. You know, when the professor is making us perform a complicated spell or something."

"Kni...Lily...DADA?" replied Severus in a somewhat dazed tone of voice. He turned to look at her, blushed, then turned away again. "You...? But we take the same... Wha?"

Starting to feel rather impatient at Severus' antics, Lily rolled her eyes at his back. "Yes, Severus, your female best friend happens to think of guys in their undergarments. Get over it." Seeing that most of the people there were heading out onto the section of floor allocated for dancing, Lily grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him along with her. "Besides, the dance is about to start, and I personally don't want to be the only pair not dancing at a _dance_. There's probably a law against it or something."

"Just give me a second." Severus pulled away and took a deep breath, looking her in the eyes as he adjusted his tie. "Alright, let's do this properly..." Clearing his throat, his face flushing a bit pink, Severus then said in a smooth voice, bowing formerly before her as he spoke, "May I have this dance, Miss Evans?"

Feeling a slight flush of her own starting to erupt, Lily offered him her hand and grinned. "I would be delighted, Mr. Snape." As he took her hand and started to lead her out onto the dance floor, she whispered in his ear, "By the way, nice touch with the sexy-smooth voice. Your next girlfriend is sure to dig it."

Severus stumbled, almost tripping over his robes, then recovered as Lily watched, unable to contain her giggles. Laying a hand on him, she spoke in an almost-pitying, patronizing tone of voice, "Severus, you _really_ need to get used to the fact that your best friend is a _girl_. And yes, I do happen to like the idea of guys, romance, and _other stuff_. You don't need to get your knickers in a twist when I say that your voice is sexy!"

Severus swallowed, shook his head, and then muttered, "I am well aware of the fact that you are female, Lily. You have no need to be concerned about that. Now, shall we ge-"

"_-How dare you_!"

Severus was interrupted by a sudden yell. He stared at Lily in confusion. Turning slowly, Lily looked over at the area by punch bowl, where a crowd had was gathering, blocking the shouter from view. Another shout rang out, coming from the same voice, vaguely recognizable as female behind the hurt and pain suffusing it.

"_You said that you were going with ME, not HER_!"

"Severus, you're a lot taller than I am. Can you see who it is?" asked Lily, trying to peer through the crowd to see who was speaking. So far, all that she could tell was that whoever it was was wearing a pale green dress.

Severus nodded, balancing on the balls of his feet as he tried to peek over. "I think I can see them..." He frowned, a dark glint appearing in his coal-black eyes. "It looks like...that Douglas fellow, you know, Evelyn's boyfriend. Two other girls are there too I think... Something Fawcett if I recall correctly and...Evelyn. I think it's Evelyn that's shouting."

"_I never want to see you again as long as I live, you...you TOERAG_!" As she finished shouting, Evelyn burst out of the crowd. Tears staining her makeup, she hurtled out of the room, voices murmuring behind her as Douglas looked around, embarrassment coloring his cheeks pink.

"Ugh, what a prat. Must've decided to go with someone else and didn't tell Evelyn, the toerag. Even _she _didn't deserve that." Lily's eyes narrowed in dislike and contempt as she turned back to the dance floor, Severus' arm in hers. However, she soon found herself halted, as Severus wasn't moving with her. Sighing, Lily poked him in the side. "Come on, Sev, let's not let this ruin our night."

There was a moment of silence, as Severus turned to look at her. Her voice left her as she saw the torn look in his eyes, the nameless fear that seemed to nestle there as if it had been born in the darkness of his black irises. He stared at her, the intensity in his eyes making Lily blush as he seemed to memorize her face, although she did not know why.

Finally, he sighed and spoke, carefully removing Lily's arm from his as he did so, "I'm going to go see if there's anything I can do to help her. I'm sorry, it might be a while."

"Then I'm coming with!"

Lily made to follow him, but Severus shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. You and her don't seem to get along...at all. Don't worry though, you can..." His nose scrunched up in distaste as he spoke. "..._dance _with the other boys while I'm gone. I'm really, _really _sorry about this..."

The young Gryffindor growled softly, but bowed to the truth in his words. "Fine then, but be quick about it!"

As he left, his long, swift strides quickly carrying him out of the room, Lily fought her feelings of disappointment. Although they were only going as friends, Lily had hoped to have a few dances with Severus. Some frivolous, meaningless fun would have been nice, hopefully bringing some enjoyment to his life after the discovery of his mother's suicide and her mother's dis-inviting him from their vacation.

Not to mention, she had hoped to have a few dances for her own sake. Now she was alone, with no date and no Severus. Sighing, she glanced around for something to do while she waited for him. "Merlin, this is annoying."

"Yeah, what a prat."

Lily blinked and turned around, seeing Sabrina Percival standing there, dressed in an expensive, fiery-red dress. The wealthiest girl in Gryffindor frowned in the direction where Severus had gone running off. Remus trailed a few feet behind the girl, blushing madly as he clasped one of her hands in his own, Sabrina either not noticing or allowing it without comment.

Shaking her head, Lily sighed, leaning against a nearby wall for support, pretending to be interested in the decorations that adorned Slughorn's surprisingly-large office. "Severus wanted to go see what was going on with Evelyn. He'll be back in a bit."

"If he doesn't spend the rest of the night with her _in flagrante delicto_, you mean," muttered Sabrina in distaste, tapping her foot. "Honestly, even she doesn't deserve that..."

"Don't talk about Sev like that!" growled Lily, narrowing her eyes and glaring at her blond companion. "He wouldn't do something like _that_, trust me."

"You said the same thing about him not becoming a Death Eater," replied Sabrina with a sniff, crossing her arms as she responded with a glare of her own. "And look how that turned out, _hmm_? He called you a...a 'you-know-what' in front of the whole school! Is it really so hard to believe that he'd deny someone like Evelyn for the sake of a 'just-friends' date?"

"Oh, shut up!" Part of Lily wanted to tell the snooty girl about how she had seen Severus standing outside their house for hours, trying to work up the courage to talk to her, so desperate he was willing to do anything to have her friendship back. However, _that _was private, something she'd never reveal to someone like _Sabrina_. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to the dance, bye!"

"But you don't have anyone to dance with!" pointed out Sabrina, Remus standing beside her in silent witness to the conversation between the two. "What ar-"

"Actually, I would be happy to dance with her," came a smooth voice from behind Lily, making her jump.

It was James, dressed in a nice set of dark purple dress robes, albeit with a Zonko's tag coming out of one of the pockets. In spite of this, for the moment he seemed a savior to the pressed Gryffindor girl. As such, she sniffed at the other girl, enjoying her outrage as she spoke, "And I would be delighted to share a dance with you too, Mr. Potter."

"But she...but you..." Sabrina was gobsmacked, much like Severus had been earlier. However, Lily merely grinned as she allowed James to guide her onto the dance floor.

"Well, shall we get started?" said James with a proud grin, tossing a wave in the direction of Black and Pettigrew, neither of which had apparently managed to get dates for the dance. Bending toward her, he whispered in Lily's ear,"I've been waiting for this moment for what seems like _years _now."

"That's nuh...nice, James," breathed out Lily, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. Curse those blasted stomach butterflies!

And then they started to dance, a rather fast song that Lily remembered as being pretty popular in the sixties. Smiling, she did her best to keep up with the fast beat as she tried to remember the steps, embarrassedly grinning up at James as she did so. He grinned back momentarily, but a few seconds later, he winced. "What is it, James?"

"It's err...nothing, Lily," replied the Gryffindor boy with a strained smile, his tones flattering nonetheless. "I just...where did you learn to dance like that?"

"Uh..." Lily blushed, even more self-conscious but managing to get out, "I taught myself, why?"

They continued dancing, Lily trying valiantly to keep up with the music, trusting in her 'inner dancer' to see her through. However, soon she tripped over something, almost falling onto the floor. Luckily, she was caught by James, although for some reason his face seemed etched with pain. "Sorry about that, I must've tripped over something."

"Yes...my foot," choked out the Gryffindor Quidditch captain. "_How_ long are those heels of yours?"

"Err, three inches, sorry," replied Lily, wincing as she finally realized why he was asking. Apparently, her dancing skills weren't quite up to what she remembered. Momentarily wishing that the floor would swallow her, she forced a smile. "It won't happen again, I promise."

The sound of muffled snorting came from Lily's left, and she saw, in the corner of her eyes, Sabrina standing in the corner, covering her mouth with a mirthful glint in her eyes. Remus, although not saying a word, was clearly fighting a grin.

James, starting to get a bit red in the face, swallowed before saying in a tight tone of voice, "Alright, just go a bit slower next time. This shouldn't be so hard. Honestly, Evans, do you ever-" He cut himself off, muttering, "-Never mind."

Lily did as she was told, dancing quite a bit slower, feeling rather stupid as it was a very fast song. She probably looked as if she were doing everything in slow-motion, what with how ponderous her movements were. She was sure that could hear the snickers and whispers of her classmates all around her, mocking how pathetic she was.

In spite of how slow she was going though, not too much time passed before James yelped in pain. Almost on cue, the entire room burst into laughter: derisive, scornful laughter. The other dancers around them stopped; their laughter prevented them from continuing with their own waltzes. Some of them clutched at their sides, and they all were pointing at the silly girl standing there with her mortified partner.

His face bright red with embarrassment, James then growled harshly, "Are you _trying _to humiliate me, Lily? Is this to get back at me or something?"

"It's not...it's not like I'm doing it on purpose," whispered the young Gryffindor, trying to apologize as she backed away from him, as well as the crowd around him. Her eyes began to heat up, tears starting to leak out of them as she desperately wished that this moment had all been a horrible dream.

James snorted, his hands clenched into fists. "Well, honestly, you've got to be the worst dancer, _ever_." Turning away in disgust, he stomped off, leaving Lily alone admidst the snickering crowd.

Fleeing swiftly, Lily was almost to the edge of the dance floor when she collided into something warm, falling back onto her bum. "Ow."

Wincing at the pain, she looked up, tears burning in her eyes; Severus was there, and he was clearly displeased.

* * *

Several minutes had passed by since her escape. Lily was thankful that Severus had managed to find them a dark corner in which they might 'lurk', although she couldn't help but be disquieted at how Severus hadn't said a word since she had nearly knocked him over, _after _dancing with James Potter.

Obviously, she could hardly expect him to be pleased, but she wasn't enjoying his anger.

"Err...hi?" spoke Lily tentatively, seeing how Severus' mouth had set itself into a thin line and his eyes seemed dark with fury. "How did it go with Evelyn?"

"Fine," came the terse reply. "The _prat_ DeWitt apparently decided that he didn't want anyone to actually realize that he was going to the dance with the girl he was shagging, so he went with Emily Fawcett. In a particularly _disgusting_..." He glared at Lily as he said this, making her wince. "...bit of treachery, he neglected to tell the person he was going with that he had wanted to go with someone else, and now that this _someone else _was available, to hell with the person he was going with!"

"That's...really awful of him," replied Lily lamely. "He really should have at least her..."

Severus' glare seemed to intensify, however he limited himself to a tightly-spoken "Indeed." before falling silent, turning away from her.

Several minutes passed like this, Lily sat in tear-streaked shame against the wall while Severus stood rigidly beside her. 'Well, this is probably the worst dance in the history of the school,' mused the girl bitterly. 'In thirty minutes, I've managed to nearly impale James Potter's left _and _right feet, enrage my best friend, and humiliate myself in front of a fair portion of the school. Just bloody great.'

Finally, Lily sighed, standing up. Unable to look at her friend, she spoke quietly, "Well, I guess I'll head back to the Gryffindor dorms. I've probably done enough damage for one evening-"

"No!"

Lily blinked, turning toward Severus in surprise. His face was cloaked in shadows, but his voice had been determined. "Um, what?"

"I...I wanted to have at least one..." Severus gritted his teeth audibly, his words as tight as his posture. "...dance with y...my date. You can go after that, but..." His voice suddenly seemed almost pleading as he spoke, "...just have one dance with me before you go, alright?"

Lily's mouth fell open in shock, causing her to splutter, "But...but I'm _horrible_! You saw how I stomped all over Potter's feet out there! Do you _still _want to dance with me after seeing _that_?"

"I don't care!" shouted the dark-haired boy defiantly, crossing his arms. "I'm not going without that dance."

"That's...but I...but you..._Fine_!" Lily threw up her hands in the air in exasperation, her face hot with a strange mix of anger, humiliation and desperation. "Come on then, let's have that dance quickly so we can go home, got it!"

And with that, they walked back onto the dance floor, Lily doing her best to ignore the snickers of those around her. Holding Severus's hands in each of hers, she began to dance with (as she knew very well by now) all the grace of a flying elephant, that is to say: none. In under a minute, she saw Severus wince, and knew that she had stepped on him, just like she had done the whole night with James. Whispering desperately in his ear, she gritted out, "See? I'm _horrible_! Can't we just _go_?"

Severus glared at her for several seconds, then took a deep breath and muttered, "Just hold on a second, Lily." Slowly, he pushed her back a few feet, and held each of her hands lightly in hers. "Alright, let's try this. Just take a step forward with your right foot, then retract it, then do the same with your left foot. Do it at four second intervals, alright?"

"What!"

Severus looked as if he were about to tear his own hair out. "It's like _Potions_, just with feet instead of hands! Now hold mine and let's get this over with."

Once more, they started to dance, Lily's nerves as taut as they had ever been although Severus seemed strangely at much greater ease. Any second now, she was going to stomp on Severus' foot again, probably breaking it this time for good measure. Any second now...

Any second...

Any second...

However, the only interruption to the music was caused by the record player changing songs, not a single wince passing over her date's features. In fact, slowly, Severus began to smile, even as Lily's eyes widened. "You see, Lily? Nothing to it."

"But...how?" Lily's voice was just as stunned as she was, her mouth gaping wide with shock.

Severus actually let out a short, mirthful laugh. "Potions, Miss Evans, Potions. Have you _ever _failed to complete a potion assignment before, in your bloody life? I think not!"

"There is no _way _that Potions was the key to getting me to dance properly," retorted Lily, her eyes narrowing even as she fought the urge to giggle insanely. "You have to have done something else, cast some sort of spell on me or what-not, because there isn't the slightest _possibility _that it was Potions that did it!"

"Well..." said Severus slowly, his clear joy making his eyes seem to dance. "...I suppose that there might have been _something _else..."

"Ahah!"

Severus merely chuckled. "I just did for you what an old friend of mine did for me, Miss Evans."

"So what sort of spell was it?" asked Lily curiously, even as she continued to dance, now turning slowly as Severus gently prodded her. "And what friend?"

"No spell, no spell. It's nothing more than letting you get used to the simple steps. Really, anyone could do it. As for what friend..." He sighed, looking at her with calculating eyes. "It was Narcissa Malfoy."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Narcissa Malfoy taught you to dance? Miss 'I'm so much better than you because I'm a Black' taught _you _how to dance! You must be joking."

"Yeah...she and I became good acquintances while she was here..." Severus' voice turned rather pensive. "She told me that if I knew how to dance well, then I'd be better off than most pur...bachelors."

Lily laughed whole-heartedly. "Well, I can't say I care much for _some _of her ideas...but maybe I'll have to ask her for a few tips if she can turn a mild-mannered Slytherin into a dancing god!"

"I have only begun to show you my abilities," replied Severus gravely, although a joyful light still showed in his eyes, somehow transfiguring his face into a thing of beauty. Those eyes no longer seemed like walls, but rather doors, and his face seemed as expressive as his long, spindly fingers. It made Lily's heart warm.

"I'd be delighted, Mr. Snape." Lily smiled, feeling her cheeks flush as Severus guided her into the next dance, taking a moment to first explain the steps to it.

It wasn't until the last song had come to a close that the two of them finally stopped.

* * *

"Severus, that was bloody _brilliant_, best night out I've ever had!"

"Well, I suppose that tonight was...acceptable..."

"Acceptable? Fine, be that way! I'm still saying that it was brilliant, though!" Lily couldn't help but grin as Severus walked her back to Gryffindor Tower, her hand in his as she let it swing freely. "We should definitely, _definitely _do that again some time, Mr. Snape, god of dancing!"

After dancing for nearly two hours straight, Lily was more tired than she had been the night of her Potions O.W.L., and she had spent the entire day _and _night before that studying for it. However, she felt drunk and tipsy, in a way that no amount of spiked punch could possibly explain. She was absolutely _exhilarated_, positively silly to be honest. As such, she practically shouted, "This was the best date _ever_!"

"Really?" asked Severus from behind her, sounding oddly timid. "I...It was that good?"

Lily turned and nodded with such force that for a moment she feared she had broken her neck. "Good? Severus, I am saying that it was _brilliant_! Hell, _James Potter _would want to date you after a night like this!"

Severus seemed rather ill at the thought. "I...I'll take your word for that."

And without further conversation, they arrived at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. Turning around, Lily grinned at her dark-haired companion. "Well, I guess this is it..."

Severus nodded, seeming awfully glum. "Yeah, I guess that it is... See you tomorrow?"

Lily gave another nod, giggling in her silliness. "Certainly! Right before Potions class, just like today...or is it yesterday now?"

"Alright, see you then." With that, Severus turned to go, only to be stopped by a quiet cough from Lily. "Uh, yes, Lily?"

"I think you're _forgetting _something!" sing-songed Lily, slipping a little closer.

"What?" Severus seemed baffled for a moment, then his mouth seemed to open in an 'o'. "Oh right, I forgot to tell you-"

"Not that, Sev, _this_." And while Severus' eyes widened, Lily pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss, before leaning back to gaze at her gob-smacked friend. "You're supposed to kiss your date goodnight, _duh_. Now, go ahead and run along, Sev! See you tomorrow!"

Severus didn't move for nearly a minute, although he managed to wave as Lily stepped through the portrait hole, saying in a vague sort of voice,

"See you...tomorrow..."

**Author's Note: **A number of people asked if Lily realized that Severus' mother was Perseus' and just committed suicide. The answer to why she didn't mention it so much was simply put: the chapter was more focused on the two of them and Lily's immediate reaction to the discovery.

I do hope that the dance seemed realistic :).


	14. Disgust, Deceptions and Death

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 14**

**Disgust, Deceptions and Death**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

Warm and comfortable, the white, woolen blankets cossetted her in peaceful serenity while the pale green sheets kept her soft skin safe from the itchy material. Even the muted buzzing of the overhead fan was pleasant to the young woman's senses as she stretched her legs under the covers, rolling over, trying to bury herself in just a little bit more comfort.

Lily felt another presence beside her, warm and welcome as it brushed against her left shoulder. Pulling away, the presence took some of the blankets with it, leaving Lily's right foot a little bit chilly in spite of the humid spring morning. Apparently, her sparkled purple, green and brown nightgown didn't keep the fan's breeze from cooling her off.

"Mmmm...stop stealing...my covers..." muttered the red-head into her pillows, not moving despite her discomfort.

A muffled, male voice responded in sleepy tones, "You stole them first..."

"Yeah...but they're white," responded Lily, giving him a small shove. "You know...that white covers...belong to girls...not guys..."

There was a brief pause, during which the sneaky witch pulled some of the covers back. Finally, the person laying there sighed and drew back a bit, causing her to smile as he made room for her. "You're right, Lily, I must've forgotten. Here you go." Suddenly, Lily felt a good bit warmer, as she knew that the thief had returned the blankets.

After a little bit of thought though, she allowed the young man to wriggle closer to her, so that they could both stay warm. Just because the blankets were white didn't mean she couldn't share.

Several minutes went by quietly, the Fruit Loops toucan cawing audibly in the distance, but even that seemed more subdued to her. It had been ages since she had gotten such a great night's sleep.

"Lily..." came a quiet whisper from the man beside her, jostling her slightly. She ignored him, content in her slumber.

"Lily, wake up," came the voice again, louder this time and rather more insistant. The jostling had grown much more annoying as well, and now the red-head could feel someone shaking her.

"Mrrra..." replied Lily, sure that her bed-fellow would understand her obvious meaning of 'I'm trying to sleep, so shut up, you twit!'.

"Lily, it's time to wake up, so get up already!"

Growling, Lily turned and gave Severus her meanest glare possible, saying icily, "Try that again and I'll rip your bollocks off and feed them to Hagrid's pet dog!"

Severus, his face blanching at what she said, nonetheless giggled and said, "Lily, you silly girl, I don't have bollocks, _I'm a girl! _Seriously, _wake up_!"

Jumping in shock, Lily's head slammed into the headboard behind her, and her eyes squinted in pain. Shaking her head to clear it of the strange sight of a giggling Severus, Lily stared into bright blue eyes, glinting in merriment. Sabrina giggled again as she spoke, skipping to her trunk. "Sorry about that, but it's nearly half past ten! You should be out of bed, for today's a _beautiful _day!"

Trying to rid her head of thoughts of Severus saying..._that_, Lily focused her attention upon nice safe subjects, like Sabrina and her clear ecstasy... 'Wait, why is she so happy?'

Puzzled, Lily watched the girl hum happily as she got her own robes on; she had rarely seen the girl this happy before, even when she was going on and on about James Potter and how Lily should date him or she would. Finally, in spite of her combined anger at how the blonde had treated her the night before and woken her up this morning, Lily managed to say in cool tones, "What's got you so worked up, Sabrina? I don't think I've ever seen you quite so..._cheery_...so early in the morning."

Sabrina did a twirl in her robes, smiling brightly at her enchanted mirror, which told her _'Very pretty, dear,'_ in its usual tired tones. Turning toward Lily, she replied excitedly, "You're friends with Remus, right?"

Lily frowned, thinking about it. "I guess you could say we're friends, of sorts. Why?"

The brightly-smiling young woman blushed, sitting down and beginning to speak in words so fast that Lily felt as if she had been caught in a hurricane. "Well, the date we had was a lot more fun than I expected; he was a real gentleman, and was so fun to dance with! I mean, he missed a few of the steps (not nearly as many as _you_ did when you were with James, ha ha!) but it was still a whole lot of fun! I spent _hours_ talking to him, telling him all sorts of stuff. Like, my comfort level was the same with him as when I'm with you and Mary...but it was different because he's a boy, of course. Really, like, he's _so _nice and _so _sweet, and you know what the best part was?"

"Uh...what?" said Lily in a near-whisper, still trying to put together everything that the excited girl had said.

Sabrina's grin widened, almost bouncing on her bed as she spoke, "Get this: Remus said that he'd help me get together with _James_, at least, if that was what I really wanted. I mean, he's so loyal, it's really the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

Lily frowned, before saying coolly, "I hope things go well for you then, but if you'll excuse me, I've got to get dressed."

Stiffly walking over to her own trunk, Lily picked out a nice blue blouse to go with her robes, wondering what Severus would think of it when they hung out later today. Smiling slightly as she imagined him giving her a nod and a _'Very nice, Miss Evans,'_, Lily almost missed Sabrina's muttering something. "Err, what was that?"

Sabrina gave an audible sigh, before saying in a bit louder, her head hung in shame, "I'm really sorry about last night, Lily. I...I was just jealous that you were dancing with James is all, I shouldn't have laughed at you..."

"You're right, you shouldn't have," said Lily shortly, giving the other girl an annoyed look. She softened as Sabrina turned pleading eyes upon her, finally saying, "Fine, but don't do that again, alright?

"Never again," promised Sabrina, her sadness vanishing as if it were never there, replaced by a teasing grin. "Besides, given what happened between you and Snape, I'll bet that James will be on the market for plenty of time. I mean, I don't care much for him myself, but if it gets you away from my Jamesie-Poo-"

"-Do us both a favor and never call him that again."

Sabrina looked momentarily annoyed, but continued with a shrug, "Fine, but in return you have to tell me _everything _that went on between you and Snape after you danced."

Lily gave Sabrina a penetrating look, not sure how much she wanted to tell her roommate about the night, but slowly began to speak, "Well, actually, it was nothing more than a 'going as friends' sort of date. Still though, Severus and I had a good time at the dance, as I'm sure you know. Really, it was a good date. If it had been a 'real' one I'd probably be wondering when and if he's going to ask me on another one."

Feeling her face heat up a bit as she remembered her dream (_where_ had that dream come from?), Lily turned away in embarrassment.

"Yeah, probably not," replied Sabrina after pursing her lips momentarily. "I mean, he may be your friend, Merlin knows why, but there's no way that someone like him would _ever _date a Muggleborn seriously. I'm surprised he even took you to the dance as friends, given the way that sort behaves."

"He's not like that!" retorted Lily, feeling her anger begin to bubble again, memories of Perseus' letters flitting through her mind and filling her with angry guilt. Turning toward Sabrina, she shouted, "If you'd just try talking to him, you'd see that! He's not some evil Dark Wizard bent on world conquest, doing virgin sacrifices, or raping Muggles, he's _Severus_! Potter and his Marauders just keep _saying_ that he _is_, based on the facts that he dislikes them and calls them 'arrogant, dunderheaded idiots', but he's _not_!"

Sabrina scooted away in alarm. Feeling tears of frustration starting to build up behind her eyes, Lily took a deep breath to calm herself down. "He's _not _a Dark Wizard, and I'm tired of listening to you insult him unjustifiably. If you don't like him because he's a prat, or because he thinks that most people are idiots, _fine_. Just don't you say he's something he _isn't_!"

Sabrina gave Lily a pitying look, then walked away. Pausing as she reached the door out of their room, the girl spoke quietly, "Lily, just because he _said_ he isn't going to be a Death Eater, that doesn't mean that he was actually telling the truth. I don't trust him, and you shouldn't either."

With that said, she walked out the door, leaving Lily to her thoughts.

* * *

Today, instead of being cooped up inside the quiet Potions classroom in which they usually hung out, Lily and Severus chose to go out onto the Hogwarts grounds, by the lake. Lily was glad for the chance to play in the water, feeling the cool wetness soak her robes, making her feel as light and pure as fresh rain. For several minutes, she merely floated in the water, feeling almost as if she were alone in the world, with no-one to disturb her tranquility.

She enjoyed the company of her friend, even though Severus merely sat on the lake's edge, watching her quietly. His long, delicate fingers periodically trailed through the placid water beside him. While Lily would normally have preferred that Severus be a bit more active while outdoors, today she was glad for his simple, companiable silence as she sorted through her thoughts.

First of all, there was the dream she had had, but Lily soon dismissed it as unimportant as more pressing thoughts came to her mind.

Sabrina's words had made something obvious that Lily had long tried to ignore: the simple fact that it was unlikely that anyone she knew would ever approve of her friendship with Severus. Sure, they might tolerate it for her sake, but no-one wanted to give him a chance, because of his poor family and choice of houses. It wasn't even that he had ever done anything particularly _bad_; they just didn't care to look past their own prejudices.

Lily sighed as she stood up, glancing at Severus. The only way that they'd ever consider being his friend was if he tried harder to be theirs. If he made it clear that he really wanted to be friendly...

Looking down at her feet, watching her toes wriggle in the water, she said, "Hey, Sev."

"Yes, Lily?" His voice seemed contemplative, as if he were still lost in thought.

"Would you..." Lily faltered, a guilty feeling spreading through her, even as she lamely finished, "...be interested in dancing with me again sometime?" Severus' eyes widened, just a bit, but enough for Lily to see his surprise. A small smile appearing on her face, Lily explained, "You're a really great dancer, and I had a lot of fun doing that with you. Why wouldn't I want to do that again?"

Severus nodded, only to say sardonically, his face rather red, "Will we be following 'date rules' on future occasions? Or am I permitted to avoid humiliating myself again?"

"Humiliating yourself?" retorted Lily in a icy voice, giving him a cold glare as her face reddened with anger. "_Humiliating yourself_? Was it that shameful that _I _had to be your date, hmm, Sev?"

"It's not _that_!" insisted Severus, his voice desperate yet contrite. "I just...you..." He struggled for speech for several seconds, finally saying, "...I don't want us to have to kiss in order to fulfil some silly 'date rules', alright?" His face pinkened, and he muttered something.

Lily cocked her head, looking at him quizzically. "Err, sorry, I couldn't hear that last bit."

Severus reddened further, until he hid his face beneath the dark bangs of his hair, saying solemnly, "A kiss...shouldn't be something that you do because it's required of you by some silly rules, alright? It...it should be because two people love each other, not because they have to. You shouldn't be forced-"

Lily's laughter interrupted him however, as for the first time in ages, she actually fell over laughing, only breaking her gales of laughter when she started getting lake-water down her throat. After coughing it back up, during which Severus looked quite alarmed indeed with his wand already in hand, she tried to explain, "Severus...do you have any idea how much you sounded like some twelve-year-old girl just now? I mean, I thought that we went through this already. Didn't we?"

"That...that was different." Severus swallowed as he stared at the water mere inches from his feet, the boy looking as if he desperately wished he could drown himself in it and save himself the embarrassment. "You wanted to kiss me, even if the reasons were...less than appropriate. But you shouldn't have been forced to kiss me again for the sake of-"

"-Severus, I didn't do it because I was _forced _to," explained Lily with a roll of the eyes, whereupon Severus' mouth gaped open in surprise. "I just wanted to tease you a bit is all. Plus, it felt...I dunno, '_appropriate_'somehow. I had a great time, and you did rescue me from...humiliating myself. James Potter really is a complete and utter toerag..." She frowned, a sudden thought coming to her. "Speaking of which, you said you wanted to tell me something before the kiss. What was it?"

A sudden chill seemed to enter the conversation, as Severus' eyes looked away, and he fell silent. Several moments passed, Severus' hands clenching and unclenching, Lily not sure why he seemed so perturbed about what she had just said, until she remembered what he had said earlier that night...about discussing his mother at the end.

"I don't remember," whispered the boy finally, an obvious lie. The look in Severus' eyes made it clear that he remembered; he just wasn't willing to tell her, something that made something clench in her chest. However, his obsidian gaze then hardened. "However, that does bring something else to mind. Lily, explain what you were doing with Potter, _now_."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Lily," growled out Severus, his arms crossed and his words angry. He looked like a furious Buddha with his feet crossed just over the water. "What were you doing with _Potter _of all people? You told me that that bloody kiss was just you being _drunk_, so why were you dancing with him?"

"Not this _again._" Lily's eyes narrowed as she gave Severus a hard look of her own, her cheeks turning pink with shame. In hindsight, she knew that dancing with Potter had been a downright _awful _idea, and would have been even if he _hadn't_ come close to ruining her night. This simple truth only made her angrier. "Even if it was any of your business who I was dancing with-"

"You yourself said that it was a 'date'," interrupted the boy coolly, his eyes fastened upon her own as though he could rip the truth right out of them, whatever it might be. "As such, I think it would most assuredly be 'my business' who you were dancing with."

"You told me to go dance with whoever, Severus," shouted Lily angrily, her discomfort making her even more defensive as she retorted, her voice a high-pitched shriek, "Does it matter then if I was dancing with James Potter? Hell, my own date had abandoned me to chat up some slag! I mean, really, do _all _of your friends have to be _scum_!"

Silence rang louder than any gong as her words echoed through the air. Lily realized that she had gone too far as she spoke, "Wait, Sev, I...I didn't mean it like that. I was just-" Her voice faltered though, her lips still moving but no words leaving them. She merely stood there in the water, frozen as she stared pleadingly at Severus.

Slowly, Severus got to his feet and looked down at her imperiously. His lower lip curled in disgust, his hands clenched so tightly into fists that she could see a small droplet of blood escaping them, from where his fingernails had pierced the pale flesh. The sheer hatred in his gaze was so fierce that Lily felt herself backing away, stumbling over a bulbous rock behind her and nearly tripping in the process.

Lily swallowed, opening her mouth to speak, but with one last look of utter contempt, Severus turned around and walked away, heading back up to the castle.

Alone, the cold water chilling her, it made quite the contrast to how she had woken up.

However, this was no dream.

* * *

Several more days passed by, Severus not so much as looking at Lily when they passed in the hallways, treating her as though she did not exist. Meanwhile, Potter tried to talk to her, but she refused to speak to him after he had humiliated her so. It was ironic that the boy she didn't want to speak to wouldn't stop trying to talk to her while the boy she _wanted _to talk to wouldn't give her the time of day.

As such, she was elated when she finally received Perseus' latest letter, as it was comforting to talk to Severus even if he didn't know he was talking to her.

_Medusa,_

_As to my ambitions...I want nothing more or less than to be respected and powerful. My method of doing so is uncertain at present, but one day I will achieve this goal. Is it wrong that I wish this? Perhaps it is, perhaps it is nothing more than mere greed, but I want to be strong, capable of standing up and looking down proudly at those who despise me._

_Tell me: is that wrong? It may do nobody any good but myself, but is that a bad thing?_

_Speaking of ambitions, do you have any of your own? If so, please do tell._

_Your point is a good one, and one I will consider most thoroughly. If my inaction were to cause a friend's death...I would likely be inconsolable._

_However, I haven't decided to fight yet by any means. What if by fighting, I caused the death of some of my friends who ARE on the Death Eater's side? Should I simply forget about them?_

_I hope that things go well with your parents._

_As for the girl I mentioned, the one you suspect of being a 'gold-digger', I believe that I consider her to be a friend...and I think that you might be gravely mistaken about her. I have spoken to her about it...but we have yet to discuss it much. Perhaps it is because her present boyfriend has broken up with her._

_I have spoken to my friend about her, and neither of us seems to see eye to eye in regards to her._

_On a topic that neither of us have addressed for quite some time: have you done any reading on the Dark Arts since last we spoke? I've been practicing to use this particularly interesting curse upon Porthos, but I'm having a few minor issues perfecting it...and he hasn't been bothering me for about a week, making it rather difficult to hex him since his friend is a 'prefect' (capable of punishing me for my actions by giving me detention and such)._

_Regardless, I would like to discuss them with you, if you would be so interested._

_Your friend,_

_Perseus_

Severus hadn't arrived yet, so Lily was presently alone in the Potions classroom, sitting in the cushy chair that the dark young man normally kept as his own. It was comfortably soft, allowing her to sink her body deeply into it, something she knew that Severus secetly loathed but tolerated because she had been the one to transfigure it in the first place.

She was glad that it remained intact, as it meant that the present conflict would blow over in time...at least, she hoped it would. It was part of the reason she was seated here in fact, as she was hoping that she could talk to him before he had another tutoring session with Evelyn, ideally with them agreeing to forgive and forget by the end of it.

However, for the moment neither the room nor the week-long conflict existed in Lily's mind, for she was scouring the letter she had received for clues about her best friend, putting her clever mind into service as she did so. Several phrases jumped out at her, but she knew that it would take much time and careful thought before she could send off a reply, for with the discovery that this bright yet proud young man was Severus came sobering responsibility.

Before, she had merely been speaking to a faceless, albeit interesting, figure. Had things not turned out well with him, had she been unable to help the boy with his mother, Lily would have been badly hurt, certainly. However, since this faceless being was Severus, it meant that the communications were of much greater import. They were tools she could use to discover more about her best friend, but they could also be used to help him with his problems...

...such as certain room-mates of his. Lily couldn't put her finger on it, but something about the relationship between Severus and Mulciber rubbed her as very wrong indeed. To be honest, it didn't remind Lily of a friendship at all, but what it truly was was a concept that still remained elusive to the mind of the worried young woman.

Regardless though, she had to examine the letter more closely, especially that bit about-

"...word...you!"

"Yeah...S...us..."

Lily's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of raised voices outside. Glaring at her door in annoyance, she tried her best to ignore the conversation coming from outside until the soft, uncertain tones of Severus' voice made themselves known. As they were much quieter than the others, Lily could barely hear them from inside the room.

Curious, Lily slipped over to the door to get a better idea of what they were saying. Opening it just a crack, she saw Severus, Mulciber and Avery toward the end of the hall, an angry look on Mulciber's face while Severus' merely seemed nervous. Avery simply looked amused, albeit somewhat disappointed as the scrawny boy observed them.

"Guys, this isn't nearly as big a deal as you're making it. It was just a _dance_, and we were only going as_ friends_, not as a date!" Severus had his hands held out in a placating gesture. Even from here, it was obvious that he was terrified, although of what Lily couldn't say. Neither Avery nor Mulciber had even drawn their wands yet.

She couldn't help but smile though, in spite of the worrisome situation, as the mere fact that Severus was still refering to the two of them as friends was something that cheered her up.

Mulciber glared at Severus with cold, blue eyes, his meaty hands clenched into fists as he shouted in response, "Severus Snape, do you have any idea of how much trouble your little 'dance' has caused me! I gave you a pair of my dress-robes, you stupid buffoon, that means that I might as well have been _supporting _you in your freak show!"

Avery placed a hand on the larger boy's shoulder, restraining him as he pointed out in reasonable tones, "Arcturus...mate, it's partially your fault for not making sure which girl he was taking to the dance...although bringing a Mudblood..." The boy giggled as he mimed a shudder. "Severus, you must have been positively mad, letting her trail her filth all over Arcturus' good robes. I almost wish I had been there to see them get so...profaned."

Incensed, Lily vowed to find an excuse to throw the both of them into detention. Perhaps the fact that their ties weren't quite straight enough would suffice... 'No, I'm not supposed to use my authority as a prefect in that manner.' Lily reminded herself sternly.

She'd still throw them into detention though, if she caught them doing something wrong.

Meanwhile, Mulciber gave Avery an annoyed look, before saying in a low growl, nonetheless sounding far more in control as he spoke, "I thought that the _prat _here was going to bring Evelyn Matthews along with him, not Lily Evans! Remember what he told us back in February, about her _kissing _him?"

"True, mate, true, and even if she is a whore...she's definitely quite good-looking, half-blood or no." Avery frowned, shaking his head as he gave Severus a distasteful look, even as the boy watched them silently. "Honestly though, Severus, I can hardly believe that you were so thick-headed not to think of the consequences, even if Arcturus _had _supported you. If the Dark Lord heard about this...well, let's just say that your chances of becoming a Death Eater would go right out the window."

Severus' eyes widened, and she saw him pull out his wand and make a quick motion with it, one which Lily recognized as his _Muffliato _spell.

Luckily knowing the counter-charm, she undid it without a word, hoping Severus wouldn't notice. Meanwhile, Severus spoke in much more heated tones, "Guys! You know better than to talk about _that _sort of thing in the halls! We could get into a lot of trouble if we were caught..."

Avery looked chagrined, sheepishly muttering, "Sorry, wasn't thinking." His eyes then narrowed though, as he gave Severus a cool stare. "Still, you've really embarrassed us here, Severus. I mean, you wearing Arcturus' robes is practically like saying that he was supporting you taking that stupid little girl to the dance." The boy giggled again as he gave a wink toward Mulciber, a wink that Lily was sure Severus couldn't see from his angle. "You'll have to make it up to him, to _us _really, and I think I know the perfect way to do so..."

Mulciber looked confused, but nodded grimly at Severus, who sighed dismally. "Fine, Justin, what is it this time?"

Avery gave Severus a cold, greedy sort of look, before continuing with a false smile, "Why, you'll just have to do Arcturus' homework this week, mine too. I mean, the big lummox got into a spot of trouble earlier this week when you cut class, and I'm just not as _talented _at Defense Against the Dark Arts as you, wonder-boy."

Mulciber chimed in, placing an arm around Severus' shoulder and grinning wickedly at him, "He's right, it'd be a good way to repay your debt to me, Severus. If you do a good job of it, we'll make sure to say good things about you to the right sort..." Chuckling, he said in a way that strongly reminded Lily of one of those blasted used-car dealers, "Just imagine it, next autumn you'll be able to get into the Dark Lord's Death Eaters... All that power, prestige, those women throwing themselves at you. It could all be yours...well, if you don't manage to screw it up again."

As Lily watched in growing unease, Severus smiled a strange, longing smile as he said in a voice so quiet that she could hardly hear him, "Yeah, it'll be great...if he lets me in, of course."

"Of course," replied Mulciber smoothly. "But if you stick with the two of us...you should go very far indeed."

Severus gave him a relieved smile, "Indeed, Arcturus, indeed."

The voices cut out as Lily shut the door, leaving only quiet once again. It did nothing though to comfort her suddenly raging thoughts. 'He promised me that he was leaving him...didn't he? _Didn't he_?' Lily was no longer sure, the comfort she had constantly drawn from that night outside her house suddenly seeming like a black poison, filled with lies and deceit.

Tears filling her eyes, she whispered quietly, feeling adrift, "He...he told me... He told Medusa... He promised me...and it meant nothing.'

She heard the sound of the door to the room opening behind her, and quickly wiped her eyes, before turning to see Severus striding silently into the room. Still not looking at her, the young Slytherin frowned, his eyes surveying the cauldrons in annoyance, He said nothing, his silence casting a shadow upon the room.

"Severus...I..." Unable to look at him, Lily whispered, tears in her eyes, "I...I heard that..." She peeked up at him, only to see his back, him not looking at her. Faltering, she swallowed, only to finally mutter "Never mind, Severus, I'm sorry." She turned to their workplaces, looking for something to add to the cauldron, cursing her strange inability to ask him a simple question.

Perhaps it was because she didn't want to hear his answer.

However, apparently Severus noticed something was wrong as he grabbed her arm and tilted his head to (finally) look at her. He then spoke hurriedly, his dark eyes filled with concern as they stared into her green ones. "Lily, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

The sight of Severus _worried _for her sake broke the dam keeping her silent. Trying to keep from having some sort of break-down, Lily began to speak, hoping desperately that she had been somehow mistaken, "Severus, I heard that-"

One of the side doors to the room opened with a click, interrupting them.

Professor Slughorn stood there, his walrus-like moustache drooping dismally as he looked sadly at her. Feeling a distinct of unease as the older man stared at her, Lily was about to speak when he spoke first, "I see that the two of you have already heard." Seeming to brace himself against the doorframe, the man shook his head mournfully. "If either of you wish to speak to me, I'll do my duty as the Headmaster requested."

Severus, his eyes narrowed, asked suspiciously, "What are you talking about, Professor? What duty?"

The old and corpulant man seemed mildly surprised, looking at Severus strangely as he spoke, "Surely you don't think that the Headmaster would leave a child unaided by an adult in a time like this, not if they don't _refuse_ to accept the help." He gave Severus a significant look as he spoke, to which Severus' eyes widened in what seemed to be...horror. "I'm sure that given the situation, Lily would be quite interested in having someone to help her right now, wouldn't you agree, Severus?"

As Severus turned from Slughorn, staring into Lily's eyes in something that seemed more like...empathy than anything she had ever seen in the boy, the young girl couldn't help but feel a sense of great forboding as she asked, "What situation would you be talking about, Professor?"

"You don't know?" The aged wizard asked in shocked tones. "It was so...dreadfully dismal in here when I came in that I thought... I'm sorry, Lily, so dreadfully sorry to be the bearer of such awful news." Shaking his head once more, Slughorn looked at her with great pity in his gooseberry-colored eyes as he spoke,

"Lily, there was a Muggle car accident... I'm afraid that your father passed away last night."

**Author's Note: **Quite a few surprises in this chapter, I must say. Even I wasn't expecting certain things to happen until I wrote them. Lily might seem illogical towards the end...but she's been given a bit of a nasty shock.

_This chapter is thanks to my brilliant Beta, Anachronistic Anglophile, writer of a number of interesting fics. _

_Also, I'd rather like to plug a fic I've been reading: 'Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Wands' by Jaderook. It's a classic Severus returns to the past with a brilliant twist, as the PAST Severus is the one calling the shots, not the present one. Really, it's incredible, very much in character and avoids the ever-present 'Severus is godmode' cliche._


	15. Exhausted Reconciliations

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 15**

**Exhausted Reconciliations**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

_Dear Perseus..._

_Ambition can be a good thing, I suppose. It depends on what you want to do... I don't know..._

_Your friends...are they really that close to you? You haven't said much..._

_Have you considered what your friend is saying? She might be right._

_I'll...I'm sorry, I don't really have the energy to write this right now._

_Maybe next letter?_

_Medusa_

* * *

"Hey...hear?

"...I...way!"

It was odd, Lily reflected as she sat at her seat in the great hall, staring down at her porridge, trying to will herself to eat it. Although she intellectually knew that there were people talking, chatting and giggling all around her, it seemed as if there was naught but endless silence surrounding her, with strange voices sometimes interrupting from out of nowhere.

It had been two days since she had heard of her father's death. Ever since, she had spent much of her time locked in her room, crying endless hot tears. She hadn't spoken to Slughorn yet, or anybody else really. She probably should have, but she just hadn't been able to do it...not yet anyway.

Besides, the person with whom she wanted most to talk was part of the problem.

Over by the Slytherin table, Severus merely ate his food, looking neither to the right nor the left as he sat in utter silence. Perhaps it was his own method of grieving. She wouldn't know, as she hadn't been looking for the signs after the death of his mother. Regardless though, Lily wondered if she should be glad to see someone else mourning the death of Richard Evans.

She'd think about it later, when she had the energy to do more than mope and cry. Hopefully she would have tears left in time for the funeral this weekend.

Lily then remembered Severus' words to Mulciber and fell even more into confusion. How could Severus be mourning the death of her father when he wanted to join a group like the Death Eaters? Richard Evans was a Muggle, so why did Severus care? The Death Eaters looked down on Muggles, thought that they were all scum...

_...not being supportive of the blood-purity concept is not a popular opinion to announce among my peers. This is another reason I am appreciative of the fact that we shall never actually meet. _

The words from one of Perseus' letters echoed through her mind, causing Lily to sigh, shaking her head. It seemed that she didn't know anything about Severus anymore, not really. What in Merlin's name was going on with that boy? Was it his friends that were causing the problem? Was it him? Was it..._Evelyn_?

Suddenly, a voice that Lily did not want to hear spoke, "Hey, Lily! Can I have a word with-"

"Leave me alone, Potter!"

"Come on, you haven't spoken to me in over a week!"

"James, which part of 'I never want to speak to you again' don't you understand!" shouted Lily as she got up from the table, preparing to storm off. She had to deal with her father's death as well as the situation with Severus so she really couldn't be bothered with listening to his stupid, fake apologies. Couldn't he understand? She couldn't deal with this right now!

However, even as she left the Great Hall, she was halted by someone grabbing her arm. Whirling around in anger, she saw James Potter gripped her hand in a grasp that felt like iron. Turning around, she saw the Gryffindor boy brandishing his wand at her, an almost-desperate look in his dark brown eyes.

For a moment, there was silence as James stared at her silently, Lily staring back at James' wand in growing unease, even fear. Was he going to hex her now? Hurt her if she didn't talk to him? He had never done so before, but...

James swallowed, breaking her concentration as he looked her in the eyes and opened his mouth. Slowly lowering his wand (although not letting it out of his hand), he then spoke grimly, "Alright, Lily, please, please listen just for a few minutes, alright?"

At Lily's terrified nod, he took a deep breath and continued earnestly, "Great. Now Lily, I get that you're angry at me for that night at the dance. I really do! I just thought that you were trying to humiliate me is all, so I was returning the favor. Honestly, if you had just told me that you weren't that good at dancing, I would have given you a few lessons in private or something. Really! So what do you say we call it a truce? Come on, _please_!"

"The answer's still no, James," replied Lily warily, her hand on her wand where she could draw it if things went badly. Snarling, she shouted back.. "Honestly, you thought that I might be _humiliating_ you? That's your whole reason? A mere _suspicion _that I just wanted to make you look stupid? You threw me to the wolves, you inbred twit!" And with that, Lily ripped her arm out of his grip, her wand held high in the other.

However, instead of hexing her, James looked at her with pleading eyes as he spoke. "Lily, a Potter never begs for anything, that's what my dad always says. But I'm begging you now: please, please _please _forgive me for this! I'll do anything, _anything_!"

Lily looked at the boy, feeling a massive wave of exhaustion flow over her as she tried to decide what to say. Her father had died only a couple of days ago in a car wreck, Severus might be betraying the promise he made to her (although she wasn't completely sure on that), and now this. She just didn't have the energy to care...

"So that's how it is, isn't it?" James suddenly asked abruptly, the incongruity in his words interrupting her thoughts. He glared at her, his lip curling in disgust. "You'll forgive anyone, _anyone _except me, won't you? Even bloody _Snivellus_, who called you a bloody _Mudblood_, you'll forgive, but not James Potter! Oh no, never him! You're such a hypocrite you know? He humiliates you in front of the whole school for no reason whatsoever and he gets a pass for it, but I just make a mistake and I'm thrown under a bus? That's-"

"-Fine then, I forgive you. Happy?" replied Lily, a sudden headache consuming her. The insult to Severus aside, she just couldn't bring herself to stand there, talking to James. At that point, she'd have forgiven Mulciber.

"You...you will?" James blinked, his eyes wide with shock before his face split into a massive grin. Laughing wildly, he then cheered, "Thank you so _much_! I knew you'd make the right decision, I just _knew _it! Trust me, one day you'll look back and-"

Lily interrupted, not having the patience to listen as he blathered his thanks. Her father was _dead_, and she didn't want to waste her time dealing with _him_. "James Potter, you have five seconds to leave my sight or I'll change my mind! _Go_!"

James looked at her strangely, but quickly ran away, muttering audibly, "What's got her acting so strange?"

Alone again, Lily leaned against a nearby wall in utter mental exhaustion. She was going to go insane if she didn't do something, she just _knew _it.

She probably needed to talk to someone about her dad, about Severus, about _everything_. It wasn't going to be James Potter she'd talk to though, that was certain. Normally, she'd try talking to her dad or Severus in a time like this, but talking to the former was impossible and the latter was part of the problem she needed to solve.

Something had to change, and soon, or she was going to drive herself _spare_.

* * *

"I want you to stop talking to Avery and Mulciber, or any of those _boys_. Got it?" said the red-haired girl abruptly, crossing her arms as she stared stonily at the young man in front of her, biting her lip as she waited for him to respond to her command.

It was Wednesday afternoon when Lily had finally grown tired of waiting for Severus to talk, deciding to bring up the subject herself.

Perhaps she could have done with a bit more subtlety.

Severus paused in mid-stir, his face suddenly rigid although he wasn't looking at her. Slowly, he turned and said in a voice that had a strange calm audible in it, as if he wasn't quite able to respond, "I do believe that you said that I could keep them as friends, did you not?"

Stamping her foot, Lily replied in a little girl's petulant whine, "Well, then I'm _un_-saying it! You can't talk to them, understand?"

"Last I checked, reneging on a deal like that wasn't an option, especially not four _months _after making it." Severus' voice was perfectly calm and as he spoke, although his hard eyes gave evidence to his clear anger. "You yourself said that you wouldn't make me give them up. You...you can't just take it back! You said that as long as I didn't act like them, it was fine!"

Lily growled in frustration, hating how Severus was twisting what she had said. She _had _said that...but wasn't it only on the condition that he wasn't going to become a Death Eater? She was pretty sure of that... "Well, it's not fine anymore, alright? I don't want you to be their friend anymore!"

Severus gave her a cold, angry look and opened his mouth to speak, but seemed to think better of it. His eyebrows knit as he surveyed her, analyzing her with his dark stare, his lips now pursed in apparent consideration. He then shook his head and sighed, giving her a pitying sort of look as he spoke, "This is about your father's...passing, I suspect. You...you are worried that I'll leave you somehow, like him. Is that it?"

"This has nothing, _nothing _to do with my father!" snarled Lily as she resisted the strong urge to slap Severus, giving him an angry glare as punishment instead. "This is about you, and your thrice-cursed _friends_! And stop bloody trying to _analyze _me! I get enough of that from Professor Slughorn!"

"Well then, I can't see what is the problem." Severus' tones were deceptively complacent, his eyes resembling black pits as he glared at her. "You yourself offered to let me keep them as friends, so long as I toed the line in our bargain, and I've done so. As for 'analyzing', I know that you're probably feeling 'emotional' as a result of your father, so I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Argh! Stop it, you prat!" Lily grabbed Severus by the robes of his neck, causing his eyes to widen as she brought his face mere inches from her own. Her eyes narrowed into slits, she said in a falsely-calm voice of her own, "I said that as long as you didn't act like them _or _become a Death Eater, you could stay friends with them. And apparently you're still planing on the latter, so I'm reneging on the deal. Understood? Now promise me you're never going to talk to them, or I'm going to go right out this door and bid good riddance to the back-stabbing traitor that I've called my 'best friend'!"

Severus gave her an odd look, but didn't say a word, merely looking down at her in silence. The seconds ticked by, until Lily finally let go of the boy's robes, saying in a tired voice, "Well then, I guess that's that then, Severus. For what it's worth, you-"

"I'm not joining the Death Eaters." Severus interrupted, still looking at her strangely. "I told you that on holiday."

"Ha!" Lily laughed mirthlessly, her eyes hard as she turned away in disgust. If he wasn't going to even try telling her the truth, then talking to him was a complete waste of time. "I heard you talking to Mulciber and Avery, telling them how much you were looking forward to becoming a bloody _Death Eater_! If you were going to lie about it, at least do-"

"Of course I was lying, you twit!" snapped Severus, annoyance audible in his voice. "What did you think I was-"

"-So you admit it, you cowardly snake!" shouted Lily, whirling upon Severus, wand drawn and pointed straight at him. "I should have known better than to trust-"

"-I was lying to _them_!" ground out Severus, his wand drawn as well as he crouched in an excellent defensive position. "Not you! I told you that I wouldn't join them at Christmas, and I _meant _it! You hear me? I _bloody meant it_!"

"And why should I trust you!" Lily had tears in her eyes at this point as she screamed at the angry boy in front of her. "How do I know that it's not me who's being tricked, lied to!"

"_Because I need you_! _I wouldn't betray you like that, not when_ _you were the only one there when my mother died_!" Severus roared, slamming his hand onto a nearby table as his words rent the air. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open to their full extent as he apparently realized what he had said. His mouth worked silently, not uttering a single syllable as he stared at her in horror, a frigid silence filling the air.

Lily stared right back at him, eyes equally wide, before she remembered that she wasn't supposed to know about his mother's death. Quickly, she spoke loudly in what she hoped were surprised tones, "When your mother died? What do you mean, Severus?"

Severus though seemed unable to speak, his eyes pleading with her, as if he hoped that she would 'forget' what she had just heard. He soon seemed to realize this was hopeless though, at least not without a memory charm or two, and bowed his head, hiding his face with his head. Lily bit her lip, her anger draining away so fast that it seemed that it had never been there.

Perhaps it had only been hurt to begin with.

Finally, Severus turned back to her, his eyes blank as he spoke in an emotionless monotone, blank in that eerie way only he could manage, "Lily...do you remember what you said on the way to the party, about my mother?" At Lily's shake of the head, he continued, "My mother...she died last year, while the two of us were no longer friends..."

"Oh...that...that's horrible," said Lily lamely, her voice seeming like that of a small child's. "I'm sorry for your loss..."

Severus merely shrugged, his eyes still empty. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"Of course it does!"

She strode towards Severus, while he cocked his head, his eyes widening as he observed the a fierce look upon Lily's face. Her anger at him had been forgotten, replaced by a need to comfort the stoic young man. "Severus, tell me about it, come on..." She placed both hands on the shoulders of the dark young man, kneading his shoulders slightly in circular motions. "Please?"

Severus looked away and didn't say anything for several minutes, his eyes seemingly fastened upon the long-forgotten potion oozing tepidly in the cauldron beside him. Lily had begun to give up on him saying anything without further prodding when he finally said, "I was working on a new variant of Blood-replenishing potion...that day. I remember it vividly. Slughorn...he came in through his office door... I thought he wanted to see my latest work, so I picked up a vial, but he just gave me this sad, pitying look... It was the same look he used on you..."

Lily swallowed, the image of the broken, lonely Severus overpowering her in spite of her forewarning. She pulled him closer in an effort to somehow exorcise that bit of tragedy from his past, as if she could make up for not being there then by being here for him now.

The boy continued, his eyes unblinking, "He told me that my mother...she had passed away..." There was a pause, Lily watching Severus quietly, unable to speak. "Suicide...I dropped the vial on the floor. It shattered, potion spilling everywhere. She had drowned... My father...he had already started packing his things, said he didn't want to stay, that now he could finally live..."

"And then you came to see me?" Lily asked, whispering as she pressed him against her body, his head resting on her shoulder, atop the scratchy wool of her robes. "It was the first night of winter holiday, wasn't it?"

He turned to look at her, his face barely inches from hers as he spoke, his tone blank. "I went to your house, yes."

"But why me? Why not one of your other friends?" replied Lily in confusion, her emerald eyes fastened upon his as she drew closer, noses brushing against one another. His eyes slowly changed, filling with emotion as she watched.

"Because..." The Slytherin boy spoke simply.

"Because?" breathed out Lily, her arms slipping around his neck as she held him, her lips resting on his left cheek.

"Because you're you...and they're not." Severus' eyebrows knit, a quizzical look in his eyes. "Right then...that's all that mattered."

Lily's eyes shut then, closing out the rest of the world as their lips met. This time, it wasn't because she was teasing him, or because she wanted him to experience his first kiss. She wasn't certain who kissed who this time. She wasn't even sure if she cared.

It only lasted for five seconds, ending when Severus abruptly pulled his head back, his black orbs filled with horror...

She jumped back as well, shaking her head to clear it of the sensation, she could still feel the sensation of her lips against hers.

Somehow, it was quite different from last time.

* * *

_Medusa,_

_I understand, let me know when you're ready to talk._

_I'll be waiting._

_Your friend,_

_Perseus_

**Author's Note: **Sorry, this chapter took rather long, in spite of its shortness. I had the rewrite the entire second scene because the original way I had it just didn't fit. Sometimes you just have to go where the characters want to take you.

Hopefully, next time won't be so long.


	16. A Loving Farewell

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 16**

**A Loving Farewell**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

Lily stared at herself in the mirror she had commandeered, forcing a smile as she tried to finish applying the last bit of make-up. It would probably all be for naught by the end of the day, but she hoped that it would at least last through the ceremony.

Her father deserved no less.

There, with the last brush of blush her hair and make-up were finally perfect, or at least as close to it as she could get. 'Although my father would probably say that I look like a clothing store mannequin, taking a stroll down the block...' Lily gritted her teeth to stop herself from crying, ruining the last several hours of work, her reflection doing the same. After a minute's struggling, she allowed her grimace to return to a sad smile, the battle against tears won...at least for now.

Merlin, she missed her dad. Now they would never get to do all those things that they should have gotten the chance to do together. He wouldn't get to see her graduate, see her get married, or see his first grandchild. Because of that car crash...so many opportunities would be missed, never to return again...all because he had crashed into somebody else's car, killing the both of them.

Lest she lose her battle against tears again, Lily tried to focus on something happier...like the letter to Perseus she had sent earlier that morning. Although her friendship with Severus had gotten..._closer_ since the events of Wednesday, she didn't want to neglect the relationship she had with Severus'...alter-ego.

It would be nice to have a second person helping her help Severus, after all...even if that second person was herself.

_Dear Perseus,_

_I'm sorry that I've taken so long to get back to you about this. I have had to deal with some issues of late, and am very glad for your patience._

_In regards to ambition and your goal...I'm sure that just about everyone wants people to respect them and admire them, even if really deep down. It might be greed, but it's a greed that most share anyway. As for a desire for power..._

Lily had thought a great deal about her answer before finally continuing.

_...what sort of power are you referring to? There are a number of different sorts of power I suppose, so what do you mean? Is it the ability to kill people, like some sort of comic book? Is it something else? What do YOU want?_

_As for myself..._

Lily had paused, before simply writing an idle dream from before, nothing better coming to mind. It wasn't a particularly important question really, hardly worth spending a good deal of thought on.

_I suppose that I would like to be a Healer, at Saint Mungo's. It would be a good way to help others, and it's a profession well-respected in the wizarding world, you know?_

_As for your friends..._

Lily thought about that topic for quite some time, as it in her opinion was the crux of the matter. Severus' relationship with his friends...it seemed more disturbing to her each and every time she saw them interact. It was like...he seemed their lackey or their servant more than their friend...

She couldn't imagine requiring her friends to do her homework for her because of some silly pair of dress-robes that she doubted anyone cared about...and even before that, doing Mulciber's Potion-work...

It felt very strange indeed...

_...I must ask again, could you tell me more about them? How close are you to them, REALLY? I mean...there are the sort of friends that you chat with when you run into them...then there are the sort that you seek out in an effort to talk to them, to get their opinion on matters, you know?_

Lily's frienship with Severus wasn't like that though, it was stranger. While he certainly talked to her a fair bit, he seemed to avoid topics that were really bothering him. He also was quiet much of the time, being (as her mother would call him) the strong, silent type.

Still...he had been there for her a lot over the past couple of days, taking meals down to the Potions Classroom during breaks (breakfast was her favorite, as he always brought her eggs and rashers, even when they weren't serving it), among other things. She had generally secluded herself there for most of the time, since she had been permitted to take the week off classes, something she supposed she should have been grateful for...but when there was nothing to do, there was nothing keeping her from spending _all _of her time thinking about her father's death...

In her efforts to keep herself from obsessing over it, Lily had probably managed to finish off the rest of the year's Potions homework.

He still wasn't talking much about his mother, his friends, nor the...overly-physical conclusion to their shouting match. It was particularly aggravating, although Lily had yet to bring it up either, easily allowing herself to get distracted by her issues of late. Of course, it wasn't that the...conclusion to their fight bothered her in the same way as the other two issues, which she knew perfectly well were more important.

Still, if he could kiss like that...maybe another date was in order sometime in the future, if he was interested of course. The last one had gone quite well in her opinion, even if the aftermath had been rather...confusing.

She did wish that he would talk to her more though.

She also wondered why he lied to his friends if he cared so much about them.

_In regards to this girl...perhaps try telling your friend more about her, or if she's not willing to listen, tell me. I do hope that this girl is doing alright after the break-up. Still, consider whether your friend might have a point?_

As for the situation with Evelyn...although Lily rather disliked the girl's choices on principle, if Severus seemed so worried about her, perhaps it was something worth checking in on. After all, just because she was a...less-than-savory individual didn't mean that Lily wasn't about to help her if needed, only that she'd prefer that Severus...made different choices for friends.

If only some of _her _friends would give him a chance, then she'd show him what he was missing...

_As for the Dark Arts, I'll admit that I've done a bit of reading on them..._

She had needed _something _to do after finishing all those bits of Potions-work, after all.

_...but I'm not certain if it's something I'd really want to study myself, although perhaps I could help you get the kinks out of your spell; mind sending me a description? I won't help if it's REALLY dangerous, but if it's something you'd use on a classmate... Still, the fact that you'd avoid hexing him unless provoked is a good thing._

Lily was about to end the letter then, but a thought came to her.

_Out of curiosity, Perseus, what did you do to cope with your mother's death, apart from basking in your friend's presence? Just wondering._

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

Lily smiled, remembering how thoughtful Severus had been in his last letter...although perhaps it had been because he was mourning her father's death as well. It was a topic that still remained mostly unexplored between the two of them, although the silence no longer seemed uncomfortable, but rather a discussion that was awaiting the proper moment.

Somehow, it seemed as if there were a lot of things that were like that, merely waiting for when the two of them got around to talking about them. Perhaps a proper time for some of those discussions would be next Hogsmeade weekend; they could stop by the Three Broomsticks before going on a nice long walk around town, talk about all sorts of stuff...

Suddenly, a loud voice interrupted her thoughts as Mary shouted from what sounded like the Common Room, "Lily, are you quite finished yet? Because there's a wild Slytherin lurking at the Portrait-hole, waiting for you!"

Lily nodded, about to call back that she was finished, when Mary's voice suddenly called up again, "Hey, Lily, James says he'd like to have a word with you, if that's alright!"

"James? What's he want?" Lily whispered to herself, blinking in surprise before calling down, "Uh, alright, I'll be there in a second!"

When she arrived downstairs, most of her fellow Gryffindors had already left, with the exception of James and Mary. It was a beautiful day outside, thanks to the much-welcome Spring weather, warm enough to not need to bundle up, yet with a nice breeze that would play across the face. If she hadn't had a funeral to go to, she'd probably be enjoying it as well.

Upon seeing Lily, James walked over to her, giving Mary a pointed look before turning back to Lily with a surprisingly-solemn expression on his face. As Mary left the room, muttering that she'd let Snape know that she'd be a minute or two longer, James said quietly, tapping his fingers together, "I heard about your dad. Took me a while to figure it out, why you were cutting classes, but then I asked Sabrina and well..."

"Oh..." Lily nodded, staring at the young man fidgetting before her, noticing that he was wearing a pair of maroon dress-robes. Not knowing what to say, she settled for saying nothing, waiting for her fellow Gryffindor to speak.

Obliging her, James spoke in serious tones, "I'd like to come to the funeral with you, if that's alright."

"Oh?" Lily blinked, surprised at the offer. She thought about it for a moment, before shaking her head. "James, I know you weren't invited, so you're not going to get your schoolwork waived for the week. Besides, you've never met my father in your life, so why would you want to come?"

"Isn't the fact that he's your dad enough?" asked James with an angry look, shaking his head as if he might shake off a pestering fly. "And I know that I won't get any breaks on classes or such, I just want to be there to support you. Isn't that enough?"

A smile found its way onto Lily's lips as she considered his words. She had to admit that she was touched by the offer, however... a frown replaced the smile, and she sighed. "James, Severus is coming to the funeral with me too, and I don't want to have the whole time spent with the two of you trying to find new and creative ways of calling each other scum, so I'm afraid that the answer's 'no'."

James seemed to think this over, a dark look settling onto his face as his eyes darkened. Finally, he said in a low growl, "Listen, I'll promise not to do or say anything to provoke Snape, just make sure that he does the same. Alright?"

Lily gave him a scrutinizing stare, noting the determination in his eyes, before finally giving a slow nod. "Alright, you can come, but no acting like a toerag, alright?"

"Promise."

Even though she could hear sincerity in James' voice, Lily couldn't help but get a nasty feelling in the pit of her stomach at the thought of how Severus was going to take this...

* * *

Surprisingly enough, Severus' reaction had been far better than Lily had expected. He had listened to her explanation, then after a long silence, muttered that he'd promise the same thing as Potter.

It was clear that he still was far from pleased.

The headmaster had permitted them to use the Hogwarts Floo to travel to her house, offering James a nod of approval as he mentioned that he was well aware of the lack of a benefit to him personally, something for which Severus ground his teeth but said nothing. As such, the trip had been nearly-instantaneous, although Lily had needed to keep from throwing up as she arrived at Severus' home in Spinner's End, crumpled in a heap on the ground.

"Well, nice place you have here, Snape," said James cordially, although the look of distaste as he surveyed the furnishings gave away the lie. It was hard to blame him, as the cramped domain and lack of lighting strongly reminded Lily of a prison cell.

Severus merely nodded, giving James a cold glower before turning to Lily and asking gruffly, not too bad-looking in his Muggle suit, "Shall we get going? We're a bit early, but it's probably best if we don't take any chances." Apparently noticing that she was having a difficult time standing, his tone changed as he offered her a hand, "Are you alright, Lily?"

Lily struggled to hold herself up by using one of the threadbare armchairs nearby, ignoring the offered appendage, nodding with determination even as her stomach tried to do flips. "Yeah, let's get going. I'll be fine."

"I think not," replied Severus coolly, although the worried look in his eyes gave him away. "We have a few minutes, plenty of time for you to catch your breath. Let me get you something to steady your nerves...tea perhaps?"

"Yeah, what he said," said James, chiming in reluctantly. He gave Severus another glower, before offering Lily a hand. "Come on, I'll hold you up."

"Listen, I'm _fine_!" retorted Lily, nonetheless grabbing James' hand for support as she tried to stand. "We don't need...don't need..._Bleagh!_"

Unfortunately, her words were belied by how she threw up upon James, the contents of her breakfast covering his dress-robes.

"Oh, _Merlin_, that's gross!" shouted the boy in disgust, letting go of her hand as he tried to clean his front of half-digested rashers and eggs, needing to use no less than three different spells before the disgusting mess was gone.

Meanwhile, Severus pulled her over to a nearby couch, laying her down as she stared mutely at her feet, embarrassed. Clearing his throat with a cough, he spoke in calming tones, "Alright, I'm going to see if I can find a Potion or something to take the edge off of whatever's bothering you, Lily. Potter..." He stared at the boy suspiciously, his lips nonetheless twitching as he saw the remaining dampness of the glaring Gryffindor's robes. Finally, he said with a reluctant sigh, "Just don't touch anything."

"No way I'm doing that," muttered James, as Severus slipped up the creaky, old staircase to the second floor, Lily's eyes following him until he was out of sight.

Soon, the sounds of rummaging could be heard coming from upstairs, during which James breathed a relieved sigh. Turning to Lily, he then said with a grin, sitting on the rubbishy table next to where she laid, "Well, I'd guess that this means that you have an excuse to get out of class. Shame that we're not at Hogwarts, eh? You could skip Transfiguration for sure!" He waggled his eyebrows, his brown eyes dancing as he spoke.

Lily couldn't help but giggle at the boy's antics, in spite of the situation. Smirking, she retorted with a grin of her own, "If only...maybe I'd actually get an 'E' for the class! I think that McGonagall has it in for me, personally..."

"No way!" James laughed, slapping his knee as he teased her, "McGonagall's always been crazy about you. You're practically a shoe-in for getting Head Girl in her eyes, and her favorite student besides! No way she'd let you do poorly in Transfiguration! Even if she did..." James pointed at himself as he spoke in confident tones, "...I'd be happy to tutor you in it; it's my best subject, bar none!"

Lily considered his offer carefully, as he didn't seem to be joking. Finally, she said, "Well, maybe I'll take you up on it. I'll think about it."

"Make sure that you do," replied James in a winning voice, causing a return of the same butterflies that had plagued her ever since the holidays.

The stairs creaked, alerting them all to Severus' return as he rushed down them, his arms gently cradling a single, un-stoppered vial of pale-blue liquid. Giving James a distrustful look, he strode to Lily's sigh, helping her to sit up with his left arm while he presented the potion to her with his right. His arm warm as it wrapped itself carefully around her, he said in clipped, clinical tones, "I was unable to find the potion I would have preferred to use, but this one should do a decent enough job with a minimum of side-effects. Now, drink it slowly, the taste is quite disagreeable."

Lily nodded, holding the vial to her lips and forced herself to swallow it all in one gulp. Almost immediately, she gagged in disgust, barely able to keep from hacking it up as she coughed out, "Sev...Severus, that was..._urgh_! What did you make it from? That tastes worse than...than a pile of dung, eaten by flies, thrown up in disgust, then irradiated! I'd rather taste month-old roadkill!"

Severus nodded ruefully, both his hands now rubbing her shoulders, an action that somehow seemed to help with the queasiness. "I believe that my mother made that for when I caught Dragon Pox... After tasting that, I think I would have preferred dying by Pox. It works on most diseases though, luckily, although-"

James interrupted with a cough from where he sat, glaring up at Severus. "As interesting a story as that is, can we get going, Snape? I don't want to stay around here any longer than I have to."

Severus' eyes flicked toward James in annoyance before returning to settle upon Lily's face. "Unfortunately, Lily, we're going to have to wait a bit until it works its way through your system. It shouldn't be more than thirty minutes, luckily." He seemed to consider this, continuing to rub her shoulders as he did so. "However, a cup of tea would probably help. Let me just pop over to the kitchen and I'll make us all some-"

"Not likely, Snape," replied James with a dark look, getting to his feet with a hand on his wand. "I don't know about Lily, but I'm not letting you make me so much as an ice chip. For all we know, you've got some sort of Dark Potion in the kitchen, ready to use on me, or _Lily_." He shook his head in disgust. "I'll make the bloody tea if she needs it, but you don't touch _anything_! And get your hands off her!"

As James stomped off to the kitchen, Severus removed his hands from Lily's shoulder, causing her to let out a small sigh. They had been quite nice there... He then spoke in a dry tone, "I wonder if he even knows how to make tea, the paranoid twit."

Lily shrugged, not particularly caring, instead laying back down on the couch. Looking up into Severus' eyes, she smiled fondly. "I'm very impressed with you by the way, both of you."

Severus blinked, staring at her in puzzlement. "Lily...I don't want you take this the wrong way, but are you feeling alright? Because I'm quite certain that you're speaking nonsense."

Lily noticed that one of his hands laid beside her and grabbed it in both of hers. "I mean for how you're not trying to hex each other right about now. I'm especially proud of you, Severus. It must have taken a lot to allow him into your home, especially considering how he's been hexing you so long for no real reason." At Severus' incredulous look, she continued with a chuckle, "James promised me he'd leave you alone, show how it was your fault for all of it...but if it _was _your fault, wouldn't Remus be taking a bunch of points from you? He is a Prefect, after all..."

Severus sat silently, not even seeming to notice where his hand was. Meanwhile, Lily could hear James grumbling from all the way in the kitchen, he was so loud. She fought the urge to laugh. James was...well, he was a man's man she supposed, confident, masculine, and strong. He didn't have much ability in the kitchen though.

Lily then whispered, "I'm so glad that the two of you aren't fighting today; my dad would have been so proud..." She then paused, biting her lip. "Perhaps we could celebrate by going to Hogsmeade next weekend that rolls around? Just the two of us?"

Severus gave a smile, but it quickly faded into a frown as he seemed to stare into space, his hand withdrawing from her grasp.

After several moments of apparent struggle, emotions flickering across his face like leaves in a storm, he sighed and looked at her guiltily. "It wasn't _always_ his fault... Most times it was, but there were times that I hexed first, before they had even cast a spell, like that fight you stopped back in...November, was it? I was the one who started it. Pettigrew was trying to provoke me, but I was the one who turned it into a fight..."

"Oh..." Lily looked at Severus, noticing how he was biting his lip as he waited for her response. A smile creeping over her face, she sat up and hugged him, causing him to stare right into her eyes. "Severus...thank you. I mean, I'm a bit disappointed to be sure, but still very proud."

Severus seemed nonplused as he started, nearly knocking her over as he turned toward her. "But...but I just said that it was my-"

"-Yes you did, Severus, you told me when you didn't have to. That's what makes it...special." Lily hugged him tightly, her words seeming as if they came straight from the heart. "Thank you very much...my dad told me once that that sort of thing is very important, taking responsibility when you don't have to do it. If he were here now..." Lily couldn't finish the sentence, overcome with emotion.

Severus seemed to realize this, as he broke the tension with a dryly spoken, "He'd say that I'm being an overly-honest twit and I am wretched at keeping secrets, especially after what happened on Wednesday."

Lily laughed, but quickly sobered up as she was reminded about what had happened on Wednesday. Realizing her position as the tension returned, albeit of a different variety, she let go of Severus, her hands hanging limply in the air. "About that..."

However, Severus interrupted quickly, his face flushed as he bowed his head, covering his eyes with his low-hanging hair, "It's nothing to be concerned with, as it's not something that either of us would care to repeat, I'm sure. As such, for both of our sakes, let's call it a bit _too _much comforting and concern, alright?"

"Alright."

To tell the truth, Lily felt a bit...let down by Severus' answer. Oh well, it wasn't like it would destroy her or anything, it had been just a bit of...curiosity, she supposed. He probably would have made a fine date. Sighing dismally, she changed the subject, waving a hand toward the kitchen where a muffled swearing could be heard, "My dad never did care much for tea, said that the Americans had it right with coffee...and beer."

Severus nodded thoughtfully, sitting up beside her, their shoulders touching. "No disrespect, Lily, but I still think that he was a bit nutter for his love of the stuff. Then again, he did have some strange tastes in...dietary matters. I still don't understand why he liked rashers so much. I used to think he was addicted to the stuff."

Lily giggled at that, even as tears filled her eyes at the thought of the portly man scarfing down his rashers, never seeming to have had enough until it was all gone. Wiping her eyes, knowing that her make-up was probably a lost cause, she poked the young man alongside her. "Hey! I'll have you know that rashers are one of nature's miracles, perfect for Muggles and Wizardkind alike!"

Severus smirked at her, saying slyly, "And who could possibly forget the greatest lover of all things rasher-y, Lily Evans? Your mother might have left you your hair, but apparently there's some of your father in you! Or maybe a bit more than some..." He made a show of looking her up and down, his tones underlaid with false gravity as he spoke, "Are you gotten pregnant, or have you merely gained weight?" He paused again. "A_ lot _of weight."

"Hey, you're no looker yourself, Mr. Snape!" retorted Lily with a grin. "I'll have you know that my stomach is in great shape, perfectly taut. Now your wrinkly skin on the other hand..."

By the time James returned with the tea, his fingers burnt, the twosome were happily talking about the most trivial of things (such as her father's odd tendancy to butter the right side of his toast, 'And _only _the right side!'), tears of sadness and joy running down their cheeks (well, mostly hers).

As Severus replied in dry, sarcastic tones ('And yet, I'm sure that the left side felt quite alright with that...'), James Potter shook his head in disgust.

Between the tears blurring her vision and the fact that she was staring into Severus' eyes, Lily barely even noticed his presence.

* * *

By the time they had finished the tea, the funeral had already started. It was a fairly-large, formal affair of the type that both her mother and Petunia loved. Although Petunia's distaste for Severus was clear, this time it was James that caused her to shriek in horror.

Dress-robes weren't quite an appropriate attire for a Muggle funeral, after all.

Still, after he quickly transfigured his clothing, everything went off without a hitch, although part of Lily couldn't help but feel that the funeral was a bit...cold. She wouldn't have been surprised if half of the people there barely knew her father, so many had been invited. James' presence was a surprisingly-welcome one, as he cracked several jokes throughout the ceremony, causing both Petunia and Severus to look at him with horror each time he did so.

Lily didn't mind, as she was certain that her father would have enjoyed them, especially the one about Petunia's date, Vernon Dursley and his mustache ('Does the man have a mustache, or does the mustache have a man? That I ask you!').

However, it was the end of the funeral which proved memorable, when James had drawn her away from the crowd, something clearly on his mind...

James stood beside her in the small graveyard where her father laid, off of Spinner's End. It was beautiful right then, not a cloud in the sky and the breeze gently caressing her hair; Richard Evans would have loved it. Abruptly, he then spoke, a frown on his face. "I wish Sirius were here, you know? He'd have some good jokes to liven up the ceremony, make it something...more reflecting the sort of man I bet your father was."

"Really? Why do you say that?" asked Lily, curiosity overcoming her.

James grinned, chuckling as he said, "You see, I was listening to you and Snape...in case he tried to pull something and all. The way you guys were talking...I'll bet he was a really fun-loving guy, like me!"

"Well, I don't think he would have been much for eaves-dropping..." said Lily reproachfully, frowning at the suddenly-embarrassed young man. Her face softened a bit though as she spoke, a bit of warmth filling her chest, "He did have a nice sense of humor though..."

"Yeah..." James frowned again, his face seemingly screwed up in thought. Lily wondered what he was thinking abou-

"Would you like to come with me on a tour of Europe this summer?"

Lily blinked, her mouth open in surprise. "Uh...excuse me?"

James shrugged nonchalantly. "Sirius and I were going to go on a big tour of both Muggle and Wizarding Europe...and I was wondering if you'd like to come along, see the sights. You know..." He seemed to notice her eyes popping out of her skull and grinned. "Oh, don't worry, it'd be for about a month, plenty of time to get your studies done when your back and such. My dad's paying for it, so you don't have to worry about money. Come on, what do you say?"

Lily stared at him in utter disbelief. Taking a deep breath, she barely managed to keep herself from shouting as she retorted, "James Potter, I barely know you at all, so why the heck do you think I'd be going on you for a tour of bloody _Europe_! Merlin, it's barely been a few _weeks _since I said that I'd give you a chance! Are you _mental_?"

James smirked, laying a hand on her shoulder as he ran the other through his hair. "Well, I thought that after we become good buddies with the tutoring sessions, you'd surely want to date me, so I'm letting you know of your option ahead of time."

Lily could only shake her head, her voice weak as she said, "You _are_ insane, do you know that? Completely, utterly insane."

James laughed heartily as he said cheerily, "Good to know. I'll keep that in mind! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to use the loo." With that, he strode off whistling, leaving Lily dumbstruck.

What in the world was going on this year?

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the big let-down after the previous chapter, but Severus said 'no' to romantic fluff.

I hope that this gives a bit more insight into Lily's feelings, both one way and another.

I'll bet that Severus actually being the one who started the fight back in chapter three came as a bit of a surprise. Raise your hands if you saw that one coming.

Don't worry, there are a number of plot-twists ahead, which I hope that you will all enjoy!

_Again, this is all done thanks to my lovely and brilliant beta, Anachronistic Anglophile!_


	17. Strange Bonds

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 17**

**Strange Bonds**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

After James left to use the loo, Lily wandered around the graveyard, looking for someone to talk to. Petunia...she didn't want to speak to, nor her mother (who was talking to James, laughing), and most of the other people remaining were rather unfamiliar to her. Severus...

...Severus was at her father's gravestone, his hands tracing over the words engraved upon it, his eyes staring unblinkingly at the rounded top. His mouth moved, mumbling words that the youngest Evans girl couldn't hear, the frown on his face seeming more fixed than the stone at which he looked.

Lily fought the urge to slip behind him and listen in, but as she had told James, it wasn't nice to eavesdrop on people...something which she had been doing an awful lot of late.

Instead though, someone slipped behind her. "So, I see that you've brought more freaks with you, to your father's funeral even. Clearly, you don't have any sense of shame."

Lily scowled as she turned to face her sister, who stood with her arms crossed, a scowl of her own on her lips. Wearily, she muttered, "Hello, Petunia, mind leaving me alone on today of _all _days?"

Petunia though seemed quite incensed at something, glaring at Lily as she snarled, "If you're going to humiliate the family, do us a favor and don't come at all next time. It's bad enough how he died, but if you're trying to use your own father's _funeral_ to pick up dates...well, I'd honestly love to see you and your little freak friend thrown out of here on your pasty bums!"

And with that, Petunia stalked away, heading in the direction of the massively-mustached Vernon Dursley.

Lily glowered, her eyes hot with anger as she fought the suddenly-intense urge to hex her sister. She hadn't had the slightest _intention _of trying to use her father's funeral to pick up a date, or anything of the nature! James had just surprised her with his question was all. It hadn't been out of an attempt to make a mockery of her dad's funeral, at least not on her part. She'd never do something as low as that, especially not to him! "Hmmph!"

Shaking her head as she rubbed her now-itching eyes, Lily did her best to ignore what her sister had said. However, when she turned away she saw Severus sitting on the grass, his back resting against one of the nearby gravestones, his eyes shut as he swayed a bit. She swore under her breath, still furious at her sister, then walked beside her friend. "Severus, do you have a moment?"

His eyes open, blinking tiredly for a couple seconds, before focusing on her. Seeming to notice her distress, he stood up and asked carefully, "Lily, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," muttered Lily, tight-lipped as she spoke. "It's just my sister is all."

Severus frowned, giving her a evaluating look as he muttered, "I don't know why you bother, if she hurts you so often."

"She might be mean sometimes," admitted Lily, turning to glare at her far-off sister, who was grinning as she talked with Vernon. Her eyes softened though as she saw her sister smiling. "Petunia's still my sister though. Even if she is a...brat, I'll still love her."

"True..." Severus' voice seemed distant, as if he were thinking about something very different from her troubles with Petunia.

They lapsed into silence, Lily simply standing beside him as they watched the rest of the funeral-goers slowly trickle out of the graveyard, leaving only a few. James seemed to be arguing with Petunia for whatever reason, not that Lily cared much at that moment. Instead her thoughts were on her father...

The young woman missed him so very much. The very thought that she would never see him again was one that seemed to make her heart close up in her chest, making her regret that she had ever gone to Hogwarts in the first place. Sure, she had learned all sorts of cool tricks and spells...but in comparison to having missed so much of the time she could have spent with her father...it seemed a paltry payment for the many moments she had missed, simply by being at the school for most of the year.

Right then, if she had had the opportunity to do it all over again, she felt as if she would gladly have taken spending her life as a Muggle if it meant she could have those precious hours that she she had missed. For once, Lily felt envious of her sister, as the woman had had the opportunity that Lily had missed...

"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus was barely a foot away from her now, his surprisingly tired-looking eyes examining her with the same attention he'd give a potion recipe, as if he might discover the secrets of life from the moles on her face.

Lily looked away, face flushing as she remembered the kiss from Wednesday (the kiss of _comfort_, she reminded herself). She said nothing lest it sound foolish or giggly, as this was _not _the time to let her silly hormones control her. 'Besides, Severus probably wouldn't under-' Lily paused, suddenly remembering the simple fact that Severus was probably _more _likely to know what she was going through, given the death of his own mother.

But would now be a good time to bring that up? Lily wasn't sure, as Severus still seemed a bit...broken up about the death of his mother, not that she could blame him. Perhaps it would only hurt him to talk about it...

"Lily?" Severus had lid a hand on her shoulder, steadying her as he walked in front of the still-silent young woman again, peering at her face. His voice was hesitant, "If you don't want to say anything...it's alright, but if you want to... He trailed off, lowering his gaze, worry in his black orbs.

Lily bit her lip, ducking her head a bit so her green eyes could fasten upon his anxious ones. She turned away from him, speaking in quiet words, "Severus, do you ever wish...that you had never gone to Hogwarts? That you had stayed home with your mother and just...been there with her?" Even as she finished, she felt guilt crawling into her throat. She knew full well how much the death of his mother had hurt him...and how much mentioning it still seemed to.

Severus interrupted her contemplations, saying in serious tones, "To be honest, not really. She told me once that seeing me doing well in Hogwarts was one of the few things that made her...happy." A shadow seemed to eclipse his face as he then muttered, "Maybe if I had done-" He cut himself off abruptly, shaking his head as he changed the subject. "Do you think that it would have been better if you hadn't gone?"

Biting her lip, Lily thought it over, not missing how his dark eyes fastened upon her own as he waited for her answer. Finally, she whispered, "I don't know, maybe...maybe I'm just being silly."

Severus squeezed her shoulder, nodding thoughtfully, if a bit sleepily. "Actually, yes, I think you're being silly. If you hadn't gone...then you would have missed other things..."

"Like what?" whispered Lily, her slender shoulder leaning against his hand. "Spells and tricks? Silly house rivalries? James Potter?" She shook her head, her voice nearly breaking, "I'd give them all up, every last one of them, for just another _week _with my father. Wouldn't you do the same if it was your mother?"

There was no response. Instead, Severus closed his eyes, his face bleak as she watched him. He opened his eyes again, and watched her furtively, "I don't think so... If I had the opportunity to change things, I don't think I would have, not for my mother." Seeing the look on her face, he explained, "It'd been years since the two of us had had a real conversation. A week would have merely delayed the inevitable, I think." His voice trailed off to a whisper. "I don't think I could have changed anything...not really. Not worth it..."

Seeing the shame on Severus' face, Lily spoke without rancor, "What if you had tried talking to her? If you had spent years without having a real conversation, then maybe it was long overdue?"

"What would that have helped?" asked Severus, brutal honesty in his voice. "If I had talked to her...then maybe it would have just happened sooner. Merlin knows that whenever I try to-" He stopped suddenly, sighing as he let go of her shoulder. Shaking his head tiredly, he muttered, "Never mind, we...shouldn't be talking about me today. Not today..."

"But-"

"Not now!" interrupted Severus, exasperation audible in his voice, making Lily take a step back at the anger in his voice. He visibly calmed down though as he sat on the ground in front of her, speaking quietly, something resembling kindness audible in his voice, "Do you think your father would have wanted you to stay here with him, forsaking all of your potential? He...really liked that you were a witch. He wouldn't have wanted you to give that all up..."

Lily joined him, her shoulder against his, feeling warm once again. Smiling, she whispered, "Maybe...but it doesn't mean that I don't wish that I could have done something..."

Severus shrugged, nodding his head slowly as they sat in silence, watching the sun go down. He seemed tired, drained of life and energy. Lily wondered what was the cause of it all, before she remembered how he hadn't gotten the last week off like she had. "Tired, Severus?" she asked hesitantly. "I didn't think you were so..."

"Mmhmm..." mumbled the boy, and she noticed that his eyes had closed.

"Sorry, Severus, I didn't mean to keep you up," she whispered, feeling rather guilty at having kept him up, although it was only evening still...

A thought struck her, reminded of what she had overheard what seemed so long ago. 'And with those friends of his...did they let him off doing their homework? He was pretty distraught as well, but did they let him off, or make him do it anyway?' She sighed, disgusted. 'I doubt people like them could be so generous...'

Severus' shoulder suddenly seperated from her own, although she could still feel his hips touching her own.

Turning to see what had caused this, Lily was unable to suppress a giggle. The dark Slytherin boy had fallen asleep, and now his head was laying on the soft grass behind him. Severus' face bore no suspicious lines for once, no dark, angry glares...although he did twitch a bit in his sleep.

He shivered, his arms wrapping around himself, and Lily realized how cold it was. Night had fallen while they sat there, and everyone had left, save for James and her mother, who were talking animatedly over by the iron gates to the old graveyard.

Biting her lip, Lily carefully hoisted Severus up again. Slipping under him, she allowed him to fall to rest once again, this time landing on her stomach. Several moments passed, during which Lily wondered if she had woken him, but he didn't move... At least he was no longer shivering. Now he was a warm weight on her lap, a slight smile on his face as he laid there. She smiled too, glad to have him there, especially on this day. It made her feel-

"Hey, Lily?" A sudden whisper in her ear interrupted Lily's contemplations, bringing her back to reality. Turning, she felt a flush creeping over her face as she saw who it was.

James sat down beside her, giving the sleeping Severus a glower before forcing a smile. His hand almost touching hers, he whispered again, quietly enough that it didn't seem to disturb Severus "Are you doing alright over here? Your mother was worried when you didn't arrive on time, and thought that something must have happened. Apparently your sister_...Petunia_, didn't tell her you had arrived." The distaste was audible in his voice as he said her sister's name.

"Oh...I'm doing fine," muttered Lily, pinkening even more as Severus shifted a bit. The top of his head now sat mere inches from the underside of her breasts, his ear pressed against her stomach. She let out a breath and tried to ignore it, focusing on her whispered conversation with James. "Petunia's been acting like a right bint the whole day, so it wouldn't surprise me in the least."

"Hmm..." James grunted distractedly, biting his lips in apparent thought. He then gave Lily a strange look as he spoke, "I didn't know that you had a sister before today, now that I think of it. To be honest, I always pictured you as having a little brother or two, but no sister. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Lily shook her head, careful not to move too much lest Severus be woken up. "You never asked...and it's not like we're really all that close, James."

"Well, it's not like you ever gave me a chance!" retorted James, loudly enough that Lily feared he had woken Severus up. "I mean, you _always _talked to Snape, but never said two words to me except to rant at me. Why wasn't I someone you talked to, confided in? Why was it always, and I'm sorry for saying it, the Slytherin git?"

Lily took a deep breath then looked down, making sure Severus was still asleep. Luckily, he didn't seem to have woken up yet, although he twitched a bit. Giving James a level look, she whispered angrily, "Be quiet! He's trying to sleep. As for why I've never really talked to you...why do you _think_ I didn't talk to you? You spent half of the time bullying most of our classmates, and the rest of the time bullying my best friend! Why would I _want _to have a friend like that? Tell me that!"

James looked at her with pleading eyes as he replied desperately, albeit quietly, "I've been in love with you for nearly three years now, and you still won't talk to me. You preferred a boy who wanted to be a _Death Eater _to a fellow Gryffindor; I know I've done some pretty bad things, although I still wouldn't call it _bullying _Snape, but at least have the decency to give me a chance! Hell, I've stopped doing any of that stuff, so why do you still choose him over me?"

"It was never a choice." retorted Lily tiredly, her anger turning to exhaustion as she tried to get James to understand. "I never chose Severus over you as my friend; I just didn't choose _you_, because _you _were an arrogant toerag, and _you _were tormenting my _best friend_. I chose to keep Severus' friendship...well, the reasons for that are none of your bloody business, but they're good ones, trust me. If you still want to make me choose between the two of you...then you never understood anything to begin with!"

There was silence, while James turned to stare down at the ground, his face set in a disappointed grimace. Slowly, he stood up, using his strong legs to get to his feet without using his hands. He looked at her with honesty radiating from his brown eyes, from his strong features, his wand-hand held over his heart, "Lily, I told you, I've stopped doing any of that stuff...but if you want me to say it again, I will. I swear that I've changed, and I love you very much...so why not at least give me a chance to get to know you, at least as a friend? _Please_."

"Alright, it's a deal." Lily offered the Gryffindor boy a smile, chuckling as his face seemed to light up with happiness. "I'll try being your _friend_, alright?" Realizing he was about to let out a whoop of joy, she quickly pointed at Severus though. "Be quiet though, I don't want to wake Severus up!"

James grinned dazedly, seeming almost drunk on glee as he jumped up in silent cheer. Lily had to suppress a chuckle as she saw his sheer joy, all but dancing in the rising moon's light. He then turned back to her and whispered brightly, "So, how shall we begin?"

Lily thought about it, then said slowly, trying to keep herself from being carried away with James' enthusiasm, "Well, given that today's the day of my father's funeral...maybe we should talk about him?"

James nodded, still grinning. "Alright, well, I heard a bit about him from you, Severus, and your mother today. I know some things, like his breakfast preferences were eggs and rashers, and he died from crashing his car into another automobile, but I don't know much about what he looks like. Mind telling me that?"

Lily nodded, carefully watching Severus to make sure he hadn't woken up. They'd need to leave soon though regardless, as it was getting pretty late. "Well...he was a rather plump man, short blond hair..."

It wasn't for another fifteen minutes that Severus woke up, during which she and James talked about her father, James joking that girls always loved men like their fathers and as he was such a man...

The sound of her laughter was what finally woke Severus up.

* * *

"Hmm, having any trouble with that spell, Severus?" joked Lily, trying to get a rise out of her DADA partner.

The joke was the idea that there was a single spell Hogwarts taught in regards to the Dark Arts or defending against them that Severus hadn't mastered.

"Hardly." Severus gave her a strange look, flushing a bit before burying his nose deeper in a library book (probably about the Dark Arts), having snuck it into class to 'deal with the boredom of listening to imbeciles'.

To be fair, Professor Skeith was far from an imbecile, but since he was teaching at the same level as the rest of the students...Lily could see Severus' point. According to her bibliophilic companion, a few months back, Skeith had agreed to let him spend his classroom time studying so long as he turned in the written assignments and participated in the practicals.

"Well...hmm." Lily gave him an odd look, even as he flipped to the next page. Studying was all well and good...but it was rare that Severus was _this _quiet around her. He might be rather stoic, keeping to himself most of the time...but around her it was very strange indeed.

Perhaps she had provoked this in the past few days...but she hadn't the faintest idea why or how. Lily didn't think he was angry at her, as he would have simply avoided her completely if he were that angry. He wouldn't be acting like this...but what did it mean?

"Hey, Lily, Sirius is trying to steal my wand!" whispered James Potter, sitting at the table behind her. She could hear the mischievous grin in his voice. "Make him stop!"

"Hey, no fair running to a bloody prefect, Prongs!"

"You do realize that I'm a prefect, right, Padfoot?"

"Err...oops?"

"Stop acting like children." Rolling her eyes at the Marauders' antics, Lily noticed that most of the class was staring at them, causing her to blush. Sinking deeper into her seat, she gave Severus an apologetic shrug, which he didn't seem to notice. Instead, he seemed to glance...

...in the direction of Mulciber and Avery, who both ignored his look, instead pointedly looking away.

Severus returned his attention to his book, disappointment flashing across his face before being replaced by studious calm. It was several minutes before he flipped another page though.

Lily glowered in the direction of the other Slytherin boys, before forcing a smile and laying a hand on Severus' shoulder, doing her best to conceal her anger. He offered her another strange look before ducking his head back into the tome he was reading.

'How dare they treat Severus this way!' A large part of her wanted to shout. Severus was far better than the likes of them, so much better that they should be on their hands and knees _begging _for the right to talk to him. 'Really, I don't know why he wastes his time with the likes of them. If he simply acted the way he is around me towards most people...I seriously doubt he would be lacking for friends.'

"Don't worry about them," muttered the incensed red-head, jerking her head toward Mulciber for emphasis. "Let's just focus on the assignment, alright?"

Neither of them had much of anything to do of course, as it was more of a mental exercise designed to prepare one for the basic Patronus summoning. Most teachers wouldn't have assigned such a spell of course, but Skeith was rumored to have had a sister who died in Azkaban. Luckily, it was said to have uses other than for fighting Dementors, so Lily continued quietly through the exercise.

"Right..." replied Severus, offering her a quick nod before returning to his book..._again_. Lily frowned, but said nothing, instead trying to come up with happy memories for the Patronus. It wasn't too hard, as she had quite a few memories she thought might do the trick. She hoped that one relating to her father would work, so it would be something to remember him by...

She was rather distracted though, as something was bothering Severus, and Lily was pretty sure that Mulciber and Avery were at the root of it.

Merlin help them when she found out how.

* * *

_Dear Medusa,_

_It's alright, I have had some issues to deal with as well, especially with my friend._

_That could be true, but you wouldn't know it with my friends. As for power...I'd like the ability to protect myself from my enemies, as well as protecting those close to me. If I had enough power, then I'd never have to be...worried again. If I had power...no-one could hurt me (Somehow, if people who try to harm me end up dead, I doubt anyone would want to harm me)._

_Your dream sounds like an interesting one; how does being a healer appeal to you though? What would you enjoy about it, or dislike instead? (I suppose that you would want to be a healer purely for the sake of helping people, knowing you)_

_My friends...it's rather complicated, to say the least. Suffice it to say, they provide me with companionship I suppose, although they can be a bit irksome at times. It doesn't matter much though; I lack many other options (apart from formerly-annoying chits who have a tendency to ask too many questions)._

_The girl...she's a not-unintelligent blonde about my age, seventeen, and is rather infamous throughout our school for her...physical generosity to the male population. She goes through boyfriends at a fairly rapid rate, sleeping with pretty much anyone who will let her...but I don't think that that is the whole story with her. _

_She has acted oddly around the guys she is interested in the time I've seen her, trying so hard to become exactly the sort of person she thinks they'd want that I find it rather...scary. The one she broke up with a short time ago, he was on the Quidditch team...and she quickly became the most brainless, quidditch-loving fool I have ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on. Make no mistake, I enjoy watching the game...but I'm pretty sure she doesn't._

_There's another guy she is interested in now, and I'm seeing the same thing happen all over again. He likes Gobstones, and whenever I see her of late, there is a book on Gobstone strategy in her hands. I've been told that it's considered a good thing to try out what your significant other is interested in, giving it a chance...but could this be too much of a good thing?_

_Hmm, the spell that I'm working on is something I've been considering for combat against one or more enemies. It's an offshoot of Leglimancy if you will, enabling me to burrow just deeply enough into somebody's mind to mess them up a bit. Think hallucinations and temporary inability to distinguish reality from thought. One of the main advantages is that it doesn't require you to strike with a spell cast from your wand, as you merely need to maintain eye contact for about a minute._

_Obviously, it is non-verbal._

_In regards to how I coped...well, one of my teachers suggested doing some work to keep myself busy, so I started tutoring the girl I mentioned earlier. Apart from that...I just tried not to think about it, especially the parts where it was my fault. Those...I preferred not to think about as much. In hindsight, perhaps talking about it would have helped me more than keeping silent (Yes, I am fully aware that I am admitting that you are right. I strongly hope that it won't happen again)._

_Your friend,_

_Perseus_

**Author's Note: **Similarly to a couple of chapters ago, this chapter took a _lot _of revisions to get through. Unfortunately, I had to do without the assistance of my Beta, so any errors are entirely mine.

Some notes: I notice that James Potter is rather disliked in reviews, which I find interesting because I've tried to make him fairly likeable...considering what I have to work with. Perhaps it's because of his character, or who he is interacting with so far. Hmm...

A number of you think that he's at the funeral exclusively to get into Lily's pants. Whether or not _that _is true...is something I leave up to you guys.

Offtopic, I wonder who can figure out the real reason that Severus is hiding behind his book in DADA class.

Lastly, I'm afraid to say that I have a bit of a new understanding of Severus' character, as the girl that I considered my best friend...is no longer able to talk to me anymore, for reasons I'm afraid that I cannot discuss at this time. I can see why he gave up...I can also see why it was a mistake for him to do so. So if I write any depressing chapters...it might be partially due to this. This story is now dedicated to her.

Regardless, I'll try to not let this impact my writing too much, save for in good ways.

_I'm now looking for a Beta, ideally one who is willing to let me bounce ideas off of them as well as edit. If interested, please contact me by PM or say so in your review._


	18. Preparations and Patroni

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 18**

**Preparations and Patroni**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

_Dear Perseus,_

_It's not a truly bad goal, but I don't know if that would be a really good goal for you to have. I mean, even the strongest wizards still fear each other, right? So when would you have enough power? I mean, protecting the people you care about is something everyone should try to do...but aren't there better goals than just gaining power? I mean, what about gaining the ability to help people, making the world a better place or something? Wouldn't that be a better goal?_

_I don't know, it just sounds a bit odd to me._

_What's appealing to me about becoming a healer is how it allows me to help people, to prevent the deaths of their loved ones, you know (And wanting to help people is NOT a bad thing, just so you know!)? Moreover, it's a well-respected profession, and it would help me to make a bunch of friends, you know?_

_Companionship? Of what sort do you mean? Just talking and such, or something more? Regardless, someone like you will always have options for friends, you can be certain._

_Hmm, if your friend were to consider her a slut, I would have to agree with her. Some girls act like that when they don't care about a long-term relationship, and just want to get with their victim for a short while. It sounds like most of the guys have figured her out, so she has to work particularly hard to get them interested._

_I'm sorry, as I'm sure you care about her, but facts are facts. If she wanted him for more than just a quick fling, then she would be herself instead of some pretend-girl._

_That's an interesting spell idea you have; it can easily end a fight with a minimum of real damage, although it does require the use of Leglimency, a discipline that I honestly don't have much practice in using...or any for that matter. I'd definitely be willing to help you with such a spell, even if it is Dark Magic._

_Tutoring does sound like a good idea for coping, and I might just try something like it in the future. However, you seem to blame yourself for your mother's suicide, and that REALLY isn't your fault. It was her choice and hers alone, and she chose to do something really selfish in killing herself. Wherever she is now, she probably regrets it thoroughly._

_I know what it's like to lose someone close to you, but you can't dwell on it, or you'll drive yourself mad with the might-have-beens._

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

* * *

Unfortunately, Lily hadn't been able to uncover much of anything about how Mulciber and Avery were bothering Severus. Between Severus' seemingly-endless reticence regarding the issue ('_Lily, it's complicated, alright!')_, having to catch up on her homework and studies, and especially of late, Prefect duties-Lily could barely make time to sleep, let alone investigate.

The fact that she spent a fair portion of her time moping over her father also didn't help.

In Hogwarts it was customary for Prefects to patrol the corridors as needed, although whether alone or in pairs was usually at their discretion. However, thanks to Remus' angering McGonagall due to both the incident earlier that year _and _his lack of fortitude when it came to some of his housemates, he had been assigned to be paired up with one of his fellow Prefects each and every night he patrolled this year...supposedly, as some form of moral stiffening.

Tonight was Lily's turn, and since it was just too awkward to walk around saying nothing she soon started making conversation.

"So...how are you and Sabrina doing? Anything I should be hearing about in particular?" asked Lily as she peeked her head around a nearby corridor, taking a moment to listen to make sure that the apparent emptiness of the passage was due to an absence of life rather than a charm of some sort.

Realizing what she was doing, Remus waited for her to nod her head before replying, his face rather pink, "Err...we're doing well, I think. The two of us are going to Hogsmeade this Sunday, but I'm not sure if we're going together or err..._together_."

"Really? That's great." Lily smiled encouragingly, but inwardly frowned. Her last conversation with Sabrina had seemed to indicate that she just wanted to use Remus' knowledge in an effort to get close to James. If that was the case...she hoped that Remus wasn't getting his hopes up only to be hurt in the end. Speaking of James... "Hey, Remus, I don't know if you know this...but I'm planning to meet James for some Transfiguration tutoring later this week."

"You don't say," said Remus dryly, an amused grin on his face as the two of them continued on their rounds. "Given how he's been mentioning it every few minutes, like it's a talisman or something...I think everyone knows. If I didn't know better, I'd say that he had just been told he could be king of the world he's so happy."

Lily had to chuckle at the image of James Potter ordering around everyone on the planet; it did certainly fit him. However, she had some other questions to deal with first. "Well, regardless, I was wondering if you have any idea of what I should bring. You know, to the tutoring session, like props and the like."

Remus shrugged, taking a moment to check down another corridor before replying, "I don't think you'll need to bring anything, or James would have told you. I wouldn't worry too much; James knows what he's doing." Remus smiled a fond smile. "He tutored Peter in some pretty difficult magic a couple of years back, with Sirius' help of course."

Lily blinked, surprised. "Huh...never heard that one. No wonder Pettigrew's still in Transfiguration at the N.E.W.T. level."

Remus frowned, giving Lily a level look. "Yeah...but Peter's pretty smart, even if his grades aren't that good."

"Err, sorry," muttered Lily, looking away. "I didn't mean to insult him. It's just that...well, it surprised me, is all."

Remus shook his head, an apologetic smile barely visible. "No, it's nothing; I just get tired of James and Sirius putting him down all the time."

"Ah." They continued in silence, Remus checking the hallways and secret passages on the right, while she took the ones on the left. It was surprisingly deserted given that May had rolled around with the promise of Summer making their fellow students rather frisky. One time, Lily had caught a pair of students _copulating _in the hallways... She still didn't know who was more embarrassed, her or them...

"So who are you going to Hogsmeade with?" asked Remus suddenly, checking another hallway as he did so. Seeing Lily's raised eyebrows he quickly back-tracked, muttering, "If you don't want to say, I don't mind, as it's your business. I'm just curious is all."

"Don't worry, I'm not offended or anything. Your question just surprised me, that's all." Lily grinned, causing Remus to visibly relax, then continued, "I haven't talked to him, but I'm probably going with Severus, as friends you know."

Remus chuckled, clearly amused. "Ah...James probably wouldn't be too thrilled to hear that. He's rather jealous of Severus already, so hearing that he's going to Hogsmeade with you probably won't be the highlight of his life."

"_Rather _jealous?" Lily snorted incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief. "You should have heard him a couple of weeks back! 'Rather' is a definite understatement. It seems pretty childish if you ask me..."

Remus shrugged. "I agree, but what can you do?"

Lily didn't reply, save for a polite hum of agreement. Really, what else was there to say?

"Out of curiosity..." spoke Remus suddenly, his voice overlaid with a pretend nonchalance. Glancing behind a portrait where a secret passage was known to lie, he asked, "...how are things going with your pen-pal? You haven't said anything about it for a while and...I've been wondering."

"Hmm..." Lily looked at him strangely. Why did he care about her pen-pal? It wasn't like he- Lily's eyes widened, and before she could stop herself, she blurted, the proverbial pieces to the puzzle coming together, "Wait, you were the one who set Severus and me up, weren't you?"

"I...err, have no idea what you're talking about. I was just making conversation," replied Remus quickly, but Lily didn't miss the guilty look on his face as he spoke.

"I know you're lying, Remus! Stop acting like I'm some kind of idiot and _tell me the_ _truth_!" retorted Lily with a shout, glaring at him as he cowered against the nearby wall. Realizing that she might be overreacting, she took a deep breath and said in a much calmer voice, "Remus, I'm not angry that you did it, really I'm not. I'm just...surprised is all."

Remus seemed to weigh his options carefully, worry visible in his eyes, but he finally said, "Alright, but you have to _promise _me that you'll never tell anyone, alright? James and Sirius would hate me if they found out what I did." At Lily's quick nod, he continued nervously, "Well, you know how...my friends had a tendency to err...try to make Snape's life less than perfect, right?"

Lily gave him a look that seemed to say 'Gee, you _think_?', causing him to let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Alright, I guess you do know, but the point is, well...I've always felt a bit bad for the guy. I mean, he's a Dark Arts-loving wanker who will probably end up torturing Muggles to death for fun...but I felt guilty about what we were doing."

Lily nodded, although she gave him a cold glare at his insults toward Severus. Coughing, Remus continued his tale, "Well, early this year, Dumbledore gave me the task of sending all the notices to the various pen-pals out, saying that I'd be off patrol duty for a month if I got it done quickly enough. Apparently he had some sort of..._anyway_, I was looking through the list, remembering how James had put Snape in a full-body bind before classes that day, and I had an idea to sort of...you know, make up for it. I knew that the two of you had once been friends and all, and I thought that maybe if I helped him out...it might make us alright in, I dunno, karma or something."

"Knowing I didn't have much time, if I wanted that month off, I quickly switched the pen-pals up. Your pen-pal and his pen-pal got each other, while I put him together with you." Remus chuckled, seeing Lily seeming to ponder what he was saying. "I'm glad that the two of you got things sorted out."

Lily frowned slightly. "Actually, we didn't, not because of your letter scheme..." Her face softened. "...but I'm glad that you did it, all the same. Don't think that makes up for six years of hiding your head in the sand while your mates beat him up though."

Remus sighed. "I know...but does that answer your question?"

"Yes, Remus, it does." They walked for a few moments in silence, before Lily showed mercy and changed the subject, "So...how is your Patronus memory project-thing coming? I'm doing pretty well, probably going to use a few memories of my father, but Severus is being very annoying and isn't helping me in the slightest. Dunno why."

Remus seemed rather surprised, but shrugged, "I couldn't tell you either, but if you don't mind, I'm having some issues with..."

* * *

"Alright, class, let's get to working. Remember, try to concentrate on _happy _memories, not who you're taking to Hogsmeade this weekend! Dementors can't kill you, but your mummies wouldn't want to see you a soulless husk, now would they?"

As it turned out though, Lily's plan to take Severus to Hogsmeade ran into a bit of a snag in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, although not because of the teacher's shout.

"What do you mean you're 'busy'?" hissed Lily in surprised anger. "You aren't going with your friends, you said so yourself last week! I thought that the two of _us _were going together, like we did in February!"

"Keep it down," urged Severus frantically, a wary eye on the teacher as the man stormed over to the Marauders' table, from which a strange purple smoke was emanating. Scowling at Lily, he replied quietly to her, "Listen, I'm sorry but there's something important that needs proper...handling. Besides, I don't think that you'd be interested in-"

Lily interrupted, glaring stonily. "I'll choose what I'm interested in, thank you very much. Tell me what it's about, Severus Snape, or I'll...well, whatever it is, it'll be quite bad for you I'm sure." Her voice softened, even as her face pinkened. "Besides...I'd rather spend time with you, all things considered.

It was quite fortunate for her that Severus didn't notice her blush, being diverted by a loud thud from behind him. Instead he responded coolly, his face turned away to keep an eye on the Marauders' table, "Well, I must say that's quite a surprise to me, given recent events. Honestly, I thought that you'd be _pleased_ by the chance offered to spend time with someone else."

Lily blinked, surprised at Severus' sudden frigid attitude. Her eyes then narrowed as she whispered angrily, "_Excuse me_?"

A dark sneer played across her friend's sallow face as he turned back to her, growling, "You did hear me, correct? I thought that you'd enjoy the chance to hang out with your precious _Potter_! Perhaps you could ask him how to perform a runny-nose jinx as he beats up a few small children. Sounds like a _wild _afternoon, eh?"

"_What the hell are you talking about?_"

The voice of the teacher rang out again. "Remember, concentrate on happy memories! We'll be testing you when you get back"

There was a sudden pause, during which Severus looked away, his eyes shifting around oddly.

"Oh, never mind," bit out Severus, shaking his head in clear disgust before returning his head to the inside of a book, flipping through the pages much like he had the past few weeks. For some reason, eye contact had become a thing of the past, especially in DADA. Still, he did manage to mutter, "If you must know, I'm planning to keep an eye on Evelyn's date this weekend."

"You're spying on her _date_?" Lily's eyes widened, shocked. She knew that _something _weird had to be going on, given how he was blowing up at her for something really silly, but this was... "Are you insane, Severus? Really,_ are you_? That's something that's done in soap operas by jealous ex-boyfriends and the..." Lily paused, a sour taste entering her mouth at the thought. "Wait, are you _jealous_ of _Evelyn's_-"

"As entertaining as your sudden inanities are," interrupted Severus smoothly, a single sardonic eyebrow raised. "Jealousy is not something I feel towards her fool of a date, that you can be certain of."

"Then why? Why spy?"

Severus gave her a level look, although not before checking on Skeith again. "There have been..._rumors _about the twit, rumors that he's been a bit overly-pressuring towards his prior girlfriends...in the sexual sense. I'm worried that if Evelyn were to say no..."

"...that he wouldn't accept it," finished Lily, her eyebrows knit in worry as she thought furiously. Turning to Severus, she then asked carefully, "What's she think of your concerns?"

Severus frowned darkly. "Just like with that Dewitt fellow, she's over the moon for her current guy, Darwinus Marvin of Hufflepuff. She won't listen to a single one of my concerns, as she's sure that 'this guy is the right one for me, I just know it!'." He snorted. "There's love, then there's delusion, and this is clearly a case of the latter."

"Well, in that case...I'm coming along too." Lily smirked, noticing Severus' surprised blinking at her. "Come on, did you think that I'd leave you to do the right thing all by yourself? Give me some credit at least!"

"Hmm...I don't know..." replied Severus in careful tones. "Spying is more of a one-person job..."

A sudden shout rang through the room, causing the teacher to all but squawk in indignation, James yelling, "Hey, Lily, make sure you study up on human transfiguration! We're covering it day after tomorrow, when we're all back from Hogsmeade!"

Lily, although quieter than the grinning Gryffindor boy, nonetheless called back, "Alright, James, see you then! And five points from Gryffindor for yelling in class!"

"Alright!"

Turning back to Severus, Lily saw a strange look on his face, as if he were looking at something which didn't quite make sense. "What?" she asked, confused.

"Hmm, actually, I think that maybe you should come along." came Severus' voice, quiet and measured. "I think that we need to talk."

Reminded of her quest in regards to his friends, Lily nodded. "Agreed."

"Meet you at the entrance to the Great Hall then?" asked Severus, with a raised eyebrow.

"Certainly..." Lily glanced at the professor, who had an eye on her. She grimaced, muttering, "Let's get back to work; the professor might give you this class off, but I need to keep my marks off. What memories have you been using?"

Severus flushed, turning to look at his book once again. "Never you mind, Lily. Never you mind."

Lily frowned, but tried to focus on a happy memory instead: her father telling her how proud he was that she was going to Hogwarts...and how he hoped that she would be a good student and an example to all...

Unfortunately, all she got was a few whitish wisps and tears in her eyes...

* * *

_Dear Medusa,_

_Perhaps, but your answer smacks of naivety and ignorance of the way the world works. If one doesn't have power, then people WILL take advantage, especially in my case. I have had to deal with a number of situations where I lacked the power needed to defend myself; although I did nothing to start the fight in those cases...that didn't mean I wasn't attacked._

_I never said that wanting to help people was a BAD thing, just something that isn't as good as making sure that you are safe, as how can you protect people when you are the one who needs protecting?_

_It's complicated, and that's all that I can say, although I will say that you badly overestimate my options for friendship._

_I'm sorry you feel that way about her, as you have clearly chosen to close your mind to other possibilities, which disappoints me given how much you claim you want to help people. I suspect that it's for another reason, but you clearly have no intention of listening, in spite of your words. I honestly think that both you and my friend are twits who have no idea how the world works. As you have no intention of listening, we'll simply have to agree to disagree._

_In regards to the little Dark Arts spell I was working on, thank you for your assistance, although I mostly have the basic idea finished up already; what I really need help with is in IMPROVING the spell beyond the baseline. Any ideas for that?_

_Your naivety is showing again; it's almost as impressive as your claimed intelligence. If she committed suicide, there was certainly a REASON FOR IT! As she'd dealt with my father's...disgusting habits for most of my life and she spent most of the time in the house, it's probably due to my own actions or lack thereof that she chose to end her life. _

_I know that you are correct about not dwelling on the might-have-beens, but there is a difference between that and not admitting one's guilt, wouldn't you say? If you are at fault, then it does no-one any good to ignore your own guilt, something I hope you learn._

_Your friend,_

_Perseus_

**Author's Notes: **It may seem strange that Lily doesn't think the Letters had anything to do with her and Severus remaining friends, but it's really an example of (one of my favorite concepts) the butterfly effect. If she hadn't challenged Perseus in Potions, then she wouldn't have had to interact much at all with Severus early on, and he would have never known her offer, instead remaining home alone.

Their interaction via the letters actually had minimal effect otherwise.

I find it interesting how a lot of writers seem to ignore how James and Sirius interact with Peter Pettigrew in their teen years, as though since he betrays them in the future, he must deserve the mocking or something. Just a thought.

In regards to Nazgurl's question, he didn't do any magic at the funeral, he was merely saying goodbye to Richard Evans.

You all may be happy to know that my friend and I have managed to successfully resolve our differences, although I still plan on making use of the services of Dylan S. Thompson and LunaLitSol, if they'll have me.

_This chapter was betaed by the clever trio of Dylan S. Thompson, Anachronistic Anglophile and LunaLitSol._


	19. Blushing Girls and Blistering Insults

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 18**

**Blushing Girls and Blistering Insults**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

The day of the Hogsmeade visit arrived warm and bright, the sun shining high in the sky. Even the dourest Slytherin had small smiles on their face in anticipation of a beautiful day. Like most of the students, Lily was no exception...even if she would have preferred better company. Much to her misfortune, Sabrina had chosen to accompany her until they saw their 'companions'.

Although part of Lily wondered how things were going between the blond, wealthy pure-blood and the drab young man who was taking her to Hogsmeade, Sabrina had decided that it would be much better if she instead spent her time haranguing Lily about her choice of friends for the umpteenth time.

"I still don't know what you see in the prat. I mean, he might be someone you've known a long time, but there's a point at which it's best to go your seperate ways, you know?"

"I still don't know why you keep bothering me about it," muttered Lily under her breath.

Sabrina didn't hear though, instead continuing her little rant, "His very existence is a strain on your social life, I just know it. People see him and his attitude and wonder 'If Snape's like this, then how good could Evans be?' Really, they do! I'll bet if it weren't for him you could be going on a date with James Potter right now, instead of being stuck with that nobody from Slytherin..."

Ignoring her roommate's complaints, Lily looked around the great hall, a soft smile replacing the frown on her lips as she saw Severus standing by the door in apparent apathy. His dark robes hung from him awkwardly, seeming far too vast for such a skinny boy, but Lily didn't mind in the slightest.

He was early.

"Oh no, he's here," muttered Sabrina, although in a breathy voice far different than the disappointed tones she had been using. Her eyes instead lay on a different, albeit still shabby figure. "Quick, do I look alright?"

"Yes, you look quite alright, don't worry," replied Lily dryly, not even bothering to glance at her companion. She had already seen the girl putting on copious amounts of make-up, and knew that with Sabrina's skill at the art, every blemish was surely concealed and her best features were surely accented to perfection. "Honestly, if you jumped off a bridge you'd still look gorgeous."

"You're...sure?"

Sighing, Lily glanced at the girl, and then blinked in a double take at the desperate, blushing look on her face. If Lily didn't know any better, she'd have thought that Sabrina had suddenly realized that James Potter had told her that he wanted the snooty pureblood to be 'his girl', so pink her face was. "Sabrina, is something the matter?"

Her eyes darting around, refusing to look Lily in the eye, Sabrina spoke in fake, overly-bright tones. "No, it's nothing, just wanting to make sure that I look good for a stroll around Hogsmeade is all. Can't a girl want to look nice for a stroll?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "But I thought you were going with Remus..."

Sabrina's pink face went straight to tomato-red as her blush deepened. With her voice even higher than before, she replied, "S-so? It's just a stroll with Remus is all, around Hogsmeade where there's a lot of people who might be looking at me. Is it so bad that I want to look pretty for a silly, meaningless stroll, is it really?"

"So you don't mind if Remus thinks you look hideous?" replied Lily, grinning at the look of sudden horror on Sabrina's face as she pulled a small compact mirror out of one of the pockets to her robes, checking her face frantically. Giggling, Lily laid a comforting hand on the other girl's shoulder. "Relax, you'll knock Remus' socks right off his feet, don't worry."

Severus' cool voice came from behind Lily, a frown audible in his words, "Lily, are you quite ready to go? Our...companion has already left, and I really can't afford to wait for the two of you to finish...talking."

Lily bowed her head apologetically. "Sorry, Sev. Sabrina was worried about something and needed a bit of bolstering."

Severus glanced at Sabrina, who was looking right at him as if he were a particularly ugly wart. A nasty smile playing across his rather-crooked teeth, the Slytherin boy said snidely, "If you're wanting to impress your pathetic worm of a boyfriend, you needn't worry. Looks don't matter all that much for his sort, I think."

"Severus!" Lily gave him a frosty glare. "That was quite uncalled for!"

Severus raised his eyebrows, a strange expression on his face as he returned Lily's glare with a patient look. "It's true though. The likes of Remus Lupin wouldn't care if she came in wearing a burlap sack, so why worry what she looks like?" He paused, turning to Sabrina and saying offhandedly, "You do look nice though. Now Lily, can we get going?"

"Just a min-"

"H-hello, all." It was Remus, who stood a bit off from the rest of them, a hand hesitantly held in the air. "Sabrina...you look really pretty, beautiful even..."

"Oh, this old thing?" Sabrina laughed in a high-pitched voice, fooling nobody Lily was sure. "I just threw it on before heading down is all... You look very handsome though." And indeed, if Lily didn't know better she'd say that Sabrina hadn't eaten anything for a week and Remus was a nice hunk of prime rib, so hungry was her look...

A cold voice broke the moment, saying cruelly, "Lying to your date to spare his feelings won't help, you know. No point in getting Lupin's hopes up; they'll only be eaten by the fleas." Severus snorted, muttering under his breath, "Love may be blind, but _really_, even _you _deserve better than a spineless little turd like him."

Lily glared at Severus, as Remus had done nothing deserving of insults, but someone else interrupted her before she could say anything.

"He's not _spineless_," retorted Sabrina, blue eyes blazing as her wand whipped out. "You _will _take that back."

Severus, who had at some point drawn his own wand, held it lazily in his left hand as he gave a bitter smirk at the Gryffindor boy. Remus backed up slowly, wary-eyed with his own wand drawn, a hurt expression upon his face.

Severus only scoffed, "Why should I? He can't stand up to his enemies and _won't _stand up to his friends. That's spineless in my book." Noticing her wand arm positively shaking with suppressed rage, as if she wanted nothing more than to wipe the smirk off his face, he shrugged. "You can try the pathetic spell-slinging you call hexing if you want, but you're not going to hit-"

"-Severus, for once in your life, _shut up_!" shouted Lily, causing Severus to break off mid-sentence, turning to stare at her. Breathing heavily, she grabbed Severus by the elbow, before muttering a quick apology to Remus and Sabrina and storming off with her source of aggravation in tow.

"Hey, let go of me!" growled the Slytherin boy, but Lily ignored him, instead dragging him in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. "I said '_let go of me_'!"

Lily didn't bother to look at him, instead replying, "Don't like it? Stop acting like a bloody child, Severus!"

"I wasn't acting like a child, and I didn't hex him or anything." responded Severus in a testy tone of voice. An aggravated expression on his face, he muttered in annoyance, "Besides, it was only a Marauder. Now, can we get going?"

Lily rolled her eyes, ignoring his last comment. "If it were James or Black, then maybe you would have had a point, but when has Remus done anything to you anyway?"

"It's not what he did do; it's what he never does. I call him _spineless _for a reason, as he's probably the only Prefect who doesn't do his job worth a darn. No wonder McGonagall's ticked with him. Besides, we were wasting important-" He paused, interrupting himself while his lips curled in a disgusted frown. "And really, that's got to be the tenth time in the past week you've called Potter '_James_'. Care to explain? I mean, with his 'performances' at the dance and your father's funeral..."

"Well...you see..." Lily felt her face flush, Severus' eyes narrowing as his frown deepened. She winced, having a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't going to end well. "It's like this..." However, in the face of Severus' burning gaze, Lily felt herself quailing like a mouse before the proverbial serpent. Unable to say anything under that livid glare, she looked away guiltily.

Several minutes passed in silence, Lily silent while Severus waited with a cold glare.

"Lily," said Severus finally, his voice tired. "I really don't have the energy to deal with your little crush on Potter right now. I've got to... My friend needs my help right now, and I can't be wasting time with you." Lily turned, only to see him shaking his head as he began to walk away. "I'm sure that James or Mary or whoever won't mind if you... I hope you have a good time at Hogsmeade. "

"You're leaving me?" blurted Lily, her eyes widening.

Severus paused, looking back at her with a shrug, saying quietly, "Yes, Lily, I suppose that I am. You may not seem to realize or care, considering how you were wasting time with Sabrina and Lupin, but I have something very important that I have to do today. If you'd rather spend it gadding about Marauders and romance and other useless stuff, then..." He took a deep breath, then snarled, "...then I'd rather that you didn't come at all!"

Lily bowed her head, guilt suffusing her voice as tears started to fill her eyes. "Severus, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that she was...so important to you."

Severus only glared at her. "Lily, Evelyn Matthews might be some stupid slut to you, I realize that. I know you don't care much about what happens to her, you've sure shown that. I am _not _an idiot, you know, but..." He swallowed, looking back at Lily, his dark eyes flashing with such raw hurt that it felt as if it should scar the red-head's very soul. "...but she's _my friend_, something which I thought _you _would understand! I thought you would at least manage to _care _about it for my sake!"

"I..." She faltered, quailing under the pressure.

"Clearly, I thought wrong." said Severus coolly, before storming off without a second glance, his robes billowing around his scrawny body. "Please, if you have any decency, at least leave me alone."

Lily stood in silence for several minutes, alone in the clearing, tears running down her face.

_"Come on, did you think that I'd leave you to do the right thing all by yourself? Give me some credit at least!"_

That couldn't have possibly gone worse.

* * *

It wasn't until he had reached the town that she managed to catch up to him, red-faced and gasping for breath, having run the whole way there. Hiding in the bushes behind Zonko's, he seemed quite out of place, surely about to be found out at any moment...well, he would have seemed as such if it weren't for the Disillusionment charm on him. If it hadn't been for her greater expertise in Charms and the fact that she had a general idea of where Severus was, she probably would have never found him.

Under his cold, furious gaze though, she realized that finding him would likely be the easy part. She put an identical (although superior) Disillusionment charm on herself and slipped over to where he was hiding, hoping that no-one would notice. Luckily, in spite of the multitude of students milling around the area, not one of them seemed to be aware of her presence as she squatted down beside him.

Biting her lip, Lily said nothing for several seconds, merely watching the boy as he sat beside her. His eyes seemed rather red for a change... Perhaps he had been crying too?

Swallowing, Lily tried to force a smile."So...how is the spying going?"

Silence was the only response, Severus pointedly looking away, his gaze clearly centered on Evelyn. Said young woman was standing by herself a few feet away from the doors to Zonko's, standing on her tip-toes as she tried to peer through the crowd, nervously biting her lip the whole time. A nervous, near-desperate look played across her face, and Lily felt a strange feeling cross through her. It seemed wrong somehow that Evelyn Matthews seemed just as worried as she prepared for her date as Sabrina had when dealing with Remus...

Shaking her head, Lily tried again to get her angry friend to respond, keeping her voice low as she spoke, "I guess that Mr. Marvin hasn't arrived yet then. What time did Evelyn say that she was meeting him?"

Again, there was no verbal reaction on the part of the dark-haired Slytherin. His eyes swept the crowd once though, before returning to focus on the slim young blonde. It seemed he was listening, even if he wasn't saying a word.

Somewhat buoyed by this, Lily tried again, laying a hand on Severus' back as she said, "So...anything? Anything at all?"

In response though, Severus shook her hand off as if it were a particularly annoying bug, deserving nothing more than a fast squashing. Giving her another dirty look, he returned his attention to Evelyn, a cold and obvious snubbing.

Lily stared at him in hurt, pleading in a whisper, "Severus, please talk to me, _please_!"

He didn't say a word, but he did turn to look at her emotionlessly, save for a single eyebrow which had been raised as if to say 'Why should I?'

Lily sighed; she could easily understand the sentiment, even if it hurt her. Evelyn was obviously very important to him...and she had let him down, badly. Knowing this didn't make apologizing any easier, as even if she knew she owed him one for how she had acted...she really didn't like Evelyn.

"Sev..." Severus watched her with a strange look in his eyes. "...I just wanted to say that..." Lily swallowed, feeling a sort of dryness in her throat. "...I really didn't mean to do something like that. I got...caught up in stuff, and completely forgot what I had been planning. I wasn't trying to distract you, or sabotage you, or anything like that. I really-"

"Apology accepted," interrupted Severus coolly, returning his gaze to Evelyn, who was now in the process of surreptitiously checking her watch.

"That's it?" asked Lily, blinking in surprise. "Apology accepted?"

Severus raised his eyebrows again, his eyes still fixated on the lonely figure at the joke shop's entrance. "Were you hoping for trumpets? I'm afraid that that will have to wait until this 'date' is over with."

"No, it's only that..." Lily floundered, part of her wondering why she was pressing him on this when he had already forgiven her. "It's...why did you forgive me? It doesn't make sense..." She bowed her head, muttering stupidly, "I wasn't even finished apologizing..."

Severus shrugged, his dark eyes as cold as black stone. "I realized that I was wasting my time getting angry with you over this, as I have _far _more important things to take care of. Besides..." He sighed, shaking his head. "...it's not like Evelyn is as important to you as she is to me. I mean...she isn't the kind of person you would ever want to associate with, so why _should _you care as much? Really, I was being quite foolish to expect such a thing of you."

"Because _you_ care about her," replied Lily quietly, staring at her feet. "Really, that should be all the reason I need..." Lily bit her lip, letting her gaze rise to the thin boy's covered stomach. "It's all the reason I do need..."

Severus turned and gazed at her for several seconds, pink in the face, finally responding, "Thank you, but it's hardly necessary..." He looked back at Evelyn again. "It is much appreciated though..."

Still feeling as if she needed to say something, Lily blurted out, "It's just...you never seemed that close to any of your other friends, never going so far to take care of them. I mean, why Evelyn? Why not...Mulciber or Avery? Hell, why not me?" Unable to keep bitterness from coursing through her voice, she spat out, "I mean, why not ever do something like this for me? It's like you only seem to care about your dear _Evelyn_?"

Severus whirled around, staring at her as if she had grown a second head, then another one to boot. A darkly smooth edge in his voice, he replied in silky tones, his eyebrows twitching nonetheless, "And what would you have me do for you, Lily? What grave danger has befallen you that you need some...'knight in shining armor' to rescue you?" He snorted derisively. "Hell, what small, little thing could you require my assistance with?"

"I...err..." Come to think of it, when was the last time she had really needed Severus' help? "I dunno."

A sneer on his pallid face, Severus continued in the same, silky tones, waving an arm vaguely as he spoke, "Then would you have me perform some grand gesture, some clever little trick, merely for the sake of appearances? To declare to the highest heavens that you are _important_ to me?" His voice gained a sudden, almost-bitter edge. "Would you have me act like Potter, loudly proclaiming my greatness and offering to cater with my _vast _fortune to your _slightest _whim, in a hopefully-vain attempt to get into your knickers? I certainly hope that _that _is not the case!"

"It's not that! I don't want you to do something like that at all...not that that's what James does. He just-"

"He performs grand, meaningless gestures for the sake of getting into your knickers, that is the beginning and the end of it," interrupted Severus in a tone of utter finality. He then looked down, his face flushing as his voice softened. "I really hope that your recent agreeing to have him tutor you isn't a sign that his foolishness has somehow bamboozled you, Lily. I...I don't want to see you do anything stupid."

Lily sat down beside the dark-haired young man, then replied quietly, not able to look at him either, as her cheeks burned with embarrassment, "And if he was doing it all because he thought that it would somehow...win me over, would it really be that bad? He'd be doing those grand, meaningless gestures because he loved me, because he thinks that I am someone he finds lovely and beautiful, because he wanted to be with me. Since when was that bad?"

Severus mumbled something unintelligible, causing Lily to poke him in an effort to get him to speak up. His voice still low, he muttered, "That's not so bad I guess, that he's trying to do things for you because he wants to win you over, leaving me alone, coming to your father's funeral, tutoring you, but..." His tone grew darker, etched with a cold, raw anger, "...but that's _not_ love, and calling it by that name...I _hate _it. It makes my very skin _crawl_ to hear those _idiotic_ girls and their giggling gossip about how 'James Potter loves Lily Evans'!"

Taken aback at his sudden virulence, even greater than it had been back in the clearing, Lily could only whisper his name, "Severus?"

He didn't even seem to notice, his voice shook with barely-contained hatred, seeming somehow out of place as the two of them sat concealed in the bushes under the bright, mid-day sun. He spoke in a low growl now, the last traces of silkiness gone in his great fury. "It's notlove, it's _not_! Love isn't about whether the person wants to kiss you, hold hands with you or dunderheaded silliness of that nature, it's not about who you want to take to some bloody weekend at Hogsmeade, or whether this smile means that or that smirk means this! It's..."

He paused, apparently searching for the words as Lily simply stood there, submerged in his passionate diatribe. "It's something...more than that, it's got to be, or it's just foolishness. Whatever it is though...Potter doesn't have it... Maybe he never will. Whatever it is though...don't, just don't call it _love_!"

There was stunned silence, Lily's lips opening and closing as she tried to find words to speak. Finally, she said feebly, "Severus, don't you think you're asking a bit much of the guy?"

"I'd say it's hardly enough," replied the young man dryly, panting as if he had just finished running some great race. "Now could we drop it, we've got better things to take care of than this...talk."

Lily nodded slowly, turning to look at Severus out of the corner of her eyes when she remembered something he had said before his rant. "Alright, but Severus, I didn't mean to say that you do nothing for me. I don't think that, really I don't... I was just, I don't know...something about Evelyn makes me just so mad when I think about-"

Severus interrupted her though, cursing loudly as he pointed where Evelyn _had _been. "Bloody hell, Evelyn's must've given us the slip while we were talking. Come on!"

Seeing Severus sprinting off in the direction of the Hog's Head, the favored place to go when a student wanted to spend 'quality time' with a significant other, Lily realized that the time to talk about that sort of thing had passed, at least for now.

Making a mental note to bring the subject up later, as she definitely needed to apologize for her earlier words, Lily followed.

* * *

At the speed Severus was running, it had soon become all Lily could do to stay within eyesight of him, his longer legs proving their worth as he quickly outdistanced her. Luckily, the Hog's Head hadn't been too far away, but still Lily had had to spend several minutes trying to catch her breath when she finally arrived. Panting, she asked Severus, who was surveying the area frantically, "Any...any sign...of her?'

His eyes dark with worry, he whipped his head around again and again, terror visible in his visage as he tried to catch sight of the elusive blond. Several seconds passed with no response, Severus' nervousness proving contagious as Lily started to fidget herself, until finally his shoulders slumped. His voice tight, seeming unaffected by the hard run, he spoke, "Not a one. I can't _believe _I let myself get distracted talking with you... I'm such an idiot. Where could she...wait..." He tilted his head, squinting, then pointed with a whispered, "There! It's that Marvin fellow; he's standing by the counter inside!"

Squinting, Lily was taken aback momentarily by the seeming normalness of the Hufflepuff boy: a tall, stocky boy of probably sixth or seventh year, he had long, golden hair and a small, quiet little smile, wearing a set of Muggle jeans and an orange t-shirt. Lily had a hard time believing that a young man such as that could be the person Severus was worried about. Doubtfully, she asked, "That's him? Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure," replied Severus irritably. "Mind keeping an eye out for Evelyn while I go have a few words with him?"

"What?"

Severus gave her an impatient look, replying in biting tones, "If I do this right, then maybe I can get him to head home on my own; just keep Evelyn busy while I'm doing it, alright?"

Giving him a quick glare to show him she didn't care for his rudeness, Lily thought about it a moment, then nodded. "Fine, I'll keep her from bothering the two of you."

"Thanks. Now, allow me..." Without a further word, Severus swept into the Hog's Head, leaving Lily alone in the muggy Spring weather.

"Hope this doesn't take too long," muttered the red-head to herself, muttering a quick cooling charm as she stood outside the door. "I still need to bloody apologize to him."

"Have you been following me around all day, or is it just a coincidence that I keep seeing you?" came a suspicious drawl from behind Lily, who managed to resist the instinct to jump, instead turning to stare right into the pale, annoyed face of Evelyn Matthews.

"Err, no?" Lily fibbed , wishing that she had developed some skill at lying as Evelyn gave her a look, raising her eyebrows skeptically. "Really, I wasn't following you, I was just-"

"Whatever you were _just_," interrupted Evelyn, her voice cold. "Make sure that you and Severus don't do it again. I've been _trying _to have a date with Darwinnus, and it's bad enough that he couldn't-" She halted mid-speech, instead sighing. "Look, I've been having a trying day and I don't need anything else bothering me."

"Sure." Lily winced though as Evelyn started to walk away, as she remembered that she had told Severus she'd keep Evelyn busy, so she quickly spoke, "So...why do you like this guy?"

Evelyn blinked, looking at her strangely. "Excuse me?"

"Err...I was just...curious?" Waving her hands, Lily tried to fake sincerity...she wasn't sure she did too well.

"Really..." The blond deadpanned, before smirking in a rather malicious manner. "Well, I heard he has a big todger and was hoping he'd give me a hot, sweaty ride as we eat dinner. Did you want to watch?"

"I..._ew_! That's _disgusting_!" Lily shuddered in disgust.

Evelyn's smirk widened, and she said idly, picking her fingernails. "What? He's hot, and I'm sure that the sex is _divine_! Just imagine his strong arms wrapped around me as I go up and down, up and down..."

"You really are a slut, aren't you?" Lily's hands found their way to her hips as she retorted, her promise to Severus all but forgotten in her disgust. "Do you think about _anything _other than that? Anything at all? I mean, what would your mother say if she could hear you? I can't _believe _that Severus wants to be friends with such a _disgusting _whore as you! If I had my way, he'd drop you, now!"

Evelyn paused, emotions flickering across her face as her smile faded, her lips set into a thin, angry line. Lily braced herself for shouting, only to get a bad feeling when the other woman started smiling again. Quickly, Lily let her hand drop to her wand in preparation for...whatever. However, the blonde merely chuckled, placing a finger on her lips as her smile widened in a manner that Lily would find friendly...if she wasn't afraid that the Ravenclaw was about to remove her head from her shoulders. In a confiding sort of tone, she spoke, "You know Lily, I've got a little theory..."

"Err...what kind of theory?" replied Lily in a whisper, drawing her wand from her pocket surreptitiously as she did so.

"My theory is that Severus would be much better off if I got rid of the riff-raff that keeps bothering him, hanging him around him all the time and taking up time that really should be for more...deserving people, you know?" She laughed mirthlessly, smirking at Lily. "Doesn't it sound like a perfect plan?

"I...err...I..." Lily stuttered in reply.

Evelyn didn't even seem to notice, instead continuing with that same, falsely-friendly tone as she slowly walked forward, forcing Lily to take a step back, then another, "If I pulled the strings just right, if I kept bugging him about it enough, he'd probably be willing to forgo those annoying Slytherin leeches, perhaps even you? Then I could replace them all with some hand-picked friends of mine. Sounds _brilliant_, doesn't it?"

"Uh..." Lily looked around for some distraction from this truly terrifying conversation. "I think I heard someone callin-"

"_Doesn't it_?" Evelyn had her backed against the wall, still possessing that terrifying grin.

"I...well..." Lily took a deep breath, then replied determinedly, the wand in her hand giving her the strength to speak, "No, it doesn't! It sounds disgusting and appalling, and like you're positively insane for even thinking it." Forcing the words out, she poked her wand into the other woman's ribs and pushed her back. "They have an expression that describes people like people like that actually, '_control freak_'. Your '_theory_' is absurd!"

Evelyn's grin only turned shark-like, even with the wand pressed against her stomach, and she replied in conversational tones, "You know what? I completely agree with you. It's a truly disturbing idea..." She then leaned over Lily's wand and whispered into her ear, chuckling as she spoke, "...which is why I wonder why you seem to think it's such a great idea, so long as you're the one 'pulling the strings'."

"What the hell are you talki-"

"Does it appeal to you I wonder, Severus' friends only being the ones you want? Or is it just that you don't want him to do anything without having your prior say-so?" Now Evelyn's voice was positively frigid, any trace of friendliness having fled from it. "Do you really think that it's your choice of who his friends are, who he hangs out with, _do you_?"

Lily faltered, tripping over her words as she defended herself. "I...it's not like that! I...I was just...I only wanted what was best for him!"

"What was best for him?" replied the woman softly, hatred filling her voice. "You have no idea how alike the two of you are, do you? It took me forever for me to get him to stop trying to 'help' me with my boyfriends. The two of you are just so overprotective, so _controlling_ that it really makes me _sick_."

"It's because we're-"

"So leave me the hell alone so I can go on my bloody _date_, _alright_!" shouted Evelyn, loud enough that Lily caught some stares from some of the bar's patrons inside. Luckily perhaps, Severus hadn't heard, although he was smiling now that Lily noticed. Perhaps things were going well with him and that Marvin guy?

Noticing Lily's sudden distraction, Evelyn followed her gaze to where Severus was talking to the Hufflepuff and froze, her eyes widening with horror as she whispered, "No...no, no, no...don't tell me_...not again_!" Shoving the hot-headed Gryffindor aside, the grey-eyed girl ran inside at top speed and...

* * *

"I was only trying to help," whispered Severus mutely, staring at his reflection in the lake's surface, wincing as his fingers came into contact with the black eye covering the right side of his face. "She shouldn't have hit me..."

Lily simply watched him, saying nothing even as she wrapped an arm around the morose young man.

Finally, he sighed and shook his head. "I...I guess you were right, Lily."

"I...what?" Lily cocked her head, confused. "About what?"

Still shaking his head, he muttered, his voice tired but still forceful, "About..._her_. I shouldn't have been wasting my time...not if she's just going to turn around and repay it like this, not if she's going to call me _that_. Really, I'm well shot of her, aren't I?"

"Right...I suppose..." replied Lily reluctantly, trying to avoid thinking about the whispers of her mind, reminding her of Evelyn's words with torturing, mocking laughter. Continuing weakly, she spoke, "I mean, she insulted you horribly and didn't even seem to care..."

"Yeah..." said Severus quietly, staring again at the lake-water. Suddenly, he spoke up though, glancing at her, "I meant to tell you something earlier, before we got all distracted by our talk of..._him_." He scowled minutely, as if some disgusting smell had wafted its way into his nostrils. "I just wanted to say that...if there was ever anything you really, truly needed, anything at all..." His voice dropped to a whisper as he tilted his head away, only one solitary coal-black eye peeking through the messy hair. "...I'd do it."

Lily swallowed, her tongue feeling thick in her throat as she replied, staring into his dark eyes, "Thank you, Severus...and I'd do the same for you. You're my best friend, after all..."

He nodded slowly, turning back to the lake as he whispered his reply, "And you're my best friend too...and my only real one, I suppose... Thank you."

This time, the inability to speak wasn't from emotion...

...but rather from guilt.

_"Does it appeal to you I wonder, Severus' friends only being the ones you want?"_

**Author's Note: **Sorry about taking so long since my last chapter; I hope the size of this one makes up for it though! I do wonder how you guys will think of the characters in this chapter to be honest, if you review, your impressions would be quite interesting to me.

Speaking of reviews, I hope that I get more for this chapter than I did for the last one; I find it easier to get motivated when I get a lot of them, although I try not to let it be something I get too obsessed by. I still would like to get my per-chapter average back over 12 though.

Regardless, I hope you all enjoy it!


	20. Growing Desperation

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 20**

**Growing Desperation**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

_Dear Perseus,_

_First of all, I want you to know that you are not at fault for your mother's death. You were NOT the reason she died, I'm sure of it. You said yourself that she had been dealing with his disgusting habits for your entire life, right? Well, maybe she got tired of having to spend year after year dealing with them and...dealt with the problem._

_I know it's hard, and sad, and painful, but you can't spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for something that is not your fault. Whether or not you're dwelling on the might-have-beens (and you SHOULDN'T!), you shouldn't be thinking that you are at fault in any way, shape or form!_

_As for the other stuff you mentioned, I can understand a desire for the power to protect yourself...but I don't think it should be your primary, or even a major goal. It's just...no matter how much you try to stop bad things from happening to you sometimes they just are going to happen, like with your mother. So why not try to...I...I just don't don't know, but it doesn't seem like it's going to make anyone happier, least of all you._

_I think that you're the one who is making a mistake. I'm sure there are people out there who would be friends with you, really._

_As for your new spell, I don't really know how you could improve it without seeing it in action. It seems very good at doing exactly what it is designed to do, you know? It's not flashy, it's potentially battle-winning, and you don't even need to hit your opponent with a spell as long as you can Leglimence them. Still, I must say that I'm growing to rather like it, even if I haven't seen how it works. It could end a dangerous situation without having to blow up half the place or however boys like to handle their problems._

_In fact, one might even say that it's rather mature of you. Good idea._

_I hope that you are doing well...and that you are not too troubled by those thoughts you shouldn't be thinking._

_Your friend, _

_Medusa_

Only a couple of days later, the first practical examinations for creating Patroni in DADA had arrived. No-one had actually been able to create one of yet, but most had managed to create a whitish mist that Professor Skeith claimed was 'merely the first step, so stop whining!'. Lily had managed to achieve such a thing with little difficulty of course, focusing on happy memories of spending time with her father when he was alive. Although still not the full Patronus, it was certainly far thicker than it had been the last time she attempted it. James had whistled in cheerful acknowledgement when she performed it, while Severus had merely stared into space, not saying anything.

In fact, he hadn't said much the entire time they were in class, not that Lily spent all her time gabbing or anything. Still, it was very odd indeed... Maybe he had been shaken up more than she thought by what happened in Hogsmeade. The fact that he seemed to be making an effort to avoid looking in Evelyn's direction certainly seemed to support this theory...

_"You know, Severus, I've got a little theory..."_

Lily's low growl caused James to glance at her questioningly, perhaps wondering if she were angry at him. Shaking her head both to let him know he wasn't in trouble and to clear her thoughts of..._her_, Lily took a deep breath and smiled brightly at the boy sitting beside her. "So...feeling confident about your Patronus charm, Severus?"

Several seconds passed with Severus watching the nearby bookshelves, before he said quietly, "Not particularly."

Lily blinked in surprise. "Oh, why's that? You practiced...last week, right?"

He said nothing this time, merely nodding with jaw taut.

"He must have been hurt more than I thought," muttered Lily to herself, even as she returned her attention to the front of the class, where Skeith had apparently reached the 'P's' section.

"Mr. Potter, it's your turn to show your patronus."

"Alright, professor, and might I say that's a lovely bowler hat," replied James in an overly smarmy tone of voice, winking at Lily as he walked to the front, making her blush. He might have more than a bit of arrogance, but he certainly knew how to sell himself when he wasn't taking himself too seriously. Taking a deep breath, the boy bellowed out, _"Expecto Patronum!" _Almost immediately, a thick white mist spilled from his wand, coalescing into a cloud in front of him as James grinned cockily.

Professor Skeith looked it up and down, smiling faintly as he replied, "Well done, and I suppose it is nice to see someone who appreciates fine head-ware..."

"Thank you-"

"...but next time, please let your skills speak for themselves, Mr. Potter," finished the older man with a chuckle as most of the classroom roared with laughter. "They certainly seem to suffice on their own, thankfully."

Laughing along with the rest of the class, Lily turned to grin at Severus, only to find that he hadn't seemed to notice. Frowning, she poked him on the shoulder.

"Yes?" replied Severus quietly, looking quite...terrified?

Quite unsettled, Lily spoke, "Severus, is there something the-"

However, she was interrupted by the professor calling out harshly, "Mr. Snape, you're up."

Pale as Lucius Malfoy, Severus walked to the front of the class, his eyes flickering across the classroom, lingering momentarily on a certain unnamed traitor-harpy. His jaw rigid, he then said in a near-whisper, _"Expecto Patronum." _

In contrast to James, not the slightest thing happened, not even the smallest speck of white issuing from his wand. It was as if nothing had happened at all, as if he had been merely mouthing the words rather than actually trying to cast a spell. Most of the class seemed rather dumb-struck at this, and speaking of the one who had just gone, the Gryffindor boy looked as if he were barely fighting the urge to laugh.

Professor Skeith looked rather perturbed. "Mr. Snape, this isn't a time to be joking around. This is a serious exercise, so please try again, and give it a real try."

Lily bit her lip, willing Severus to do it right. She hadn't seen him practicing, but she couldn't even imagine that Severus Snape, master of everything that remotely related to the Dark Arts, could fail when she had succeeded. Even said unnamed traitor-harpy seemed worried, although Lily spared only enough attention to wish her a swift and untimely demise before refocusing her attention on Severus.

"Y-yes, professor," replied Severus, screwing his eyes shut and bellowing out, _"Expecto Patronum!"_

Again, nothing happened, save for Professor Skeith looking very puzzled as the other students started snickering, enjoying the sight of the best student in the class failing so abysmally. "Mr. Snape...you may return to your seat now. No, wait..." He pulled out a pocket-watch and glanced at it. "...on second thought, class is over for today. We'll finish this next time, and I certainly hope that the rest of you manage to do a better job than Mr. Snape here."

Severus opened his eyes, biting his lip, before almost running out the classroom door, Lily following him. Waiting until they had escaped the flood of students, she grabbed him by the shoulder and asked with no small hint of angry worry, especially given the odd look in his eyes, "Severus, what happened in there?"

He shook his head as if to clear it, then spoke in an anxious tone of voice, "I...I haven't been having much luck with my Patronus spell, but that shouldn't have happened. That...that was 15% of our final marks..."

"Severus, it's DADA, the class you've mastered before you came to Hogwarts. Why are you having problems with it?"

"I...I..." Severus' cheeks burned scarlet. "It's just a difficult spell for me, alright?"

Lily frowned, before remembering the events of the past few months. He'd lost his mother, his best friend had lost her father, and another friend had really stabbed him in the back. Happy thoughts couldn't be easy to find right about now, unless... "I've got an idea, Severus. Use thoughts of _us_!"

"Urk!" Severus stared at her as if she had suddenly grown a tail, his mouth wide open and twitching. "But...you...but how...you're alright with..." Swallowing, he shook his head several times, before replying in a still rather hysteric, but far calmer voice, "No. No, I cannot do that, no. It would be completely disrespectful and wrong of me to think of you in such a manner, no. We'll have to find some other way, because I'm not going to degrade you in such a manner, and I'd rather not think about you...like that. It's wrong, disrespectful and..." Seeming to realize he was repeating himself, he finished with a simple, "...no."

Lily blinked, trying to understand exactly what was going through his head at that moment, when she realized exactly just how her words could have been construed and blushed a bright scarlet. Following all too easily his train of thought now that she was on it, she quite clearly imagined Severus and herself somewhat...less clothed, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear, using the same nigh-seductive voice he favored for describing particularly grand works of magic. His thin, spindling fingers would feel so nice in her hair as he pulled her lips to his...

"Lily, did I err...misunderstand something?" The blush on his face could have lit up a coal mine with ease.

Coughing in an effort to buy herself some time, Lily rubbed her forehead, frowning as she found it rather slick with sweat. When had it grown so humid in here? "Well...um...I didn't exactly mean those sorts of thoughts, just thoughts of us hanging out and doing things together, like that party we went to back in...March, I think it was..." Rubbing her eyes, she tried to focus on diagnosing Severus' Patronus problem, in spite of her distraction. "Not that there's anything particularly wrong with that sort of thing. You're a growing young man, and if it could help, I wouldn't be-"

"No!"

Jarred from her train of thought, Lily came to, only to see Severus clenching his fists with anger. "Severus?"

Severus shook his head again, almost snarling out, "Can we just drop the subject and pretend we never said anything, please!"

"Severus, I think that you'r-"

"Please!"

"Uh...alright then." An awkward silence threatened to break out, before she quickly changed the subject, "So, how do you feel about Slytherin's chances in the next Quidditch match?"

Severus let out a slow, relieved breath. "I suppose that they aren't that good, to tell you the truth..."

"Well, James is one of the best Chasers around, even if it's in spite of the size of his head..." And so the two of them proceeded to work out Slytherin's odds down to a fair degree of detail, Severus betting on them when Lily offered 3-to-1 odds on the bet, chiding him for choosing the side they both knew was probably going to lose. Even as she did so though, chuckling as he suggested that perhaps Potter might get expelled before the game, she couldn't help but linger on what Severus had admitted...and felt a bit unsettled at how he had responded to it.

She didn't realize it quite then, but the pieces to a puzzle long-overlooked were finally beginning to fit together in her mind...and the picture they painted was ominous indeed.

* * *

When Lily had started tutoring sessions with James, she honestly hadn't been expecting much out of him to be honest. His reputation as a slacker was both well-known and well-earned, even if he was equally well-known for his Transfiguration skills. As such, it came as quite a surprise to her to find out that he actually seemed to know what he was doing...

"Now then, try it again; remember, you're an excellent witch, it's just going to take some practice," coaxed the male Gryffindor, a hand on her shoulder as she began to cast the spell, muttering it under her breath.

...Unfortunately, while he seemed to know what he was doing, Lily seemed to be doing no better than she had done in class.

"Watch out, Lily! You're not supposed to use a flick with-" James' alarmed voice was interrupted by an cracking noise and another bright flash of red light.

The result had one of them blinking in befuddlement, the other closing her eyes to shield herself from her failure. For whatever reason, she just couldn't seem to _get _the subject, not anymore. She hadn't ever been the best in the class of course, but now she could barely keep up it, and it was certainly showing now. She had hit a road-block, and it seemed that there wasn't anything she could do about it.

James was the first to speak, "Uh...I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. Considering you were trying to turn it into a glass bowl, how exactly did you manage to turn a spider into a half a turkey leg?"

"No clue," replied Lily in a tight-lipped tone of voice, opening her eyes to see that, yes, she had indeed ended up with lunch as her result. "Listen, I'll try harder next time, really."

"Hmm..." James bit his lip, giving her a weighing sort of look. "We could try this again next week if you prefer. When you're not...distracted or whatever."

"No, I can handle it, let's keep going," replied Lily with forced bravado, shaking her head as if something had attached itself to her skull. "I'm just...having some issues, alright?"

"Alright, then, just try it again. Don't worry, you can do it!" However, James' bravado did absolutely nothing to hide his doubt, which Lily agreed wholeheartedly with by now. "Turn the next one into...a rock, alright? Remember, no flicking!"

Focusing, Lily pointed her wand at the next target: a particularly dusty eraser. Muttering a quick spell, she waited for the inevitable failure to appear.

Her expectations did not disappoint. Just like how her performance had been in class of late, almost spectacularly shoddy, she had only managed to make it look like some weird eraser-rock crossbreed. Well, at least it hadn't been the absurd error her last attempt had been

However, much to her surprise, James grinned at her, chuckling as he undid the transfiguration. Exuberantly, he said, "Excellently done, Lily! Biggest improvement I've ever seen, bar none!"

Lily could only stare at him, wondering if someone had hit him with a spell while they weren't looking. "Um...James, are you alright? That would have got me an 'A' at best, and no way would it have come close to what you usually pull off."

James looked mildly contemplative, even as he continued his nearly-stupid grin. "Well...in two spells, you went from a failure that I can only call impressively-pathetic, to only a boring old bad job. I'd say that's one hell of an improvement! If you keep up that rate, you'll have me licked in a week or two!"

Lily let out a weak laugh, cheered up all the same. "Thanks, James, but I'm still doing really badly, and don't you dare claim otherwise. We can keep at it, but..."

James shook his head. "No, not today; let's finish our session on a high note! Besides...it really is a lovely day outside, don't you think?"

Lily blinked at the complete change of topic. "Uh...sure."

"Want to go for a walk with me, the great victor over Slytherin?" teased James. "Your presence would certainly inspire me...and we're kinda done already. I didn't exactly plan ahead past this point anyway."

Lily rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Well, it couldn't hurt, she supposed. "Alright, why not? Besides, I do owe you for your help and all."

"Well, thanks I suppose." James seemed disappointed somehow, but he nodded nonetheless. "Shall we get going?"

Shrugging, Lily opened the door...only to come face to face with Evelyn Matthews. Whatever good mood she had been feeling instantly froze, then shattered at the sight of the blonde girl's face. Clenching one hand into a fist, she had the sudden impulse to see what it would feel like to smash it into the other female's face, an impulse she barely managed to stay. Gritting her teeth behind a sneer, she spoke in coldly polite tones, "Hello, Matthews, are you on your way to your next victim...sorry, 'client'_?_"

To Lily's distinct displeasure, the Ravenclaw girl merely seemed amused as she replied, "If I were, do you think I would honestly tell you? Regardless, I just came up to study; got to keep up my Potions grades, you know. Didn't know that you were here alo..." She paused, a small smirk creeping onto her face. "I stand corrected, I hope you and Mr. Potter had a good time together."

Lily glowered at Evelyn. "We were just leaving, and, not that it's any of your business, but there's nothing going on of the sort your foul, diseased mind would conjure up."

Evelyn merely shrugged. "Hmm...well then, have fun I suppose."

With that, Lily grabbed James by the wrist and dragged him out, her fellow Gryffindor wisely keeping his mouth shut. They had almost turned the corner when Lily heard the Ravenclaw girl mutter, perhaps to herself, "I'm sure Severus wouldn't see it that way..."

Lily stopped, a red-hot anger creeping over her. Turning around, she snarled at the other girl, "Whatever Severus might think is none, and I mean _none _of your bloody business, Matthews..."

There was a pause, then Evelyn replied in a soft voice, "I suppose you're right, Evans."

Without another word, the blonde entered the room they had been using and closed the door behind her, leaving Lily and James alone in the suddenly-silent corridor.

"Um...shall we get going?" asked James tentatively.

Lily shook her head, her jaw clenched tightly even as her mind burned with hatred toward that wretch of a girl. "Sorry, I'm not feeling quite up to it."

It was perhaps the understatement of the school-year.

* * *

_Dear Perseus,_

_It's been almost a week since my last letter, and I'm sort of wondering if my owl got the letter to you properly. Assuming it has though..._

_I really want you to realize that your mother's death was not your fault and probably had nothing to do with you. Even if she was feeling sad or something, why didn't she just tell you? I'm sure that you would have done something to help had you had the slightest clue that it was that bad for her._

_It's painful, yes, but you really should try and move on. Don't do anything stupid, alright? And please try to respond to my latest message._

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

The Gryffindor table was typically a cheerful place to be around lunchtime, exceptions excepted. James and his friends...and those who wanted to be their friends tended to be particularly rowdy, but even the others tended to be a lively, talkative bunch. Wild rumors would fly about, growing more and more insane with each person who contributed to them; Lily still remembered how people had claimed that the time she hexed James she had turned him into a tap-dancing squirrel. Still, this time Lily barely noticed, as she was engaged in something other than food or conversation, she was watching.

It seemed almost fitting how loud the Gryffindor table usually was when one compared it to the table of their rival house of Slytherin, the house where everyone was always so coolly, mockingly polite...until they decided that you didn't merit the barest shreds of politeness. Although it wasn't true of all of them, Lily could tell that for most of them it was, merely by looking at their faces and seeing the polite smiles and shifty, restless eyes, that seemed to follow everyone in the room.

Lily still remembered how Severus had tried to explain it to her back in first year, with people's seating dependent upon a combination of several factors including birth, personal connections and personal prowess. She had laughed at him then, thinking that they were all being so silly, then giving him a comforting hug when he gave her this really hurt look. It had just seemed so..._odd_, that where one sat at could depend so much upon such a complicated process, that they could take something as that so seriously.

She wasn't laughing now; her eyes were fixed upon where Severus sat, alone at the very end of the long Slytherin table, trying to figure out something she couldn't really describe, only knowing that it gave her an incredible sense of unease. It wasn't the fact that the Slytherins took themselves so seriously that bothered her, it was just another piece of the puzzle that seemed to surround Severus of late, What bothered her was how when she watched Severus, she saw that his eyes were just like the others, paranoid and ever-watching of his neighbors, seeking the barest hint of weakness or threat in the smallest of moves.

Why was it, she wondered, that the most comfortable he ever seemed was when he was hanging out with her? Really, these were the people he had spent years of his life eating lunch, going to classes with, the people the Sorting Hat had had declared he most belonged with, so why did he look so..._hunted_? He shouldn't _be _looking that way; he should look as if he were happy and comfortable, around his own kind. Sure, _Lily _didn't care much for most of them, but-

"Lily, are you alright?"

Lily blinked, breaking off her train of thought as Mary tapped her on the shoulder. Turning so fast she threatened to give herself whiplash, she replied nervously, "Uh, what is it?"

Mary looked at her strangely, then turned and glanced over at the Slytherin table, muttering something under her breath.

"Err, what was that?"

Mary rolled her eyes at Lily. "Nevermind, I was just wondering, have you seen Sabrina today?"

Lily paused, thinking. "Now that I've come to think of it...no. Why?"

"Probably snogging with her 'not-boyfriend'..._again_." The brunette glared at her sandwich as if it were the girl in question, before taking a large bite out of it and swallowing, chasing it down with a quick chug of pumpkin juice. "I wouldn't mind, but we've got to work together for this stupid DADA thing Skeith's making us do. I mean, he's mad; he's making half of our final marks depend on this bloody Patronus thing. Positively mental!"

Lily sighed, nodding glumly. "I know, Severus is having a really hard time with it himself..."

Mary muttered something under her breath, then said in more sympathetic tones, "Well, I'd have a pretty hard time thinking cheery thoughts myself if my mother killed herself, especially with that whole Evelyn thing topping it off. Can't be easy for him."

"That's for sure..." muttered Lily, glaring in Ravenclaw table's direction. "But he seems fine with it, and she was a complete toerag anyway... It's just..."

"Well, I suppose that would be a good thing, I guess," replied Mary, seeming a bit perturbed.

"I don't know..." It was odd, she had been hoping for Severus to give that Ravenclaw tart the old heave-ho for the past few months now...as she was just the sort of person to screw with him like this, but it had been well over a week now and...shouldn't he look...happier? "I guess she must have hurt him more than I thought, with how she ripped into him."

Mary nodded in agreement. "Yeah... She really did a number on him... If I had her ability, Mulciber would be dead right about now. It looked like she practically killed him with what she said, and she didn't fire off a single spell."

"Well, she's never going to get the chance again, that's for sure!" swore the young redhead vehemently. "If she tries that again, I'll start hexing from the beginning this time...and you really should try to cool it down a bit with Mulciber; the two of you are really getting a little out of control, don't you think?"

Somewhat thrown by Lily's change of subject, Mary seemed almost unsure as she answered. "I mean...it's no worse than what he's doing...not yet anyway."

"If it gets any worse, you could get really hurt. Mulciber's no laughing matter, remember."

"Right...well..." Mary floundered, before snapping her fingers. "I've got an idea! Alexandra's throwing a party next week, why not invite Severus to it? That'll surely be a good way to make him some _good _friends, and maybe cheer him up some, right?"

Lily bit her lip. "I don't know..."

_"Does it appeal to you I wonder, Severus' friends only being the ones you want?"_

Narrowing her eyes at the memory, Lily quickly continued, "Actually, that sounds like a capital idea, if Severus could be invited of course."

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to take care of the invites." Mary, seeming quite relieved at the change of subject, grinned. "...although maybe you should stick close to him, just in case."

"Yeah, that'll probably be a good idea..." Now all she had to do was make sure he could make some friends, some _good_ friends. Evelyn was wrong, she was going to help him through this problem, and the first step would be making him forget the stupid slut that caused it!

* * *

_Dear Perseus,_

_Hey, how have you been doing of late? Has your owl died or something? Because I'm starting to wonder why you haven't responded for so long. It's nearly the end of May! Just in case, I told my owl to wait until you gave it your say-so to leave, so you can send it back using my own._

_Have you been thinking any more about that spell? It sounded pretty cool. I'd certainly like to have a discussion about it, if you're interested..._

_Say, I've started reading the Dark Arts book you sent me, and it's pretty good, honestly. That Charlus Potter guy sure knows how to write a good story, and the way he managed to take out that murderer with a controlled fiendfyre was really cool. The guy wasn't even able to see him before Potter had burnt him out!_

_If you want to discuss it some, I'd really like to talk about chapter two, The Emotional Aspects of Utilizing Dark Magicks in Modern Combat. It's really quite fascinating._

_Again...I hope that you aren't beating yourself about your mom's suicide. It really wasn't your fault, but if you need to talk about it, I'm all ears! Really, you didn't do anything wrong, honest!_

_Please write back, and soon._

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

The inside of the Hog's Head was dank and grungy, as if the owner himself barely even cared about it. It catered mostly to the down on their luck and those Hogsmeade residents who preferred to avoid the crowds of students on 'Hogsmeade weekends', even at the price of vastly inferior and possibly dangerous service. As Lily followed Evelyn in, the tart catching the stares of most of the males in the establishment with her skin-tight, light green top and short, yellow mini-skirt, she found herself barely caring as she watched the powder-keg that Evelyn seemed to have become. She had seemed quite angry before, but now her face was a tight mask of worry and anger. She stormed toward where Severus and the Hufflepuff boy...Darwinnus were standing, right by the bar, Severus smirking slightly as he spoke to the other boy, who bore a quite nervous demeanor.

Before she got there though, the stocky boy turned stiffly and started to walk away, only for his eyes to burst open as Evelyn came into his line of sight. An audible gulp seemed to echo through the suddenly-silent room, although most of those at the bar were still conversing. "Uh...hello, Matthews."

Immediately, Evelyn's face broke into a bright, overly-cheerful grin. "Darwinnus, there you are! I'm _sooo _happy to have finally found you! I've been looking everywhere for you. Think we can go on our date now...please?"

"Well, err...actually, there might be a bit of a problem." The Hufflepuff boy shifted awkwardly, and Lily could immediately tell that Evelyn was about to get a possibly-polite, but still painful brush-off. "You see...it's like this..."

Not particularly interested in seeing such a thing, Lily immediately walked over to Severus, a sense of dread threatening to overcome her. Grabbing him by the shoulder, she spoke in a whisper, "Severus, I think it might be a good idea if we were to get going, say right now."

Severus seemed torn, looking worriedly over at Evelyn, who had tears beginning to show in her eyes now as she spoke. Oddly, it was somehow inaudible even though she was right beside them. "I...I don't know. She seems really shook up."

"You have to stop this, don't let this happen, not again!" spoke a pleading, frightened voice, seemingly from Lily's side. When she turned to look at it though, there was no-one there.

Shaking her head, Lily urged Severus, "Trust me, she won't want anyone here. Let's go, _now_."

Nodding slowly, he was about to follow her when suddenly a piercing wail burst through the prior silence.

_"What do you mean, Severus threatened you to get you to dump me?"_

Whipping their heads around, Lily saw out of the corner of her eye that some of the students had stopped in their tracks, turning and into the dusty windows of the bar, perhaps curious as to what anguished creature had cried out. Severus then seemed to realize that Darwinnus had mentioned him by name, as he turned and looked back with a strange expression. "Wait...that's not right..."

"What the hell did you tell that boy, Severus?" asked Lily, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Severus barely glanced at her, shaking his head once before turning and running over to Darwinnus, shouting angrily, "You little rat, you said you wouldn't tell!"

"Tell me what, Severus!" Evelyn's voice boomed, even as it seemed to crack under the weight of emotion, crying even as she shouted. "What did you tell my boyfriend! Did you threaten him with some of those Dark spells of yours, did you?"

Severus looked insulted, glowering at Darwinnus, who was inching away from Evelyn and closer to the door outside. "Of course I didn't, Evelyn! Now, if you'll let me explain-"

Evelyn laughed hysterically, screeching out, "Explain, ha! Please tell me what sort of explanation leads to your little conversation with Darwinnus being innocent when right after it's over, he's halfway out the door and scared to look at me! You wanted to break us up, didn't you!"

"Stop it now, don't let it go on!" The terrified, young voice spoke again, still invisible and seemingly inaudible to everyone but Lily herself. "Don't let her do this, don't let this happen!"

Meanwhile, seemingly unnoticed to the two teenagers, the students outside had turned into a small crowd as more and more clustered around the dilapidated edifice, eager to see what all the commotion was about. Already, the whispering had reached the volume of a buzzing beehive, growing only louder with every second. Realizing she had to act, Lily cleared her throat and said, "Alright, the two of you, cool it down! You're making a scene!" Lowering her voice, she spoke so that only Severus could hear, "Sev, there's a lot of students hanging around outside, and I don't think you want this to be part of the gossip-"

"Of course I did!" Completely ignoring her, Severus shouted right back at Evelyn. "Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying for the past two _weeks_? The guy's a piece of slime, only interested in a cheap lay...whether the girl wants it or not! He didn't want to be your boyfriend, he just heard that there was a free banging for the offering and went sniffing around like some disgusting pig!"

"I...I...y-you...I loved..." Evelyn was hiccupping now, barely understandable in her heartbroken fury, "I l-loved him, Severus, y-you g-great prat. And he loved me too! I know he did! This time, it was going to be different... This time, I would-"

"This time was just like the last five 'this times'!" roared Severus, seeming rather hysterical himself now. "It wasn't the slightest bit different, just another bushel of lies! He wanted sex, not love and all that garbage, just plain sex! He was going to bang you a few times, then 'oops, I need a real girlfriend now', just like the prick who dumped you at Slughorn's party!" Clearly, this seemed to be an argument oft-had among the two friends.

However, unbeknownst to them, the crowd had swollen until Lily would have sworn fifty students were standing outside already, with more joining every minute. Not wanting Severus to make a spectacle of himself, she turned to the crowd and shouted, "Alright, people, move along now, this is a _private _discussion. That means leave! Now go, before I'm forced to give you detenti-"

"Forget about them! Just stop Evelyn! Hex her if you have to, just don't let her do this to him!" The voice was even clearer now, more distinct, and more recognizable. It almost sounded like...Lily herself.

The crowd of students ignored her completely, either not knowing or not caring that she was a Prefect...albeit technically one outside of the school and unable to punish, not that most of them would have known that anyway. Meanwhile, Evelyn shouted, having apparently gotten through the hiccupping state with sheer anger, "That gives you no excuse, now tell me what you told him, you great, sadistic, controlling prat! What did you threaten him with?"

"Do you really want to know what I said to Darwinnus Martin?" Severus spoke the name in contempt, seeming as if to spit it out rather than say it. "The little coward as good as told me what he was in it for! I didn't have to threaten him with Dark Magic, Light Magic, or any kind of magic to get him running! All I had to say was that I'd let people know that he was your boyfriend and he took off like a bat out of hell! He didn't want a relationship with you; he just wanted a bit of chuff to tide him over until his next 'real' girlfriend. He didn't love you! He was so ashamed at the mere _thought _of being in a relationship with you that even the smallest mention of it got him running, lest anyone find out!"

It was apparently then that the two of them finally noticed the crowd of students watching them, as said students had started laughing, so uproariously and mockingly that Lily was sure most of Hogsmeade could hear as well. One particular comment seemed to send them into a near frenzy: "See? Even Snape thinks she's disgusting! Coming from him, that's really saying something!"

At that point, Lily knew that there was nothing more she could do; neither Severus nor Evelyn seemed to care about her presence, and the other students were acting just the same. All she was able to do was pray that something, anything would happen to stop this train-wreck, an earthquake perhaps...

Meanwhile, Evelyn almost seemed to have gone into a trance, as she merely stared at the crowd while they humiliated her again and again with every breath, every word spoken. Finally, she turned to Severus and smiled, a cold smile without even the slightest trace of warmth. A mirthless giggle escaping from her lips, she spoke in mocking tones, "Thanks, Severus Snape, you really are a true friend, really... Haven't you bothered me enough already? Haven't you already spent enough time wasting mine, without _this_?"

"Listen, I didn't mean to-"

"Do you know why I put up with you, Severus, do you?" Evelyn continued, ignoring Severus' apology as she grinned savagely. "It's because, for all the times you bothered me before, at least you were good at one thing: being my own personal Potions-slave. Because I _pretended _to be friends with you, I got to be third in the class, behind you and Evans! All I needed to do was fake a smile or two, you were _sooo _easily satisfied."

She walked toward Severus, almost caressing his cheek as he stood stock-still with horror, much like Lily did herself. "You know, I may be a slut, but at least I'm honest about it. You, you'll put out for anyone willing to pay a few quick compliments, tell you you're really such a good person deep inside, that it's all the fault of those _others _that your life is just so terrible. The only difference between you and me is that I give them my body, you give them access to all the little discoveries you made during those long years when no-one would talk to you but some little Muggleborn girl who made everyone else laugh at you even more. Let's face it, Severus, no-one likes you, not me, not Mulciber, not Avery, not even Lily. You're either the whore we pay to get her chuff or the little reject the Muggleborn slut can point to to say 'at least there's one person in this world who makes me look good'!"

"No, please stop, no more, no more!" Lily heard her voice shouting, no longer sure which her was shouting, but it was soon drowned out by Evelyn's calmly-spoken verbal massacre.

"You know, Severus, I've got a little theory-"

Lily bolted upright, heart pounding in her chest as she woke up from her nightmare, her screaming finally penetrating the dark dream. Shuddering, she whipped her head around, before taking a deep, calming breath. Good, it hadn't been real...well, not that time anyway. Her heart still racing, she got up out of bed and walked over to the window, wondering it 'Perseus' might choose tonight to send her a message. Merlin, she hoped so.

Severus' behavior had grown increasingly distressing for the young Gryffindor over the past few weeks. On the surface it seemed fine; he still went to classes, hung out with her as usual, and even seemed somewhat cheerful when the two of them were alone together in the Potions classroom...but he hadn't spoken to her about Evelyn, his mother, or anything going on in Slytherin since the incident. In fact, he rarely spoke of himself at all. He wasn't happy, she knew this, especially when the two of them were apart. He was presently the only person in DADA to be unable to produce so much as the slightest puff of white smoke when attempting to cast the Patronus, something that was sure to cost him the course if he didn't manage by exam time. Then of course, there was how he hadn't responded to Medusa at all.

"It's all her fault..." whispered Lily to herself, staring sightlessly out into the cloudy night. "_She _did this to him..."

Well, at least she had a plan for helping him now; Severus had agreed to go to Alexandra's party tomorrow, albeit without much in the way of enthusiasm. Lily would make sure that he made at least one new friend, maybe Mary herself. That really ought to cheer him up...and maybe wipe that lonely, scared look off his face for good.

Her course determined and feeling rather calmer now, Lily returned to her bed and shut her eyes, hoping that she wouldn't have another nightmare, or worse, continue the last one.

It had been very fortunate that she had woken up before the Evelyn had really gotten going... It had only gotten worse then.

**Author's Note: **Sorry for taking so long on the update; I went through a couple variations before I settled upon this one, although I hope the length proves to be worth the wait. Thank you very much for all the kind reviews!

_This Chapter was betaed by Dylan S. Thompson._


	21. Giving Up Smashed

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 21**

**Giving Up Smashed **

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

"Alright, Severus, you ready?"

Severus shrugged. "I suppose."

"Nervous?" asked Lily quietly, her eyes fixed on the door to the seemingly darkened classroom in which her house-mate was throwing her party. Luckily, it didn't seem to be a very big thing, as she was very anxious about tonight. Severus had been agreeable to all of her suggestions for how he should dress, although lacking in any real enthusiasm. Still, he had done all she could have asked of him, even if he didn't really seem to care at all about how he looked. Normally, she would have been in perfect agreement with this, but this was different; she wanted him to make a particularly good impression upon the people attending the party, and while she liked how he normally was, that didn't mean that they would...

"Not really," replied Severus with an indifferent nod.

"That makes one of us," muttered Lily to herself, before turning to Severus and nodding slowly. "Right...do you remember what you're supposed to do?"

"Be polite and friendly, courteous even."

"Right," Lily took a deep breath. "Let's go inside."

Severus nodded again, and the two quickly walked up to the door and knocked once, whereupon it swung open to reveal Sabrina, who threw Severus a dirty look before grinning at Lily as she gushed at the top of her lungs, "Lily! I'm so glad you could come tonight; you _never _attend these parties with me!"

Lily sighed mentally; it seemed that Sabrina hadn't changed her mind about Severus yet. "Well, tonight's an exception, I guess. It's good to see you too." At a glance around the room, Lily was reminded why she never attended these parties herself; it was little more than a bunch of jam-packed teenagers talking to each other, with a refreshment table positively covered with various snacks and a single punch bowl. Music played, but it wasn't quite difficult to speak or make herself heard. The attendees seemed to be a mix of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, with a few Ravenclaws and Slytherins as well.

"Indeed, Miss Percival, good to see you." Severus spoke politely, but Lily noticed the narrowing of his eyes. "Are you here with Lupin, I suppose?"

Sabrina seemed rather embarrassed. "Uh...actually, not, not that it's any of your business really."

"I suppose not," replied Severus gravely, glancing at Lily as if to say 'can we please move on to someone...else?'.

Taking the hint, Lily said that they wanted to look around and talk to some of the other attendees, and Sabrina wished them (well, her really) good luck. Severus' relief was palpable, but he still maintained his politeness as he bid the Gryffindor girl farewell. Glancing around for someone she recognized, she whispered in Severus' ear, "Nicely done, just keep that up and we shouldn't have any trouble at all."

Severus' lack of enthusiasm was obvious. "Terrific..."

Lily frowned at that, but quickly saw someone that made her grin: Mary MacDonald was sitting over in a rather drabby corner, seeming rather bored as her eyes swept over the book in her hands, their current DADA textbook. She seemed to notice the pair of them, as she nodded once in their direction, before returning her attention to her book. Glad to see her, Lily threaded her way through the thronging students quickly, Severus trailing behind. "Hey, Mary, glad to see you here."

"It's good to see you too, Lily, Mr. Snape." Nodding at each of them in turn, her eyes lingering...curiously on Severus, Mary turned to Lily. "I _heard _that Sabrina's seen you already. Ironic that for someone who takes such pride in her appearance, herself and her family that she cannot seem to master the concept of volume...although I suppose that might have been due to nervousness."

"Nervousness?" Lily raised an eyebrow, noticing Severus doing the same thing out of the corner of her eye. "Why would she be nervous? She goes to these parties all the time...and Remus isn't here, is he?"

Mary shrugged, an amused smirk on her face as she replied, "I don't know if he's here, really. But the reason that she's nervous, well..." She glanced at Severus, before leaning in to whisper to Lily, "She's been acting really strange all night, going on and on to me about how she shouldn't feel guilty about going to a party without Remus, that she's not his girlfriend or anything. Frankly, I think that she's trying to convince herself more than she's trying to convince me."

Glancing at Severus, who pretended to be studiously examining the punch bowl, Lily replied in a whisper of her own, "But why isn't she going with Remus? I mean, it's not as if they have to declare anything...and they aren't exactly fooling anyone. Three Prefects have already caught them snogging between classes or at night. _Everyone _knows they're together."

"Well..." Mary put a finger to her chin, scratching it slightly as she 'hmm'ed'. "You know how Remus is rather...poor, right?"

"Of course."

Peering at Severus again, the brunette Gryffindor continued, "Per Sabrina, her dad's been very interested in marrying her off well. The Percivals might be distant relations to Dumbledore, but that doesn't mean that they are as wealthy as some of the other pureblood families, the Malfoys and Blacks for instance."

Lily was barely able to keep from shouting. "And he's forbidding them to see each other?"

"Not yet, although I don't think he knows that she's involved with Remus at all." Mary frowned, almost seeming to speak to herself as she whispered, "That's what's really weird..."

Lily nodded slowly. "Yes, it certainly is."

There was a brief pause, then Mary spoke again, this time at a more normal tone of volume, "What's particularly aggravating is that she's dragged me to this party as her 'back-up', in case something should go wrong. I've got to finish this bloody homework for DADA, and it's due _tomorrow_."

"Didn't Skeith assign the paper two weeks ago?" It was Severus, who seemed to have noticed that their private conversation was at an end.

"Yes," replied Mary testily. "I would have done it three days ago, thank you, but I was rather busy panicking over our bloody Patronus and I forgot. The man should be hung for making that such a big part of our grade, really."

"Perhaps Severus could help you," cut in Lily, seeing an opportunity and grabbing it. Putting a hand on Severus' shoulder, she pointed out truthfully, "I mean, you know how he's got top grades in DADA, except for the Patronus thing. He could easily help you get an 'O', I'm sure of it!"

Mary glanced at Severus before returning her gaze to Lily, an annoyed look on her face."I'm not particularly interested in getting help from anyone, not even Mr. 'I already know more about the class than the instructor' here, thank you. I just need a bit of time to work on it in peace is all." Turning to Severus she muttered, "No offence, Mr. Snape."

"None taken."

Lily held her hands up placatingly. "Mary, I'm not trying to insult your skills; I just thought that maybe you would want some help is all."

"I know that, but I'm fine. I just need to finish writing it is all, and really, you are being quite distracting." She looked again at Severus with a quirk of a smile, before whispering to Lily, "Why not just have fun at the party? You're going a little overboard, don't you think?"

Remembering the hunted look that had been gracing Severus' face far too often of late, Lily shook her head, her voice hardening slightly as she replied, "Not even remotely." Turning back to Severus, Lily continued, "Come on, Sev, let's mix and mingle. Theres dozens of people here and the night is still young!"

Severus rolled his eyes, but allowed her to lead him back into the crowd.

* * *

Lily sighed as she watched Severus talking to a Hufflepuff boy, fifth year perhaps-She didn't recognize him from any of her classes. It didn't matter, she supposed as she watched him giving that oh-so-polite smile. She doubted that she'd ever speak to him, even as he chatted smilingly with Severus. She could tell already what would happen, the boy glancing around the room wildly with that fake smile pasted on. Any minute, he would 'suddenly' see a friend or something that, and apologize politely, then quickly leave without looking back. She knew it, the boy knew it, and so did Severus, who nevertheless continued his poor attempts at friendliness.

It was nothing more than a repeat of what had happened the entire night, albeit somewhat nicer than the rest of Severus' attempts at friend-making. Severus would sigh, and then go up to talk to someone, maintaining a calm politeness all the while. In return, they would quickly...decline (laughing in his face in some instances), leaving him looking tiredly at Lily, taking another sip of the punch in his hand before trying again with the next person. He had gone through fifteen already (she had watched each and every one), with no takers. Although Lily didn't want him to give up, as she wasn't quite ready to give up, she had begun to mentally term it a fiasco...and a fiasco it was...

_"Does it appeal to you I wonder, Severus' friends only being the ones you want?"_

Instead of trying to argue with the mocking words of Evelyn Matthews, still haunting her weeks after the fact, Lily preferred to watch Severus, that brilliant, loyal boy who called her his best friend. He had spent the past couple hours getting mocked and put down, again and again, all because she had asked it of him. True, it was for his benefit to begin with, but it didn't take Dumbledore to see that he had no interest in this at all, only doing it because she wanted him to. Really, it was quite sweet of him, she had to admit, and just so...cute. She took another sip of the delicious fruit punch in her hand to cover her blooming smile.

She wanted to hug him right then, and had they been alone, she surely would have. She just felt so warm right now thinking about it, like her whole body had lain curled up next to the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, and who could deserve it more than Sev? Really, would anyone else she knew put themselves out like this? Watching him, she returned her attention to what they were saying.

Severus had already reached the point he sounded both irritated and desperate. "Well, if you don't care much for Potions or DADA...perhaps you would be interested in Gobstones. I learned a bit about that when I was younger..."

"..."

At the lack of response, Severus glared at the boy until he muttered, "Uh...maybe, I'll have to think about it."

Alright, he wasn't doing a great job of being charming, she had to admit, but did that really matter all that much? She just wanted them to hang out with Severus and chat for a few minutes, not become best friends for life! Did any of them, those cruel, careless people even care about that? Did he deserve to be treated as a piece of dirt by everyone? Why did they do it anyway? Was it because he was a Slytherin? Poor? A Halfblood? She didn't know anymore... He was trying so hard...what more could they ask of him?

"Look...I've got some...stuff to do for tomorrow, so goodbye Snape." And with that, the boy quickly fled the conversation, leaving Severus sighing dismally.

Turning to her, he asked quietly, his empty cup of punch held limply in his hands, "Is that enough do you think, Lily? We've been at it for quite a while with no results..."

Reluctantly, Lily looked into his dark eyes, silently begging for mercy. Nodding sadly, she acquiesced, "Alright, Severus. I think you've done qui-"

"Why, hello there!" Whipping her head around, Lily nearly ran right into a Ravenclaw boy as he stood between her and Severus, bright white teeth gleaming as he smiled at both of them. "You must be Severus Snape...and Lily Eben?"

"Evans, thank you," replied Lily with a quizzical look at the boy. With his blond hair and toothy grin, she was vaguely reminded of a picture or two she had seen in one of Petunia's magazines. "And what was your name, again?"

He blinked, startled from apparent shock, and then grinned as he offered her a hand. "Gilderoy's the name, Gilderoy Lockhart."

"I...see." Lily frowned, recognizing the name. Gilderoy was a seventh-year rather well-known as an insensitive braggart, always claiming that he was one of the best students in Ravenclaw...but then again Severus was rather well-known for being a scummy friend, a scummy blood-traitor, a scummy Death Eater, and worse still, so perhaps it was exaggeration. Pointing in Severus' direction, Lily smiled as she introduced her friend, "Well, this is Severus." Deciding to talk him up a bit, she went on, "He's one of the best students of our year, top of the class at Potions, and invented a few already! Heck, he teaches me half the time!" She left out that she taught him the other half, figuring it didn't matter in this case; she wasn't trying to show how smart _she _was, after all.

"And so it is! How nice to meet you, Mr. Snape!" Grinning brightly at Severus, Gilderoy shook the hand of the suspicious young man. "I've heard so much about you; you're the best student in Ol' Sluggy's class from sixth year, or so I heard. Nothing compared to me, of course, but still not bad! Still, I'd be willing to let you be an acquaintance of mine, if you're interested."

Severus' eyes smoldered and he opened his mouth to speak. Fearing he was about to drive off the first boy who seemed remotely interested in talking to him, Lily nudged him in the side and jerked her head in Gilderoy's direction. Giving her an annoyed look, he said coolly, "Perhaps I'd be interested...Gilderoy. Are you interested in Potions professionally, by chance?"

The blond-haired boy laughed, grinning as he replied, "Well, I've got so many options it's sometimes hard to decide, but perhaps publishing a new invention or two in Potions would be a good way to begin my career. I've got three Potions Masters interested in having me show them my ideas already, haven't you heard? Not sure if I'll say yes, though. So many things to do!"

Lily raised an eyebrow, absent-mindedly tracing her hand against something warm as she spoke, "I thought that you had to pass your N.E.W.T.s to even get a Potions Master to talk to you."

Gilderoy blinked, seeming caught off guard. "Uh...I guess for someone of my skills, they decided to make an exception. Sometimes you just can't hold back greatness, and with my work on the thirteenth use of dragon's blood... I didn't tell you about that, did I? Well..."

As he continued to speak, Severus bent over and murmured two words into her ear, "Incorrigible. Liar."

Overtaken by a fit of the giggles, Lily needed to brace herself against Severus (how long had her hand been there?) to keep from falling over, as suddenly dizzy as she felt. Taking another gulp of punch to steady herself, she whispered back, "Maybe he's just a little full of himself?" Sure, he did seem to be a lying braggart, but he seemed harmless enough, she supposed. Besides, he did seem interested in being friends with Severus...

Using one hand to gesture at Gilderoy as the boy continued to ramble on to an inattentive audience Severus asked weakly, "A _little_? Lily, he makes Potter look-"

A bored-sounding voice interrupted him before he got going, "Hey, Snape, a word." It was Mulciber, looking down at Severus and Lily as if they were something he scraped off his boot. "Someone told me to come get you, and they're right outside the classroom."

Severus looked down at his own feet, seeming rather tired as he spoke, "Alright, I'll go see what they want... Be back in a few minutes."

"Are you sure, Severus?" Lily asked, glaring at Mulciber as she spoke, both of her hands on her hips now. "I doubt there's anything your..._friends _could want from you if they're going to be this rude."

"Friends with _Snape_?"Mulciber laughed loudly, a great snorting, derisive laugh, although Lily noticed his eyes glancing around nervously. "You're positively barking! I wouldn't be friends with a disgusting little piece of slime like him if you paid me a thousand galleons! Not that either of you could afford it, anyway."

There was a pause, during which Mulciber smirked triumphantly, in which his words seemed to roll around in her head, mocking her. Her face burned with heated rage; half the problems she and Severus had had over the past year were probably thanks to him, and he had the audacity to stand there and _laugh at him_?

"That's rather rude, isn't it?" It was Gilderoy, who seemed to have realized they were no longer listening to him. "I mean, you may not care much for the chap, but there's no need for rudeness, is there!"

"Thank you, Gilderoy." Lily smiled at the Ravenclaw, then turned toward the other, far more hateful blond and spoke furiously, "Mulciber, I already know that you're a disgustingly evil creep, but I'd think that you'd be more grateful to someone helping _you _out so much, wouldn't you? That perhaps you'd have some remote sense of gratitude."

Already turning to walk away, Mulciber glanced back with a sneer. "I have no need to explain myself to a filthy little _Mudblood_. Back off before I have to put you in your place."

"Well, let's see what..." Lily turned to Severus for support, only to see him looking at her with pleading eyes, red-faced with embarrassment. He grasped one of her hands in his own as he shook his head frantically. Sighing, she muttered, "Never mind."

Mulciber chuckled in amusement, even as Severus whispered to her, "Thanks... I'll be right back, I guess."

And with a small smile at her and an appraising glance at the nervous-seeming Gilderoy, he left.

* * *

With Severus gone, Lily sipped at her punch as she glared at Mulciber, hoping that he would leave without her having to spare another word talking to the toerag. Seeming amused at her anger, Mulciber merely watched her with a mirthful grin. Gilderoy glanced nervously between the two of them, seeming rather weak without his smile. Finally, the Ravenclaw boy whispered to her, "Perhaps it would be best to see if there's any more punch; you seem to be running low and all..."

She gave him an annoyed glare. "No."

The staring contest continued for another minute before Mulciber sighed theatrically. "Well, slime, I think that I've wasted enough time dealing with you and the half-blood beggar. Farewell, and please try not to stink up our castle!"

He started to leave, guffawing at his own 'wit', when a cold voice spoke, "Hello, Mulciber."

Almost instantly, he whirled around, drawing his wand as he did so, his eyes scanning frantically before falling upon a figure behind Lily. His voice filled with loathing, he spat out, "MacDonald!"

Instinctively getting out from between then, Lily looked over her shoulder at Mary, and shuddered. The girl had a cold sneer on her face, but it was the sheer hatred in her eyes that made Lily almost pity Mulciber for whatever he had done to make her this angry. An eye on his wand and a hand on her own, the other girl spoke without a touch of amusement, "Mulciber, why are you even here? Didn't you just get out of the Hospital Wing yesterday?"

"Like I'd be scared of some pathetic Mudblood! It's not even a good joke!" shouted Mulciber angrily, but Lily could hear a touch of...was that nervousness in his voice? "I'll be going now though, better things to do than deal with filth like _you_."

"Sure you do..." Mary smirked even as Mulciber stormed off. Turning around, she chuckled and walked back to her corner, not even seeming to notice Lily's presence as she left.

"Alright, that was a bit weird," muttered Lily to herself.

"It's a good thing he left," said Gilderoy with a triumphant grin. "For his sake at least."

Lily nodded grimly. "Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen Mulciber back down like that; Mary must've really-"

"I could've hexed him, of course, but I didn't want to really hurt him...but when he threatened Mary." continued Gilderoy, not even seeming to notice Lily's snort. "...well, let's just say that I've got more than a few tricks up my sleeve. Best in my class for my year, the O.W.L. tester said, but the spells I was using weren't course material and all-"

"Gilderoy," interrupted Lily, not quite up to listening to him prattle on about himself, no matter how grateful she was that he seemed willing to be Severus' friend. Frankly, she had been getting worried that he wouldn't find anyone...although she could already tell he was going to get on her nerves. Gritting her teeth, she offered him in thanks. "Thanks for sticking up for Severus, you seem like an alright sort."

Gilderoy grinned brightly, shaking her hand vigorously. "Well, the headmaster said I would have been head boy this year, but he didn't want the other students to get jealous and attack me. Doesn't mean I won't stick up for the little guy though!" He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "I would like to know when to deliver my Potions homework though...or does he just need the assignment first, and does the rest himself?"

Lily just stared at him, stunned. "What?"

"Does he do it a different way? I'll admit I'm not entirely sure about how he's going to be handling our homework. Does he have some secret method, or something?" Gilderoy continued grinning, laughing in a way that showed off his perfect teeth. "How does he do your Potions work?"

"Wait...you want him to do your homework for you?" Lily whispered, her eyes widening as she stared at him in horror. "That's the whole reason you want him to be your _friend_?"

"Don't worry, it's not like I'll keep him from doing yours or anything!" replied a laughing Gilderoy with his trademark grin, not seeming to notice her tone. "Very clever of you, getting him to do so much of it for you, but then again people like us have far better things to do than mere homework, don't we?"

"You, you..." Lily was speechless, images swimming through her mind of people mocking Severus, swirling around Gilderoy's head.

_"...because he exists..." _James in the past...

_"...Snape, Snape, Snivellus! Snap..."_ All those students...

_"...disgusting piece of slime like him..." _Mulciber...

_"...Severus, I've got a little theory..." _Evelyn...

"I just have one question to ask you," said Gilderoy seriously, not noticing as Lily watched him, mouth agape. "Is he aggravating and rude to his friends all the time? Or is it just say...most of the time? Even great men have limits, you know? Hmm, Evans?"

He never saw the blow coming.

* * *

"Hey Lily, how are you doing?" asked James, seeming far away as he spoke.

Lily stared into her cup of punch, not drinking, just watching as it rippled each time she tapped it with her finger. The sounds of music echoed around, having risen in volume as the night had worn on, the teens' exuberance winning past their fear of getting caught. She probably should have told someone off, or at least gotten them to tone it down a little, but she found it difficult to do more than just sit in her own little dark corner, rather woozy, wondering where Severus was.

"That was a nice hit! Dunno if I've ever seen you hit anyone half that hard!" James was talking to her eagerly, trying to draw her into a conversation.

She tried to humor him, even though she had difficulty paying attention right then. "Yeah, I don't think I did..."

"It was incredible!" He paused, quickly saying, "not that you should be going around hitting people or anything, but it was still a really good one. He'll probably have a bloody nose for a week...well, if he doesn't go to Madam Pomfrey."

Lily sighed, glancing up at him, his brown eyes looking worriedly down at her. "It didn't help much though... It was still a disaster."

"Well..." James floundered, seeming to debate what to say. Finally, he said, "Don't feel too bad about it. I mean, you tried, right? It's not your fault that Lockhart is a giant wanker, right?"

"I wanted to find Severus a friend," said Lily simply, watching as James looked away from her. "After three hours, Lockhart was the best I could find."

"Right..." James lapsed into silence, avoiding her gaze. It wasn't until she turned back to her punch that he spoke again. "You know, Lily...I've been meaning to ask..."

"Ask?"

James swallowed then spoke, sounding as if he were being extra-careful to get his words right, "Remember what I asked you back at the funeral? About the tour around Europe? Well...I think it might be a good idea for you, to get away for a bit afterward."

Lily blinked at him. "Get away for a bit?"

James nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I mean all this drama with Snape, Matthews and your father's death on top of it...wouldn't you want to do something simple and fun for a change or something?"

Frowning, Lily looked at him, noticing the worry in his eyes as he looked back. She considered...then shrugged, unsure if she cared right then. "I...I don't know. I'll think about it, alright? Besides, I've got to get my mom's permission for that I'm sure."

"Alright, now I was-"

"Oi, Prongs!" It was Sirius, seeming torn between urgency and laughter. "Peter's gotten himself stuck in something again, the twit! I think it was those Slytherins again. Mind helping?"

James seemed to consider for a moment, before shrugging. "Alright, Padfoot! I'm coming!" Turning to Lily, he muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess. Be sure to think about it, alright?"

And with that, he was gone. Lily felt mild relief as she returned to seeking her reflection in the liquid in her cup; not that she particularly wanted to avoid him or anything, she just wasn't in the mood for...anything really. Where was Severus anyway? True, it had been only about twenty minutes since he left, but it was a painfully long twenty minutes-

Suddenly, the door slammed, and Severus stormed inside, his black eyes filled with a strange mix of fury...and something else that Lily couldn't quite name at this time. His head whipped around, his gaze scouring the room until it fell upon her, whereupon he seemed to ease up fractionally. Feeling rather lethargic, she watched as, barely seeming to notice anyone else's presence, he managed to slip through the crowd to her. Upon reaching her though, he swayed, almost losing his balance before saying distantly, "Hey, Lily."

"H-hey, Sev." Lily swallowed, her head bowed low as she stared into the cup again, realizing with a jolt that it was empty. Blinking, she asked Severus, "Have a good chat with...I dunno, your Slytherin buddies and all?"

"Hardly...and it wasn't with my Slytherin friends." Severus frowned, a dark look on his face as he sat down, chugging down some of the ever-present punch before continuing, "Evelyn wanted to apologize, said she was sorry for what had happened, didn't mean it and all."

Lily's eyes narrowed with anger, and she spat, "Of course she didn't mean it, the little harlot; it's just a coincidence that exams are coming up in about a month..."

"Right..." Severus frowned, looking down at his hands. "By the way, what happened to Gilderoy?"

Lily's face darkened, as she found herself glaring at Severus, suddenly almost furious at him. "Never say his name again, alright? Rotten little traitorous fink!"

"It's alright..." shrugged Severus, putting an arm around her shoulder as he sighed. "I didn't like him much anyway."

"Mmm..." Lily leaned a little bit into him, too tired to speak. Hearing him sigh again, she looked up, watching his face as he closed his eyes, seeming exhausted too. This close, she could see the frown lines that seemed to be embedding his face, as well as the dark circles underneath his red-rimmed eyes. They only added to her guilt, to her failure... What else could she do to fix it? What else could he do? They had both been trying everything they could, and nothing had worked, nothing at all... Closing her eyes too, unable to look at him, she whispered, "Sev...I'm sorry."

She felt him move, probably looking down at her while she kept her own eyes shut in shame. He spoke in confusion, his breath puffing warmly against her forehead. "Why are you sorry, Lily?"

Feeling inexplicably frightened, Lily replied, still in a voice so soft it was barely more than a murmur, "I couldn't do anything to help you...I can't do anything to help you... You're my best friend and you're miserable because of... And I...I'm horrible. What kind of pathetic person can't even manage to make her best friend happy?"

"It's not your fault, Lily. Really it's not..." He paused, seeming to struggle with something, then suggested quietly, somehow audible over the music, "Maybe all we have to do is try a little bit harder, be a little bit nicer. I've never been all that good at making friends. Perha-"

Bile rising in her throat, Lily shouted, "No!"

Opening her eyes, Lily looked at her best friend, who seemed quite bewildered now. In a quieter tone, she went on, "No, Severus, we're not going to do that, not anymore." A snarl entered her voice, anger roaring through her. "Why should you have to jump through a thousand hoops so they'll accept you as worthy of consideration? Hmm? It's not like you're a murderer or rapist or anything! There's loads of worse people in this school, so why should you be the one who has to bow and scrape for them?"

There was silence as she finished, save for the music in the background, Severus merely staring silently at her as if she had gone quite mad. Lily wondered if perhaps it were true; she certainly seemed to be out of control tonight, that was for sure. Swallowing, she looked in his eyes and admitted, both to herself and him, "It's hopeless, Sev, completely and utterly hopeless. They...they're just not going to change their minds, no matter what we do." She chuckled, her laughter sounding like sobbing even to her own ears. "I thought that if I could get you away from _those _people...that everything would be alright. You've been so unhappy, and I thought that I could help you..."

Severus watched her, his eyes unmoving, his only movement his right arm as it wrapped around her stomach, drawing her closer to him.

"...but I was wrong, Severus. I can't help you..." whispered Lily, a single tear slipping down her cheek as she smiled a hollow smile. "...I can't help anyone. With all the damage I've done, what kind of friend can I claim to be?"

There was a brief pause, during which Severus frowned at her...then he shook his head, his lips quirking into an almost-smile..

"A foolish one, that's for sure," Severus spoke in quiet, honest tones, chiding her lightly as he held her close. "You, a poor friend?" He shook his head, snorting in disbelief. "I can't even begin to see how you could ever consider such an absurd proposition. You've been by far the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you think yourself insufficiently good to me?"

"Severus, you don't seem to understand." Lily protested feebly, wanting to show Severus that he was wrong about her, even though part of her felt a sense of warmth rising with every word he spoke. "I...I tried to help, but I just-"

"Lily," Severus interrupted, his determined, dark eyes so close that they were all she could see. "tonight was a disaster, just like every single blasted time you had me kissing up to those twits you want me to call friends. You're perfectly right to say that it was a waste of time, a horrible, disgusting waste. I could have told you that long before we came up to this room."

"See? That's what I'm-"

"You see," Severus continued with a slight, tender smile, placing a finger to her lips to silence her, shifting so they were parallel to one another. "it was yet another foolish, inane gesture in a host of foolish, inane gestures that you have performed, the majority of which I either avoid or endure. Again and again, you do things like this, absurd things that seem to completely ignore common sense or how the world works, all probably due to some of your ridiculous Gryffindor zeal. One could very easily ask me why I put up with this...but that completely ignores the reason I consider you my_ best_ friend."

Lily hugged him tightly, tears falling from her cheeks as he spoke.

Pulling her closer still, his pallid cheek now touching hers as his lips rested not even an inch from her now-shivering ear, he whispered, "You've never looked at me as if I were some pitiful, pathetic reject from the slums, hated by his father and ignored by his mother. You look at me as if I could be-maybe even am-someone amazing or incredible, like I could change the world if I put my mind to it. When I disappoint, you get so mad, like you can't even begin to understand _how_ I could have possibly failed so drastically. Evel..." He paused, grimacing, "A former friend of mine once told me that you only seem to really notice when I mess up, never when Potter, Black, or Percival do, forgiving them so quickly and easily. I agreed with her, and I hate it when you do that, I really do..."

Lily quivered in his grasp, listening intently...feeling a small surge of unease along with no small amount of heat, as if the air had been stolen from around her.

"...but at the same time, you keep trying to help me, even when I don't want or perhaps don't need my help, trying harder than you try for anyone...trying harder than anyone else has, and I find myself not minding in the slightest." He shook his head, his lips brushing against her cheek as he spoke, maddeningly close, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I could hate you for all the mistakes you have made, when that you've caused me misery...or cherish you for all the times you've been there to help me, when you've been at my side with your faith in me burning a bright hole in your sleeves, trusting me to be so much more than I am." He held his lips to her cheek, in an almost-kiss as he whispered, tracing the words upon her skin, "I know which I choose."

Lily blushed heatedly, feeling a wondrous warmth coursing through her body at his words, rising even higher when his lips touched her, until she let out a short gasp. Breathing heavily, she leaned back, her eyes devouring his face as she tried to think about what he had said. Did he really think that she only cared when he messed up? She noticed when the others...she just...he was her best friend, so...Severus was right. However...

"Severus..." she said finally, watching him watching her, openness and embarrassment seeming to war on his face, the former winning. "I don't know... I never thought of it that way before, really... I guess I should have thought about how it seemed. It's just...you know that you really underestimate yourself?"

Severus frowned, looking at her curiously. "I underestimate myself?"

"Yes, you do." Lily smiled at him, leaning in closer as she lowered her voice, a tinge of huskiness entering. "It's why I always get so...angry when I see you settling for 'friends' like Mulciber, Avery and..._her_. I keep thinking to myself, why does he let them...use him like that? It took me a while to get it...but that's what it was. They used you, wanted to take away everything good about you, and I _hated _it. I thought that things would be so much better if I could just get you some real friends, friends who wouldn't take advantage of you... Well, that hasn't worked well to be honest, but if they only looked..." She leaned even closer, her smile widening as she let her lips graze his ear as she spoke. "Then maybe they would see what I see."

"W-what you see?" stuttered Severus, breathing heavily.

"Yes, what I see," breathed Lily, unable to resist the impulse to graze his ear with her teeth, closing her eyes.

"I see someone who is brilliant..." She pecked his cheek, the flesh shivering.

"...someone who is loyal..." She nipped his jaw, he let out a low groan, his hands seeming to skip up and down her back.

"...someone who is honest..." She kissed his mouth lightly, smiling as she pulled away, feeling almost giddy as she traced her lips with her tongue. Had it really been so long since the last time?

"...and someone who manages to add meaning into even the simplest of gestures. You mean so-" She was interrupted when he surged forward with a growl, his lips clamping down on hers in a rough, heated kiss.

Not to be out-done, she kissed him back with equal passion, her words forgotten in the moan that escaped her lips. Opening her eyes to look at him again, she noticed that most of the room was staring at them, not having vanished when she forgot their presence. Blushing heatedly, she opened her mouth to say something...

...then Severus started using his tongue, slipping it inside her mouth and tracing the back of her teeth before attacking her own. Her eyes fluttering shut, she decided she had more important business to attend to as she wrapped her hands around his torso and crushed herself against his warm body. Let them watch...

**Author's Note: I was originally planning to put this up Friday, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of my fellow University grads are bored, stuck at home and looking for something interesting to do. As such, enjoy!**

**Also, I'm wondering if the long-chapters are an improvement in your eyes or not. It hasn't been intentional by any means, but they're definitely creeping up there. What do you guys think? Longer or shorter (although probably not faster) chapters?**


	22. Rejection

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 22**

**Rejection**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

The night Lily made out with her best friend was the best she'd had in a very long while...but the morning after, not so much. Deprived of passionate teenage hormones, Lily had realized that perhaps she had moved a _wee_, _tiny _bit too fast for her own good. Severus was her best friend, who she cared deeply about to be sure, but she hadn't ever made it a practice to go snogging best friends before, no matter how much she cared about them.

Sure, there had been a few stray kisses, but none of them had come close to the moan-inducing, knee-buckling affair that had occurred the night prior. There had been evidence of...well, _something _between the two of them before, but now it had been proven beyond all doubt, and it was _big_, and she wasn't sure how to deal with it on her own. As such, feeling that some girl talk was in order, she had taken Sabrina and Mary aside as soon as they had a break between classes. However, upon doing so, she had been informed of a most unpleasant detail, courtesy of a smirking Mary.

"I was _drunk_!"

Seeming unruffled by Lily's scream, Mary simply continued smirking. "As it turns out, some of the students thought it would be amusing to see what would happen if they spiked the punch...the very punch you spent half the night imbibing. I don't know if you remember, but I actually had to help you get home when you were done with your live-action show." She paused, seeming to think. "I wouldn't be surprised if Severus was drunk too, given how much he seemed to be drinking. I wouldn't be surprised if he had to spend the night in the Hospital Wing."

Lily's head ached, images of her and Severus in a passionate embrace skittering through her mind, seeming tainted in the light of day. In a low voice, she nearly growled, "So what you're telling me is that I snogged Sev, my _best friend_, in front of half of Hogwarts...and I was drunk out of my bloody mind! I mean, I didn't feel so good getting out of bed, but _drunk_!"

"Completely," replied Mary, her smirk widening to a grin, clearly enjoying herself. "If it helps, it seemed like you were enjoying yourself. Hell, you practically grabbed his hand and crushed it against your-"

"_Gah_! Do we really need to hear that?" cried Sabrina, until now silent, an expression of near-illness on her face. Shuddering, she glared at Mary, "The poor girl looks traumatized from the experience anyway! Do we have to torment her?"

"What? I remember you yammering on and on about how you and Remus were-"

"That's completely different! Besides-"

"Could both of you _just shut up_!" shouted Lily, interrupting them both with a screech. As they stopped, a chagrined look on each face, she took a breath and continued in a quieter tone of voice, "Please take a moment to think about how _awkward _this is going to be for me, just one moment! I need to go talk to Severus about a kiss that may or may not have meant nothing, because I was completely smashed when I kissed him, him too, and I have absolutely no clue what I should say! Hell, how do I even bring it up? 'Hey, Sev, how about how I tried to stick my tongue down your throat last night'?"

There was a slight pause, then Mary chuckled. "Well, that would certainly be an interesting way to bring up the subject." Her expression turned more serious. "But what really matters is how _you _feel about it, I would think."

Lily blinked. "Huh?"

"Well, I'd think it would be kind of important, wouldn't you?" replied Mary calmly, stroking her chin absentmindedly. "I mean, the conversation's going to go very differently depending on whether or not you thought the kiss was a good thing. If you didn't want it, then it's really just a simple matter of telling him you want to stay 'just friends', but if you did...well, then you've got more to think about. So which is it?"

"Well...I..." Lily floundered, paralyzed with a growing blush.

"This is so stupid," muttered Sabrina, looking away from both of them.

"Let's keep it simple," said Mary, ignoring Sabrina's comment. "Did you, or did you not, _like _kissing him?"

Her face crimson, Lily couldn't look at Sabrina as she replied, "I...yes, I liked kissing him." Oh _Merlin_, this was embarrassing. "It was like...I felt my knees buckle, even though we were sitting down. If we'd been standing, I'd probably have fallen on top of him."

"Alright, that's a start," replied the brunette, ignoring their fellow blonde's outraged spluttering. "Now, where would you like to go from there? A date? A relationship? Friends with Benefits?"

"_Mary_!"

Mary shrugged. "Just letting her know her options...well, more or less."

Lily bit her lip. What did she want? She was pretty sure that she wasn't trying to go for a "Friends with Benefits" sort of deal...but did she want to make Severus her boyfriend or something? Could there be a future with her snarky, unhealthily-thin best friend? Nodding slowly, she took a deep breath. "I think...I'll see if he'd be interested in doing something together sometime, like a date."

Sabrina squawked with outrage, but Mary merely smirked and said, "Well, there you go. Ask him out and see how he feels."

"Alright, thanks for your help. I've got to get to class, anyway." Taking another deep breath, Lily walked away, hearing Sabrina muttering, "This is _not _going to end well."

Right then, she didn't mind, a sense of giddiness enveloping her, warming her from the inside out.

* * *

Although she had told Mary and Sabrina that she needed to get to class, it was a shorter walk than she thought...that, and she had been skipping part of the way. As she crossed the threshold of the classroom, she saw Severus standing in a corner, a frown on his face. She paused, taking a deep breath. All right, now was her chance, she was going to ask Severus if he'd be interested in going out on a date, exploring what that _something _between them was.

Taking another step, she froze as she realized that Severus wasn't alone. _Mulciber _was with him, clearly talking although she couldn't hear him; apparently, they had put up a _Muffliato _spell or something. She considered dispelling it, but before she could Mulciber smiled, clapping a hand on Severus' back, and walked away. Severus had a troubled look on his face, as he turned and walked over to their usual spot.

Frowning, she walked over and sat beside Severus, who was staring at his cauldron moodily. She wondered what he and Mulciber had been talking about, after how Mulciber had laughed at the idea of the two of them being friends the night of the party. What could it mean? Curious, she asked, "Sev? What did Mulciber want to talk to you about?"

There was no response, Severus continuing to stare motionlessly at the empty pewter cauldron.

Taking another deep breath, this time to stave off her annoyance and dread (what if he just didn't want to talk to _her_), she poked him in the arm and said in a louder voice, "Hey, Severus!"

He whirled around, almost falling to the floor as his chair didn't follow him. Several of their classmates laughed, making both blush. After they calmed down, Severus muttered, his eyes fastened at something somewhere to the right of her ear, "Sorry, I didn't see you sit down."

"Don't worry about it. You have a lot on your mind, I guess." said Lily, forcing a smile in an effort to comfort him, putting her 'date plan' to the back of her mind for the moment. "Was Mulciber bothering you?"

Severus shook his head, lowering his gaze. "I don't know...he wanted to ask me something."

"What did he ask?" Lily frowned darkly. "I can't believe he'd even try, barely a day after saying he'd never been friends with you."

"I suppose he wasn't," said Severus thoughtfully. "My friend that is. He never was... Of course, I wasn't much of a friend to him either, really."

Lily blinked. "Huh?"

"Never mind...it's complicated." Severus sighed, turning back to his cauldron. "Do you know what we're working on today, anyway?"

"Not sure...and what did Mulciber want to ask of you?"

"I..." Severus glanced at her, a guilty look on his face. "You s-see..." Severus stammered. "It's like-"

"Alright class, let's get started." Slughorn pointed his wand at the blackboard, interrupting their conversation. "Today, we've got a particularly interesting potion to work on..."

For once ignoring the teacher, Lily whispered, "Tell me after class, no interruptions."

Severus nodded, turning his attention to his cauldron.

The potion assigned by the professor proved no trouble, as both of them had mastered it long ago during their private study sessions, the only question being who would provide the most sublime example of utter perfection. This however, gave Lily plenty of time to think, her thoughts returning to the subject that had bothered her so much earlier that day. The determination of that morning threatened to fade, like the morning mist before the rising sun. Mary had made it seem so simple when they talked, but now it seemed so much more complicated, because this was her best friend they were talking about.

She glanced over at him, studying his face until he noticed and, red-faced, turned away. She wondered what he was thinking; did he think about last night, feeling his heart race at the thought of what had happened...or was he feeling guilty that he might have led her on? Was he perhaps trying to think of a nice way to say that he had just been so utterly piss-drunk that he had just let things get out of hand? He hadn't seemed to oppose her the other times they had kissed, or that 'not-date' of theirs, but he hadn't ever said anything that might indicate that he wanted to _really _date her.

Stirring her cauldron with practiced ease, Lily imagined all the things he could say, all the ways he might react... This really could ruin their friendship, she knew. She had seen all sorts of friendships break up over the issue of romance, whether in competition over another person, or simply being unable to take a particularly painful break-up. The idea of that happening was horrifying; it would be heart-shattering if her friendship with Severus, so painstakingly repaired after what had happened last June, were to die over the matter of something as stupid as a date or the like.

For the first time in a long time, she honestly wondered if things might not have been better if the two of them had never been friends to begin with, as if that were the case...well, it would be so much simpler, wouldn't it? If he said no, so what? He would have been just some guy after all. No big deal, really.

"Hey, Lily?" Severus' tentative voice seemed to float in the air, unsure of where to land.

"Uh...what is it?" asked Lily nervously. Was this going to be about last night?

Severus took a deep breath, then let it out, his eyes closing as he whispered guiltily, "I just wanted to know...last night...did I hit you?"

Lily blinked, then blinked again at the strangeness of his question. "Huh?" she asked intelligently.

Severus opened his eyes again. "I was really drunk last night and I don't remember much of anything...except...well, drunken stuff..." Seeming to realize he was rambling, he grimaced. "Look, just be completely honest with me in this; did I hit you? I...I need to know."

Lily scrutinized his face carefully. He seemed earnest in his question, but did he really not remember anything? "No, Sev, you didn't hit me... Are you sure you don't remember anything?"

"I remember talking to Mulciber, Evelyn apologizing to me..." He paused, furrowing his brow. "You were apologizing to me about something...but then things." He blushed, finishing lamely, "I think I fell asleep."

"Hmm..." Lily blushed herself, knowing that the 'dream' he had probably had was very real indeed. "Well, that's most of it, anyway."

"Alright." With that, silence fell upon the two of them again, Lily momentarily wondering about his absurd question...but soon returning to the same problem she had been facing before, even as class ended (she vaguely heard Slughorn congratulating her over having the best potion today): was she really willing to risk their friendship over something that might prove to be nothing more than a single drunken mistake on his part? Maybe it was best if she just forgot about it, at least until she had a better idea of how he'd respond... He might reject her, laugh at her, scream that-

Lily paused, a thought striking her. Would Severus really do something like that if she asked him out on a date? Would he really scream or laugh at her, someone as loyal as he was?

She laughed at the thought, causing Severus to give her a strange look at her. "What's so funny, Lily?"

Chuckling, she grinned at him. "Oh nothing, just realized I was being absurd. Say Sev..." she spoke lightly, laughter easing her tongue, "...would you like to do something together sometime, just the two of us? I'd like to make it a date, if you're not opposed to it."

"I see..."There was an awkward moment of silence, a series of expressions passing across his face as quickly as ripples on the water while Lily waited for his reply.

Finally, he frowned, sounding apologetic as he said, "I...I don't think that would be a good idea. Sorry, Lily."

"Oh..." The silence stretched on again, this time due to the sense of gravity that seemed to be pulling her into the ground, swallowing her whole.

"I see..." Lily forced a smile, quickly turning away as she felt a burning heat in her eyes. "It's no big deal, was just curious is all." And really, it wasn't, right? It had been just one harmless little date between friends, and Severus hadn't even been rude, cruel or angry at all. He just hadn't been interested, that's all. It didn't hurt...

Really, it didn't.

"Okay..." Severus seemed as if there was something he wanted to say, but instead he simply stood there, watching her. "Should we be going to the great hall?" he asked lamely. "I heard that they're serving dinner now...because it's dinner."

"Nah, I just remembered," replied Lily in a breezy tone she didn't feel. "I forgot to get my homework done for um...tomorrow's Transfiguration. I'll see you later..."

"I..." Severus seemed about to say something, then faltered. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah," but rather than walk away, Lily paused, and before she could stop herself, she remarked, "Hey, Sev, you know that dream?"

Severus' face now bore a guarded expression. "Yes..."

"Well, it was no dream." Lily looked him right in the eye, almost angry as she said, "We snogged each other in front of everyone, and that's real, whether you like it or not!"

"We...snogged?"

"Yeah, we did. And it sure seemed that you liked it, too!"

"We snogged..." he repeated dazedly, looking as if she had told him Dumbledore was part-Veela. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. More composed now, he nodded, muttering, "I'm sorry, I still don't think that would be a good idea...even if...yeah."

"Alright then..." Her anger fading into embarrassment, she looked away, trying to think of something to salvage the situation. Luckily, they had been alone.

"Yeah..."

"I guess...I'll see you later, Sev." Quickly striding away before she humiliated herself further, Lily bit her lip, trying to ignore the tears trailing down her face...and the quiet pain filling her chest.

* * *

Later that day, Lily was heading down to eat dinner, deciding to brave the questioning eyes for the sake of getting something to eat, when a much-unwelcome shadow crossed her path.

Evelyn Matthews stood there, calmly looking back as she said politely, "Hey Evans, may I have a word with you?"

Lily's jaw tightened. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she managed to maintain a thin veneer of politeness as she replied, "After careful consideration, no. You may not have a word with me."

Evelyn nodded, but nonetheless continued, "It's about Severus. Would you please talk to him about something for me?"

"No, I'm not going to talk to him for you." Lily glared at Evelyn, her hands on her hips and hoping desperately that she didn't look quite as pathetic as she felt right then. Being told 'not interested' by someone you were asking out was no picnic. Thinking about Severus again certainly didn't help her mood either. "I'm not going to do _anything _to him for you, save making sure that you never _talk _to him again. Now, if you would like me to do that,I would gladly help you."

Evelyn ignored her. "Professor Slughorn told me that if Severus doesn't finish tutoring me for the semester, he'll only get half the pay for his work. That's money he needs with his mom dead and unable to provide for him, I believe." She looked away. "I'd tell Severus myself, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to me."

Unable to believe what she was hearing, Lily asked incredulously, "You want me to _threaten _Severus so he'll tutor you again? Are your grades _that _pathetic or do you just enjoy tormenting him?"

"It's not like that. It's just..." The Ravenclaw girl sighed, sounding tired. "Look, it's Severus' job, so-"

"Well, on behalf of Severus then, '_no_'!" shouted Lily, barely keeping herself from slapping the other girl. "I'm sure he'd rather lose half his pay for a cruddy tutoring job than deal with a backstabbing traitor."

Evelyn sneered at her. "It's not your place to decide that sort of thing for him, now is it? Just tell him what Slughorn said, alright?"

"_No_!" Lily clenched her hands into fists, retorting savagely, "Why don't you find another tutor instead? No-one's as good, sure, but there has to be _someone _who would help you if you gave them a ride or two, nothing you'd mind, I'm sure!"

Evelyn narrowed her eyes, but managed to say politely, "If Severus would just talk to me, then maybe we could work something out with Slughorn...maybe. And I don't want another tutor, thank you."

Lily growled, glaring back at her as she shot back, "Sure giving those 'fake smiles' wouldn't be such a big trouble for you? You said you suffered _soooo _much in talking to him; sure you wouldn't be _bothered _too much to deal with 'a disgusting freak'? After all, it's only a grade, and it's not like you'd be-"

"_Shut up_!" screeched Evelyn, screaming at the top of her lungs. Seeing everyone in the hallway staring at them, she took a deep breath, then looked away. After a few seconds, she spoke with gritted teeth, "Look, do you want me to apologize? Fine! I'm sorry I said that, any of it. I was lying and angry and humiliated, thanks to him, not that you'd possibly understand _that_."

Lily frowned, surprised at how...how much it seemed to matter to her, then she remembered...

_"You know, Severus, I've got a little theory..."_

Her voice hardened, icy cold as she replied. "You were humiliated? So what! I'm sure you get that all the time, given how _you _act. Leave Severus alone, _or else_."

Evelyn reached for her wand, voice burning hatefully. "Or else what, Evans? Going to hex me again? Look, just tell Severus I want to talk to him, alright? That's all I want."

_"...I'll bet that anyone would give their right arm to never talk to you again if they weren't getting something from you..."_

Her hand on her own wand, Lily took another deep breath to calm herself so she wouldn't hex the girl. Succeeding barely, she ground out, "I've had enough of dealing with two-faced little toerags this week to last a life-time. I'm not telling Sev to talk to any more of them, _especially _not you, after you said all that to him. Now, crawl back to your disgusting little hole and leave me and Severus alone!"

Evelyn spoke in the same, carefully controlled tones, watching Lily's wand. "I was lying, I don't really think that about him. Now would you let me talk to him?"

_"...not counting your mom, since she'd want to talk to you regardless... Oh, wait..."_

There was a brief pause, then Lily snorted with contempt.

"Ohhhh...so you were _lying_. I see! That makes it so much better!" replied Lily in a voice dripping with loathing sarcasm. "You told him that everyone he knew despised him, that he was some disgusting freak, that everyone wished that he didn't even exist, and it's alright because you're sorry and you didn't mean it?"

_"...your mom hated you so much, was so disgusted by the idea of seeing a little freak like you again that she killed herself last December, mere days before she'd be inflicted with your presence again..."_

Quick as lightning, Lily grabbed Evelyn's wand-arm and squeezed it as hard as she could, making the other girl yelp in pain, even as Lily continued furiously, her own wand jabbing the other girl's neck, "You told him his mother, _his dead mother_, offed herself because she couldn't stand the very _idea _of seeing him again, that she was so appalled by her horrible freak of a son that she'd rather be dead than spend one sodding minute with him! And now you're standing here, telling me that you're sorry and didn't mean it! I don't _care _if you didn't mean it! Take your sorry and _bloody shove it_! And never, _ever _talk to Severus again, you filthy, diseased little whore!"

Evelyn glared back, but said nothing.

_"...Frankly, I envy her. She doesn't have to suffer through you anymore..."_

Lily let her go, throwing her arm away from her as she turned around, only to see the other few students in the hall watching with stunned looks on their faces, save for Sirius Black. She blinked upon seeing the look on his face, surprised.

Sirius was actually glaring at her, disgusted.

She heard Evelyn's voice, coldly polite as she spoke, "Sorry Evans, but I consider your terms...unacceptable.""

Incensed, Lily whirled around with wand in hand and a hex on her lips, only to find that the girl had already vanished around the corridor. Frowning as she mentally swore to hex her next time she had a chance, Lily continued her walk, glad that at least she had managed to get thoughts of Severus rejecting her out of her mind...

...Darn it.

* * *

"Expecto Patronum."

Many times over the past several months had found Lily sharing the Potion's classroom with Severus, to the point that it was tacitly considered to be 'their place' by most of the school apart from during class hours.

"Expecto Patronum."

Sometimes there was laughter (mostly Lily's-Severus only giving a quick snicker or chuckle), often there was companionable silence (save for quiet murmurs and the sounds of smiles), rarely there were explosions (the path to a perfect potion runs oft not smooth), and for the past couple of months there had been spell-casting, lots and lots of spell-casting as the two of them tried to finish up the Patronus spell...

...until the past few days, at least. That was when things had changed. Lily had managed to finish her Patronus spell, successfully summoning an owl, and Severus had...

"Expecto Patronum." Even as he cast his spell, she noticed him watching her out of the corner of her eyes, his gaze calm and evaluating, like she was one of his Potions.

Shivering, Lily closed her eyes, trying to ignore the strange silence in the air.

The two of them sat together, one continuously casting the same spell, with the same poor results as before-after many attempts he had finally started managing to summon white mist, but no more than that. Given that exams were barely days away, it was not encouraging. Meanwhile, Lily kept her eyes firmly shut, wanting simultaneously to gain soothing comfort from his presence and pretend that he didn't exist.

"Expecto Patronum."

Not looking at him seemed to help, if barely. The problem was, even though she was hurting (and it was so _stupid _for her to be hurting; they had never been an item at all for Merlin's sake!) and being all _weird_, she somehow felt that it would be worse if she wasn't with him. Mary had been sympathetic, but Lily didn't want to talk to her about it, preferring to stay here with Severus. How ridiculous was that? That the very person who caused her to hurt like this was the only one she wanted beside her while she was suffering?

Opening her eyes, Lily swallowed as she stared into his for a brief moment before glancing away. Licking her lips lightly before speaking, her voice falsely-bright even to her own ears, she tried to make conversation, "So...anything interesting happening in Slytherin house of late?"

The halting of the monotone chant was the only reaction, before a tired voice escaped the shadow sitting before her, "What would you define as interesting, Lily?"

Forcing a smile, she shrugged her slender shoulders, "Well, per Sirius Black, there's Dark rituals, Death Eater meetings, and wild orgies around the clock in Slytherin." Her grin turned genuine for a moment. "Somehow I doubt things are _quite _like that, but it would be rather ironic..."

Severus paused, Lily easily able to imagine the nonplused look on his face as he replied, "I'm afraid I haven't the foggiest idea of what you are talking about. I suppose the most 'interesting' thing to happen of late would be the party the night before last."

Lily's eyes flew wide open in surprise. Whipping her head around, she couldn't keep a small quaver from her voice as she asked, "Really? How was it?"

Severus' face still bore that odd, contemplative look as he looked back at her, replying quietly, "I wasn't invited." The unspoken words 'not that it was a surprise' lingered in the air, although the cunning young Slytherin didn't say anything more.

"Oh...I see." With that, the dread awkwardness reclaimed possession of the room once more, Severus' face still unchanged from the cold, calculating mask it had become of late.

Lily looked away again, neither liking nor understanding that look. She hoped it would vanish soon, that the awkwardness brought on by her asking out Severus would disappear and leave their friendship unharmed.

Sighing, she returned to the letter she had been writing:

_Mom,_

_Sorry it's been so long since I sent a letter; I guess I've been rather distracted of late. I've been helping Severus deal with a fiasco, exams and other things...and I kinda forgot. I've missed you though, very much. I hope that you're doing well._

_I'm passing all of my classes, partially thanks to some help from a friend. Speaking of which..._

_...I've been asked to go on a tour of Europe this summer by James Potter, the boy who came with me and Severus' to dad's funeral. It would be with him and his friend, Sirius Black. Both of them are in my house at Hogwarts. Would that be alright, even though I'd be going alone with two teenage boys? They'd be paying for it all, but I don't know how many weeks or months it would be, so if you say 'no', it's perfectly all right._

_If I can't go, then we'll be able to see each other all Summer. It's been so long...especially since we didn't have much time to talk at the funeral._

_Lots of Love,_

_Lily_

Lily frowned down at her letter, biting her lip as a thought struck her. Her mother would never say yes to her request when she phrased it like that, she knew. Between the mentioning of two boys and the lack of a time frame, there was no way she'd get permission. The strange thing was that she found that she didn't particularly care if she got said permission...odd.

She glanced over at Severus, wondering what he would be doing over the Summer...before remembering with a start what Evelyn had said about his tutoring position. She barely suppressed a grimace at the thought. She had told Severus what Evelyn had said, both out of fury at the tart and wanting Severus to know about the threat she had posed. Lily had hoped that he would be angry, furious, so enraged that he'd lose control in a wave of passion and slam his lips against-

"Expecto Patronum."

Shaking her head frantically, she blushed deeply as she broke off that particular train of thought.

Besides, the reality had been quite different; rather from becoming angry, Severus had gotten this hurt look on his face as he turned away...seeming sad, almost regretful... It was at times like those that Lily particularly hated that...that cruel monster which took the shape of a normal girl, that disgusting piece of already-chewed gum she so longed to remove from Severus' memory.

She paused, a red flush burning her cheeks, before swallowing her rage. Working herself into a frenzy of hate wasn't going to help anyone, not right now. In an effort to distract herself, the angry Gryffindor glanced at Severus' book-bag, which laid wide-open. _There, the usual supply of advanced textbooks, although no library books this time-shame he has no desire to use that great brain of his for anything other than high notes and Dark magic-a few quills, a vaguely-familiar piece of parchment with 'Perseus' written on it, a ink bottl-wait!_

_Is that my letter? Maybe a little better glance would help..._ Looking out of Severus out of the corner of her eyes to make certain he was engrossed in his wand-work and not staring at her again, Lily carefully slipped her wand out of her pocket and pointed it at the bag, whispering, "_Accio_." It was as weak as she could possibly make it, just enough to make more of it visible.

_Dear Perseus,_

_Hey, how have you been doing of late? Has your owl died or something? Because I'm starting to wonder why you haven't responded for so long. It's nearly the end of May! Just in case, I told my owl to wait until you gave it your say-so to leave, so you can send it back using my own._

_Have you been thinking any more about that-_

The letter ended there. It was mostly crumpled, but still clearly her most recent message to Perseus. Littered with furious scribbles and torn in places, the rest of it was clearly illegible.

Apparently, he didn't want to speak to Medusa either.

The thought caused her to fight tears before furiously looking away. Knocking her chair to the ground, she stood up, unable to sit there in front of him.

"Lily? What's wrong?" Severus sounded worried, concerned about her.

Somehow, this only made her angry. "Oh, why do you care anyway?" she spat, her natural temper bursting at him.

He looked at her then, his eyes neither calculating nor contemplating. Slowly, he said, "I care because you're my best friend, Lily."

_...or cherish you for all the times you've been there to help me, when you've been at my side with your faith in me burning a bright hole in your sleeves, trusting me to be so much more than I am..." _

Lily blushed, her anger slipping away. Wistful, she smiled at him. "Yeah, you've been a very good friend, Sev. I just wish..." She broke off, looking away.

There was a moment of silence, then Severus said quietly, "Actually, I need to get going. There's something I've been meaning to write, if that's alright."

Lily glanced at him, curious. "Oh?"

"Yeah." Severus looked down, starting to pack his bag, not seeming to notice the letter peeking out of it. "I'll see you tomorrow, I think.

"Alright, can't wait."

And for some reason, in spite of the hurt she still felt, it was the truth.

**Author's Note: **So, after 22 chapters of waiting, Lily decides that she's interested in Severus and asks him out...and he says no. Trust me, it came as a surprise to me as well, but hopefully he'll change his mind soon, as the Status Quo is NOT God in this fanfic, even if he has good reasons.


	23. Unhidden Secrets

**Letters From The Dark**

**Chapter 23**

**Unhidden Secrets**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

"So, I'm thinking of asking Remus if he'll want to do anything over the summer." Sitting on her bed, Sabrina had a bright grin on her face, not noticing Lily's bored expression as she prattled on about her summer plans. "Milan or Paris would be nice and normal, but I'm actually thinking about heading out to Japan for once. I haven't been there yet, you know, and it should be a lot happier down there without any of those Death Eater problems."

"Mmm," replied Lily, eyes fixed on Sabrina but quite unseeing. Trying to change the topic to something other than Remus (who seemed to have replaced James on her list of 'men I shall utter inanely about') or things she couldn't even imagine affording, she said, "Death Eater problems? I haven't heard about those in a while..."

"Yeah, dad says that this Summer's supposed to be a real big thing with them or something, calling for a temporary ban on Muggleborns attending Hogwarts to deal with the 'problem'. There've also been a couple disappearances, mostly high-profile Muggleborns." Sabrina rolled her eyes, shrugging. "Anyway, dad also said that he'd rather if I stayed nice and far away, and what could be farther away than Japan? Do you think Remus would like to see me in a kimono, you know, one of those Japanese dresses?" She paused, smirking down at her chest, before returning her attention to Lily, speaking in a confiding tone, "He likes when I wear my blue lace bra and knickers, says it brings out my eyes. Isn't he sweet?"

"Uh...maybe?" Lily winced, trying to not think about why he would be seeing said undergarments. The two of them seemed to be going way too fast, considering that Sabrina had yet to actually call him her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, Lily asked, "Are things going well with him?"

"Oh, yesss..." Sabrina almost purred, closing her eyes happily. "It's so fascinating talking to him, you know. He's smart, real smart, although not about Potions, and he has this sexy, serious demeanor. Plus, he knows all sorts of things that you wouldn't expect, like how to cook and clean, and gives the most amazing massages ever."

"So, I guess the two of you are together, then?"

Sabrina frowned, looking out the window. "I guess you could say that."

"You guess?"

"It's...complicated." Sabrina sighed, then chuckled. "So, how about you?"

Lily blinked. "Me?"

Sabrina turned around with a smirk. "Yeah, do you have anyone you're interested in? Come on, tell me!"

Lily's eyebrows rose. "Um, I think I told you earlier this week, thank you. Severus, remember?"

Sabrina waved it away, rolling her eyes. "I mean real boyfriend material, not Snape. I mean, sure you were confused after that little snog session of yours, but you were drunk. Besides, he said 'no' anyway."

Lily ground her teeth, wondering why Mary had told the other girl about this. "Just because he said 'no', doesn't mean I'm interested in someone else. I'm not Evelyn, thank you. And what's wrong with Sev anyway, as a boyfriend I mean? He's honest, caring and loyal."

"You've just described a dog," replied Sabrina flatly. "Besides, he's ugly, way too skinny, couldn't tell a joke if his life depended on it, and never smiles. Beyond that, he's friends with sluts and Death Eaters. Beyond that, he's poor, with a mum who killed herself, possibly because she hated him. How can you honestly say that that makes an appealing boyfriend?"

There was a moment of silence, during which Lily found herself strongly desiring to hex the girl into the hospital wing for that crack about Severus' mother. It was only because they had been friends for so long that she stayed her friend, instead saying coldly, "Well, I happen to find him very handsome, he is funny sometimes, and you wouldn't know that because you never talk to him, do you? And as for the rest of it..."

Lily took a deep breath as she prepared to start shouting, when Sabrina interrupted, her voice soft, "And does any of that matter, Lily? He said that he wasn't interested, so what does it matter what he's like? He. Isn't. Going. To. Date. You. You're better off hating him, it sure beats pining over him." A flash of pain crossed the blonde's eyes, and Lily remembered the other girl's unreciprocated feelings for James.

Lily opened her mouth, but couldn't come up with a strong retort, not in the face of the pitying look in her friend's eyes. Turning away, she muttered, "Well, maybe I'll just be stupid then."

* * *

The next day wasn't much better; although at least no-one else seemed to have found out about her being rejected-apparently, it was just Sabrina that had been told, although she didn't expect it to hold true for long given how much the girl loved to gossip. Regardless, she felt as if she were walking on pins and needles all day long.

She wasn't the only one acting odd though-Severus seemed to be acting odd too, although given how closed-in he was, Lily couldn't be entirely sure. It only contributed to her feelings of discomfort though, so she was quite glad when Remus pulled her aside to speak with her before Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Hey, Lily..." He seemed to stumble over his own thoughts. "Uh...can we talk about this in private?" He didn't look at Severus, but Lily noticed the annoyed look in the boy's expression.

"Two prefects being late to class would be a very bad idea," stated Severus, his voice quite frosty.

Lily knew he was right, but right then...she couldn't find herself caring all that much. She just felt too awkward dealing with him right now, so she shrugged. "Shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes, Sev. I'm sure Remus knows perfectly well how much time we have."

"I'll save you a seat, I guess," muttered Severus, merely giving Remus another cold look before striding into the class.

Allowing Remus to lead her out of earshot of the rest of the students, Lily then asked, "Well?"

"Uh..." Remus gave her an odd look, then continued, "...what's going on between you and Severus, Lily?"

"What?"

Remus gave her another look, this one rather reproving. Taking a deep breath, he spoke in a voice that suggested that he wanted to appear calm rather than actually being calm,"I don't know what you thought when you said to James that you might want to go across Europe with him...but if you didn't realize it was an attempt to court you, you are really quite naive. How do you think he felt to see you making out with another guy that very same evening?"

"Just great..." Lily shook her head, already regretting allowing her fellow Gryffindor to talk to her. Crossing her arms, she gave him an annoyed, impatient glare. "Well, if you must know, I was drunk out of my mind by about that point. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

Remus blinked, then smirked, seeming amused. "You made out with Severus...while you were drunk?"

Lily barely suppressed a growl. "Yes I did, thank you very much."

"I see..." Remus' lips twitched. "Alright then, never mind about that."

Lily gave a non-committal shake of the head, really not wanting to discuss this topic with anyone else. "You won't tell anyone about this, alright, Remus? I'd really not like to have half the school bothering me about it."

Remus frowned, but shrugged nonetheless as he replied, "Alright, sounds fine. We should be getting back to class anyway, I think."

Lily smirked, a thought striking her. Deciding to turn the tables on her fellow Gryffindor, she changed the subject. "Alright...but I wanted to ask you how things are going with Sabrina. She seems quite taken with you, after all."

Remus' face went scarlet, but Lily could see a note of pleasure in his eyes even as he said vaguely, "She does, does she?"

"Hmm..." Lily paused momentarily. "Yeah, she is. Very much so."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. I've been meaning to..."

Continuing to chatter, they walked back, nearly tripping over Mary as they walked into the room, arriving several minutes late. She winced as she noticed the other girl's limping afterward, and was about to apologize when Severus muttered something, causing a jet of white light to zap. Turning, Mary quirked a smile in Severus' direction, who merely shrugged noncommittally.

Lily was soon lost in thought at this new turn of events. Even Evelyn's continual glancing at him couldn't ruin the smile on her face...

...although it did mean she would have to do something about it. This was getting quite out of hand.

* * *

Later that same day, Lily found herself in the dungeon by the Potions classroom, for once neither for Severus nor for class. She had finally decided that enough was enough with Evelyn, as clearly her harassment of Severus was getting out of hand. As such, she planned to handle this maturely-by having one of the teachers put a stop to it, and who better than Professor Horace Slughorn, the man who had assigned her in the first place?

However, when she arrived, she wasn't the only person there... Madam Pomfrey was there talking to the portly old man. Waiting for the two of them to finish, Lily soon found herself listening more intently, the topic of the conversation proving rather alarming.

"...Horace, I'm very concerned about him. There have been several occasions where he had broken bones, one time even having to crawl to the Hospital Wing. However, with his denial..."

In contrast to his normal, easygoing demeanor, Slughorn seemed quite concerned. "Hmm, he is a rather proud fellow...is there any way to prove it without his help? I mean, multiple trips to the hospital wing these past few weeks...surely there's something?"

Lily gasped, one hand covering her month.

"I'm afraid...wait, what's that?" Pomfrey seemed to have overheard her, throwing the door open to reveal Lily wincing, embarrassed and concerned simultaneously. "Miss Evans," barked the mediwitch, scandalized. "This was a private conversation between staff members about a student. You're a prefect; you should be showing a good example to the students, not eavesdropping!"

"I'm sorry! I just...I didn't hear much..." Lily babbled, ashamed. "I just wanted to talk to Professor Slughorn about a...a problem with another student. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, really!"

"A problem, Miss Evans?" Professor Slughorn raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his voice as he asked, "Is there someone bothering you?"

"Well, not me, exactly. It's Severus... Evelyn's trying to blackmail him in regards to her tutoring, and after she humiliated him earlier this term! She said that he had to do it or he wouldn't get paid much for his work, and he can't really afford it, what with his family situation-"

"Miss Evans," interrupted Slughorn, a somewhat strange look on his face as he eyed her. "I already spoke to Severus on this matter, and worry not, he doesn't need to finish tutoring her for the semester."

"Good, but..." Lily bit her lip, flustered as she tried to figure out how to say what she wanted. "Is there any way to...make it so she won't bother him anymore? Because she's harassing him all the time, and he's miserable. Could you get her to leave him alone, Professor? I just wish she'd stop it!"

"What sort of harassment, Miss Evans?" asked Madam Pomfrey, a frown on her face.

"Well...she's watching him all the time, and whenever she talks to him, he just looks so hurt afterward..." Lily bit her lip, trying to think of something else. Just the thought of that dratted woman made her so angry. "She doesn't care that he wants her to leave him alone, she just wants him to be her blasted tutor!"

"I see," sighed Slughorn, looking rather tired. "Miss Evans, I'm afraid that even if I could do something about it, my hands are bound unless Severus asks me himself or it can be proven a...what was the term? Oh, yes, a 'clear and present danger'. From what you're telling me, it sounds like they had a little tiff and they just need some time to sort it out."

Lily's anger got the better of her. "A little tiff? A little tiff? She said that it was his fault his mother died! He's a laughingstock thanks to her, and you say it's a tiff! She should be...I don't know, suspended. If not that, at least have the moral decency to make her leave him alone!"

"Miss Evans!" barked Madam Pomfrey, glaring at the green-eyed girl. "From what we've heard, both from you and others, it sounds as if it was no more or less than a particularly-bad fight between two good friends. It's hardly something worthy of a suspension!"

"But-"

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a situation here that is a real problem, involving your fellow classmates. I'm afraid we don't have time to get bogged down in a squabble!" With that, she stormed inside Horace's office, slamming the door behind her.

Lily turned to Slughorn, who had a rather disappointed look on his face. "Professor, I-"

He interrupted her, forcing a sad smile as he spoke, "Miss Evans, I understand the desire to help your friend, but I would have thought that you had gained the ability to distinguish between someone acting out of malice and someone hurt and lashing out, especially given the situations between this situation and the one you had with your friend Severus last year."

Lily crossed her arms, gritting her teeth in frustration. "That was completely different."

Slughorn sighed. "I'm afraid I disagree." And with that, he opened the door to his office once more and vanished inside.

Having little choice in the matter, Lily turned...only to see a most surprising sight: an owl flying over to her, holding a letter as it landed gracefully before her. Apparently, Perseus had finally decided to reply...

* * *

_Dear Medusa,_

_I apologize for taking so long with my response, but I've been rather...distracted of late, due to circumstances I hadn't foreseen._

_As for my mother's suicide, I appreciate your support, but no matter what you or I think of the matter, the facts are the facts. She was my responsibility, and I wasn't enough to keep her from wanting to kill herself. Thus, as much as you may want to assuage my feelings, I am at fault in the matter. My father may share the blame for how he treated her, but I failed as well, and that is something I will have to live with._

_Besides...I have other problems to deal put it simply, I had been trying to become a Death Eater for a good couple of years now. Yes, I know they hate Muggleborns, but I'm not interested in them for that, so much as I'm interested in the respect and opportunities available from becoming one._

_Recently, though, they came to the conclusion that I was an embarrassment to the cause and abandoned me. However, one of them told me that they would be willing to reconsider, and have me rejoin them was only one condition: I would have to abandon my Muggleborn best friend, as a show of faith._

_My friend's been loyal to me even while the rest of the school hates me, and even now that my other friend betrayed me, I can tell that she hasn't even considered giving up on me, not anymore. I can see it in her eyes... More than that, I've had this...crush on her for years now, I suppose, and there are times...well, you get the idea_

_In any story you've read, the answer would be obvious: you choose the girl and the friend over your ambition and end up happy in the end. I did so, and yet...I'm not sure I made the right choice after all. I feel like...maybe I was wrong._

_You see, I spent so much time trying to get them to accept me into their group, calling all Muggleborns Mudbloods, becoming a veritable parrot of Death Eater thought, because they were the only ones who would accept me, give me a future...and now all of it has proven a great waste. Years of my life are now gone and now what do I have? A girl who I'm crushing on, that's all._

_I have nothing else, my father left almost as soon as my mother passed away, and my mother's dead. My other friend has deserted me, and everyone at school now knows that I'm responsible for my mum's death. It's like I had one final chance, and I blew it._

_I don't know what to do; can you help me?_

_Your friend,_

_Perseus_

* * *

The next day, Lily watched Severus, her head propped on the palm of her right hand. He was sitting alone, off to the side of the Slytherin table, when her owl flew down and dropped its letter on his lap. She bit her lip as he started to read.

_Dear Perseus,_

_I'm sorry about what happened with your Death Eater 'friends', but it really was for the best in my opinion. Those stories...they aren't stories because they were wrong. It may hurt right now, it may make you feel like you are a right chump, but I'm SURE that in the end you will be much happier that you made this choice than if you made the alternative._

_Why is that? Because although there are thousands of stories where someone chooses a friend over...stuff, I can't think of that many where they chose the opposite and decided, years in the future, that they were GLAD they made their choice._

_Perseus, in the end, if that person is really your friend and is important to you as you say she is, then I can't even imagine that you will regret making the decision you made._

_Just take a deep breath, think of all the reasons you value this person's friendship, and ask yourself if you'd rather have the opportunities and prestige, or her by your side. It's as simple as that. Those years that you spent ignoring your conscience, pretending to be something you're not, they'll be lost to you whatever you choose, so why not make the decision that makes you happy?_

_As for the part about your mother..._

_I'm afraid that I simply can't agree with your opinion of her death. It was your mother's decision, not yours, and whatever you did or didn't do it is she who chose to die. You didn't choose for her._

_More than that though, you focus so much about your 'responsibility'. Well, it's not your responsibility to take care of her, it's HER responsibility to take care of herself and YOU!_

_I'm sorry she died and I know you must feel awful, but it wasn't, and it never will be you who was responsible for her choices._

_You need to realize that if you ever want to be happy._

_Your friend,_

_Medusa_

As Severus laid down the letter, ignoring the plate of food in front of him, Lily wondered what was going on in his head. Would he forgive himself for what his mother did? Would he understand that far from making an error, he had made the best decision of his life by avoiding the Death Eaters?

She hoped so, and had some questions of her own too. There were parts of his letter that she didn't understand, the meaning uncertain. He had originally chosen to give up on the Death Eaters of his own free will...hadn't he? So why had he been so conflicted about it when they told him he had to give her up to be with them? And what opportunities could he be talking about? What were they offering him that had meant so much to him?

Lily shook her head. Now wasn't the time to go asking him about that.

Soon, she knew she would have to talk to him about the other things he had said in that letter, but for now she would just wait-

Severus gave her a quizzical look, and she immediately turned away, face flushing in embarrassment at having been caught.

_'A girl who I'm crushing on...'_

Lily barely stopped herself from emitting a nervous giggle. There was a lot she would have to ask him about, but few things she was looking so much forward to discussing.

**Author's Note: **In regards to this fic, I've got a lot of little threads going now within the story; it's going to be difficult feeling out how to balance them all (and remembering them all!). I did at least two full rewrites of this chapter, so I hope it's all going to pan out. Some important things were revealed in this chapter, as well as some things that were importantly not revealed. Hope you enjoy!

Also, I'm sorry for the _extremely _late update; I've been working hard on my school-work (Finally, FINALLY finished with all that!) and, more importantly, my book! I'm working on chapters 6 and 7 at the moment, although I find myself constantly rewriting what I've written beforehand. I can share a few tidbits though, and perhaps more for those interested.

It's a fantasy novel, telling the tale of a world ruled by destiny and fate, where the land groans under the weight of a tyranic usurper. The princess is in hiding, searching desperately for a way to save her people as is her destiny, whatever the cost. Meanwhile, two people struggle to find her, a young noble promised to be her consort, and a warrioress determined to use the princess to get her revenge upon the world that has tormented her.

If interested, please let me know in a review or send me a message sometime.


	24. The Other Side

**Letters From The Dark**  
**Chapter 24**  
**The Other Side**  
**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

**Author's Note: **_In case it isn't obvious, this entire chapter is from Severus' point of view. I hope that it clears up some of the mysteries of the previous chapters, without spoiling too much._

There were several things that Severus secretly enjoyed, although he would never admit it. One of those was Lily being concerned on his behalf.

"The exam is tomorrow, Severus. Do you really think you are ready?"

Of course, that didn't mean that he didn't find it annoying sometimes, like right now.

"Don't worry, Lily, I'm fine!" muttered Severus impatiently as the two of them walked the halls and corridors of the ancient castle.

"Alright, Sev, have you made any progress on your Patronus, any at all?" replied Lily heatedly, her obvious worry having grown as the hours dwindled. "It's almost like you don't even care, anymore."

Severus gave her a disdainful look. Didn't she realize how hard he was working on this? "You're quite exaggerating, Lily. I'm having some minor difficulty trying to draw the necessary happiness from the memories in question. It'll just take a little more effort, then I'll be ready for the exam."

Lily huffed with annoyance. "'Minor difficulty', Severus? You have yet to even come close to a solid, corporeal Patronus. All you've gotten is white mist, every single time."

"And what would you suggest, Lily?" retorted Severus, glaring at her. "I've tried all of your ideas at least once, so don't make me look like I'm being stubborn!"

"Well, maybe you could use some outside assistance." Lily was unable to suppress a smirk. "We've tried everything we can think of, but maybe some fresh ideas will help."

"And who are you thinking of?" asked Severus suspiciously, his dark eyes narrowed. Merlin help him, if she said Potter...

"Mary MacDonald," retorted Lily, giving him a look that said 'don't even try to disagree'. "She's almost as good as you at DADA, and has had far more success with the spell."

"That will be perfectly acceptable. I don't mind her being there," replied Severus with a nod. MacDonald was quite possibly the only friend Lily had that didn't aggravate him. In fact, she was even somewhat likable. Their past interactions had always been colored by his friendship with Mulciber, and now that Mulciber had 'dumped' him and he could no longer be a Death Eater... "Shall I assume that she will be in the Potions classroom when we get there?"

"Yeah, she'll be there," muttered Lily in a distracted tone of voice. She seemed to be glancing between his face and the floor.

Severus wondered what was bothering her. Was she angry at him perhaps? He couldn't think of anything that would be bothering her in particular, but maybe he had done something.

Lily then spoke up, rather timidly, "Sev, I..." She then swallowed. "I..."

Severus felt his heartbeat quicken, until it was thundering in his chest. Was Lily...asking him out again? Last time, he had been trying to decide about Mulciber's offer, but now...he hoped she was.

Or was she angry at him about something? Could she be trying to break the news to him that she was going out with someone? That she hadn't meant to ask him out that time? Or maybe she was going out with James Potter now.

"Sev...are you doing alright?"

He shivered at the thought of James snogging her. He hoped not.

"Sev?"

Realizing he had gotten distracted by his foolish dreaming, Severus cursed himself mentally, borrowing several expressions from his father's rather colorful vocabulary. Stalling for time, he said, "Am I alright?"

Lily turned toward him, watching him closely, before saying, "I mean, between your mom, what happened with...her, the problems in DADA, and the money issues you've been having, are you doing alright?"

Severus looked at her with suspicion, but in the end replied coolly, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you sure?" pressed Lily, her emerald eyes seeming like the lasers described in Muggle comic books. "I've heard some things, you see."

Cautiously, Severus raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what she meant. "What sort of things?"

"Well, I was talking to Professor Slughorn, you see," said Lily, in a falsely-casual tone of voice, indicating that the Gryffindor was trying to be 'sneaky'. In other words, she was pretty much an open book. "Evelyn's been bothering you a lot, hasn't she?"

Severus gritted his teeth, trying to control a surge of sad rage. He did not like thinking about the girl, far too...confusing. "Not really. Why do you ask?"

Lily shrugged with feigned nonchalance. "Well, he told me that if you asked him, he could get her to leave you alone completely. Take you a few minutes of your time and all. Be rid of her forever."

"Not necessary; I can handle her myself," replied the Slytherin coolly, trying not to think about either her hateful words or her sad eyes. "Is that what you really wanted to talk about?"

"No, not really." Lily flushed, biting her lip. "Sev...are there any girls you fancy?"

Severus felt his face heating up, and opened his mouth. "Yes, there is...her name's Lily Evans" That was all he needed to do, say it suavely and calmly...or would it be better to say "You" ? He had to be careful; Lily could get very emotional about the strangest things.

"Or...is it perhaps a guy?"

Severus blinked at her, his mouth hanging in place as his brain shorted out. Lily thought he might be...gay? No, this could not happen. "Lily, the person I fancy is...Potter!"

"WHAT!" shrieked Lily at the top of her lungs, her eyes bulging comically. "Oh Merlin, please no. Ew!"

"So, I'm guessing that this is a bad time?" said the boy in question, James Potter, having surprised Severus when he walked up behind Lily. "Or did Snape go and use an Unforgivable or something?"

Lily whipped her head around, staring at Potter a moment, then turned back to Severus. Letting out a sigh of relief, she muttered, "Dear Merlin, I'm glad to hear..." She broke off, blushing, before turning away, still red in the face. "James, seriously, quit it about Severus."

"Fine, sorry Lily," replied the great oaf in question, clearly only sorry it was making his 'beloved Evans' unhappy.

Severus barely noticed. Lily had given him an excellent opportunity to set her straight about his...crush on her. He didn't want her thinking that he liked guys, or some other girl. This wasn't last time, when he'd been going through a stupid debate about something that he should have cleared up to himself back in bloody January. He needed to tell her...sometime soon.

"...James, you don't need to be worried. I'll be fine in Transfiguration. Between our sessions and studying on my own, I shouldn't have any trouble on our exam. Instead of you tutoring me, why not go and see if Peter could use some help?" Lily was speaking consolingly to Potter, obviously still oblivious that he was trying to use it as an excuse to spend time with her, the prat.

Potter let out a sigh, before grinning. "Ah well, we'll have plenty of time to hang out together after exams are over, what with the Europe thing."

Severus frowned. "Europe thing?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" replied Potter with a superior smirk. "Lily and I are going to be traveling all over Europe this Summer."

Severus' frown deepened, and he found himself mightily wishing he could just hex the little wanker. However, he had promised Lily that he wouldn't. Besides, surely Potter was just being thick again...right?

"Um, James?" said Lily with a touch of confusion. "I asked my mum about that, and there's no way on earth she's going to let me go. I'm sorry, but-"

"Actually..." He whispered something into Lily's ear, making her eyes pop.

"She...I...you..." Lily had started to babble.

"Uh, Lily?" asked Severus. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," replied Lily, in a mild daze. She took a deep breath, before saying in a much calmer voice, "I...I just need to talk to James for a bit. Would you mind going ahead? Mary should be waiting."

"Are you sure, Lily? I wouldn't want..."

Lily looked at him with no small amount of desperation. "Sev, trust me on this. Go. Now."

Realizing that he had missed the boat again, thanks to Potter, Severus nodded, before trudging wearily down to the dungeons, his self-loathing mocking him for his cowardice even as the smallest sense of relief washed over him.

He was always a failure at whatever he did, wasn't he? Whether it was being a Death Eater, saving his mum, or his romantic aspirations with Lily.

* * *

"Expecto Patronum."

Even as he practiced the Patronus charm, Severus watched MacDonald reading her textbook out of the corner of his eye, trying to figure out what she was up to.

Glancing at him, she smirked slyly before returning her gaze to the book in her hands, an 'I know something you don't know' look on her face.

Severus' eyes darkened. Lily clearly was hoping that she could help him somehow, but what the girl got out of it was rather a mystery. Perhaps she wanted to trick him, make use of him in some cruel manner, and that was why Lily wasn't-

Severus sighed deeply, shoving his concerns about Lily's absence from their study session to the back of his mind, preferring to concentrate on his made-up fears rather than his real ones.

He knew perfectly well Mary didn't have some sinister plan, but better think about that than what Potter might be up to with Lily in his clutches. It was obvious that Potter was up to something, and it was only the fact that he had no real evidence of wrongdoing that kept him from saying anything. Lily was stubborn about Potter, and Severus did not want to speculate why, so he preferred to wait until he had something rather than sounding like some jealous suitor-

Severus shook his head, grinding his teeth. He was not a suitor, he reminded himself. He just had a bit of a crush on his best friend, that was all, and with his luck, she'd be telling him about her mad passion for Potter when she got back from bloody Europe.

Besides, if his crush hadn't gone away since almost before he could remember...well, that just meant he was due, right? The heat in his eyes was really just annoyance, after all, she had promised to help him and he was angry about that. Swallowing, he shoved his worries back into the darkest corners of his mind, pretending they didn't exist.

"So, Snape, why are you acting so...woebegone? Missing Lily that much?" asked Mary in a falsely-casual voice. "Wow, you must be really good friends, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we are, MacDonald. Why?" replied the Slytherin boy with a stoic mien, forcing himself to appear unperturbed. He and Mary had helped each other in the past, but that hardly meant that they were friends.

"The two of you sure seem close," replied the messy-haired brunette, her smirk widening. "It's pretty obvious to anyone with a working set of eyes."

Severus frowned, but said nothing. Mary was definitely insinuating something, but he didn't dare call her out on it. Instead, he tried another Patronus, calling upon the same memory as he had before, trying to wrestle every bit of happiness he could from it.

The image of a hot summer's day crept into his mind: Lily in Muggle clothing, relaxing in the sun, her t-shirt hanging low, failing to obscure two small mounds of creamy flesh. Biting his lip, trying to keep the disgusting feeling in the pit of his stomach at bay by reminding himself Lily had given him permission, he bellowed out, "Expecto Patronum!"

Once again, the result was nothing more than a useless lump of white mist. He sighed, all too easily imagining the grade he would get with such a pathetic charm.

"Are you sure that's your happiest memory?" asked Mary quizzically, balancing her chin on her index finger as she watched.

"I'm quite sure," replied Severus, frowning at the brunette Gryffindor. "Why?"

"Well...it certainly doesn't seem as if you're very happy." Mary squinted at him, reminding him vaguely of a cat staring at a mouse. It wasn't a pleasant thought. "In fact, I'd say you look more guilty than happy. It's like you're ashamed of whatever you're thinking."

Severus felt his eyes widening, but managed to keep any other signs of the surprise he was feeling from showing on his face. "I suppose that would be a bad thing, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, very much so. If you were feeling guilty about the thought, it's unlikely that it would make you very happy," said Mary, nodding vigorously. She then raised an eyebrow, a fiendish grin on her face. "Of course, that does raise the question of what could possibly be making you feeling so guilty about what should be a happy thought. Did you do anything...unseemly?"

Severus felt his face heating up, but managed to keep his voice from cracking as he replied, ignoring her question, "Perhaps you're right. Maybe it would be better if I changed which thought I'm using then."

Severus cast about his memories for one that would give him the necessary level of happiness. Perhaps the first time he got Potter with a really good hex? Or maybe when Lucius told him that he'd make a fine Death Eater once he left Hogwarts...although that would bring him to thoughts of how he'd never become one now. What was a good, really happy memory?

"Severus, that was bloody brilliant, best night out I've ever had!"

Severus felt himself grinning, then reminded himself that the last time he tried using a thought of Lily, it had resulted in weeks without progress. He considered the time that his mother told him how he was going to go to Hogwarts, no matter what his dad said, but-

Mary interrupted him, saying, "Hey, what were you thinking of right then? When you were grinning like a brainless git, I mean."

Severus frowned. "I don't think it would be a good idea to use it; last time I thought of Lily, it just made me feel guilty."

"Still, it's worth a shot, I think." Mary chuckled, seeming rather amused.

Severus gave her a wary eye, but fixed the thought of that evening they had spent in Slughorn's office, dancing. Opening his mouth-

"Out of curiosity, how long have you fancied Lily?"

Severus bit his own tongue, and, in the process of whirling to face the girl, went crashing to the floor.

"Whoops."

* * *

"Alright, you've shown you can do the charm. It's just a matter of not getting nervous tomorrow and you'll be fine," said Mary as she packed up her things-mostly DADA books, more than Severus had ever seen a Gryffindor carry.

Severus nodded slowly, watching the girl with a hint of trepidation as he replied, "You've been very helpful, MacDonald. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Snape." However, the girl made no move to leave, instead looking right back at the Slytherin boy.

Knowing that the answer could not possibly be a good one, Severus nevertheless asked, "Is there a reason you're staring at me."

Mary smirked, a bad sign already in Severus' opinion, then said, "So, you and Lily-"

The classroom door opened, causing Mary to stop herself mid-sentence as Evelyn entered the room, her eyes hidden by her hair, the once sleek-straightness replaced by what could only be described as a rat's nest.

Turning to face Mary, Evelyn said coolly, "Mind giving us a few minutes? He and I need to talk. Please?" The calmness in her voice was undone by the tremulous uttering of the final word.

"Alright, I guess we can discuss this later, Snape. I'll leave the two of you alone." Without a further word, Mary hoisted her bookbag and walked out.

In Mary's absence silence filled the room, Evelyn staring at Severus from behind her wall of hair. He wondered what Evelyn was thinking, then scowled darkly. He didn't care what she was thinking, not after what she'd done.

Glaring at his former friend, he snipped, "So, what is it this time, Matthews? Did you get dumped again? Did you need some chump's shoulder to cry on? Or are you trying to mess me up...again!"

She looked up at him, her face no longer obscured.

His glare faltered as he saw her face, a single tear tracing its way down her cheek, more filling her eyes. He didn't apologize though-he had trusted her with the story of his mother's death, and she had betrayed him. She didn't deserve an apology.

All the same, he felt a lump in his throat as he looked at her.

"Severus," said Evelyn quietly, biting her lip. "I'm going to try this one last time. I'm sorry about what I said that day, really I am. I was just angry and-" She faltered, her voice cracking.

Severus felt a new surge of fury well up within him, and he sneered, "Oh, I didn't realize that you were sorry, my mistake. Don't you get it? I don't care that you're sorry! I trusted you, even when my best friend said I'd be better off without you, and you betrayed me. I hate you!"

His last words echoed through the room, as Severus glared at his companion. However, there was an odd tone in them, sounding more like a sobbing child than the crushing counter he had meant it as.

Swallowing, he tried again, yelling out "I hate you!" once more, but it sounded even weaker than the first time, especially as even more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Please," whispered the girl. "Please forgive me."

Part of Severus wanted nothing more than to sneer as he showed her the door, but it was small and rapidly-fading, so instead he whispered, "How can I trust you again, Evelyn? You are one of only two people I ever told about my mother...and you used it against me. What can you possibly give me to make me trust you again?"

Evelyn bit her lip, before shaking her head. "I...I don't know. I mean, I could offer you sex or an apprenticeship under my dad or something, but would that really make you trust me? Or would you just think I was bribing you?"

Severus frowned, opened his mouth, then frowned again. Finally he admitted, "You're right. There's nothing you could give me to make me trust you again after that."

Evelyn opened her mouth, then paused, before closing it again. Glumly, she nodded. "I guess this is it then. I'll see you around, Severus."

"It's not that I don't want to trust you," blurted out Severus, surprising himself with the truth. "It's just..." He trailed off, before nearly whispering, "...how can I really know? How can I be sure something like that won't happen again?"

Shrugging, Evelyn smiled ruefully, her eyes still watery. "Absolutely sure? Beyond any doubt? I don't think that's possible. Before that day, I was sure I would never say anything that would hurt you like that, but look at what I did."

She shook her head, still smiling. "Can you trust me to be your friend, even if I hurt you? I'd like to think you could. It's up to you, Severus. What do you want?"

"I...I suppose I want my friend back," said Severus slowly, looking away. "I don't know if I can trust you yet, but I'd like to try."

He could almost feel her hopeful gasp. "Does that mean that you forgive me, Severus?"

"I guess so," mumbled the Slytherin boy, turning to look at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, I forgive you, Evelyn."

For a second there, he thought he heard her squeal before shouting, "Thank you so much, Severus!" Then, before Severus could do anything, she tackled him, so enthusiastic she nearly bowled him over. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Grumbling, Severus half-heartedly wondered if it was it too late to change his mind about the whole forgiveness idea.

Then the door burst open, Lily behind it, shouting, "Severus! My mum! She's sent a letter and...what is she doing here!"

There was a pause, with Lily staring at him, several emotions playing across her face.

Evelyn reacted first, turning around and letting go of Severus as she did so. Her voice rather dry, she said, "It's nice to see you too, Evans.

Somehow, although it made no sense whatsoever, Severus had the feeling he had made a mistake. In an almost-placating manner, he said, "Evelyn and I...err, well, we made up."

"I can see that," replied Lily simply, before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Part of Severus wanted to dash to the door, throwing it open as he pursued her and tried to fix whatever had been messed up, get some form of explanation.

Instead, he turned back to Evelyn, muttering, "She'll get over it by tomorrow, with DADA finals and all."

Evelyn gave him a knowing look, sarcasm flowing through her voice as she spoke, "I'm sure she will."

He didn't believe what he was saying either.

* * *

"Alright, Lupin, Remus, you're up."

Severus sneered as the teacher called up his Gryffindor classmate, wondering idly if the Marauder would fail to produce a corporeal Patronus. He rather wished he would, the dirty little coward.

Lupin was now at the front of the classroom, where he looked around worriedly, seeming to draw strength from the support of his friends, Lily included. There was a shout from Potter of 'Go Moony! You can do it!"

Severus saw Lupin beginning to smile confidently and scowled in disgust, before a thought struck him. Careful to make sure the other boy could see him, he cupped one hand in front of his mouth and mimed a howl.

Lupin's smile instantly faded, and he glanced around, probably to make sure nobody saw, fearing they would figure out his secret: the fact that nice guy Remus Lupin was really a werewolf.

Of course, the odds that they would actually figure such a thing out were minute, even if they had been watching him. Severus didn't mind. After all, both he and wolf-boy knew that the only thing keeping nice boy Remus Lupin in the school was outcast Severus Snape, and considering Lupin's blatant unwillingness to stand up to his goonish buddies...Severus thought he was being rather generous.

"So, looking forward to when you get called up?" excitedly whispered the girl sitting next to him. "I don't know about you, but I can hardly wait to be done for the term!"

"Me too, I suppose," replied the Slytherin boy wearily.

Loud cheering muffled the sound of Severus' sighing at his partner. It wasn't because he disagreed with her-far from it as he was rather looking forward to the end of this whole business about Patroni-he just just wished that the person beside him had been someone else, a red-head instead of a blonde.

Unfortunately, Lily had been acting as if he didn't exist from the beginning of the day, refusing to even look at him. As such, Severus was sitting by Evelyn Matthews while Lily was with Mary MacDonald. At least it wasn't with Potter, he supposed, although he didn't like the sound of whatever had been going on between the two of them.

He really wished that she'd not blow what happened out of proportion and talk to him though. Still, he was rather used to Lily's strange moodiness.

He sighed, something about that thought was vaguely depressing.

"Matthews, Evelyn, you're next."

Severus broke out of his considerations as his friend's name had been called up. Turning to her, he gave her a pat on the back, forcing a smile for her benefit. "Good luck, Evelyn. Remember, on average, 97% of those who have succeeded on the Patronus charm once do so in the future as well."

She offered him a confident grin, each knowing she preferred hearing theories and figures to meaningless wishes for good fortune. "Thanks for the statistics. Now, here I go."

Pausing briefly his worrying contemplations, Severus watched the blonde girl walk to the front of the classroom, take a deep breath, then shout, "Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery cat sprang into life, pacing atop the desks, idly observing those around it.

Severus closed his eyes and began to clap, the noise echoing loudly over the polite, stilted applause of their fellow classmates. As he finished, opening his eyes once more, Evelyn returned to her seat with a proud, hip-swaying walk, a far cry from the broken girl of yesterday.

For several monutes neither said anything, then she smirked, breathing out in a whisper, "That went well, but Evans looks rather unhappy. I guess she's still angry."

"Ah," replied Severus simply, ignoring Mulciber's strutting up to the front of the classroom in favor of swiftly glancing in Lily's direction. She was talking with Mary however. "Does she now?"

"Yeah," said Evelyn, before changing the subject with a rather somber look on her face. "I'm so glad we're friends again, Severus. It was so lonely, not being able to talk to you, and I missed you very much."

Severus felt a lump in his throat as he replied, "I'm glad as well. It was nice though, not having to worry about being blown up by one of your poorly-prepared potions."

Covering her mouth with her hand, Evelyn managed to muffle the giggle escaping her throat. "It's nice to see you missed me too, Severus, although I have a bit of a theory about my...mishaps: you're so sure that I'm going to fail, that I get nervous and end up failing."

"Fascinating theory though it may be, I'm fairly sure it has far more to do with your seeming inability to pay attention to your work," replied Severus absentmindedly, his gaze upon Lily, who was fiddling with her wand, an odd anxiety about her movements.

"Perhaps so," replied the blonde, turning away from him with a sigh. "Good to have you back though."

"Mmm..." mumbled Severus noncommittally, glaring down at his desk. He didn't know what was going on, but Lily apparently hadn't glanced into his direction even once.

"So, Evans hasn't gotten over it, has she?" asked the Ravenclaw girl politely, the unspoken tone of 'you're wasting your time with that shrew' hanging in the air like a heavy fog. "Well, I suppose that'll quash those rumors, then."

"What rumor?" growled Severus irritably.

"Well, from what I heard, you had simultaneously dumped her at an altar and started on a torrid affair, as well as confessed your undying love and threatened her mum. Really, the rumors were quite fascinating." She laughed, shaking her head. "I'm guessing the reality wasn't nearly so interesting, though. Good thing you didn't do anything stupid, though."

"We wouldn't be shagging," replied an annoyed Severus, his face heating as he tried to defend himself. "And it wouldn't have been a mistake either. If it weren't for Mulciber showing up..." He trailed off, settling for glaring up at his fellow Slytherin.

He knew perfectly well that it was his own fault, as if he had just said no to his offer right then, then he could have said yes to Lily without feeling like a cowardly, backstabbing git...but it had been so difficult to say no, to give up on being a Death Eater, to give up on being somebody important, somebody special.

Now he really was worthless, with nothing to show for it.

"What's Mulciber have to do with it?" replied Evelyn curiously, bringing Severus back down to Earth.

Watching as Mulciber's visage filled with hatred and anger, his eyes fastened on...

Severus frowned. Apparently, he was attempting to threaten Mary or something, the way he was glaring in her direction. "Never mind. It was my fault anyway. I should have just said 'no' right off the bat. Speaking of which, would you look at him? He's acting rather peculiarly."

Evelyn turned back to the head of the class, just in time for Mulciber to shout "Expecto Patronum!" and get...nothing but silvery wisps. She snorted. "And would you look at that? Looks like the little wanker couldn't manage it. Should've cracked the books more, rather than letting you do it for him."

"Ah, well, I suppose that was my fault," replied Severus with a shrug, glad that she had gotten off the topic of Lily. He didn't like how the two of them seemed to hate each other so much, whether it was Evelyn's subtle barbs or Lily's rants.

Severus let out a small sigh. Speaking of Lily...he glanced in her direction once more, only to see her looking back, a grimace on her face.

He blinked, then raised a quizzical eyebrow.

Her face flushed, but she held his gaze, mouthing 'I'm sorry'.

Not knowing what to say, Severus offered an accepting nod as he let out a sigh of relief. He hoped it meant that whatever was going on would blow over. Maybe she'd ask him out on another date...

The professor's voice rang out, interrupting his thoughts, "Snape, Severus, your turn is next."

"Remember Severus, 97% success ratio." whispered Evelyn, patting his shoulder. "Just focus on what makes you happy and you'll be fine."

Severus nodded, before taking a deep breath and walking to the front of the class...

* * *

Severus frowned as he stared out into the crowded classroom. He had done this before. He just needed to focus, ignoring all those eyes around him.

There was only one pair he wanted to watch then, with piercing, emerald green orbs lighting the way into his very soul...or so he supposed. Right now, they were fixated upon his eyes so tightly that he nearly forgot there were other people in the room.

"Snape, we're waiting," pointed out the professor gruffly.

"Just a moment, sir."

Severus closed his eyes and began to focus, reminding himself that he had to get going. Even so, he was rather distracted by his wayward thoughts.

What would it be like, to see those eyes watching him every day? Lily watching and smiling at him, every single day day of his life. It was a simple dream, he supposed, but somehow...he wanted it so very much.

Would that be too much to ask?

He swallowed, then banished that thought for the moment-he had a spell to cast. Closing his eyes, he called back to a time quite long ago, months in the past in fact: the night of Slughorn's party, the mere memory of the smile on Lily's face making him grin.

She had been so happy then, and just the way she had looked at him, like he was her savior, it made his heart veritably sing.

"Acceptable? Fine, be that way! I'm still saying that it was brilliant, though! We should definitely, definitely do that again some time, Mr. Snape, god of dancing!"

"Opening his eyes and finding Lily's emerald-green ones, watching him with a mixture of hope and worry, he shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

With a burst of light, a large silvery snake slithered out of his wand and on top of the table in front of him. An adder of some sort, his detached mind noted, it coiled up its several foot length, eyes observing the classroom as its small tongue flicked in and out.

Lily started to cheer loudly, along with Evelyn's somewhat less brazen clapping...although the rest of the class was silent.

In spite of this, Severus allowed his grin to widen, a fierce joy burning in his chest-he had done it, after so many weeks of hard work, constantly failing, he had called forth this great silvery beast. For this one shining moment, he was not a failure.

"Very well, Mr. Snape. You may return to your seat," said the instructor dryly. Full marks, although it won't make up for all of your past difficulties, I'm afraid.

"Yes, sir." He didn't mind much, as he'd have done the same in the man's shoes.

Dismissing his Patronus, he was about to make his way back over to Evelyn, when he noticed something odd. Lily was gesturing over to him, while Mary seemed to have changed tables, sitting by Peter Pettigrew.

Frowning, he glanced back at Evelyn, mouthed a quick 'sorry', then slipped into the seat next to Lily.

Raising his eyebrows at her, he asked in a low voice, "Yes?"

She bit her lip, then muttered, so quickly that she was barely understandable, "I'm sorry I've been acting like a hag today, Sev. I just got so...ergh about Evelyn, and I wish you didn't forgive her, but it's not your fault what she did, and she's your friend, and it's not like it's my job to police your friends or anything-unless they are really despicable-and...I'm sorry."

Severus blinked, not sure of what to say. It was unusual for Lily to say something like that, especially after all the disagreements he had had over his choice of friends...especially when he had started to have the vaguest feeling that she might just be right about them.

In the end, he simply replied, "I forgive you, Lily."

"Thanks, Sev, it really means a lot to me," replied the Gryffindor girl with a small smile, ignoring the professor as he started to speak. "More importantly though, congratulations on your Patronus, Sev. Was Mary helpful?"

"Yes, it went quite well," replied Severus, recalling the time he had spent with the brunette. It hadn't been unpleasant. "If it were to happen again, I wouldn't be opposed."

He still preferred being alone with Lily though, to be honest. Although she could be a bit of a firebrand, she cared a lot for him, and seemed to have his best interests at heart. He couldn't fault her for failing at that. He just wished that there could be more than just friendship.

It just never seemed to go quite right; every time it looked like something might conceivably happen, there would always be something to derail it, whether it was Potter, or the situation with Evelyn, his mother, or the Death Eaters.

He shook his head. Maybe it would go his way one of these days, if he just kept waiting for the right moment, trying his hardest like he had with his Patronus...

He noticed Mary watching him with interest, a single eyebrow quirked as she mouthed, 'Do it.'

...or not.

He stared down into his desk and sighed. He couldn't lie to himself, not today. He was just making stupid, dunderheaded excuses that sounded pathetic even to his mind.

He had never really tried his hardest at...wooing Lily, not like he had at the bloody Patronus. In fact, he had never really tried at all. There had been chances in the past, real ones, chances he could have taken and tried to push them from their long-standing friendship into something more.

He hadn't taken them, not a single one. Even though she had explicitly asked him if he had been willing to go out with her, he was still waffling, and hadn't said a thing. Even Mary MacDonald, a girl who had but the barest acquaintance with him, had spent a mere thirty minutes with him before outright asking, "What are you waiting for? You know she'll say yes."

And Severus knew it. From the moment that Lily had asked him, he knew it. Lily had a bit of a tendency to find her answers before realizing she had, so if she had asked him...then that meant that it was probable that she had unconsciously made her decision a long time ago.

So what was he waiting for? He had wanted this for the longest time, hadn't he?

He had, and still did. He was just afraid, not of 'no', but rather of 'yes'.

Severus suppressed a self-loathing sneer. It was pathetic of him, really. 'Oh no, a girl fancies me and I fancy her right back! What ever shall I do? Why, sit on my bum and try to find something to blame other than myself, of course!'

It was just...how did someone do this, this dating thing? Or rather, how did they do it without screwing it up? Because he knew how to be friends with her, knowledge gained over years of trial and error, but he didn't really know how to be her...boyfriend.

It was a concept that rather perplexed him, to be honest. Oh sure, he had had friends (or in the case of Mulciber and Avery, ex-friends) who had been in...romantic liaisons, but he didn't want some puerile 'snog and shag' relationship. He wanted something more, especially with Lily. Maybe Medusa would have an idea or two to make sure nothing went wrong.

No, that would be rather like cheating, in a way. He'd have to do this himself, and the first thing to do would be declaring his interest in courting her...dating her in common parlance. That should be easy, as even if he cocked it up, she'd probably say yes.

Severus looked around, noticing that Professor Skeith was droning on about the end of term. It was a pretty standard farewell as he let them know how he wouldn't be coming back next year due to a contract with the Bulgarian government. Severus ignored him, preferring to focus his attention upon the girl sitting beside him. Opening his mouth, he marched through the gate of his fears, saying-

He closed his mouth, a thought striking him. It would be easy to just ask her out by whispering to her in class...but, he still remembered how hurt Lily had been when he had rejected her. She deserved more than just a simple 'Hey, would you like to go out next week?' asked at the end of class.

No, he could at least try to create some some semblance of romance, a small token of fantasy. He wanted something that would make her-

Lily interrupted him with a poke on the shoulder. "Um, Severus, I don't know what you are wool-gathering about, but class is over."

Blinking, Severus looked up, only to see that she was correct. Most of the class was getting ready to leave, or (especially in the case of her fellow Gryffindors) had already left. Soon they would be the only ones remaining.

They would soon be alone...

He turned back to Lily, who was watching him with a rather odd expression in her eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. "Are you alright, Severus?"

He frowned at her, thinking carefully, a small, solid ball of fear bunching up in the pit of his stomach. He ignored it.

"Severus?" Lily's arms had uncrossed, as she peered at him, anxiety creeping into her voice.

"Come with me." Without waiting for her to reply, he stood up, then walked out the classroom door, holding the door open.

She blinked, but nodded, following him out through the open door.

Severus felt a small smile threaten to creep over his lips. Turning away so she couldn't see it, he walked as quickly as he could up the hall, heading to the moving staircases.

Lily nearly had to jog to keep up, her legs being much shorter than his own. "What is it, Severus? Is something the matter? Why are we going so fast?"

He shook his head. "No, there's nothing the matter...Just keep up, alright?"

She pursed her lips, but followed grimly.

Soon they reached the staircase, climbing the stone steps swiftly, up one floor, then a couple others, up and up until they had reached the topmost level.

Looking around quickly, he spied a nearby window, through which light streamed in from a slowly-setting sun. It would have to do.

He walked over, then turned around, waiting for Lily to catch up.

Breathing heavily from the exertion of keeping up with him, she walked up to him, a confused look upon her face.

Taking a deep breath, he reached out and took her right hand, holding it in both of his own. Looking down into her emerald green eyes, he spoke, trying to keep from stuttering this time in spite of his embarrassment, "Lily, you've been one of the greatest sources of life in my dour existence, a sparkling ruby amongst the darkened shadows. I can hardly imagine spending a single day without you..."

Lily blinked, before staring at him with widened eyes.

He lifted her warm hand to his lips and kissing it briefly, before continuing, "...I don't want to imagine it. I want to spend every day by your side, as not just your best friend...but as something more." He took a deep breath, then asked simply, "Lily Evans, would you allow me the honor of being your 'boyfriend'?"

Lily blinked again, her cheeks turning more and more pink as she stood there, her mouth gaping slightly.

Severus bit his lip.

"Um...yes?" replied Lily, in almost a question, so great was the hesitance in her voice. Her mouth worked, once then again, before she swallowed, saying in a stronger tone, "Yes, Severus, I would be happy to...erm, give you the honor."

Severus felt himself starting to smile, then grin, the warmth of the feeling in his stomach inexpressible any other way.

She. Had. Said. Yes.

Then she started to laugh, a hysteric, giggling laugh.

Severus looked at her, an uneasy feeling starting to eat into his pulsing joy as she held onto his hand in support, breaking into gales of laughter. "Um, Lily?"

She said, laughing so hard she could only stutter, "I'm...s-sorry, S-Severus. It-it's just th-that...well, that was..." Her giggling returned as she tried to explain, until finally she just said, "Oh, sod it."

Before he could do more than blink, she had grabbed him by the front of his robes and pulled him down to her in a burning kiss. Taking a quick advantage of his surprised gasp, she plunged her tongue into his mouth, tasting his tongue before beginning a more determined inspection.

Severus' eyes slid shut, and he barely noticed as his left arm slipped around her back, so engrossed was he in the taste of her mouth.

Several seconds passed, or were they hours? He couldn't tell. Either way, eventually Lily pushed him back, allowing her to pant out, "Would you like to go on a date sometime?"

"Huh?"

"I-I mean, would that have been so d-difficult?" asked Lily, gulping for air as her face flushed from exertion. "Just a-ask me out, then k-kiss me? D-did you have to do some...absurd production?"

Severus blushed, mumbling, unable to focus on more than her slightly-swollen lips "I thought you'd like it..."

"Well...it wasn't bad," said Lily with a rather silly grin. "But...well, I would have said yes anyway, you know?"

Severus tried to think of a brilliant, or even remotely intelligent response, but he was rather distracted by Lily's pink cheeks and heaving chest. Finally, he muttered, "Fine, I'll do it your way."

"Huh?"

"Would you like to go out next Friday?"

"Uh, sure, yea-" She was unable to finish her sentence, for Severus had let out a low growl, before pressing her against the nearest wall as his tongue stole entrance into her waiting mouth.

Based on her responding groan, he decided that perhaps her method had its-

She sucked on his tongue.

Sod thinking.


	25. The First Date

**Letters From The Dark**  
**Chapter 25**  
**The First Date**  
**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

"You know, Lily, I don't think that this is a particularly good idea."

"Oh come on Severus, it's a great idea. My mom wouldn't have a problem bringing you home, I'm sure."

The summer sun was bright in the sky overhead at King's Cross station, the bustling crowd pressing in on those exiting.

Severus and Lily were among them, because Severus lacked a parent who would pick him up and Lily's mom said that she'd be late, due to traffic.

"I still cannot bring myself to agree, Lily. Your mom is going to attempt bodily harm upon my person the moment I get into the car, really." Severus was following Lily, quite recalcitrant as he pushed along his luggage.

"Oh come on, Severus. My mom isn't that bad. I'm sure you're blowing it all out of proportion. She won't mind you riding with us, I promise." Alright, Lily did know that her mom probably wouldn't be too thrilled to find out the identity of her new boyfriend, but that didn't mean that Severus should go hiding from the woman or anything.

She knew that Severus knew she was right, even if he didn't want to admit it. Besides, she just didn't want to leave Severus' side right then-their relationship had been kept quiet since it started, neither wanting to deal with their bothersome housemates' meddling, at least not so early on in their relationship.

A rather dry voice spoke, "I don't know. Your mum was quite the spitfire the one time I saw her. I can see why he'd be worried." It was Mary, dressed in an expensive, soft-looking orange sundress.

Severus nodded, eyeing her distrustfully. "Hello, MacDonald. What are you doing here?"

"Severus, don't be rude," admonished Lily.

"It's alright," said Mary with a shrug. "Hey Lily, where will you be doing your Apparition test this summer?"

"Apparition test?" Lily frowned. "I thought that wasn't until seventh year."

Severus smirked, even as Mary let out a small chuckle, saying, "Seventeen, it's when you're seventeen, not seventh year. You haven't thought about it yet, have you?"

Lily's face heated up, but Severus smoothly cut in, "Lily and I will both be going to the one out in Hogsmeade, next Tuesday."

Mary frowned. "That's no good, I was planning to go to the one north of Bristol. Hmm..." She glanced back and forth at the two of them. "Are you guys going to be in London for a while?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry, my mom's going to be picking us up soon. It won't be more than ten minutes I bet."

"I see..."

Seeing disappointment flash across her friend's face, Lily felt rather prat-like. She had been spending an awful lot of time with Severus of late, and in hindsight had rather neglected her friends. Feeling inadequate, she said, "I'm sorry, Mary. Maybe we can meet together later this summer?"

"Maybe," replied Mary dubiously.

There was a guilty silence, then Severus spoke up, "There's a Wizarding pub out by Bristol. Lily and I could Floo up there instead. The Ministry isn't exactly strict about who tests where, so long as they do it."

Mary looked at him strangely, then smiled. "That...that would be excellent."

Lily whispered a quick 'thank you' in Severus' ear, before saying, "It'll be fun doing it together...although I hope we can get it all done in one day. I heard Apparition was rather rough."

Severus shrugged. "They assume that most of those taking the test will be receiving instruction from their parents as well. Most Muggleborns need one or two tries I'm afraid."

"Well, that's not very fair," replied Lily unhappily.

Mary spoke up, disgruntled, "I heard that Dumbledore's trying to make it so a Ministry wizard will stop by once or twice in the middle of the school year, but that'll be two or three years before the Ministry decides."

"Great, so maybe in two or three years, but right now..."

Mary nodded her head absentmindedly, glancing up at a clock. Grimacing, she said, "I've got to meet Sabrina in five minutes in Diagon Alley. You're sure you guys have to go?"

"Unfortunately," replied Severus. "Mrs. Evans has always proven herself to be punctual. We won't have time, I'm sure."

Mary shrugged. "Very well, I'll see you guys next Tuesday then." Bidding the two of them fare well, Mary turned to leave...

Severus then spoke up, sounding embarrassed, "Ah...Miss MacDonald, I wanted to say thank you for the assistance you provided on my Patronus charm. It was quite helpful, and I meant to thank you earlier, but..." he vaguely gestured with his hands. "Thank you."

Mary paused, before turning and grinning back at him. "You're welcome, Severus."

"R-right." Severus nodded quickly.

"Let's all keep in touch, alright?" said Mary, practically tripping over her words as she spoke. "I don't think you have an owl, right? Well, we can use mine. Anyway, I have to go. Hope you and Lily have fun!"

As she walked away, Lily fought the urge to laugh.

Walking up to Severus, she put an arm around his waist and grinned up at him. "Why Sev, I think you made a friend."

Severus looked back at Lily with a slightly frightened expression. "I suppose I did. Thank you, Lily."

"You're welcome." replied Lily, giving him a little wink and a hug. "Not that I did all that much. That was all on you. I could have kissed you when you mentioned the Floo network."

"R-right." stuttered Severus, who swallowed before saying again, "Right, well...she did help me, after all."

"Mmhmm." Lily smiled faintly, as she noticed his fingers almost absentmindedly tracing the back of her hand. She leaned a bit closer into him.

"Yes..." Severus shifted awkwardly, looking around the parking lot.

There was a moment of silence, then Lily said, holding his hand tightly, "You know, there was no expiration date on that offered kiss."

"Oh, I see. Well..." Flushing, even as pleasure flashed across his face, Severus bent down and gave Lily a kiss, just grazing the edge of her lips.

Lily shook her head, smiling slightly she pressed her turned her head, pressing her lips against his own as she pulled him closer, relishing the heady feeling it gave her.

She heard a quiet groan coming from Severus, feeling one of his arms feeling its way up her side.

Shutting her eyes, she opened her mouth and gave him a deeper kiss, which he returned eagerly, their tongues waging a brief, determined battle...

With a deep breath, Lily then withdrew, panting slightly. "We'd...we'd better stop."

Breathing roughly himself, Severus nodded glumly. "Yeah, your mum should be here any-"

A beeping noise interrupted them both. They hadn't been a moment too soon, as Lily's mother had arrived in the family car.

The unhappy look on her face had Lily wondering, red-faced, just how much she had seen.

* * *

"So, Severus, are you looking forward to our date tomorrow?"

"...Yes."

"Ha ha, so am I." Lily allowed her voice to lapse into awkward silence, much like Severus.

Holding tightly to Severus' hand in order to support herself, Lily looked down at her feet, red in the face.

Her mother, Marigold Evans, hadn't been unkind or anything, and had seemed alright with the knowledge that her daughter and her daughter's best friend were dating. It was just...awkward, both Lily and Severus feeling the tension as it sizzled in the air.

Several minutes passed, no-one speaking.

"Well, we're here," said Marigold, allowing their car to coast to a stop.

A shadow seemed to cross Severus' face as they arrived at his home over in Spinner's End, but he gave Marigold a polite thank you, before pecking Lily on the cheek. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Lily?"

"Three o'clock," confirmed Lily with a smile. It would be their first date ever...well, their first real date anyway. "Have you thought about what we're going to do, Sev?"

"Ah, I was thinking that perhaps you'd like to get some ice cream?" said Severus, after several seconds of thought. "The weather shouldn't be bad, and the nearest parlour is only a couple of miles from your house."

"Sure, sounds excellent. It's not exactly a common dessert at Hogwarts, either." Lily thought for a moment-it sounded like an awfully short date. She wanted to spend more time with him. "And then maybe we walk around town? Ooh, or maybe we could go to a theatre and see what's playing."

Out of the corner of her eyes, Lily saw Marigold shaking her head.

Severus' eyebrows creased in thought. "I think...that perhaps just going for a walk and ice cream would be best."

"Alright, I'll see you then, Sev!" Giving him a peck on the cheek, she allowed him to let go of her hand and exit the car, making his way to his house where, with a final glance at her, he vanished inside.

Lily sighed, a smile forming on her face.

"That was rather insensitive of you, Lily," commented her mother with a trace of disapproval in her voice.

"Huh?"

"Asking the boy to treat you to both ice cream and the theatre?" Marigold frowned at her. "He likely has difficulty making ends meet as it is. I doubt he could afford the price of watching a film."

Remembering this herself, Lily felt as if she were about two inches tall. "I didn't really think about it..." she replied lamely. "Maybe I should pay for our date tomorrow, then?"

"No, just make sure you're careful not to make that mistake again, Lily."

They began to drive home, the car making little popping noises periodically, Lily sitting quietly in the back seat, thinking about Severus' money problems...which reminded her of another problem on the horizon.

Opening her mouth, Lily asked hesitantly, "So, is there anything we can do about, you know, the whole Europe thing?

"Lily, it's a great opportunity, once in a lifetime really. You're going to see Paris, Milan, Madrid-a whole host of beautiful places and sights. It'll be the best two weeks of your life, I'm sure," replied her mother with an odd smile.

"I know it'll be fun," said Lily half-heartedly. "I was just hoping that I could spend this summer with Severus. I know it's a great opportunity, but do I really have to go?"

Her mother sighed. "Yes, Lily, you have to go."

"But I didn't want to go to begin with!" retorted Lily. "I thought if I asked you, you'd say 'no'."

"Well, then you should have simply told James 'no' yourself," said Marigold, her eyes narrowed. "Mr. Potter's family has already paid for the trip, and when I saw how much it was... Well, it was more than I could get for this car if I sold it, and that's only because I convinced them to drop it from two months to two weeks."

Stopping the car at a traffic light, she turned around and gave Lily a stubborn look, saying, "I'm not going to let you waste several hundred pounds of someone else's money because you want to spend the summer with your boyfriend, especially when you told them you would go."

Lily grimaced, but nodded reluctantly. "Yes, mother."

Marigold returned her attention to the road. Several seconds passed, then she smiled wistfully. "You know, your father and I were planning to go to Paris next summer, once you and Petunia were out of the house. He promised me that we'd get to walk in the streets, see the Eiffel tower...eat those snails the French love so much. It would have been so romantic."

There were tears in her eyes as she spoke, "I miss him so much..."

Lily felt a lump in her throat, feeling guilty that she had been so busy being worried about Severus this year that even her father's death had fallen by the wayside. "I'm so sorry, mum..."

"Me too, Lily, me too."

* * *

The next day, Lily spent what seemed like hours getting herself ready for her date. Although she would never tell Severus, she had probably tried on something like twenty or thirty outfits before settling on an old standby-a short, black dress that skirted the edge of being too revealing, both in the chest and the legs. Wearing just enough make-up to accentuate her eyes, the young red-head felt physically ready for their date.

Mentally was a different story though, and the date itself was the least of her worries. Although she knew she had to tell Severus about her going to Europe with James, she wasn't looking forward to it.

Rather glad that they hadn't learned Apparition just yet, Lily walked to Severus' house, grateful for her last-minute decision not to wear heels. This gave her more time to focus on how to tell him.

She could just blurt it out and explain of course. However, that seemed likely to result in a Severus who was hurt and utterly pissed off and not a very good first date.

On the other hand, she could try letting him know gently, and easing him into the news...but that would require a sense of subtlety and tact that Lily had some issues with.

She just wanted to have their first date go well. Was that too much to ask?

At Severus' house though, Lily was distracted by a rather odd sight-a woman, perhaps a year or two older than her, walking up the path to the front door. Dressed in robes of indigo and keeping what could be nothing other than a wand jammed through the bun in her hair, she was obviously a witch, and one who made but the barest attempt at keeping the Statute of Secrecy.

Curious, both about her appearance and presence at her friend's house, Lily called out a cheery hello.

The woman turned, revealing her face, a lovely, heart-shaped one with straw-blond hair pulled into the bun Lily had noticed before. "Yes, what is it?"

"Just wondering, by any chance are you here to see Severus Snape?" asked Lily, drawing closer as she spoke, the woman unmoving from her position before the door. "I'm his girlfriend you see, and I don't believe he has mentioned you to me before."

"That is hardly a surprise," said the woman simply, her tone sounding rather aggravated as she continued, "as he hasn't met me yet, Miss...?"

"Evans, sorry, Lily Evans. It's nice to meet you." Lily smiled politely. "I'm sorry to be a bother, it's just that Severus doesn't get that many visitors."

"Trust me," muttered the woman, "I'd be elsewhere if I could help it." Catching sight of Lily's darkening visage, she hastened to say, "Nothing against either of you, it's just that I had plans for the afternoon before this happened."

"What sort of plans? What's going on?" asked Lily in confusion.

"Well, I have been-"

"Hello, Evans."

Lily turned, her lip curling in recognition of the voice she heard. "Hello, Matthews. What brings you here?"

"Why, I'm here to talk to my friend about something," replied Evelyn with a shrug, dressed in a blue t-shirt and a miniskirt, obviously having no problem dressing in the Muggle style.

"Well, he's going to be rather busy, I'm afraid," said Lily tartly. "We're going on a date, so I doubt he will be able to speak with you much."

"Don't worry, it shouldn't take long." Evelyn started to chuckle, her blue eyes dancing with mirth. "There shouldn't be any conflicts with this date of yours."

"Hmm, alright." Deciding to ignore her and her laughing eyes, Lily returned her attention to the other woman, who raised her eyebrows with an expression of boredom upon her face.

Lily's face heated in embarrassment. This couldn't have been too great of an impression to leave on the woman. Trying to salvage some vestige of dignity, Lily changed the subject. "So...I didn't catch your name either, Miss...?"

The look she gave Lily indicated that she was seriously debating whether to answer or not, but in the end she muttered, "Katrina Gort."

"And what are you doing here?" asked Lily, frowning. "Are you here with Evelyn?"

"Yes, I am." And with that, the woman's look of distaste grew more pronounced. Rapping at the door, she muttered, "I'm here on behalf of her father, to make it official."

"Uh...official? What are you-" Lily's question was cut short by the door opening, revealing Severus in a grey button-up shirt over slacks, fiddling with his collar buttons.

"Sorry, stupid Muggle shirts keep...Uh, hello." Severus raised his eyebrows, before frowning. "I knew we had a date, Lily, but I thought it was just the two of us. This seems...a bit much."

"Apparently, Evelyn and Miss Gort would like to meet with you about...something," said Lily, shaking her head as she glanced at the rather severe-looking woman beside her. "Something official, or what not."

"Official?" asked Severus, visibly confused.

Evelyn coughed, grinning before saying formally, "Mr. Severus Snape, my father, Potions Master Robert Matthews, would like to extend to you a former offer of apprenticeship, for a period consisting of this summer, and the two years after you graduate, concluding with your instatement as a Potions Master."

There was a shocked silence, punctuated only by a sigh coming from Katrina, then Severus spoke, stammering out, "I...what?" He stared at Evelyn as if she had grown a second head. "I thought...you don't need to do that. I forgave you, remember?"

Evelyn shrugged, smirking. "Hey, you could use something to do, right? Sitting around all summer gets boring. Plus, you need money, right? My dad will pay for everything you need over the summer, so you don't need to use what you've been saving."

Lily just stood there gobsmacked, not sure what to say as Severus stuttered out, "I...I don't know...I...thank you. I need to think about it, but...thank you."

"You're welcome." Evelyn's grin widened. "Take your time and think it over. But when you are ready to say yes, just toss me a quick Floo." She smirked at Lily. "Have fun on your little date."

Severus blushed. "Thanks."

Evelyn chuckled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an Apparition class to get to."

She glanced at Katrina, who sighed, then said, "I look forward to working with you, Mr. Snape."

And with that, they left Lily, still stunned into silence. Turning to look at Severus, she saw a quiet smile on his face, even as his eyebrows knit in thought.

Something in her stomach tightened.

* * *

By the time they made it to the ice cream parlour, telling Severus about James and Europe had completely left her mind, as both of them were stewing over what Evelyn had said, neither having said a word.

"Well, we're here," said Lily as the two of them entered the dingy joint, a rather forced cheer to her voice as she tried to break the ice. "I don't know about you, but I've been looking forward to this almost the whole week. So...let's just take some time to focus on us, you know?"

Severus glanced at her, before quirking a slight smile, "You're right. Well, in this at least."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I'm right about a lot of things, Mr. Snape," said Lily in mock anger, crossing her arms over her chest."Besides, the two of us have some ice cream, ever so delicious, frozen goodness to savor."

Severus raised an eyebrow, saying sardonically, "And here I thought it was eggs and rashers you were all weird over."

Lily snorted, glad that he had started talking again. "Severus, you may be familiar with the delicacies of of pumpkin juice, and all those other Wizarding foods, but I'm going to remind you of certain Muggle delicacies, too! Why my dad loves ice-"

The silence returned, Severus staring down at the table between the two of them while Lily looked away, her eyes upon the counter on the other side of the parlour. It brought back memories, wonderful, painful memories of times spent with her dear father. Away from the bustle of Hogwarts and the confusion of the past few months, they seemed to surround her.

A quiet voice interrupted her thoughts, as Severus said softly, looking up at her with an air of timidity, "My mother...never cared for ice cream. She always thought it was just for Muggles... It was strange to me growing up-she married one and had a kid with him...but hated the idea of eating Muggle food." He paused, glancing at her, then asked, "What was his favorite flavor?"

Lily frowned, thinking hard. "I think it was...orange sherbert? Yeah, that sounds about right, although he certainly didn't mind chocolate either." She chuckled. "Must have been part of the reason he got that gut of his. Mom didn't care much for that, although she didn't say much to him at the time."

Severus said nothing, a small smile on his face as Lily continued to talk.

"If he were here now...well, he'd be sitting beside you eating a giant bowl of the stuff. He ate what he liked, and lived like he liked." Lily smiled herself, a warm feeling creeping into her as she recalled the nostalgic past. "He rather liked you, you know."

"Indeed," said Severus, a far-away look in his dark eyes. "I was rather fond of him as well. He taught me how to ride a bike, did you know that?"

Lily shook her head. "Actually, I don't think I did. Neither of you ever mentioned it. When was this?"

Severus paused, furrowing his brow in thought before saying, "It was the summer after first year. You were busy shopping with your mum that day, if I recall. I stopped by, hoping you could come hang out, but when you couldn't, I was about to go home when I noticed the strange contraption he was cleaning. I was curious, so I asked him about it... One thing led to another, and soon he was showing me to ride the thing."

There was an odd look on Severus' face as he said this in Lily's opinion, bittersweet if anyone asked her. Cautiously, she asked, "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I did...well, at the time anyway." His eyes seemed to look past her, seeing something she couldn't. Not nostalgic, but regretful. "My mother wasn't particularly pleased when I told her, and my father was displeased that she was displeased. It was quite a mess."

"Did you enjoy it though?" asked Lily, watching him. "Riding the bike, I mean."

"I did, although not the aftermath," said Severus. "My mother didn't feel that it was proper of me to ride a bicycle, not when there were broomsticks and spells to get me from place to place. Of course, she didn't exactly want to admit to herself that we couldn't afford a broomstick, not with what my father was making." He paused, watching Lily as he said carefully, "She would have been very proud of me getting an apprenticeship at such a young age."

Lily looked at him, a strange tightness in her stomach again at the thought of him spending most of summer away from her and with...Evelyn. It was bad enough that she had cocked up the whole Potter thing, but for him to be away so long... It just wasn't fair, not when he had just agreed to become her boyfriend.

But Lily swallowed her objection before it could even touch her tongue. As her mother had reminded her, Severus badly needed this opportunity. Even with what he had earned tutoring, there was no way he could make it through the summer without getting some form of job, and an apprenticeship... "You know, Severus, I think you should take this."

"Really?" asked Severus, caution audible in his voice.

Lily nodded. "Yeah, it really is an amazing opportunity, and I'm pretty sure that it will be a lot easier for us to keep in touch once we can Apparate. Even if it's a few hours away by driving, it'll be just a couple of seconds, right? And we can write every day."

"That sounds-"

"Are you kids ready to order?" The waitress had come by, a forced smile on her face as she held the pad of paper ready for their order.

Giving said order to the harried teen, a random thought struck the redhead: when was the last time that Severus had mentioned his parents, other than to mention how he felt about his mother's suicide? She couldn't remember, not that he had ever mentioned them much to begin with.

As the girl left though, Severus said, "As I was saying, that sounds like it would be alright, but I was thinking of another idea. We both know that you're as skilled as me in Potions, so why not see if you could apprentice under him as well?"

Lily shook her head, something nagging her from the back of her mind as she said, "Well, if he'll say yes, but it's rather unlikely. I mean, we're both equally skilled, but you're good friends with his daughter, while she...I'm pretty sure that she tolerates me at best..."_ '...and more likely hates my guts.'_

Severus winced. "That may be true... It shouldn't go too badly though as long as the two of you remain civil. She owes me that, after all the times she went all...dunderheaded over her latest beau."

_'Her latest sex toy, you mean'_ thought Lily disparagingly. Never the less, she said, "I don't care much for her, but I can certainly be civil, and I hope she promises the same."

The waitress came back, giving each of them their ice cream-chocolate for Lily and vanilla for Severus.

"Alright, I'll tell her I accept and see if you can come to...although you're going to want to let your family know ahead of time. I don't know how thrilled your mom will be if you're going to be gone most of the summer." Severus gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry you're not going to be able to spend too much time with them."

"Well, given that she seems to be quite happy with the idea of me spending two weeks in bloody Europe with James Potter, I doubt she'll mind," groused Lily, shoving a spoonful of the tasty treat into her mouth. "Yum..."

"Europe with...Potter?" said Severus, his voice quiet, but dangerous. "What do you mean, 'Europe with Potter'?"

"Uh..."

Severus' voice turned ice-cold. "Explain. Now."

Lily sucked in her breath, then said, "Well, you see, Severus, it's like this..." Words failed her, in the face of Severus' clear fury.

"What happened?" said Severus, his eyes narrowed at her and hands balled into fists. "What did you do!"

Lily instinctively backed away, staring at him.

Slowly, his eyes widened with a strange horror as the blood drained from his face. He sat back down, having stood up without either of them noticing. Carefully, he said, his voice quiet, "Please explain."

She did, her eyes on Severus the whole time.

He listened, asked questions, mostly to clarify the chain of events, and generally paid attention. However, Lily noticed that his eyes seemed to seek his lap, staring down at his hands folded there.

At the end of her explanation, he nodded, then stood up. A rather pensive look upon his face, he said in a distant voice, "I'm sorry, Lily, but I have to get going. There's something I need to...consider."

Still worried that he might break up with her or something drastic like that, Lily apologized once more, "Severus, again I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner...hell, I should have made sure to say I wasn't interested before things got so far. I just-"

"It's not your fault that Potter is a disgusting, manipulative git," said Severus in a quiet, controlled tone of voice. "I don't blame you, not really."

Even though Lily knew this wasn't the time for this, that arguing right now was a bad idea, she found herself saying nonetheless, "James isn't manipulative, he just does things without thinking sometimes, being reckless you see-"

"Lily," said Severus quietly, shaking his head. "Potter is a manipulative git. Don't blind yourself-he knew exactly what he was doing. He always has,and I'm not sure if you're just refusing to notice it or being a giant hypocrite. Regardless," he cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking away from her. "I'll see you tomorrow. I thank you for the date."

With that, he made to leave, his untouched ice cream a puddle of glop in his bowl.

"Wait, Severus. Please don't go!" cried out Lily, as her companion opened the door. "I'm sorry about James, really I am! I...please don't go..."

Slowly, Severus turned around, an odd look on his face. He then said, his dark eyes on her own, "Lily, I'm not that angry at you. I just..."

"Then why are you leaving!" shouted Lily, doing her best to ignore how everyone else in the parlor was now staring at them.

Severus noticed though, his eyes sweeping the building as his face turned more and more pink. He muttered, barely audible, "Come with me. We're making a scene."

Lily blushed, but nodded reluctantly, following Severus as he walked out the door.

As soon as they were outside, Lily glowered at him, jabbing a finger into his arm, "If you're not angry, then what was that about?"

Severus looked down at his feet, avoiding her eyes again. "I was mad at first. I nearl...needed time to think."

"You needed time to think..." said Lily skeptically.

Severus continued avoiding her gaze as they continued walking, the sun low in the darkening sky, casting growing shadows in the still-familiar streets.

He then spoke, his voice quiet, "Lily, I don't think there's any way Evelyn's father will accept you as an apprentice if you're going to be missing two or more weeks running around Europe."

Liky knew he was trying to change the subject, but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, you're probably right. That sucks."

"It sucks that I am right?" said Severus with a small smirk.

"You know perfectly well that's not what I meant," replied Lily, unable to suppress a nervous giggle. "I meant...ooh, you know what I meant."

"Yes," allowed Severus, before continuing morosely, "We're going to be apart for most of the summer, aren't we?"

"Seems like it, and we just had our first date too," said Lily, shivering slightly, and not from the cold. "What a fiasco tonight has been."

Severus said nothing, but continued forward, Lily at his side as they made their way towards her house.

It wasn't for several more minutes that he spoke, "Lily, there will be other nights, other dates. Just because tonight didn't go so badly, doesn't mean that they all will."

"Will those dates be with you though, Severus?" asked Lily, a nervous note in her voice.

As they made their way up the steps to Lily's front door, Severus quirked a smile, "As long as you'll have me, Lily."

"Then there will be many more, I wager."

Nodding, Severus gently pulled Lily closer, giving her a light kiss on the lips. It lasted a second, maybe two, before he pulled away.

Turning to go, he began to walk into the deepening gloom, saying simply,"I'll see you tomorrow, Lily."

"You too, Sev. You too."

Lily knew that there was still something Severus wasn't telling her, but for now, this was enough.

**Author's Note: **Hello again. It's been quite a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry for having taken so long, but my job has been quite hectic. I wouldn't count on me to update too frequently, as I also have a book I'm working on.

All the same, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, as it was rather a pleasure writing it. I think that it's reached the point that the characters have taken on a bit of a life of their own, instead of canon. Don't you think?


	26. Avoiding

**Letters From The Dark**  
**Chapter 26**  
**Avoiding**  
**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.**

_...many parents are livid, claiming that Dumbledore's aims to institute a fund to help support Muggleborn students attending Hogwarts and the schools around are discriminating against similarly in need members of our community. Between this and his previous stance that students attending Hogwarts will only go towards those who possess certain criteria, regardless of whether or not they are part of the Wizarding community, many are calling for a change in direction. _

_Abraxus Malfoy, a respected member of the Wizarding community, has gone so far as to declare, "Headmaster Dumbledore continues endlessly to undermine the birthrights of our children, preventing them from being able to even attend school and get the educations they deserve. Some may question the Dark Lord's aims, but..."_

"Lily, it is impolite to read at the kitchen table during breakfast. Close the newspaper until you have finished eating." said Marigold, who frowned at her youngest, her head barely visible over the Daily Prophet.

Lily pursed her lips, but folded the newspaper up and set it down beside her, ignoring Petunia's muffled laughter. "I was just reading an article about how some 'upstanding citizens' want to put down Muggleborns...again. I mean, it's already bad enough I can't practice for my Apparition test..."

"Oh, so you're complaining about it being hard for you to learn to teleport. Nothing's good enough for dear Lily, is it?" muttered Petunia, a sour expression on her face, before returning to her tea.

Rather than retort, Lily took a bite of her breakfast, slowly chewing the buttered toast. She also tried to ignore the empty seat that should have belonged to her dad...something which took more effort.

Marigold gave her eldest a stern look, but instead said, "You said that you were going to go out with Vernon this afternoon. Do you know what time you'll be back?"

Petunia eyed her mother warily, but said, "Around seven, I think. Is that alright?"

Marigold seemed to consider. "That should be fine. I'll keep tonight's dinner simmering a bit longer so you'll have something warm to eat." She turned to Lily. "We're going to be having company this afternoon. Mr. Potter will be stopping by to see you."

Upon hearing this, Lily choked on a fried egg. After coughing for some time, she managed to force it down, before shouting, "James is coming here!?"

"No shouting at the breakfast table," snapped her mother, before continuing in a more level tone of voice, "Yes, James will be coming, but I was referring to his father, Edric Potter. He wanted to meet the girl who will be touring Europe with his son."

"But mom, I had plans!" cried out Lily, although keeping her voice below shouting volume...barely. "Severus and I were going to see if we could look up anything on Apparition. The test is the day after tomorrow!"

"Well, Lily, I'm afraid there isn't much to be done," said Marigold in a testy voice. "Now, no more back-talk. He is going to be here in a couple of hours, so you'd best get ready. You still have that dress your father bought you for Christmas, right? The yellow one."

"Yes," said Lily sullenly. "Would you like me to wear it, mother?"

Marigold gave her daughter a warning look, but said, "Yes, now go. put it on"

Lily obeyed, and by noon, not only had she gotten herself ready, dressed in her best clothing and fully made up, but she had even cleaned the house with a flurry of charms. Her mom had been thrilled to have her working so hard, but Lily had done it only to vent her ever-growing anger at being put upon to do this.

By now, her glare seemed to have become part of her face as she watched the door. Tapping her fingers grimly, she heard a giant cracking noise ripping it's way through the air, signalling the arrival of James and his father.

"Oh, they're here." Marigold had similarly dressed perfectly, wearing a lovely green dress which brought out the emerald eyes on her barely-lined face. She called her eldest daughter, "Petunia, did you prepare the tea?"

"Yes, mother," came Petunia's voice, taut like a perfectly-tuned violin. "Everything is ready."

Even though she detested so-called freaks, Lily had noticed her determination and care as she prepared the refreshments. She could honestly say that she had never seen any biscuits that were quite so appetizing to behold.

She supposed that Petunia just didn't have it in her to appear uncouth in front of an invited guest.

A knock came at the door, then another and another, each knock in a precise, even tempo.

Lily opened the door, behind which stood James in a royal blue set of dress robes, giving her a roguish wink. Beside him stood a tall, willowy sort of man, with thin grey hair and an obvious bald patch.

The man, obviously James' father, spoke in a quiet, measured tone of voice, "Hello, you must be Lily Evans. Correct?"

"Uh, yes. I'm Lily," replied said girl, rather taken aback. "You must be James' dad."

He nodded. "Indeed, I am Edric Potter." He looked her over from head to toe, examining her with brown eyes so like his son's. "Tell me, do you enjoy a game of Gobstones?"

Lily blinked. "Uh...I'm not particularly fond of it myself."

"A shame, a shame," said Edric in a solemn voice. "I so rarely meet someone to match wits with in that most noble of games. It has been very long indeed.

"Father," said James, seeming to fight the urge to laugh. "We're supposed to be making a good impression here, not a...bit of a lame one."

Edric seemed to consider, before giving his son a rather fond, paternal ruffle of the hair. "This is true, son." He turned back to Lily, who by now was rather confused. "I apologize for my rude badgering. Might my son and I invite ourselves inside."

"Certainly you may," said Marigold warmly, offering both of the Potter men a bright smile as they walked inside the Evans home. "How have you been, James?"

James grinned. "I've been doing very well, Mrs. Evans. How about you and Daisy?"

"That's 'Petunia'," said the woman in question, somehow managing to look down her nose at James even though he was a good six inches taller. "And although it has been stressful in the wake of my father's death, we have been enjoying a quiet, normal summer." She smirked. "You do remember the funeral, don't you?"

"Petunia!" said Marigold, scandalized.

"Of course I remember," said James, frowning at Petunia and saying solemnly, "I know he meant a lot to Lily, and I was downright honored to be a support to her when I came."

"I'm sure you were," replied Petunia in a tone that suggested she didn't mean a word of it. "Would you like to sit down, Edric, Jamie?"

"That would be splendid, Petunia," said Mr. Potter brightly. "Oh, you have some biscuits set already. How lovely. Let's go sit, Jamie."

"Yes...father." James had a twitch in his eye as he nodded.

Lily covered her mouth, having to try particularly hard to keep in her laughter.

They all sat down, save for Petunia, who went to the kitchen to fetch a pot of tea.

"So, Lily," said James with a grin. "Are you looking forward to seeing Europe? I'll bet you've never gone to Antwerp before, have you?"

"No, I haven't," replied Lily, unable to keep the sour expression from her face as she was forcibly reminded of what was bothering her. Nonetheless, she tried to stay polite. "Have you been there before?"

"Yeah, once or twice...although I was only two the first time so I don't really count it. All the same, I can't wait to go there again." He grimaced a bit. "I am going to miss Peter and Remus though."

"I'm going to miss my friends a lot too," said Lily in an understanding voice. "I'm only going to see Mary once or twice before we go back to Hogwarts, and Sabrina not at all." She looked down, saying quietly, "And I'll barely get to see Severus at all."

She heard James let out a groan, and barely heard him mutter, "Why is it always Snape?"

However, before she could say anything else, Petunia returned with the tea, a sour look upon her face as she poured, first for the elder Potter, who took three spoonfuls of sugar in his, in contrast to the one of everybody else-Lily wondered if he would have happier drinking sugar-water.

Once everyone, even Petunia, had started sipping their tea, Edric turned to Lily and asked, "So, Lily Evans...tell me about yourself. I don't know much about you, save for what his mother and I overhear him discussing with young Sirius."

"Lily is a model student," said Marigold with a smile. "She's adored by her friends and-"

Edric held up a hand, interrupting Lily's mom. "Not to be rude, Ms. Evens, but I wanted your daughter to answer."

Lily's face flushed. "Well, like my mum said, I do well in classes, although Severus usually does a bit better in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I like quidditch, although not as much as some people." She gave a significant look at James, who grinned.

"That sounds quite lovely, Miss Evans," said James' father with a solemn nod of the head. "However, I'm curious, what's it like being a Muggleborn in Hogwarts? I know that when I was young, there was a great deal of dislike for those like you. Why, this one young woman ended up deciding to quit the Gobstones club!"

Lily fought the urge to snort. The way he spoke made it clear that he found it a most heinous of crimes. Swallowing her amusement, she said, "Apart from the morons who are planning to join You-Know-Who after Hogwarts, it hasn't been too bad."

"She's right, although You-Know-Who's little minions don't do too much with me and Sirius keeping an eye on them," said James proudly. "They know that if they take a step out of line, Bam! We'll get them, no matter what Dark Magic they might have."

"Dark Magic?" said Edric with a frown. "James, you should know better than that. Dark Magic is not to be dealt with lightly. If you see anyone using it, let the teachers know immediately." He shook his head. "If you ask me they should all be expelled from Hogwarts. Dark Magic...really. In my day..."

"I'm not afraid of them, Dad," said James, smirking.

Lily frowned, something niggling at the back of her mind. "Is using Dark Magic worth expulsion though? Is it really?"

Edric looked at her strangely. "Certainly, Miss Evans. If Dark Magic is used upon another human being, it can cause terrible pain and suffering, even if there is a cure for it."

"But not all Dark Magic is that bad..." Lily snapped her fingers, finally remembering. "Edric...do you have a relative named Charlus by any chance?"

Both Potters seemed to go rigid. James' father looking as if he swallowed a cockroach. With a long sigh, he said, "I once had a brother by that name, yes."

"Oh, is that so?" asked Lily. "Wait, you 'once had'...did he die?"

"No," replied Edric. "He is no longer considered to be part of the Potter family. I disowned him ten years ago."

Lily glared at the old man, gritting her teeth as she said in a falsely polite tone, "Oh, so apparently it's worth disowning one's brother, then?"

"Quite so," said Edric sagely, nodding his head in agreement.

"He wrote a book on the Dark Arts, it's classification and use," stated Lily, even as her mother made a shushing gesture. Ignoring it, she continued scathingly, "You thought it was worth it to disown your own brother because of that?"

"I certainly considered it at the time," said the elderly man with a sad smile. "It took me a while to make my decision, too long, one might say."

"Of course you did..." said Petunia with no small amount of sarcasm.

James sent a stony glare Petunia's way, before trying to change the subject, "So, Lily, what would you like to do first when we go to Europe?"

Lily ignored him. "I suppose I can see where James gets his attitude on Dark Magic from, Mr. Potter."

"It's quite probable," said Edric, sighing. "It was quite difficult for me to watch my brother be sent to Azkaban for all those murders. James may have taken his cue from me." He paused, giving Lily a piercing look, showing that he was not quite as senile as he might have appeared. "There are those that make excuses for the Dark Arts. They are wrong. It is inherently corrupting and destructive in nature, and those that think they can use it in a benign and safe manner...they are fools indeed."

Silence filled the air, none knowing quite what to say.

Edric then spoke. "The biscuits were delicious, by the way. Can I ask for the recipe?"

* * *

"...and that's how it ended?" asked Mary, she and Lily conversing quietly in a corner of the field where the apparition tests were to be held. Her long, brown hair tied back in a pony-tail, she wasn't much affected by the windy weather. "He just said that, and the discussion ended?"

"Well, there wasn't much else I could say to that. I mean, how would you have responded? In the end, I excused myself." In contrast to Mary, Lily had to hold her hair to keep it from blowing about. "He's wrong though, isn't he?"

"I don't know. Probably. I don't think that Dark Magic is any more 'corrupting' than any other type, really. You should have heard what Sabrina told me some of the other girls were doing with Love Potions. It'd make your head spin." Mary shook her head. "James' father is a real character though. Explains a lot about James, really. I wonder what kind of effect your father has on...ooh, right." She winced, noticing Lily's frozen face. "I didn't mean to...sorry."

"Don't worry about it," said Lily, forcing a smile. "It's alright."

It wasn't quite alright, not when breakfasts seemed so much quieter, not when her mother always seemed a bit more tired, not when there were no offerings of trips for ice cream. That wasn't something Lily really wanted to go into right then though, and not with Mary.

Lily quickly changed the subject, "I was half-hoping that after the way our little get-together had gone, he'd call off the whole trip to Europe thing-I'd do it myself, but mom refused to budge on it."

Mary laughed. "Oh come on, don't you at least want to see the Eiffel tower once? Or the Arc de Triomphe...or the beaches of Italy?"

"Well, maybe," admitted Lily. "It's more the company that's the problem than the destination."

"Is it James or Sirius?" asked Mary, still chuckling.

"Honestly, both. I mean, I don't mind James at school. He's gotten better, after all. He's someone you might say 'hi' to, or 'how're classes going?', not someone I'd want to spend two weeks straight with." She shuddered. "All that is twice as true for Sirius."

Mary nodded. "That I can definitely see."

Smiling, Lily said wistfully, "I wish Severus were coming instead. That would fix it. I'm sure he'd know all kinds of interesting places to go to." She wondered if he might kiss her in those places, too.

Mary rolled her eyes. "'Interesting places', I'm sure. Speaking of Severus, how does he feel about you going to Europe with two Marauders? I'll bet he's absolutely thrilled..."

Lily rubbed her temples, sighing. "Well, when I told him, he was quite angry, but since then, he's avoided the subject completely. It might have been because he felt odd talking about it in front of my mom or something, though."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, we've been meeting at my house for studying. Haven't had any real time alone to ourselves since the day we left Hogwarts. It's a shame too. I don't think I'll be able to see him much this Summer." Grimacing, she muttered, "Stupid Evelyn."

"What do you mean?" asked Mary?

"Well, you see-"

"Quiet everybody, it's time to start," said the instructor, causing both Mary and Lily to stop talking. He was an elderly-looking wizard, seemingly as old as Dumbledore and wearing a strange mixture of orange suspenders and purple robes. "Now, to begin with..."

As he started explaining the step for apparition, the 'three D's', Lily felt her mind wandering. She had already gone over all this with Severus anyway. Instead, she found herself glancing in Severus' direction, who seemed to be equally distracted, as whenever she peeked over, she found him looking back.

She winked at him, enjoying the pink color spreading across his pale cheeks at the sight, then felt her own face flush as he smirked back at her.

In response, she mouthed 'Can't wait to see you again' to him.

His blush deepened, and she couldn't resist miming a kiss, causing him to go positively red.

"So, how are things going with your boyfriend," asked Mary casually, causing Lily's head to whip around, only to see her friend casually watching her.

"What...we're not. I'm not..." Lily tried to stammer some sort of denial in the face of the brunette's knowing smile. "Ok, we are. Happy?"

"What you do with Severus behind closed doors is none of my business," said Mary without concern. She seemed to consider. "Well, unless it gets you up the duff."

"Mary!" whispered Lily, blushing furiously as she glanced around to make sure no-one else heard. "Severus isn't...I'm not...we're not...I'm not...too soon!"

"Ah well, just be careful, alright?" Mary seemed to consider. "What did you mean earlier about not being able to see him for much of the Summer?"

"It's Evelyn bloody Matthews," replied Lily, before grimacing. "Sorry, I shouldn't be cursing. It'll be good for Severus anyway. He needs this opportunity."

"Opportunity? What are you on about?"

"Apparently Evelyn's father is a Potions Master, and she got him to offer a full apprenticeship, pay, room and board. All of it." Lily rubbed her temples again. "It's really good of her, and a really good way to make up for what happened a couple months back. Severus desperately needs a break like this. It'll be good for him," said Lily sourly.

Mary gave her a look, saying, "Lily, I know you too well. You're trying to convince yourself. What's bothering you?"

"The Evelyn part of it," said Lily with a grimace, giving her hair up as a lost cause and letting it flow freely in the breeze. "I just...don't like her."

"Huh," Mary glanced up at the front momentarily. "Good, we have another couple minutes. He's still on the second 'D'." Turning back to the Lily, she said, "Look, Lily, I know that Evelyn and Severus are good friends, and you know it. She isn't a pureblood maniac supporter of 'You-Know-Who', and she isn't deliberately trying to hurt him or anything."

"I know," admitted Lily. "She's a bit, well, slaggy, but nothing too awful."

"Perhaps you're a mite jealous."

Lily's eyes widened, then narrowed as she hissed, "I am not jealous! She's just an awful influence on him. That's all!"

"Huh, thought that might be it." Mary shrugged, before grinning fiendishly. "However, I do have an idea to handle the Europe situation."

"What?" Lily was still reeling from the accusation.

Mary's grin widened. "Never you mind. Just tell Severus that he's got to show me some more of his spells in return for this."

"What sort of spells are you talking about?" asked Lily guardedly, as Mary simply laughed.

"Don't worry about that. we're up now, anyway. Now, three 'D's' time!"

Shaking her head, Lily began her first attempt at apparition.

She nearly splinched herself that time, and the time after that, she was still missing a lock of hair, but the third time, she did it without error.

Now, she could apparate.

* * *

_Dear Medusa,_

_I'm sorry for having taken so long to reply. My life has been quite hectic of late._

_As for my mother, I disagree completely._

_Someone should have been there for her, someone should have protected her. I should have. I didn't. Happiness has nothing to do with it._

_In short, you are wrong._

_However, you make a valid point in regards to my friend. Perhaps I was committing a classic 'Sunk Cost Fallacy', as the Muggles might say. And I do feel more and more content with my choice as time goes on. _  
_  
It still feels like I wasted much of my life...but perhaps that is because I wasted it to begin with. Hmm, I have much to think about, it seems._

_On another note, it has been some time since you mentioned the book we were discussing, due to our getting side-tracked. Have you had any further progress?_

_Your friend, _

_Perseus_

_P.S. I've managed to obtain an apprenticeship, and will be leaving on the morrow. Wish me good fortune._

* * *

The day he was to leave, Severus got up, conducted his daily ablutions, then went to the Evans family home to say goodbye to Lily. He left the key under the doormat like he did in January, just in case Tobias Snape showed up.

He knew he probably wouldn't, but wanted to make sure all the same.

Either way, he was careful to arrive long before Lily was able to head to his house like she had told him she planned to do. He couldn't risk them being alone again.

Glancing down at his hands, he grimaced.

It just wouldn't be safe.

**Author's Note: **Sorry once more for my very long hiatus. This chapter was very difficult for me, as I wasn't sure where I was going with it many a time. Plus, work has been quite stressful.

I want to especially thank Rago Dragovian for his review, as his was the one that finally got me off my bottom and writing. Thank you, Sir or Madam, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous ones.

After this chapter, I hope you all have plenty to think about :).


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